Autumn: Alright, welcome to the podcast! Let's jump right in. Ever feel totally overwhelmed by things you just can't control? Like that awful traffic, a coworker who's clearly had too much coffee, or even just the weather messing up your weekend? It's a real battle to stay calm. Rachel: Exactly! And then someone always chimes in with that brilliant advice, "Oh, just let it go!" Easy for them to say, right? Practically impossible to actually do without sounding like you've joined some sort of meditation retreat. Which, I'm guessing, is where Stoicism comes in? Autumn: Precisely! Today we're diving into How to Be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci. He really modernizes this ancient philosophy, which is all about resilience, rationality, and living a virtuous life. Pigliucci shows us how to tune out all the distractions, focus on what truly matters, and handle whatever life throws our way with grace and, you know, skill. Rachel: So, you're saying ancient Romans had figured out how not to lose it over a bad day? Color me skeptical. What exactly are we going to unpack here? Autumn: We'll explore three key takeaways. First, the dichotomy of control – a liberating idea where you only put your energy into what you can actually influence. Second, how grounding your life in virtue and logic leads to a much more meaningful existence. And third, practical steps you can take to build emotional resilience – think of it as a mental workout to handle the chaos. Rachel: Okay, I’m intrigued. Ancient wisdom meets modern life hacks, sprinkled with a bit of philosophy – hopefully with less toga talk than I'm anticipating. Let's get into this whole Stoicism thing, then.

Autumn: So, about Stoicism, let's dive into its core: the dichotomy of control. This is “really” where Stoicism shines. It’s a foundational concept that distinguishes between what we can control and what we can't. It sounds simple, but it has profound implications for how we handle tough situations. Rachel: Okay, so is this like when people say, "control the controllables"? I’ve heard that phrase in sports and therapy, all sorts of places. Autumn: Exactly! The dichotomy of control is about realizing that our thoughts, actions, and decisions are ours to manage, while external things – like other people's opinions, the weather, or a delayed flight – aren't. Once you accept that, you stop wasting energy on what you can't influence, right? Rachel: Alright, so by doing that, you magically find inner peace? I'm curious, what proof is there that this works in practice, not just on paper? Autumn: Well, Massimo Pigliucci tells a great story in his book about a flight to Gatwick Airport. His plane had to abort its landing because another plane was on the runway. Pretty scary, isn't it? Rachel: Yeah, my palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it. So what does a Stoic do in that situation? Just sit there calmly in a state of existential dread? Autumn: Here's the brilliant part: Instead of panicking – which would be understandable – Pigliucci stayed calm by focusing on what he could control. He can't fly the plane, right? And he can’t control air traffic. But he could control his mindset and how he supported the other passengers. It’s a crucial reminder that in moments of crisis, our power lies in our reactions, not in trying to control what we can't. Rachel: I'll admit, that's impressive. It reminds me a bit of the Serenity Prayer – changing what you can, accepting what you can't. But isn't it a bit naive? Shouldn't we be trying to influence things instead of just passively accepting life’s problems? Autumn: Ah, but here’s the thing—Stoicism isn’t about being passive, it’s about channeling your energy strategically. You focus on the aim, not just the result. Rachelus Aurelius and Cicero both use this great metaphor about an archer. You train for years, right? You choose the best bow, perfect your technique, and release the arrow. But once it's in flight, external things – wind, rain, whatever – decide where it lands. The Stoic doesn't stop aiming carefully; they just know the outcome isn’t entirely up to them. Rachel: So, blame the wind, not the archer? Autumn: Exactly, but here's where it gets transformative: by focusing on what you control, you actually increase your chances of success. You're less stressed about how things will turn out and more focused on doing your best. It’s a balancing act of effort and acceptance. Rachel: Okay, but what about real-world situations? Metaphors are nice, but most people aren’t archers, they’re office workers or parents. How does this apply to, say, someone in a high-pressure sales job? Autumn: Good example. Imagine a salesperson preparing for a big presentation. They can control how well they know the material and how they structure their pitch. What they can't control is whether the client is in a bad mood or if the tech fails during their presentation. By embracing the dichotomy of control, they focus on delivering their best without worrying about uncontrollable factors. Rachel: So, less attachment to the results, more confidence in the process. But does this lead to perfectionism? If you're too focused on what you can do, could you drive yourself crazy trying to perfect every tiny detail? Autumn: That's a fair concern, but Stoicism isn't about obsessive control. It actually has exercises to help you prepare for when things go wrong. One of these is premeditatio malorum, which means "premeditation of evils." You mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios – what if the projector fails, the client disagrees, or the meeting is delayed? When you visualize these problems, you’re not panicking; you’re preparing your emotional response so you can handle them calmly. Rachel: So, you're basically playing disaster dress-up in your head