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You Can Win

11 min

A Step by Step Tool for Top Achievers

Introduction

Narrator: A balloon seller at a fair finds his business slowing down. To attract a crowd, he releases a bright red balloon, and a group of children rushes over to buy one. A few minutes later, he releases a yellow one, then a blue one, each time drawing more customers. A small boy, watching intently, tugs on the seller's jacket. He points to a black balloon that hasn't been released and asks, "Mister, if you let the black one go, will it fly as high as the others?" The seller smiles, cuts the string, and as the black balloon soars into the sky, he tells the boy, "Son, it is not the color of the balloon; it is what is inside that makes it go up."

This simple yet profound analogy lies at the heart of Shiv Khera's international bestseller, You Can Win. Khera argues that success is not determined by external factors like background, appearance, or even raw talent. Instead, it is the internal "stuff"—our attitude, values, and character—that provides the lift needed to achieve our highest potential. The book serves as a practical manual for cultivating this inner substance, providing a step-by-step guide for anyone determined to transform their life from one of passive acceptance to one of active achievement.

Attitude, Not Aptitude, Determines Altitude

Key Insight 1

Narrator: The foundational principle of You Can Win is that attitude is the single most critical factor for success. Khera cites a Harvard University study suggesting that 85% of job success comes from attitude, while only 15% comes from technical skills and knowledge. A positive attitude doesn't just make a person more pleasant; it fundamentally changes how they perceive and interact with the world. It fosters resilience, improves problem-solving, and builds loyalty within teams.

Khera illustrates this with the ancient story of David and Goliath. When the giant Goliath terrorized a village, all the seasoned warriors saw an opponent who was too big to hit. They were paralyzed by fear, their negative attitude defining the problem as insurmountable. However, a young shepherd boy named David saw the situation differently. His brothers warned him away, but David, looking at the same giant, declared, "He is not too big to hit; he is too big to miss." His positive, can-do attitude reframed the obstacle into an opportunity. While others saw a stumbling block, David saw a stepping stone. This shift in perspective, driven entirely by attitude, was the key to his victory. The book argues that modern-day "giants"—be they professional challenges or personal setbacks—are conquered not by superior strength, but by a superior attitude.

Internal Beliefs are the Most Powerful Fuel for Motivation

Key Insight 2

Narrator: Motivation is the force that translates knowledge into action. Khera distinguishes between two primary types: external and internal. External motivation relies on outside factors, such as fear (the threat of being fired) or incentives (a monetary bonus). While effective in the short term, this type of motivation lasts only as long as the external factor is present.

True, lasting motivation, he argues, is internal. It comes from within—from a person's pride, sense of responsibility, and core beliefs. To explain this, Khera tells the tale of two brothers who grew up in the same home with an abusive, alcoholic father. One brother became a drug addict and abuser, just like his father. When asked why, he said, "What else could I be with a father like that?" The other brother became a highly successful and respected businessman with a wonderful family. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, "What else could I be with a father like that?" Both brothers were motivated by the same source, but their internal belief systems determined the outcome. One used his past as an excuse to fail, while the other used it as a reason to succeed. This demonstrates that the most powerful motivation is not what happens to a person, but how they choose to interpret and respond to it.

Self-Esteem is the Engine of Personal Growth

Key Insight 3

Narrator: Self-esteem—how a person feels about themselves—is the engine that drives performance and fulfillment. Khera explains that our self-concept acts like a container, limiting our potential. He uses the metaphor of a farmer who places a small pumpkin inside a glass jar. The pumpkin grows, but it can only expand to the size and shape of the jar. Similarly, people cannot perform beyond the boundaries of their own self-concept.

