Michelle: The worst advice for public speaking? ‘Be yourself.’ Mark: Whoa, hold on. That’s the first thing everyone says! ‘Just be you!’ You’re saying that’s wrong? Michelle: It’s a trap. It’s vague, unhelpful, and often leads to us just presenting the most nervous, unfiltered version of ourselves. Today, we’re exploring a much more powerful idea: that the secret to being more authentic and confident in high-stakes moments might actually be to… act. Mark: Okay, ‘act’ to be authentic? That sounds like a complete paradox. You've definitely got my attention. What are we diving into? Michelle: We're talking about the book Steal the Show: From Speeches to Job Interviews to Deal-Closing Pitches, How to Guarantee a Standing Ovation for All the Performances in Your Life by Michael Port. Mark: Michael Port. I think I’ve heard that name. Michelle: You probably have. He’s a New York Times bestselling author, but what's fascinating about him is that he's not your typical business guru. He was a professional actor—you might have seen him in shows like Sex and the City or Law & Order—who then translated the secrets of the stage into a framework for success in boardrooms, job interviews, and everyday life. Mark: An actor teaching business skills. That’s an unusual resume. It also explains the title, "Steal the Show." But I have to come back to my first point. The whole idea of ‘performing’ in a job interview feels… slimy. Isn't it just a fancy word for being fake? Michelle: That is the perfect question, and it’s the exact misconception this book is designed to dismantle. Port argues that we are always performing. The choice isn’t whether to perform, but whether to give a good performance or a bad one.

Mark: I’m still struggling with that. When I’m at a party, I’m just being me. I’m not putting on a show. Michelle: Are you sure? Port gives this great example of being at his boss's holiday party. He’s standing by the pool, trying to look cool and thoughtful, sipping a drink. He’s consciously projecting an image. He’s performing. We do this all the time. The way you talk to your boss is different from how you talk to your best friend, which is different from how you talk to your grandmother. You’re not being inauthentic in each case; you’re just emphasizing different, but equally real, parts of your personality to fit the role the situation requires. Mark: Okay, I can see that. It’s like different social roles. But Port takes it a step further, right? He’s talking about high-stakes situations. Michelle: Exactly. He tells this incredible story from his own life that really makes it click. After he retired from acting, he applied for a corporate job. On paper, he was completely unqualified. He had zero corporate experience. Mark: So he was dead in the water. Michelle: You’d think so. But in the interview, he didn’t pretend to have experience he didn't. Instead, he used his acting skills to play the role of a confident, capable problem-solver who could bring a unique perspective. He acknowledged his different background but framed it as a strength. He acted ‘as if’ he already belonged there. And he got the job. Mark: Wow. But isn't that just good salesmanship? Where's the line between playing a role and just… lying? Michelle: That’s the critical distinction. He wasn't lying about his past. He was performing the truth of his potential. He was creating the reality he wanted, both for himself and for the employer. Acting, in Port’s view, isn't about being phony. He quotes the legendary acting teacher Lee Strasberg, who said an actor's work is about the ability to consistently create and express reality. It’s about being more honest, more real, and more intentional. Mark: More honest by acting. My brain is still twisting a little. It’s like that old Shakespeare line, "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players." I always thought that was a bit cynical, like we’re all just fakes. Michelle: And Port reframes it as something incredibly empowering. It means you get to choose your character. You get to write your own script. You’re not a passive victim of your circumstances or your nerves; you are the lead actor in your own life. When you see it that way, performance becomes a tool for agency, not for deception. Mark: Okay, I think I’m starting to get the mindset shift. It’s not about putting on a mask, it’s about choosing which face—which authentic part of you—to show the world. But I have to be honest, in the moment, when my heart is pounding before a big presentation, thinking 'All the world's a stage' feels a little abstract. How do you actually do it? Michelle: That’s the bridge to the second part of the book. Once you have the mindset, you need the operating principles. The practical tools.