before the real disaster? Sounds a little morbid, but I get the point. If you've already imagined the worst, you won't be caught off guard when it happens. How do you balance that, though, so you don't spiral into doomsday thinking? Autumn: By focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on the negatives. Let’s look at Pigliucci's story about body image. As a kid, he was teased about his weight – something largely determined by his genetics and childhood. Instead of dwelling on what he couldn't change, he focused on what he could: better nutrition and consistent exercise. The dichotomy of control allowed him to take charge by recognizing where he had agency, see? Rachel: Body image is tough because it’s so personal. I like how that brings Stoicism from theory into something relatable. But does it always work? What’s the catch? Autumn: The tension is that many people resist this philosophy because they think it promotes detachment. But it’s not about indifference, it’s about prioritizing. Take relationships, for example. Stoicism reminds us that we can’t control how others behave, like our kids breaking rules or our partners reacting unexpectedly. We can only control the love we give, the boundaries we set, and the support we provide. Rachel: Honestly, that sounds like parenting advice! Do your best, and let the chips fall where they may. Autumn: Exactly! And some Stoics take this to the extreme. Paconius Agrippinus, for instance, learned he was about to be executed, but he didn’t despair or try to bargain for his life. Instead, he calmly went about his day, exercising and dining as if nothing was happening. His logic? His execution wasn’t in his control, so why waste his last hours worrying about something he couldn’t change? Rachel: Well, that’s… chilling. But also kind of remarkable how he turned the worst possible situation into something composed.

Autumn: So, understanding this “dichotomy” naturally leads us to how Stoics applied it in daily life through ethical action. Which brings us to another core Stoic idea: living according to nature and virtue. It’s really where theory meets practice. Bridging these abstract ideas of rationality and resilience with tangible actions, both personally and in society. It’s all about aligning yourself with a life of purpose, integrity, and really, interconnectedness. Rachel: Living according to nature AND virtue? Wow. That almost sounds… poetic. Are we talking about tree-hugging and, you know, meditating in the forest here? Or is this idea more… abstract? Autumn: Well, to the Stoics, "nature" means more than just the natural world. It’s also about knowing your own nature as a rational, as a social being. So, living according to nature, for them, means using reason to guide your actions and making choices that align with virtues like wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. It’s not about self-indulgence or chasing fleeting pleasures, but cultivating a life of meaning and really contributing to the greater good. Rachel: Okay, so you’re saying we should lean into reason and… give up chasing shallow goals. I see. But what's the real goal here? Just to be virtuous for virtue's sake? Autumn: That’s a “great” question. The Stoics believed that true fulfillment, or what they called “eudaimonia,” comes from living virtuously. Meaning making choices that align with reason and the common good. Now, not because someone’s watching or you want applause, but because it’s a natural expression of who you are as a rational, ethical human. Fulfillment isn’t a high paycheck or material gain—it’s about leading a life of depth and purpose. Rachel: Well that all sounds very noble, but also a bit... lofty, doesn't it? I mean, say you're stuck in reality. Commuting, bills, family obligations, the whole nine yards. How do you inject philosophical virtue into, say, a Monday morning staff meeting? Autumn: It starts with how you see yourself in relation to others. Stoics, like Hierocles, use this concept of "concentric circles of concern." You start with yourself at the center, then radiate outward—family, community, humanity as a whole. Living virtuously means shrinking the gap between those circles and recognising how interconnected we all are. For Hierocles, that meant reframing strangers as "brothers" and "sisters," to foster empathy and remind us of our shared humanity. Rachel: So, it’s all Kumbaya, everyone’s-family vibes? Sounds a bit idealistic for the modern world, doesn’t it? Autumn: Well, it's more than an ideal; it's really a call to action. Take something as mundane as teamwork. Say you’re part of a group project, and one of your teammates is falling behind. You could ignore it and just prioritize your own success, but a Stoic would act out of justice and social responsibility—offering support, even at a personal cost, because it fosters trust and collective flourishing. It’s less about short-term gain and more about, well, ethical momentum. Rachel: Ethical momentum, huh? Interesting turn of phrase. So you're saying that by helping one person, you create this… ripple effect of goodwill? Autumn: Exactly! Think about how that one act of stepping in could transform the team dynamic. It builds trust, it encourages collaboration, and sets an example that inspires others to act ethically. It's not just about fixing an immediate issue; it's about shaping a culture that values fairness and mutual respect. Rachel: Okay, devil's advocate here, doesn't this all sound exhausting? Always trying to live for others, always thinking about "the greater good." When do you get to prioritize, well, you? Autumn: Stoicism doesn't disregard self-care—in fact, it emphasises that your well-being is tied to the well-being of others. Rachelus Aurelius used this analogy: just as a hand or foot can't function apart from the