Narrator: Imagine a team of highly skilled engineers, flown halfway across the world for critical technical training. For days, they sit in complete silence, never raising a hand, never asking a single question. Their American instructor, accustomed to interactive sessions, assumes they understand the material perfectly. But the truth is, they comprehend only about 20 percent. They are overwhelmed and confused, yet they would rather risk failure than speak up. Why would they stay silent? The answer lies in a powerful, universal, yet often misunderstood concept: the fear of "losing face."

This scenario, drawn from real-world experience, is the central puzzle explored in Maya Hu-Chan's insightful book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust. Hu-Chan reveals that "face"—a person's self-esteem, reputation, and dignity—is not just a cultural quirk but a fundamental social currency that governs our interactions. The book provides a crucial guide for leaders and individuals on how to navigate this complex dynamic to build trust, avoid misunderstandings, and foster stronger, more authentic relationships.

Narrator: Maya Hu-Chan argues that "face" should be understood as a type of social currency. It represents a person's status, reputation, pride, and dignity. In every interaction, we are either making "deposits" into or "withdrawals" from our own and others' "face accounts." Deposits are made through acts of respect, appreciation, and empathy. Withdrawals happen when someone is made to feel devalued, humiliated, or unappreciated. A relationship with a healthy balance can withstand an occasional withdrawal, but if the account is overdrawn, the relationship can be irreparably damaged.

A powerful example from the book illustrates how easily this currency can be lost. A sales manager had a strong working relationship with his company's engineering team. Rushing to a flight after a meeting, he took a quick photo of the team's whiteboard, which contained their work-in-progress, errors and all. He didn't think twice about it. But in the following days, communication from the engineers became cold and terse. Deadlines were missed. When the manager finally confronted the lead engineer, he discovered the team felt deeply betrayed. They didn't know who would see the photo of their mistakes, and the act of capturing their unpolished work without permission caused them to lose face. The manager had made a massive, unintentional withdrawal, and it took a sincere apology to begin repairing the trust he had broken.

Narrator: Losing face can leave a lasting negative impact, much like, as an old saying goes, "spilled water is hard to regain." Therefore, preventing face loss is a critical skill, especially in cross-cultural communication. This requires empathy and a deep understanding of how one's actions might be perceived by others.

The author shares a personal story that highlights this challenge. While leading a leadership seminar, she interrupted a Korean manager who had paused mid-thought. Accustomed to a faster American communication style, she assumed he was finished and moved on. The manager, however, felt deeply disrespected and was about to walk out of the conference. A colleague alerted the author to the situation, explaining that in his culture, the interruption was a significant slight. The author immediately sought out the manager, apologized privately and sincerely, and explained the cultural misstep. The manager accepted the apology and became an enthusiastic participant for the rest of the seminar. This incident demonstrates how easily face can be lost through unintentional actions and how a prompt, genuine apology is essential to restoring it.

Narrator: Saving face is not about being soft, avoiding conflict, or letting poor performance slide. True, authentic acts of saving face are rooted in a positive intention to preserve dignity for all parties. It requires genuine respect and an understanding of the other person's perspective, not manipulation.

A poignant story from the book captures this principle perfectly. The author, after a meal at New York's Carnegie Deli, offered her leftover pastrami sandwich to a homeless man. The man accepted, but as she walked away, he ran after her. He insisted on giving her a coupon for a local show, explaining that he wanted to make it a trade. He needed to preserve his own dignity by not simply accepting a handout. He was saving his own face. This interaction reveals a fundamental human need for self-respect. Authentic acts of honoring face recognize this need, treating others as equals and acknowledging their inherent worth, regardless of their circumstances.

Narrator: To move from a reactive to a proactive approach, Hu-Chan introduces the BUILD model, a framework for creating strong business relationships. The acronym stands for Benevolence/Accountability, Understanding, Interacting, Learning, and Delivery. It provides a structured way for leaders to build trust, especially in a global context.

The story of Peter, a global executive in North Carolina managing a team in Beijing, shows the model in action. A 360-degree review revealed that his Chinese team found him cold, unapproachable, and impatient. He was seen as a demanding boss who didn't understand their challenges. Shaken by the feedback, Peter decided to change. He began practicing Benevolence, starting with small gestures like sending personal birthday emails. He extended his trips to Beijing to have meals with the team and get to know them personally (Interacting). He sought to Understand their perspective and created a "no-blame" culture focused on problem-solving. Three months later, a follow-up review showed a remarkable transformation. His team now described him as a supportive, kind boss they felt lucky to work with. By applying the principles of BUILD, Peter transformed a dysfunctional relationship into a thriving one.

Narrator: Working effectively across cultures requires more than good intentions; it demands cultural agility. Hu-Chan presents a simple yet powerful model for developing this skill: Aware, Acquire, and Adapt (AAA). First, leaders must be Aware of their own cultural biases and communication style. Second, they must Acquire knowledge about the other culture's values and norms. Finally, they must Adapt their behavior to bridge the differences.

Consider the case of a U.S. furniture company that hired a factory in Dongguan, China. The U.S. team sent detailed blueprints for a new table, but the Chinese factory kept delaying production, adding un-requested metal rods to the table legs. The Americans grew frustrated, suspecting incompetence. However, a local manager investigated and discovered the real issue: the Chinese team was unfamiliar with the specific metal joints in the design and hesitated to admit it for fear of losing face. Once the U.S. team became Aware of this underlying fear, they Acquired this crucial piece of information and Adapted their approach. They reassured the factory of their confidence and worked together to find a supplier for the correct parts. The conflict was resolved, and the project succeeded, all because they moved beyond surface-level frustration to understand the cultural dynamics at play.

Narrator: In the modern workplace, the concept of "face" is directly linked to psychological safety—the belief that one can take risks without fear of being humiliated. Effective feedback is impossible in an environment where employees fear losing face. Leaders must deliver feedback in a way that honors dignity and inspires growth, not defensiveness.

The book tells the story of Joseph, a top salesperson from the Philippines, who made a commitment to a client without proper approval. His American manager, Mark, directly told him he had made a mistake. For Joseph, this direct criticism in a professional setting was a major loss of face, and he immediately submitted his resignation. Mark, shocked, had to quickly reassure Joseph of his value to the company to convince him to stay. This highlights a critical lesson: the impact of feedback matters more than the intent. By creating a culture where feedback is constructive and face is protected, leaders can foster the psychological safety that Google's Project Aristotle identified as the number one predictor of high-performing teams.

Narrator: Ultimately, Saving Face delivers a powerful and essential message: dignity is the bedrock of trust, and trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. The book's single most important takeaway is that "face" is not an abstract or foreign concept but a universal human need. Honoring it in our interactions—whether with colleagues, clients, or family—is one of the most effective ways to build loyalty, inspire collaboration, and navigate an increasingly complex global landscape.

The challenge this book leaves us with is a fundamental shift in perspective. Instead of asking, "How can I get my point across?" we should start asking, "How can I get my point across while preserving the dignity of everyone involved?" By making that simple but profound change, we can transform our relationships and become more effective, empathetic, and respected leaders in every aspect of our lives.