Alex: Hey everyone, welcome back! Today, we're diving into a book that “really” shifts how we think about success. It's Shiv Khera's You Can Win, and it's all about how success isn't just about hitting targets, but about personal growth. Michelle: “Personal growth”… Okay, so are we saying the secret is just, like, slapping on a grin and hoping for the best? I've seen enough motivational posters to know that doesn't always translate to real-world results, Alex. Alex: Hold on, Michelle! Khera goes much deeper than that. He says having a positive attitude is like wind filling a balloon, giving you lift, right? But here’s the thing, it isn't just about being positive. It's about mixing that with taking action, owning your responsibilities, and having a real vision of where you're going. Michelle: Alright, I’m listening. Is this one of those step-by-step self-help manuals, or more of a "feel-good" philosophy kind of thing? Alex: It’s a blend, actually. Khera mixes real-world tactics with stories that inspire, pushing us to link success with integrity and knowing your "why." We're going to unpack it all by focusing on three main ideas: First, how your attitude shapes your success. Second, how to stay on track when chasing those big goals. And third, the kind of impact we leave when acting with integrity. Michelle: Ambitious stuff, Alex! So, we're talking balloons, roadmaps, and leaving a legacy? Okay, I'm in. Let's see where this goes.

Alex: Okay, Michelle, so let's dive into the first pillar: The Power of Attitude. Basically, this is about setting the stage, showing that attitude is “really” the bedrock of growth, both personally and professionally. It's the foundation for everything else. Michelle: Alright, attitude as the bedrock. I get it. But, you know, every other motivational book out there says the same thing: a positive attitude is key. So, what makes Khera’s take on this any different or special? Alex: That's a great question, Michelle. Khera doesn't just drone on about positivity; he backs it up with solid evidence and stories we can all relate to. For example, he mentions a Harvard study that found 85% of success at work comes from attitude, with only 15% from skills and smarts. But here's the thing: we often flip that around, focusing on skills while kind of ignoring the mindset it takes to “really” succeed. Michelle: Wow, 85% is huge. So, Khera’s saying we can be the most skilled person in the room, but if we’ve got a bad attitude, we’re probably going to fail anyway? Alex: Exactly! And this leads to one of his key ideas: that success isn’t “really” about what you have, like status or money, but about who you are inside. He illustrates this “really” well with that story of the balloon seller. Remember? The seller releases balloons to attract kids, and when a little boy asks if a black balloon can float too, the seller says, "It's not about the color; it’s about what’s inside.” Michelle: Right, so the balloons are like us, and it's our values, our determination – what's inside – that determines whether we rise or stay grounded. I like that. But, let's be real, life isn't always a fairground. Aren't there situations where what's happening outside is more important than what's inside? Alex: Sure, you can't ignore external factors, but Khera says they’re secondary to your mindset. He’s not suggesting that positive thinking makes problems disappear, not at all. He’s saying that embracing the right attitude gives you a greater opportunity to navigate challenges. Think of it this way: two people lose their jobs. One falls apart, blaming everything else, while the other sees it as a chance to change direction or learn new skills. Their mindset — more than the job loss itself — determines how they’ll come out on the other side. Michelle: Okay, I get it. But, playing devil's advocate here, that sounds a little too "self-helpy." Not everyone has the time or energy to constantly reframe every negative experience, right? Alex: That's a fair point, Michelle. And Khera totally gets that it takes effort. Keeping a positive attitude is work; it's a discipline. And he gives you some practical tools to do it: self-reflection and reframing, positive affirmations, and surrounding yourself with good influences. Michelle: Tools, huh? Alright, let’s dig into those. What's this self-reflection and reframing all about? I'm picturing some intense mirror gazing and motivational speeches. Alex: Not “really”. Self-reflection is more about stepping back and looking at how your thoughts and reactions are shaping what's happening. Like, imagine someone pitches a great idea at a meeting, but it gets shot down. They might get defensive and shut down, but with self-reflection, they could ask: "What can I learn from this? How can I make it better?" Reframing is like the next step – choosing to see failures as chances to grow instead of dead ends. Michelle: Right, I see the value in that. But what about those affirmations and visualization techniques? Doesn't that get into "fake it till you make it" territory? Alex: Not at all. Affirmations aren't about pretending; they're about changing how you talk to yourself. So, instead of saying, "I always mess this up," you train yourself to think, "Each time I try, I get closer to succeeding." Visualization is like practicing success in your mind – it's like watching a highlight reel of you achieving your goals before you even start. Athletes do this all the time, picturing every move to build confidence and focus. Michelle: Hmm, so it’s prepping your brain to execute before you’re actually in the moment? Alex: Exactly! The idea is that your brain can’t always tell the difference between imagining success and doing it in real life. So, visualizing positively primes you for action. Plus, it keeps you motivated when things get tough. Michelle: Alright, I can see that working. Now, what about surrounding yourself with positivity? Is that just a fancy way of saying "dump your toxic friends?" Alex: <Laughs> Well, you’re not totally wrong. Who you spend your time with “really” affects how you think. If you’re always around negativity or doubters, it can wear you down, no matter how strong you are. But if you’re with people who support you, who believe in you, that can “really” push you forward. Khera talks about an artist who rediscovers their passion by joining a community of creators, after being dragged down by a discouraging group of peers. Michelle: So basically, curate your circle like you’d curate your social media feed – filter out the negativity. Alex: Exactly. Khera's very clear: we can't choose every circumstance, but we can control how we react, what we believe, and who we let influence us. Michelle: Alright, Alex, fair enough. I see how these tools – reflection, affirmations, visualization, and positive networks – all reinforce that foundation of attitude. But tell me, how does Khera bridge the gap from mindset to, like, actual success? There's gotta be more than just attitude connecting those dots, right?

