Narrator: Imagine a small group of students brought into a lab to work on a tedious policy-writing task. Partway through, a researcher brings in a plate with five chocolate chip cookies—one for each of the three students, plus two extra. In this scenario, one student has been randomly designated the "leader," given the power to evaluate the others. Who takes the fourth cookie? Almost without fail, it's the leader. Not only that, but they tend to eat it messily, mouth open, with crumbs falling everywhere, as if they've earned it. This simple experiment reveals a profound and dangerous truth about human nature. It's a truth explored in detail by psychologist Dacher Keltner in his book, The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. Keltner argues that the very qualities that help us gain power are often the first casualties once we have it.

Narrator: The common view of power, shaped by thinkers like Machiavelli, is that it's taken by force, deception, and coercion. Keltner dismantles this idea, redefining power not as dominance, but as the capacity to make a difference in the world by influencing others. This influence isn't seized; it's granted by the group.

Consider the work of Thomas Clarkson in the 18th century. As a Cambridge student, he wrote a prize-winning essay on the horrors of the slave trade, a practice that was the backbone of European economies. His work didn't stop there. He connected with a network of abolitionists and traveled across the United Kingdom, gathering firsthand accounts of the trade's brutality. He published his findings in pamphlets that stirred the public conscience. Clarkson didn't command armies or hold high office. Instead, he altered the state of others by changing what they knew and what they believed. His power came from the group—the abolitionist network and the public—who granted him influence because his work advanced the greater good. This principle holds true in modern life. In studies of college dorms, the students who gain the most influence aren't the most aggressive or manipulative; they're the ones who are enthusiastic, kind, and focused on the group's well-being. Power flows to those who improve the lives of others.

Narrator: If power is a gift from the group, then maintaining it requires continuously acting in ways that benefit that group. Keltner identifies four key practices for building enduring power: empathy, giving, gratitude, and telling unifying stories. These behaviors strengthen social bonds and signal a commitment to the collective.

A fascinating study of NBA teams illustrates this perfectly. Researchers meticulously coded every high-five, chest bump, and supportive pat between teammates during the first games of a season. They found a direct correlation: the more a team's players touched one another, the better that team performed by the end of the season. They played more efficiently, cooperated more, and won more games. Touch, in this context, is a form of giving—a nonverbal signal of trust, encouragement, and appreciation. It empowers others and fosters a collaborative spirit. Similarly, expressing gratitude reinforces social bonds, while telling stories that create shared joy or purpose unites a group. These other-focused actions are the bedrock of lasting influence, creating a positive feedback loop where contributing to the group’s success enhances one's own power.

Narrator: Here lies the central paradox: the experience of having power can systematically destroy the very skills that enabled us to gain it in the first place. Power makes us feel less dependent on others, shifting our focus inward toward our own goals and desires. This leads to what Keltner calls an "empathy deficit."

In one clever experiment, participants were made to feel powerful or powerless and then asked to draw the letter 'E' on their foreheads for someone else to see. Those feeling powerless had no trouble drawing it from the other person's perspective. But those feeling powerful were nearly three times more likely to draw it backward, from their own egocentric viewpoint. Power literally made it harder for them to see the world from another's perspective. This empathy deficit leads to self-serving impulsivity (like taking the extra cookie), incivility, and disrespect. Studies show that drivers of luxury cars are four times more likely to cut off other drivers at a four-way stop and significantly more likely to ignore pedestrians at a crosswalk. The feeling of power erodes our moral sentiments and civility, causing us to act in ways that ultimately undermine the trust and esteem we once earned.

Narrator: The book doesn't just examine the powerful; it also sheds light on the profound and damaging effects of powerlessness. To be powerless is to live in an environment of continual threat, which triggers a state of chronic stress. This isn't just a feeling; it's a biological reality.

The constant vigilance required of those with less power—whether due to poverty, discrimination, or social status—activates the body's stress response system, flooding it with the hormone cortisol. While useful in short bursts, chronic cortisol elevation is toxic. It damages the immune system, impairs cognitive function, and accelerates aging. Keltner shares his personal experience growing up on Kayo Drive, a poor rural street where he witnessed neighbors battling chronic illness, depression, and addiction. At the time, he saw them as individual tragedies. He later realized they were symptoms of a larger pattern: the physical price of powerlessness. Neuroscientists have even found that by age eleven, the brains of children from poorer families are about 5 percent smaller than those of their wealthier peers, with suppressed growth in areas crucial for reasoning and stress regulation. Powerlessness robs people of their health, their cognitive potential, and ultimately, their ability to make a difference in the world.

Narrator: To escape the power paradox, Keltner proposes a "fivefold path" of conscious practice. First is awareness: recognizing the feeling of power not as a license for self-indulgence, but as a signal that you are equipped to make a difference. Second is humility: remembering that power is a gift from others and can be taken away. This involves being critical of your own work and welcoming feedback.

Third is to stay focused on others and give. Generosity—of time, resources, or respect—is the most direct path to enduring power because it empowers the entire network. Fourth is to practice respect. Treating others with dignity is a fundamental way to prevent the abuses of power. Finally, we must work to change the psychological context of powerlessness. This means actively challenging the societal structures like inequality, racism, and stigma that devalue people. It involves creating systems where everyone has the opportunity to contribute and be esteemed for it. This path isn't easy, but it offers a way to wield influence responsibly and for the greater good.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from The Power Paradox is that true, lasting power is rooted in a focus on others. The Machiavellian pursuit of self-interest is a fragile strategy that ultimately leads to social isolation and a fall from grace. The most enduring influence comes from empathy, generosity, and respect—the very qualities that power itself threatens to erode.

Keltner leaves us with a profound challenge: to redefine our relationship with power. Instead of asking how we can get more of it for ourselves, we should ask how we can use the influence we have to empower those around us. How can you, in your daily life, make someone else feel seen, valued, and capable of making their own difference in the world? Answering that question is the first step to outsmarting the paradox and building a more just and compassionate society.