body, humans can't truly thrive in isolation. Your fulfillment is interwoven with how ethically, how responsibly you engage with the world around you. Rachel: So, basically, we’re all limbs in this big collective body. Can’t function without each other. But is there any room for individual ambition in this framework? Or does Stoicism just erase– poof – personal goals? Autumn: Stoicism doesn't oppose ambition—it just asks you to define it differently. Instead of chasing, you know, fame or wealth, ambition becomes about cultivating virtues, like wisdom, and courage. It's not about avoiding success, but ensuring that your pursuit of it doesn't compromise your values, or harm others. For example, imagine climbing the corporate ladder, but instead of stepping on said colleagues to get ahead, you build trust and camaraderie. It's not less ambitious; it's just a more ethical kind of ambition. Rachel: Fair enough. But say you're in a high-stakes environment, like competitive sports, or corporate sales... Doesn't Stoicism’s focus on rationality and virtue clash with those cutthroat tactics often rewarded in those fields? Autumn: Not really. There’s a great Stoic mindset shift here: you redefine ‘success’ itself. Instead of fixating on whether you win the game or close the deal, focus on playing to the best of your ability and upholding your integrity throughout. Results are not entirely within your control; effort and virtue are, that's why it's called "living according to nature"—you follow the natural laws of reason, not the artificial ones of cutthroat competition. Rachel: And what happens when those natural laws feel at odds with how the modern world operates? I mean, we’re not living in the Roman Empire. Collaboration’s great, but doesn’t society often reward the opposite—greed, selfishness, even… dishonesty? Autumn: That’s where Stoicism becomes revolutionary. It's a quiet rebellion against those societal pressures. By aligning with reason and virtue, you actually become less vulnerable to external validation or trends. You develop an inner compass that prioritises what truly matters over what's momentarily rewarded. It's about resilience—not swimming against the current of the sake of it, but standing firm when the current tries to push you away from your principles. Rachel: That’s bold, but also… not easy. I can see why ancient Stoics were treated as philosophical badasses, then. So what's the most counterintuitive insight about this whole “living according to nature” approach? Autumn: Oh, great question. I think it's this: personal fulfillment genuinely doesn’t compete with social responsibility—they’re inseparable. In a culture that prizes individualism, Stoicism says, "No, actually humans are wired for interconnectedness.” Selfish living fragments you, but engaging ethically with others creates harmony, not just for society but for yourself. It’s about flourishing as part of the whole, not apart from it. Rachel: Flourishing on collective terms, not just personal ones. That's a pretty radical takeaway, isn't it? If only Twitter, you know, could summarize things half as well…

Autumn: Absolutely! When we use virtue as our compass, Stoic practices for building emotional resilience and practicing mindfulness become incredibly useful. Now, let's talk about how this plays out in the real world. The beauty of Stoicism isn't just theoretical; it's exceptionally adaptable. What we're focusing on today is "Practical Applications and Modern Relevance," and we’ll explore how these principles apply across centuries to meet our current challenges. From the resilience of prisoners of war to breakthroughs in mental health, Stoicism offers a toolkit for leadership, personal growth, and dealing with life’s ups and downs. Rachel: So, we’re going from ancient wisdom to modern-day problems—sounds like a fascinating journey. Alright, where do we start? Autumn: Let's start with negative visualization, or premeditatio malorum. It's one of the most powerful tools the Stoics used: mentally preparing for the worst-case scenarios. But it's not about obsessively focusing on everything negative; it's about training ourselves to be more resilient. You envision potential setbacks to lessen their impact and to increase your appreciation for what you currently have. Rachel: So basically, it’s like you're preparing for the worst so you're not blindsided. Sounds... enjoyable. But how does someone actually put this into practice, like, when they’re expecting bad news at work? Autumn: Imagine you're waiting for critical feedback on a major project. Instead of just feeling anxious and dwelling on every possible mistake, you intentionally think about constructive criticism, maybe even rejection. The goal? To prepare yourself emotionally so that, if it happens, it doesn't feel like a complete shock. And this exercise not only builds resilience but also broadens your perspective, helping you concentrate on how to improve in the future. Rachel: Right, so if you’re prepared for the worst, any bad news feels less devastating. But, you know, people might accuse you of being a pessimist. Like, why would you spend your time thinking about what could go wrong? Autumn: Well, that's where the brilliance lies! This isn’t about being gloomy; it's about gaining clarity. By facing potential losses or challenges in your mind, you start to realize how temporary or manageable they actually are. This reduces panic and reminds you of what's good in your life, which fosters gratitude alongside resilience. Rachel: Okay, so it's like a package deal—disaster preparedness combined with a silver lining. Got it. Is that similar to what James Stockdale did? You know, the Navy officer who was a POW during the Vietnam War? Autumn: Exactly. Stockdale is a perfect example of a modern Stoic. As a prisoner, he couldn't