Olivia: Alright Jackson, I'm going to say the title of a leadership book, and I want your gut reaction. Ready? Leading with Love and Laughter. Jackson: My gut reaction? It sounds like the title of a seminar held at a failing clown college. Are we sure this isn't a self-help book for muppets? Olivia: I knew you’d say that! And that’s the brilliant paradox we’re diving into today. The book is Leading with Love and Laughter: Letting Go and Getting Real at Work by Zina Sutch and Patrick Malone. And here’s the twist that got me hooked. Jackson: Oh, I'm ready for it. Olivia: The authors aren't from a clown college. Zina Sutch has spent over two decades leading development and diversity programs in the U.S. government. Patrick Malone is a retired Navy captain with 23 years of service. These are people from some of the most high-stakes, bureaucratic, and traditionally stoic environments on the planet. Jackson: Wait, a Navy captain and a senior government executive? Arguing for love and laughter? Okay, now I'm listening. That changes the entire frame. They’re not theorists in an ivory tower; they’ve been in the trenches. Olivia: Exactly. They’ve seen firsthand that the old models of command-and-control leadership are failing. They argue that the things we dismiss as "soft skills" are actually the most powerful strategic assets a leader has. Jackson: Huh. So they’re basically saying that the most human parts of us are what make us the best leaders. I’m intrigued. Where do we even start with a concept as big as 'love' in the workplace? It sounds… risky.

Olivia: It does sound risky, and that’s the first barrier the book tackles. They’re very clear that this isn't about romantic love or inappropriate familiarity. They draw on the Greek concepts of love to give it structure. We're talking about Philia—a deep friendship and mutual respect—and Agape, which is a selfless care for the well-being of others. Jackson: Okay, so Philia and Agape. That’s more like deep-seated respect and genuine compassion. That feels more grounded in a professional setting. But why even use the word 'love'? It’s so loaded. Olivia: Because they want to be provocative! They want to force us to confront our discomfort with emotion at work. The research they cite is staggering. One study by Dr. Fiona Beddoes-Jones found that 96 percent of employees would work harder for an organization where they felt genuinely cared for. Ninety-six percent! Jackson: Wow. That’s almost everyone. So feeling cared for isn't just a nice-to-have, it's a direct driver of productivity. It’s a bottom-line issue. Olivia: It's a massive bottom-line issue. And the book argues that leaders who shy away from this are leaving incredible potential on the table. But the most important type of love they discuss is Philautia—self-love. Jackson: Hold on, 'Philautia'? Can we break that down? That sounds dangerously close to narcissism. Is that just a fancy word for being selfish? Olivia: That’s the common misconception. The book defines it as authentic self-acceptance. It's about knowing your strengths and weaknesses, being comfortable with your imperfections, and having the self-worth to be vulnerable. A leader who doesn't like themselves, who is deeply insecure, can't genuinely extend care and trust to others. Their actions will always be filtered through their own need for validation. Jackson: I can see that. The insecure boss who micromanages every detail because they don't trust anyone, including themselves. Or the leader who can never admit a mistake. That all stems from a lack of that self-acceptance, that Philautia. Olivia: Precisely. And this all sounds great in theory, but the book gives one of the most powerful real-world examples of this I have ever read. It’s the story of Arthur T. Demoulas. Jackson: I’m not familiar with him. Who was he? Olivia: He was the CEO of Market Basket, a family-owned grocery chain in New England. He was known for running the company with a deep sense of care. He paid his employees well above the industry average, offered generous profit-sharing, and, most importantly, he knew them. He’d walk the stores, remember people's names, ask about their families. He embodied that Agape care. Jackson: That sounds like a good guy, but not necessarily revolutionary. Olivia: Well, here's where it gets wild. In 2014, due to a bitter family feud, the board of directors, led by his rival cousin, fired him. Jackson: Ah, a corporate backstabbing. A tale as old as time. So the employees were probably nervous, but life goes on, right? Olivia: Not even close. What happened next was unprecedented. The employees revolted. Not for more pay, not for better benefits, but to get their CEO back. Thousands of them walked off the job. Warehouse workers, truck drivers, cashiers—they all went on strike. They held massive rallies, holding signs that said "Bring Back Artie T." Jackson: You're kidding me. Employees went on strike to reinstate a CEO? That's unheard of. It's usually the other way around. Olivia: It gets even crazier. The customers joined in. They boycotted the stores en masse. Pictures went viral of these huge supermarkets with completely empty shelves because the supply chain had ground to a halt and customers refused to shop there. The company was losing millions of dollars a day. The governors of Massachusetts and New Hampshire had to step in to mediate. Jackson: This is unbelievable. All because they felt this leader genuinely cared for them. So that's the 'love' the book is talking about. It’s not a feeling; it’s a force. It’s a loyalty so powerful it can bring a multi-billion dollar company to its knees. Olivia: Exactly. After a six-week standoff, the board caved. Arthur T. Demoulas bought out his cousin's side of the family and was reinstated as CEO. The employees celebrated like they’d won a championship. One was quoted saying, "I feel like I won the lottery." That is the return on investment for leading with love. Jackson: Wow. That story gives me chills. It completely reframes the idea from a soft, fluffy concept to a hard-nosed strategic advantage. You can't buy that kind of loyalty. You have to earn it through genuine human connection.