Alex: Building on the idea of attitude, Khera moves into action, giving us strategies for achieving our goals. This is where things get “really” practical. He gives us a structure to turn positive thinking into real results. It’s the link between having the right attitude and actually succeeding. Michelle: So, okay, we've got the balloons and visualization down, but, uh, what's the roadmap? How does Khera get us from “I think I can” to, you know, “I actually did it”? Alex: Well, a key strategy Khera talks about is the SMART goal framework. It’s all about making our goals not just dreams, but plans that we can “really” act on. It's Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. Michelle: Right, acronyms, got it. But how does SMART work, you know, in the real world? Alex: Sure. “S” for Specific – vague goals like “I want to be healthier” don’t “really” give you anything to work with. Instead, make it something clear like, “I want to run a 5K in the next three months.” Now, it’s not just a thought, it's something you can focus on. Michelle: Okay, that makes sense. If it's too broad, you don't even know where to begin. And "M" is Measurable, I'm guessing? Alex: Exactly. You need to be able to measure your progress to stay motivated. So, if you want to save, don’t just say, “I want to save more." Say, “I’ll save $5,000 this year.” Then, break it down to about $417 a month and track that. Michelle: Right, got it. Numbers to aim at keep you honest. But here’s where I think people get tripped up: “Achievable”. Like, what if I decide I'm going to save $5,000, but I’m a student working part-time? Alex: That's where Achievability comes in. It’s setting goals that fit with what you can do now. If $5,000 isn’t doable, try aiming for $2,000. It’s not about lowering your standards, it’s just about finding a balance between being ambitious and being realistic. Michelle: And I'm guessing "Realistic" just reinforces that idea? Alex: Exactly. It’s making sure your goals fit into your life. For example, if you're working a lot, wanting to learn a new language in three months may not be realistic. So, give yourself six months, or maybe a year, something that's manageable. Michelle: Alright, and finally, "Time-bound." Why are deadlines so important? Alex: Deadlines create urgency and help you prioritize. Without them, goals just kind of drift. You might say, "I’ll finish this project someday," but without a date, like "by December 31st", you'll likely procrastinate and it won’t get done. Michelle: Okay, I buy the SMART goals thing. But here’s my question: What happens when life throws you a curveball? You’ve got your SMART goal laid out, then “bam”, something unexpected happens. Alex: That's why Khera also talks about balance and being adaptable. He says focusing too much on just one area, like your career, can lead to burnout. You need to balance your goals across your relationships, health, personal growth, and work. Michelle: So it’s like spinning plates, right? You’re focused enough to keep them all going, but not so obsessed with one that the others fall. Alex: Exactly. Imagine someone chasing promotions at work, working late, even on weekends. They might meet career goals, but what does it cost them? Their health, their relationships… all of which can then hurt their career too. Michelle: Right, okay. So Khera’s saying go at a pace that's sustainable, and take an approach that covers all areas of life. So, what practical advice does he give for actually striking that balance? Alex: Time-blocking is a big one. Say you want to advance your career “and” stay fit. Instead of just working all the time, schedule specific times each week for exercise, family, even hobbies. This way, nothing takes over, and you avoid burnout and neglect. Michelle: I like that. It’s proactive, you know? Like maintaining your car instead of waiting for it to break down. Alex: Exactly. And that balance doesn’t just make life more enjoyable, it helps you in other ways too. For example, if you invest in your health, you’re going to have more energy to perform at work. Good relationships give you support when things get tough. It’s not about keeping things separate, it’s about making them work together. Michelle: Okay, but even with the best plans, people hit walls. Fear, procrastination, you name it. How does Khera say to handle those barriers when you're already working toward your goals? Alex: Good question. Fear of failure is a big one, and Khera says we need to change how we think about it. Take J.K. Rowling and “Harry Potter”, for example. She got rejected so many times before she finally succeeded. Instead of letting that fear stop her, she used it to make her work even better. Michelle: Okay, failure’s not the end, it’s just a plot twist. But, what about the big one … procrastination? Alex: Procrastination usually comes from feeling overwhelmed or not knowing where to start. Break down goals into small steps. Someone wants to write a book? That's huge. But if