Michelle: The average career coach costs five hundred dollars an hour. Mark: Whoa. Okay, so that’s for CEOs and people who own yachts, right? Not for the rest of us. Michelle: Exactly. That means for most of us, professional career help is as accessible as a private jet. The authors of this book say that's a broken model. They argue the most powerful coach you'll ever have is already on your payroll: you. Mark: I like the sound of that. Cheaper, for one. But is my inner coach any good? Sometimes it just tells me to eat more pizza. Michelle: (Laughs) Well, that’s what we’re diving into today with the book You Coach You: How to Overcome Challenges and Take Control of Your Career by Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis. And what’s fascinating is that these aren't just writers; they're the founders of a company called 'Amazing If' and have held major leadership roles at places like Microsoft, Virgin, and BP. Mark: So they’ve been in the trenches of these big, complex organizations. Michelle: Precisely. Their whole mission started because they saw that modern careers are, in their words, "squiggly," not straight lines. And most of us are navigating these squiggles completely without a map. Mark: "Squiggly." I feel that in my soul. It sounds like a polite word for chaotic, unpredictable, and slightly terrifying. Why is the old career ladder officially dead?

Michelle: That's the perfect question, because it’s the entire foundation of their work. The traditional career ladder—this idea that you start at the bottom, climb rung by rung in one company or industry, and retire at the top—that model is an antique. It belongs in a museum next to the fax machine. Mark: And yet, it’s still the story we’re told. Go to school, get a good job, get promoted. It creates this immense pressure. Michelle: It does. But the reality is that people switch industries, they go freelance, they take career breaks, they build side hustles. The authors' own company, Amazing If, was born from this realization. They started a podcast and workshops to share practical career ideas, and in just one year, they reached over half a million people. It was a clear sign that everyone was feeling this 'squiggly' pain. Mark: Half a million people. That’s not a niche problem; that's a pandemic of career confusion. Michelle: It is. And it has real consequences. There's a Gallup study that found two-thirds of full-time workers experience burnout. A big part of that is feeling a lack of agency, of being stuck on a path you didn't choose and don't control. Mark: Okay, so the ladder is broken, we’re all squiggling, and we’re burning out. That’s a cheerful start. What’s the alternative? Just embrace the chaos? Michelle: This is where self-coaching comes in. Since most of us can't afford that $500-an-hour coach, we have to build the skills ourselves. The authors provide a really simple but powerful framework they call the COACH model. It’s an acronym: Clarity, Options, Action, Confidence, and Help. Mark: COACH. Okay, that’s memorable. So it’s a structured way to talk to yourself without just spiraling? Michelle: Exactly. It’s about moving from being a passive passenger in your career to being the driver. For example, 'Clarity' isn't about having a perfect 10-year plan. It's about asking, "What's the real problem here? What are the facts versus the fears?" Just that first step can be a game-changer. Mark: I can see that. My brain usually jumps straight to the worst-case scenario. The facts get left behind. But this all sounds very internal. How do you start to build that… inner coach? Especially when your inner voice is, let's be honest, often a total jerk.

Michelle: (Laughs) You’ve just perfectly described the 'inner critic,' and the book dives right into that. Your question, "How do you coach that?", is the central challenge. Their answer is that you don't silence the critic, you manage it. You treat skills like self-belief and resilience like muscles you can train. Mark: A muscle, I like that. It feels less like magic and more like work. But I’m skeptical. When you’re feeling like a total imposter, telling yourself "you can do it" feels hollow. Even Maya Angelou famously said, after writing her eleventh book, "Uh-oh, they’re going to find me out now." If she felt it, what hope is there for the rest of us? Michelle: That’s such a powerful point, and it shows how universal this feeling is. The book features an incredible story about this, about a woman named Lucy Gossage. She’s a cancer doctor—a highly rational, logical scientist. She’s also a triathlete. Mark: A doctor and a triathlete. Okay, so she’s already operating at a level most of us can’t imagine. Michelle: You’d think so. But in her races, she would consistently slow down to let other women she thought were better than her pass her. Her inner critic was literally sabotaging her physical performance. She described it as this irrational, deep-seated self-doubt. Mark: Wow. So her brain was fighting her body. What changed? Michelle: A friend, who happened to be a sports psychologist, gently nudged her. She told Lucy she needed to prepare her brain with the same rigor she prepared her body. So Lucy started working on her self-talk. She started challenging those negative thoughts, not just ignoring them. She trained her self-belief. Mark: And what happened? Michelle: She became an Ironman champion. Fourteen times. Mark: Fourteen times? That’s… insane. From letting people pass her to winning fourteen Ironmans? Michelle: Yes. And she says that building that mental skill had a positive impact on every other part of her life. She gained the confidence to go part-time as a doctor to pursue charity work and other passions. Her story is the ultimate proof that self-belief isn't something you’re born with. It’s a skill you build. Mark: That’s a much more hopeful way to look at it. It’s not about just 'being confident.' It's about practice. So what's a practical first step? What's one exercise from the book someone could do today to start training that muscle? Michelle: A great one is identifying your 'thinking traps.' These are negative assumptions we make. For example, a thinking trap might be: "I'm not qualified enough for that promotion." The book teaches you to reframe that into a 'positive prompt.' Mark: What does that sound like? Michelle: A positive prompt would be: "What skills could I develop to become qualified for that promotion?" Or, "Who could I talk to who has that job to understand the real requirements?" It shifts your brain from a dead end into a state of curiosity and action. It’s a small change in language, but it opens up entirely new possibilities. Mark: I like that. It’s not just blind optimism. It’s a practical question that forces you to look for solutions instead of dwelling on the problem. It turns you from a victim into a strategist. Michelle: Exactly. And once you've started managing your inner world, the next step is to start shaping your outer world. And surprisingly, that often begins with other people.

