Hold Me Tight

We are caught up in emotions that are part of a survival program set out by millions of years of evolution.

When we feel generally secure, that is, we are comfortable with closeness and confident about depending on loved ones, we are better at seeking support — and better at giving it.

But it remained for John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist, to figure out exactly what was going on.

Jim snorts, rolls his eyes, and swivels his chair away from his wife.

What the hell do you mean by that, that ridiculous expression? I have tried a lot harder to be supportive in this relationship than you have, you smug son of a bitch.

I will never come to you for support. And the reason is right here. You would just berate me.

Change starts with seeing the pattern, with focusing on the game rather than the ball.

You would rather act superior, as always.

The desire to win the fight and prove the other is the bad guy has such a pull. But in fact, nobody wins this one. Both lose.

The desire to win the fight and prove the other is the bad guy has such a pull. But in fact, nobody wins this one.