they focus on one chapter a week, that feels more doable. Michelle: What about lack of planning? That might be the sneakiest barrier of all. Alex: Definitely. Without a plan, even a goal you “really” want can just disappear. A student might want to graduate with honors, but without a study plan or specific targets, it’s just a wish. Tools like timelines, accountability partners, and checking in on your progress regularly can “really” help. Michelle: Makes sense. And I guess persistence ties all this together, right? Alex: Exactly. Persistence is what keeps you going when fear, procrastination, or setbacks happen. Khera often talks about Thomas Edison who failed 10,000 times before he invented the lightbulb. Each “failure” was just a learning experience, a step toward success. Michelle: Alright, Alex. I’ll admit it, Khera’s goal-setting strategies are pretty solid. SMART goals, balancing different areas of life, and dealing with the barriers head-on… it’s a pretty complete package. Alex: It “really” is. When you combine a strong attitude with these strategies, you’re not just trying to succeed—you’re setting yourself up for “real”, lasting growth in all areas of your life.

Alex: So, after setting up this clear path for hitting your goals, the conversation kind of naturally pivots to the bigger picture: ethical values and the legacy you leave. Khera really wants us to think not just about what we achieve, but how we achieve it and how that affects everyone else. It's all about your ethical legacy – how your choices, your character, define what you leave behind. Michelle: Legacy, huh? That sounds... weighty. So we're not just talking about crushing personal goals anymore, but the much broader impact of living with integrity? Alex: Exactly! It takes it to a whole different level, connecting your own growth with contributing to something bigger and being morally responsible. It's not just about what you achieve, it's about how much good you do and the values you stick to while doing it. Michelle: Okay, I get it. But isn't "legacy" a bit... abstract? People say "leave your mark," but how do you actually balance, day-to-day, hitting those practical goals and building that ethical legacy? Alex: That’s such a good question. Khera argues that true success, true winning, is about putting character and integrity first. Let me share a story from the book that really brings this home. Have you ever heard of Lawrence Lemieux? Michelle: You mean the sailor from the Olympics? I think I know the name, but refresh my memory. Alex: Right, so, Lawrence Lemieux was at the 1988 Olympics, yacht racing. He was doing incredibly well – on track for a medal. Mid-race, he saw another sailor whose boat had flipped in really rough waters. Without even hesitating, Lemieux gave up his race position to rescue the other sailor. By the time he got back to the race, his medal chances were gone. He finished 11th in the end. Michelle: Let me guess, no medal, but he became a sportsmanship icon? Alex: Well, yes and no. The International Olympic Committee actually awarded Lemieux the Pierre de Coubertin Medal, which is given to athletes who show true sportsmanship. But Michelle, this was more than just sportsmanship. It was a conscious choice to stick to your principles, even though it meant losing. It shows us that medals fade, but those value-driven actions? People remember those for generations. Michelle: So, Lemieux is an example of how true winners – the ones who leave an ethical legacy – focus on doing what's right, even when it costs them something real. That’s pretty inspiring. Alex: Exactly! And another example Khera uses is Reuben Gonzales. Michelle: Oh, I love that story! The racquetball player, right? Remind everyone about the details, because that one's powerful. Alex: Okay, so Gonzales was playing in the finals of a really important professional racquetball match. It was a tense moment, and Gonzales made a shot that the officials, and even the audience, thought was fair. The thing is, Gonzales knew it was a foul. No one else did. He could have kept quiet and won the championship right there. But he admitted it. Michelle: And lost the match, right? That’s incredibly brave...and probably a little heartbreaking. Alex: Heartbreaking, yes. But it takes real integrity to give up a championship like that. And you know what? His honesty inspired so many people and earned him more respect than a trophy ever could. It's a great reminder that success built on shaky ethics is worthless, while doing the right thing creates a legacy that lasts. Michelle: Okay, I get the principle. But Alex, let’s bring it down a level. These stories are, you know, dramatic – huge stakes, clear moral choices. How do these lessons work in everyday life? Not everyone's doing Olympic rescues or forfeiting championships. What does Khera say to the rest of us, juggling jobs, relationships, life... you know? Alex: Khera makes the point that an ethical legacy isn’t just about the big, dramatic