Mark: Yes, please. Give me the tools. What do I do when my palms are sweating and my voice is shaking? Michelle: Port offers a few, but two are absolute game-changers. The first is the one he used in his job interview: Act “As if . . . ” Mark: Like, fake it 'til you make it? Michelle: It’s a bit more profound than that. "Fake it 'til you make it" implies you're being fraudulent. "Act as if" is an imagination technique. You ask yourself, "How would a confident, brilliant speaker deliver this presentation?" And then you embody that. You stand like they would. You speak with the conviction they would have. You use your imagination to step into a more powerful version of yourself. Mark: So you’re borrowing confidence from a future version of yourself? Michelle: Precisely. And it’s not just about confidence. The book tells the story of a woman named Joni Zander, who was terrified of public speaking. She was getting married and was convinced she would just sob uncontrollably through her vows in front of everyone. Mark: Oh, that’s a nightmare scenario. The pressure is immense. Michelle: Immense. But she had taken one of Port’s public speaking programs. So, at the altar, she didn't just try to "be herself"—her terrified self. She acted as if she were a person who could express her love clearly and beautifully. She played the role of the confident, articulate bride. And because she did, she was able to deliver her vows with grace and power. She didn't suppress her emotion; she channeled it through a stronger character. Mark: That’s a really powerful example. It’s not about not feeling the fear, it’s about performing despite it. Okay, so that’s "Act As If." What’s the second principle? Michelle: The second one is even simpler, and it comes from the world of improvisational theater. It’s: Say “Yes, and . . . ” Mark: I’ve heard this one in the context of comedy. How does it apply here? Michelle: Port argues it’s a principle for creativity, collaboration, and problem-solving in any part of life. Think about a typical brainstorming meeting. Someone throws out a wild idea, and immediately someone else says, "No, that'll never work because..." or "But we don't have the budget for that." The energy just dies. The idea is killed on the spot. Mark: I have been in that exact meeting a thousand times. It’s soul-crushing. One person becomes the designated dream-killer. Michelle: Exactly. That’s the "No, but..." mindset. "Yes, and..." is the opposite. It means you accept what the other person has offered (the "Yes") and you build on it (the "and"). Even if the initial idea is flawed, you find the useful part and add to it. Mark: It’s like building with LEGOs. A "No" is like knocking the whole tower over. A "Yes, and..." is adding another brick, even if you’re going to steer the tower in a new direction. Michelle: That is a perfect analogy. And it’s not just for group work. It’s for our internal dialogue. When you face a challenge, like your presentation slides suddenly not working, your brain’s first instinct might be to say "No! This is a disaster! I can't do it." Mark: My brain’s first, second, and third instinct. Michelle: Right? But the "Yes, and..." approach would be: "Yes, the slides are gone, and this is an opportunity for me to connect more directly with the audience." Or "Yes, this is terrifying, and I have rehearsed this enough to know the material by heart." It accepts the reality of the situation and immediately pivots to a constructive next step. The book mentions an astronaut who used this mindset to save a mission. When faced with overwhelming fear and system failures, the thought process was always, "Yes, this is broken, and here's what we can try next." It’s a forward-moving, possibility-creating machine. Mark: That’s fascinating. It turns a problem from a wall into a door. It’s a simple phrase, but it completely reframes your relationship with the unexpected. Michelle: It’s a fundamental shift from being a critic to being a performer, a creator. Port is adamant about this. He says you can be a critic or a performer, but you can’t be both. Critics tear things down. Performers build things up.

Mark: You know, putting it all together, it feels like the book’s message is much deeper than just ‘public speaking tips.’ It’s a philosophy. It’s not about becoming a different person. It’s about having the tools to access the best version of yourself on demand. Michelle: Exactly. And Port's ultimate point, which I think is so crucial, is that these aren't just 'tricks.' They are a form of training. There's a saying often used in the military and other high-performance fields: 'Under pressure, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall back on your training.' Mark: I love that. It’s so true. You do what you’ve practiced. Michelle: And this book is about giving you that training for the high-stakes performances of your life. Whether it’s asking for a raise, nailing a pitch, or having a difficult conversation. The rehearsal, the mindset, the principles—that’s your training. So when the spotlight hits, you have something to fall back on besides fear. Mark: It’s a really compelling framework. And it’s interesting how it’s been received. The book is a massive bestseller, but some readers find Port’s confidence, his whole ‘steal the show’ persona, a little bit much. But hearing you break it down, it seems the confidence he projects is the very thing he’s teaching. He’s living the principles. Michelle: He is absolutely playing the role of the master performer, and it works. It gives the advice a sense of authority and proof. So, as a takeaway for our listeners, here’s a simple experiment based on the book. Mark: An action step. Let’s hear it. Michelle: The next time you feel that flicker of self-doubt before doing something—anything, big or small—just for one minute, consciously try to act 'as if.' Act as if you have the confidence you need. Act as if you are the person who can handle this with ease. Don’t worry about feeling it. Just do it. See what happens to your posture, your voice, your mindset. Mark: That’s a great, low-stakes way to test it. I’m going to try that before our next recording session. And we'd love to hear how that goes for all of you listening. What happens when you try to 'Act As If' for a moment? Share your stories with us on our social channels. It's a fascinating experiment in self-creation. Michelle: It truly is. It’s about realizing you’re the director, writer, and star of your own show. Mark: A powerful thought to end on. Michelle: This is Aibrary, signing off.