Low self-esteem manifests in behaviors like criticism, jealousy, and making excuses, while high self-esteem fosters confidence, responsibility, and healthy relationships. The book powerfully illustrates how self-esteem can be restored with the story of a beggar and an executive. An executive, rushing for a train, drops a dollar into a beggar's bowl. On second thought, he turns back, takes a few pencils from the bowl, and says, "They are priced right. After all, you are a business person and so am I." Six months later, at a party, a well-dressed and confident salesman approaches the executive and introduces himself as the former beggar. He explains, "You restored my dignity. You told me I was a business person, and that's what I became." That simple act of recognizing his worth gave him the self-esteem needed to change his entire life.

Life is an Echo: Your Relationships Mirror Your Actions

Key Insight 4

Narrator: Interpersonal skills are paramount because, as Khera states, "We do not have business problems. We have people problems." The ability to build trust and foster positive relationships is more valuable than any other skill. The core principle governing these relationships is that life is an echo and a boomerang: what you send out, you get back.

The book shares a story of a little boy who, angry at his mother, runs to a valley and shouts, "I hate you!" He is terrified when he hears the words echoed back. His mother, understanding the phenomenon, tells him to go back and shout, "I love you!" The boy does, and this time, the words "I love you" return to him, filling him with joy. This simple story illustrates a profound truth: our relationships with others are a reflection of our own behavior. If we approach others with criticism, negativity, and selfishness, that is what we will receive in return. Conversely, if we offer consideration, appreciation, and a win-win attitude, we build a foundation of trust and cooperation that brings those same qualities back to us.

Goals are Dreams with Deadlines and a Plan of Action

Key Insight 5

Narrator: Many people drift through life without direction, confusing dreams with goals. Khera clarifies that dreams are mere wishes, but goals are dreams with a deadline and a concrete action plan. Without a clear destination, any road will do, but none will lead to a sense of accomplishment.

The story of Florence Chadwick, a long-distance swimmer, powerfully demonstrates this point. In 1952, she attempted to swim the Catalina Channel. The water was freezing, and a dense fog obscured her view. After swimming for over 15 hours, she gave up, exhausted and discouraged. She was shocked to learn she had quit just half a mile from the shore. She later told reporters, "I'm not making excuses. If only I had seen the land, I could have made it." The fog had hidden her goal, and without it in sight, her motivation vanished. Two months later, she tried again. The fog was just as thick, but this time she swam with the mental image of the shoreline held firmly in her mind. She succeeded, becoming the first woman to swim the channel and beating the men's record by two hours. Her story teaches that having a clear, visible goal is essential to overcoming obstacles and persevering to the end.

Integrity is More Valuable Than Victory

Key Insight 6

Narrator: Ultimately, success without a strong moral compass is hollow. Khera emphasizes that values and ethics are the foundation of a meaningful life. He makes a crucial distinction between "winning," which is a one-time event, and "being a winner," which is a spirit defined by character and integrity.

This principle is embodied in the story of Reuben Gonzales, a professional racquetball player. He was at match point in the world championship final. He hit a perfect shot, and both the referee and linesman confirmed it was good, declaring him the winner. His opponent began to walk off the court. But after a moment's hesitation, Gonzales turned to his opponent, shook his hand, and said, "The shot was faulty." He had disqualified himself. As a result, he lost the serve and went on to lose the match. When an interviewer later asked why he did it, he simply replied, "I couldn't live with myself. It was the only thing I could do to maintain my integrity." Gonzales may have lost the trophy, but he emerged as a true winner, demonstrating that how you play the game is more important than the final score.

Conclusion

Narrator: The central, unifying message of You Can Win is that success is an inside-out job. It is not something to be chased, but something that naturally follows from who we become. The book systematically dismantles the idea that we are victims of circumstance and instead builds a compelling case for personal responsibility. The most important takeaway is that character is the bedrock of all lasting achievement. Qualities like a positive attitude, integrity, and self-discipline are not just "nice-to-haves"; they are the essential tools for constructing a successful and fulfilling life.

The ultimate challenge Khera leaves with his readers is to stop looking for shortcuts and start building a stronger foundation. Are you focusing on what you can get, or on who you can become? Because in the end, it is not the trophies we collect that define us, but the character we build along the way.

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