Olivia: Exactly. It's about creating those deep human bonds. And that brings us to the second, seemingly lighter, part of the equation: laughter. Because once you have that foundation of trust, that psychological safety that Artie T. built, you can afford to be human. You can afford to laugh. Jackson: That makes sense. It’s hard to share a genuine laugh with someone you don’t trust. So how do the authors frame laughter? Is it about leaders needing to be stand-up comedians? Because I’ve seen that go wrong so many times. Olivia: Oh, definitely not. They are very clear it’s not about telling canned jokes or forcing humor. It’s about fostering an environment of lightheartedness and, crucially, having the humility to laugh at yourself. It’s what they call the 'courage to chill.' Jackson: The 'courage to chill.' I like that. It implies that being overly serious and stoic all the time isn't a sign of strength, but maybe a sign of fear. Fear of looking foolish or losing control. Olivia: That’s the core idea. And they have another fantastic, and much more modern, story to illustrate this. It’s the story of Lizet Ocampo, a political director in Washington D.C. Jackson: Okay, from a grocery store CEO to a D.C. political director. Let's hear it. Olivia: So, during the pandemic, Lizet was leading a virtual meeting with her team on Microsoft Teams. She was trying to find a fun filter to use and somehow, accidentally, turned herself into a potato. A talking potato with just her eyes and mouth visible. Jackson: (laughing) Oh no. The ultimate virtual meeting nightmare. Olivia: And she couldn't figure out how to turn it off! She’s clicking everywhere, her team is trying to help, but nothing’s working. She’s just stuck as this disembodied potato. So, in this moment of potential embarrassment, she had a choice. She could panic, end the meeting, and feel mortified. Jackson: Which is what most people would do. Olivia: Right. But instead, she just sighed and said, "Well, I'm a potato now," and continued to lead the entire meeting as a potato. Her team was, of course, trying to stifle their laughter. One of them, without telling her, snapped a screenshot and posted it on Twitter with the caption, "My boss turned herself into a potato on our Microsoft Teams meeting and isn’t letting it stop her from leading us." Jackson: Oh, I remember seeing that! It went completely viral. That was her? It was hilarious. But that's a perfect example of the incongruity theory of humor the book talks about, right? The humor comes from the clash between our expectation—a serious political director—and the reality—a talking potato. Olivia: It’s a perfect example. The tweet got millions of views. She became known globally as the "Potato Boss." But the key insight isn't that it went viral. It’s how her team reacted. They didn't see her as foolish; they saw her as human, relatable, and hilarious. Her ability to laugh at herself in that moment, to embrace the absurdity, strengthened their bond. It showed she had the 'courage to chill.' Jackson: That’s such a great story. But it raises a practical question. What's the takeaway for a leader who doesn't accidentally become a root vegetable on a video call? How do you use humor effectively without it backfiring or making you seem unprofessional?

Olivia: That is the million-dollar question, and it’s where the book ties everything together beautifully. The ability to lead with laughter is a direct result of leading with love. The two are completely intertwined. Jackson: What do you mean? Olivia: Lizet Ocampo could get away with being a potato because her team already trusted and respected her. There was a foundation of psychological safety—of Philia. Her humor wasn't a performance; it was an authentic moment of vulnerability. If a leader that everyone fears or dislikes tries to be funny, it often lands with a thud or, worse, feels manipulative. Jackson: Ah, I see. So you have to earn the right to be lighthearted by first being genuinely caring. You can't just show up with jokes on day one if you're the kind of boss who makes everyone nervous. Olivia: You can't. The book talks about leader archetypes who get this wrong. There's the "I Got This!" leader, like Leon in the book, who is so confident in his own expertise that he’s completely closed off to feedback and real connection. He thinks everything is fine because no one is complaining, but in reality, his team is disengaged and afraid to speak up. Jackson: I think we’ve all worked for a Leon. And I can also hear a lot of our listeners thinking, "This is a nice fairy tale, but my boss is a robot and my company culture is toxic. This won't work here." That’s the other archetype, right? The "This Won't Work!" leader. Olivia: Yes, the Jocelyn character in the book. She’s the leader who feels defeated by the system. And the authors acknowledge that these barriers are real. But their message is that you don't need to boil the ocean. You can start small. You can be the one person who asks a colleague how their weekend was and actually listens to the answer. You can be the one who admits in a meeting, "I don't have the answer to that, but let's figure it out together." Jackson: So it’s about creating small pockets of humanity. It’s not about a grand, top-down cultural revolution. It’s about individual choices that, over time, can create a ripple effect. Olivia: Exactly. It’s about choosing to be the one who brings a little more care, a little more humility, a little more humanity into your interactions. The love builds the trust, and the trust gives you permission to laugh. They are two sides of the same coin: authentic, human-centered leadership. Jackson: So the big takeaway isn't just "be nice" or "tell jokes." It's that these emotional expressions are the very foundation of effective leadership in the modern world. With all the talk about burnout and the Great Resignation, this message feels more urgent than ever. Olivia: It is. The world is tired of scripted, robotic leaders. People are craving connection and authenticity. The book gives us permission to bring our whole selves to work. Jackson: I love that. It’s a powerful and, frankly, hopeful message. It redefines strength in leadership not as being infallible, but as being incredibly human. Olivia: Exactly. So the question for all of us isn't 'How can I be funnier?' or 'How can I show more love?' but maybe it's 'How can I build enough trust that my own humanity can shine through?' Jackson: That’s a question worth sitting with. We'd love to hear from our listeners on this. Have you ever had a leader who truly led with love or laughter? What did that look like, and what impact did it have? Share your stories with us on our social channels. We'd genuinely love to read them. Olivia: This is Aibrary, signing off.