Narrator: A woman named Ingrid walks into a travel agency, her shoulders tight with stress. She tells the agent, Sheldon, that she desperately needs a vacation to escape the "tension" at her office. She uses words like "feel," "unwind," and "pamper." Sheldon, seeing an easy sale, immediately pulls out a brochure. He paints a picture of "brilliant turquoise" water and "cute villas," focusing entirely on the visual appeal of the trip. But as he speaks, Ingrid’s heart sinks. The more he describes how beautiful the place looks, the further away she feels from the relaxing escape she craves. She leaves without booking, and Sheldon is left confused. What went wrong?

This disconnect, a common failure in human interaction, is precisely what Nicholas Boothman deconstructs in his book, Making People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. He argues that the ability to forge an instant connection isn't a magical gift but a learnable skill, built on a foundation of observable cues and deliberate techniques that can transform our personal and professional lives.

Narrator: Before any words are spoken, the foundation for connection is laid by one’s internal state. Boothman asserts that the single most powerful tool in our arsenal is a "Really Useful Attitude." This is a conscious choice to be open, enthusiastic, curious, and genuinely interested in the other person. It’s a mindset that precedes you into any interaction and broadcasts a message of warmth and safety.

He illustrates this with the story of Joanne, a bank teller. For eight years, the author remained a loyal customer at a bank that offered no special advantages over its competitors. The reason was Joanne. While other tellers were impersonal, Joanne greeted every customer with a genuine smile and an attitude that made them feel valued. Her positive energy was infectious, creating a welcoming environment for customers and a more pleasant workplace for her colleagues. Joanne’s "Really Useful Attitude" didn't cost a cent, yet it created immense value, turning a mundane transaction into a positive human interaction and ensuring customer loyalty. This attitude is the first step in the greeting process Boothman outlines: Open your body and attitude, make Eye contact, Beam a sincere smile, say "Hi," and Lean in slightly to signal interest.

Narrator: Boothman draws on the influential research of Professor Albert Mehrabian, which found that the believability of a message is determined by three factors, with wildly different weights. Only 7% of a message's impact comes from the verbal component, the actual words used. A much larger 38% comes from the vocal component, the tone, pitch, and rhythm of your voice. And a staggering 55% comes from the visual component: your body language.

The critical lesson here is not just that body language is important, but that all three "V's"—Visual, Vocal, and Verbal—must be in alignment. Boothman calls this congruity. When your words say one thing but your body and tone say another, people will almost always believe the non-verbal cues. This is illustrated in the story of Rosa, a waitress looking to buy a computer. The salesman, Tony, initially builds great rapport with open, sincere body language. But when Rosa asks if the computer is new, his demeanor instantly changes. He claims it is, but his hands clench, he avoids eye contact, and his voice falters. Rosa, sensing the incongruity, trusts his defensive gestures over his words and walks out of the store. The sale was lost not because of what Tony said, but because his body told a different, more believable story.

Narrator: While rapport can happen by chance when we meet someone with similar interests, Boothman argues that we don't have to leave it to luck. We can create "rapport by design" through a process called synchronizing, or mirroring. This involves subtly matching another person's body language, posture, gestures, and vocal tone. This isn't about mimicry or being phony; it's about accelerating the natural process of connection by creating a subconscious feeling of familiarity and likeness.

Boothman shares a personal story of encountering a neighbor at a ski chalet. They had only ever shared polite nods, but Boothman decided to intentionally build rapport. As the neighbor approached, Boothman stood and mirrored his tight-lipped smile, his body stance, and his tone of voice. When the neighbor put a hand on his hip and pointed out the window, Boothman did the same. The entire synchronized interaction lasted less than 30 seconds. The result? The neighbor, feeling an inexplicable sense of connection, invited Boothman and his family over for dinner. He likely thought, "There's something about this guy I really like, but I'm not sure what it is." That "something" was the powerful, subconscious effect of synchrony.

Narrator: Beyond attitude and body language, Boothman introduces a deeper level of connection derived from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): sensory preferences. People primarily filter and experience the world through one of three senses: Visual (sight), Auditory (sound), or Kinesthetic (feeling/touch). Recognizing a person's dominant preference allows you to speak their "language."

This is powerfully demonstrated by the story of Barbara, a flooring store owner who attended one of Boothman's seminars. The next day, she put the theory into practice. When a couple came in, she listened carefully to their words. The wife used visual language, saying things like, "I can't picture that in our living room." The husband, however, used kinesthetic language, like, "I'm not sure how that would feel." Recognizing this, Barbara handed the husband a carpet sample and said, "Why don't you get a feel for this?" By appealing to his kinesthetic preference, she made an instant connection. She sold carpet to five out of five customers that morning simply by tuning into their sensory language. This also explains what went wrong with Sheldon the travel agent. His customer, Ingrid, was kinesthetic—she wanted to feel relaxed. Sheldon, however, gave her a purely visual pitch, creating a total disconnect.

Narrator: Creating rapport in 90 seconds is a powerful skill, but it's only useful if the other person remembers you later. Boothman stresses the importance of giving people a "handle"—a unique characteristic that sets you apart and makes you memorable. In a world of fleeting interactions, a memorable image or persona helps your name stick in someone's mind.

He tells the story of a salesperson friend from Newfoundland, Canada. The friend found that customers he spent time with would often return to the store and buy from a different salesperson because they couldn't remember him. To solve this, he developed a simple but brilliant strategy. At the end of an interaction, he would tell the customer, "When you come back, just ask for the 'Newfie'." In Canada, "Newfie" is a colloquial and sometimes stereotypical term for someone from Newfoundland. By embracing this unique identifier, he gave customers an easy, memorable handle. His sales increased because people remembered him and asked for him by name—or rather, by his memorable persona.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Making People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is that human connection is not an accident of chemistry but a deliberate, learnable skill. It’s a craft built on the pillars of a chosen attitude, congruent body language, intentional synchrony, and a deep sensitivity to how others experience the world. Boothman demystifies rapport, breaking it down into a series of practical, actionable steps that anyone can master.

The book’s real-world impact lies in its empowerment. It shifts the locus of control from external chance to internal choice, giving you the tools to build bridges in any situation. The most challenging idea is also the most liberating: you are responsible for the connections you make. So, the next time you meet someone new, will you leave that critical first impression to chance, or will you design it?