control his captors or the torture he received, but he could control his mindset. He practiced the dichotomy of control, concentrating on how he could maintain morale for himself and the other prisoners. This resilience, rooted in Stoicism, allowed him to endure seven long years. Rachel: That's some serious mental strength. But here’s the thing: can this philosophy work in less extreme, everyday situations? Because, let's be real, most of us aren't dealing with that level of adversity. Autumn: Let's bring it down a notch then. Consider Andrew Overby, who is mentioned in the book. He struggled with depression, feeling overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. But when he started applying Stoic concepts—specifically focusing on what he could control, like his thoughts and actions—it changed his whole outlook. Practices like daily reflection helped him stop dwelling on things he couldn't control, and ultimately, gave him a sense of purpose and stability. Rachel: Depression’s a tough one. So, Stoicism isn't just about quick fixes; it’s more like a continuous framework. I appreciate that it doesn’t promise instant results—it seems more like rewiring your emotional responses. Autumn: Exactly, that rewiring happens through consistent practices. Take daily reflection, for example. Seneca advocated for reviewing your day before bed. Asking questions like, Did I handle frustrations with patience? Did I act with virtue today? creates a feedback loop for continuous growth. Rachel: Sounds a bit like self-help. But does it ever turn into a spiral of negative self-criticism? What if someone spends their reflection time just beating themselves up for making mistakes? Autumn: That's why Stoicism emphasizes honesty without judgment. It's not about perfection, it's about learning. You analyze where you can improve, and you also acknowledge your small victories. Think of it as reviewing game film: it's constructive, not critical. Rachel: Okay, but beyond personal growth, how do we apply these concepts to the outside world? Can Stoicism help us become, you know, better neighbors or better global citizens? Autumn: That's where the "Circles of Concern" come in, an idea originated by the Stoic Hierocles. Imagine concentric circles around yourself—the innermost circle is you, then your family, then friends, then your community, and so on, expanding to include all of humanity. The goal is to broaden your focus beyond yourself, closing the gap between those circles by treating everyone—even strangers—as part of your ethical sphere. Rachel: Let me guess, this is where we all start calling each other "brother" and "sister.” Autumn: <Laughs> not quite! But reframing your relationships is transformative. Take someone who is, say, a fierce competitor in your industry. A Stoic looks beyond the rivalry and sees shared struggles and common humanity. Viewing everyone through this lens cultivates empathy and ethical responsibility, encouraging cooperation instead of conflict. Rachel: That's idealistic—and pretty contrary to how capitalism works. Does it really work when the world thrives on competition? Autumn: Hierocles wasn't trying to do away with competition, but to redefine its terms. By focusing on mutual benefit, rather than zero-sum outcomes, you don't have to sacrifice ethics for success. Trust me, ethical action builds long-term progress. Think of it as a long game—not every reward is immediate, but it’s lasting. Rachel: Alright, one last question: How does a Stoic remain so calm? Nobody’s really immune to emotional turmoil—it almost seems inhuman to keep all this rationality in place. Autumn: That’s where Stoicism might surprise you. It doesn’t tell you to suppress emotions, it invites you to manage them wisely. Take the concept of acceptance: To a Stoic, acceptance isn't giving up—it’s adjusting. Instead of running from pain or chasing fleeting highs, you align your perspective with virtue, to find balance. Rachel: So, grit combined with grace. Stoicism may be ancient, but its approach is certainly timeless. Whether it's Stockdale in captivity or Overby redefining his inner dialogue, it seems like we all need some kind of guiding principles for when life gets tough.

Autumn: Okay, so to bring it all together, we've really dug into how Stoicism gives us a way to handle life's chaos with strength and a sense of direction. The main thing is figuring out what we can actually influence and letting go of what we can't. Then, it's about living in line with nature and being a good person, using logic and caring about others to make the right choices. And those Stoic tools? Like thinking about what could go wrong or taking time to reflect each day? Still super useful for staying calm and growing as a person. Rachel: What “really” strikes me is how versatile Stoicism is. It's not just for philosophers from the past or, you know, heroes like Stockdale. It's for anyone dealing with everyday annoyances, intense pressure, or even those bigger questions about life. It kind of pushes us to rethink what we're aiming for, adjust how we react to things, and remember we're all connected. Autumn: Exactly. If you remember one thing, remember this: Stoicism isn't about pretending life is easy. It's about seeing the tough times as chances to learn, do what's right, and “really” live. So, whether you're facing a huge crisis or just a tough day at work, thinking like a Stoic can “really” help you stay grounded. Rachel: And maybe even make those caffeine-fueled mornings a bit more meaningful! So, to our listeners, the next time life gets crazy, just pause, think, and ask, "What can I actually do about this?" Autumn: Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for exploring "How to Be a Stoic" with us. Until next time, keep building your resilience, stay curious, and aim well!