moments. It’s about how we act in the small decisions we make every day. He talks about the importance of personal responsibility. Whether it’s owning up to mistakes or thinking about how our choices affect others, responsibility is key to ethical behavior. Michelle: Responsibility, huh? Give me a real-world example. Alex: Okay, imagine you’re at an airport, rushing to catch a flight. In the rush, you accidentally knock over a fruit stand run by a young blind girl. While other people hurry away, you stop to help her pick up the fruit and pay for any damage. It’s a simple thing, but it makes a big difference. Khera tells a story similar to this, and the girl's reaction – asking the man, “Are you God?” – shows how much impact those small acts of kindness can have. Michelle: Okay, got it. It's not just grand gestures, it’s the small ripples. What else does he suggest for building that kind of legacy? Alex: Another key thing is empathy. Khera talks about creating a win-win mindset, finding ways to create outcomes where everyone benefits, not just you. He uses a great metaphor – heaven and hell. In both places, people are sitting at tables full of food, but they have extra long spoons that make it impossible to feed themselves. In hell, everyone starves because they are only focused on feeding themselves. But in heaven, everyone thrives because they use their long spoons to feed each other. Michelle: Now that’s a powerful image. It's about seeing the bigger picture, not asking "What's in it for me?", but "How can we all win?" Alex: Exactly. And having that kind of mindset changes your relationships and communities. When you act with empathy, that creates trust and cooperation, and that spreads out to make life better for other people. Michelle: So, responsibility and empathy are key. But Alex, how does Khera say people can actually learn to be more responsible and empathetic? You don’t just wake up with this amazing moral compass, right? Alex: Exactly. Khera emphasizes habits and practical tools. One is having "ethical checkpoints." It's about regularly stopping to think: Were my recent choices in line with my values? Could I have done something differently? Keeping a journal is a great way to track this over time. Michelle: That makes sense, like a personal audit of your values. But what about going beyond yourself? How do you take this and make a difference in your community? Alex: Absolutely. An ethical legacy “really” grows when it reaches beyond you. Khera encourages community-focused action, like mentoring, participating in charity work, or just helping the people around you. These things cause that ripple effect of responsibility and empathy. Michelle: So it’s about thinking bigger than yourself, while staying grounded in everyday life. Let me take a stab at this: the ultimate idea Khera's pushing is that success isn’t just about quick wins—it’s about redefining success to include lasting contribution, right? Alex: Spot on. At the end of the day, success isn’t just measured by what you achieve; it’s defined by the positive difference you leave behind – both for those around you and for society as a whole.

Alex: Okay, so that pretty much wraps up our discussion on Shiv Khera’s “You Can Win”. We've really dug into those three core ideas: how much your attitude shapes everything, how to actually make your goals happen, and why leaving behind a positive mark is so important. To me, it really feels like a complete guide to building a life that’s genuinely successful, in every sense of the word. Michelle: Yeah, and what really struck me is how Khera connects all of these things. It's not just about, you know, chasing those quick wins or accumulating stuff. It's more about creating success that lasts, that's built on solid values, balance, and a resilient mindset that can handle whatever life throws your way. Alex: Precisely! And if you only take one thing away from this whole conversation, let it be this: True success isn’t about outshining others. It’s about elevating yourself and also bringing up the people around you. It’s about nurturing a mindset that helps you grow, setting goals that truly mean something to you, and making choices that create a ripple effect of positivity. Michelle: So, here’s a little challenge for everyone listening: Take a moment to really think about what success means to you. Is it just about hitting certain milestones? Or is it about the kind of legacy you're creating, with every decision you make, every relationship you nurture, and every action you take? You know, thinking about your integrity. Alex: Absolutely, that’s the big question we wanted to leave you with today. Thank you so much for joining us as we explored You Can Win. Until our next episode, keep pushing forward, keep learning, and always remember—the journey to success really does start from within. Michelle: And, you know, maybe just double-check that your coffee maker is set for the morning. Little victories, people! Catch you next time!