Narrator: George was a successful businessman who ran his own advertising agency. He was energetic, creative, and valued his family time. He was also a great sleeper, reliably getting seven hours of rest a night. Then, his third child was born with colic. The frequent nighttime awakenings began to take a toll. Even after the baby started sleeping through the night, George found himself waking up at 3 a.m., his mind racing with work problems. To cope with the exhaustion, he started doing what seemed logical: he slept in on weekends, drove to work instead of biking to save energy, and drank more coffee. But his sleep only got worse. The very things he did to fix the problem were making it permanent. He was trapped in an insomnia spiral, and his well-intentioned efforts were tightening the knot.

This frustrating paradox is at the heart of End the Insomnia Struggle by psychologists Colleen Ehrnstrom and Alisha L. Brosse. The book provides a clear, evidence-based roadmap for understanding why common-sense solutions to sleeplessness often backfire and offers a powerful, integrated program to reclaim restorative sleep.

Narrator: The authors introduce the "3P Model" to explain how temporary sleep problems evolve into chronic insomnia. The model consists of Predisposing characteristics (the vulnerabilities you start with), Precipitating events (the initial trigger), and Perpetuating factors (what you do that keeps the problem going). While we can't change our predispositions or the events that trigger insomnia, the key to breaking the cycle lies in the perpetuating factors.

George’s story is a perfect illustration. His predisposing characteristics were his high energy and an overactive mind. The precipitating event was the birth of his colicky child. But the real problem was his perpetuating behaviors. By sleeping in on weekends, he disrupted his body’s internal clock. By drinking more caffeine, he increased his physiological arousal. By skipping his daily bike ride, he reduced his body's natural sleep drive. These actions, all aimed at solving his sleep problem, became the very fuel that sustained it. He was caught in a vicious cycle where his attempts to control sleep ended up controlling him. The book argues that this is the central tragedy for most insomniacs: the solution becomes the problem.

Narrator: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is the gold-standard treatment, proven to be more effective than medication in the long term. However, the authors observed that many clients failed to benefit from it for two opposing reasons. Some weren't strict enough to follow the program, while others were too rigid, turning the treatment into another source of anxiety. Success lies in a "sweet spot" of being both disciplined and flexible.

To help people find this balance, Ehrnstrom and Brosse integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with CBT-I. The core of ACT is "willingness"—the choice to accept discomfort in service of a larger goal. The authors use the metaphor of a Chinese finger trap. When your fingers are stuck, the instinct is to pull them apart, which only tightens the trap. The counterintuitive solution is to push your fingers inward, creating the slack needed to escape. Similarly, the struggle against insomnia—the desperate effort to force sleep—only increases arousal and makes sleep less likely. Willingness is the act of pushing in; it’s the choice to accept the short-term discomfort of the treatment program and the anxiety of a sleepless night to achieve the long-term goal of restorative sleep.

Narrator: To understand how to promote sleep, one must first understand its basic physiology. The book explains that sleep is regulated by two primary systems: the sleep drive and the internal body clock (circadian rhythm). The sleep drive is like hunger; it builds the longer you are awake. The body clock is like mealtime; it tells your body when it’s time to be sleepy. For healthy sleep, these two systems must be synchronized. Perpetuating behaviors, like napping or erratic wake-up times, throw these systems out of sync.

The authors offer a powerful analogy of learning to ski in the trees. A novice skier’s instinct is to stare at the trees to avoid hitting them, but this focus often leads them directly into an obstacle. An expert skier, however, focuses on the open spaces between the trees, and their body naturally follows that path. For insomniacs, the "trees" are the worries, the clock-watching, and the frustration. The "open spaces" are the healthy habits that promote sleep. The book’s program is designed to shift focus away from the problem of not sleeping and toward the process of creating the conditions for sleep to happen naturally.

Narrator: The backbone of the program consists of two powerful, evidence-based behavioral strategies. The first is Stimulus Control Therapy (SCT), designed to retrain the brain to strongly associate the bed with sleep. For many insomniacs, the bed has become a place of worry and wakefulness. The rules of SCT are simple but challenging: the bed is for sleep and sex only. If you are not asleep within about 20 minutes, you must get up, go to another room, and only return when you feel sleepy again. This breaks the mental connection between the bed and anxiety.

The second strategy is Sleep Restriction Therapy (SRT), which focuses on quality over quantity. It works by limiting your time in bed to the average number of hours you are actually sleeping. For example, if you spend eight hours in bed but only sleep for five, you would restrict your time in bed to five hours. This mild sleep deprivation builds a powerful sleep drive, consolidating your sleep and making it deeper and more efficient. As your sleep efficiency improves, you gradually earn back more time in bed. Combining these two therapies creates a potent intervention that addresses both the psychological and physiological drivers of insomnia.

Narrator: While behavioral changes are the foundation, the book also provides a suite of cognitive tools to manage the "busy mind" that plagues so many poor sleepers. These strategies are not about forcing positive thinking, but about changing one's relationship with their thoughts.

Cognitive Restructuring helps individuals identify, challenge, and replace distorted thoughts, such as catastrophizing ("If I don't sleep, I'll fail at my job tomorrow"). Designated Worry Time (DWT) is a technique where you schedule a specific, limited time during the day to worry, problem-solve, or plan. When those thoughts pop up at night, you can gently tell yourself, "I will deal with this tomorrow during my worry time," which helps contain the mental chatter. Finally, the book introduces mindfulness and cognitive defusion, which teach you to observe your thoughts without getting entangled in them. You learn to see thoughts as just words passing through your mind, not as absolute truths that demand a reaction.

Narrator: The ultimate goal of the program is not to create a perfect sleeper who follows rigid rules for life, but to develop a flexible, sustainable relationship with sleep. The authors emphasize the principle: "Sleep to live, don't live to sleep." Once sleep has improved, it's important to allow for flexibility. A late night with friends is a part of a rich life and shouldn't be a source of panic.

The key is to understand the difference between a "lapse" and a "relapse." A lapse is a temporary disruption—a bad night or two after a stressful week or a vacation. A relapse is when those perpetuating behaviors creep back in and the insomnia spiral begins again. By anticipating triggers, responding to lapses with the tools learned in the program, and not panicking, individuals can maintain their gains for the long term. The sleep log, once a daily requirement, becomes a tool to be used periodically for a quick check-in, especially when life becomes stressful.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from End the Insomnia Struggle is that the fight against sleeplessness is a battle that cannot be won through force. The desperate attempt to control sleep is precisely what gives it power. The authors brilliantly show that the path to restorative sleep is not through more effort, but through a counterintuitive process of willingness, acceptance, and letting go. By addressing the perpetuating behaviors and unhelpful thoughts, individuals can get out of their own way and allow their body’s natural sleep systems to take over.

The book’s most challenging and profound idea is that to finally sleep, you must first become willing not to sleep. This paradox requires a fundamental shift in perspective, moving from a nightly struggle for control to a long-term practice of nurturing the conditions for rest. It leaves the reader with a powerful question: What would change if you simply decided to drop the rope in your own tug-of-war with insomnia?