Mark: Ugh, networking. The word alone gives me anxiety. It feels so transactional and fake. "Let me buy you a coffee so you can help my career." It’s the worst. Michelle: (Laughs) I think everyone feels that way. But the book reframes this completely. It’s not about transactional networking; it's about building a genuine 'career community.' They have these three principles: Difference, Distance, and Donate. Mark: Okay, break those down for me. 'Difference' sounds straightforward—don't just talk to people who think like you. Michelle: Right. Avoid the echo chamber. 'Distance' is about nurturing both strong ties—your close work friends—and weak ties. That's based on Mark Granovetter's famous research showing that most people find jobs through acquaintances, not their best friends, because weak ties bring new information. Mark: That makes sense. Your best friends are in the same bubble. But what about 'Donate'? That sounds great, but who has the time to just give away their expertise for free? Michelle: This is the most counterintuitive part. It’s based on research by organizational psychologist Adam Grant, who found that in the long run, it's the 'givers,' not the 'takers,' who are the most successful. Givers build trust and a reputation for being helpful, which creates a powerful network of support that comes back to them later. It’s about playing the long game. Mark: So it’s an investment, not a cost. That’s a better frame. Can you give me an example of this in action? Someone who used their community to make a real career change? Michelle: Absolutely. The book tells the story of Eithne O’Leary, the President of an investment bank called Stifel. When she faces a complex problem, she uses what she calls the '10x Help' approach. She makes a list of ten different people—from different industries, with different backgrounds—and asks them all the same question. Mark: Ten people? That’s a lot of outreach. Michelle: It is, but it protects her from getting a single, biased perspective. It gives her a rich, 360-degree view of the problem, which leads to much better decisions. It’s a brilliant way to leverage a diverse community. Mark: Okay, I love that. It’s so strategic. It’s not just "asking for help," it's a system for gathering intelligence. Now, what about making a move when an opportunity doesn't even exist? That feels like the ultimate 'squiggly' challenge. Michelle: This is where the idea of 'prototyping' comes in. It’s about running small, low-risk experiments to test a career idea. One of the authors, Sarah, did this early in her career. She was on a graduate program at Boots, the UK retailer, where everyone had a fixed set of job rotations. Mark: The classic rigid corporate path. Michelle: Exactly. But she wanted more commercial experience than the program offered. So she did something no one else had done. She proactively contacted one of Boots' suppliers and pitched them an idea: what if they created a brand-new, temporary rotation role just for her, where she could work with them directly? Mark: That’s bold. I can imagine HR’s reaction to that. "That’s not how we do things here." Michelle: That’s what you’d expect! But she framed it as a win-win. She would gain the experience she needed, and Boots would strengthen its relationship with a key supplier. She prototyped a new possibility. And they said yes. She literally created her own career progression. Mark: That’s fantastic. It’s the perfect example of not waiting for an opportunity to be handed to you. It’s about seeing a gap and designing a solution. It’s a total mindset shift.

Michelle: It really is. And that brings all these ideas together. The world of work has changed. The stable, predictable career ladder is gone, and that can feel scary. But this book argues that the 'squiggly' career, while messy, is also full of opportunity if you have the right tools. Mark: Right. So it's not about finding a perfect, straight career path anymore. That ship has sailed. It's about building a personal toolkit—an internal compass to manage your mindset and an external support crew to help you navigate—so you can handle the inevitable twists and turns with confidence instead of fear. Michelle: You've got it. It’s about taking control of the one thing you can always control: yourself. Your reactions, your learning, your relationships. It’s about becoming your own career architect in a world where all the old blueprints are useless. Mark: It feels empowering rather than overwhelming when you put it like that. If you were to suggest one concrete action for our listeners to take away from this, what would it be? Michelle: Just start with one small thing from the book. Don't try to overhaul your entire life overnight. Maybe it's identifying one 'thinking trap' you fall into this week and consciously reframing it. Or maybe it's reaching out to one 'weak tie'—an old colleague or acquaintance—just to say hello and see what they're up to. A small prototype. Mark: I like that. One small, manageable step. And on that note, we'd love to hear from our listeners. What's the biggest 'thinking trap' you find yourself falling into? Is it self-doubt? Comparison? Let us know. Share it with the Aibrary community on our socials. It’s incredibly powerful to see you're not alone in these struggles. Michelle: A wonderful idea. The more we share, the more we realize we're all navigating our own squiggly paths together. This is Aibrary, signing off.