Narrator: Imagine being one of an industry's most powerful figures. You've created multiple hit television shows, won countless awards, and built an empire from your imagination. Then, on Thanksgiving morning, while you're listing off all the prestigious invitations you've recently declined, your sister looks up from her cooking and utters six simple words that bring your world to a screeching halt: "You never say yes to anything." For Shonda Rhimes, the creative force behind Grey's Anatomy and Scandal, this quiet observation was a grenade. It revealed a startling truth: despite her immense success, she was living a life governed by fear, automatically saying "no" to anything that pushed her outside her comfort zone. In her poignant and hilarious memoir, Year of Yes, Rhimes chronicles the transformative experiment that followed—a full year of saying "yes" to everything that scared her.

Narrator: The journey begins not with a grand epiphany, but in the mundane chaos of Thanksgiving preparations. When Rhimes's sister, Delorse, makes her offhand comment, Rhimes’s initial reaction is defensive. She is a showrunner, a single mother to three children; her life is a fortress of responsibility. Saying "no" isn't a choice, it's a necessity. But the words linger. A few weeks later, after attending the Kennedy Center Honors and sitting with the President and First Lady, she has a startling middle-of-the-night realization: if she had been asked to attend, she would have said no. The fear of small talk, of being seen, of stepping outside the familiar world of her work, would have been too great. This connects back to her childhood, where her favorite place to play was not outside with friends, but alone in the pantry, creating worlds with cans of food. The pantry was safe, a kingdom of her own making. She realizes her adult life has become a larger, more luxurious pantry. This culminates in a moment of painful honesty: despite all her success, she is miserable. And so, on her birthday, she makes a vow. For one year, she will say yes to everything that scares her.

Narrator: The first tests of Rhimes's vow strike at the heart of her deepest fears: public appearances. As an introvert, she describes publicity as a form of terror, recounting interviews with Oprah where her anxiety was so high she would experience total memory loss, later having to ask others what she said. Her publicist’s requests for TV appearances were met with a litany of potential disasters, from tripping on stage to having a "fear-snot" incident on live television. The "Year of Yes," however, forces her hand. When asked to appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live, her instinct is to run. But inspired by the journey of one of her own characters, Cristina Yang, she finds a compromise. She says yes, but on her own terms, negotiating a pre-taped segment instead of a live one. The experience is a success.

An even greater challenge arrives with an invitation to deliver the commencement speech at her alma mater, Dartmouth College. The thought of speaking to ten thousand people paralyzes her with writer's block. She writes a safe, witty, but ultimately hollow speech. It isn't until she's on the plane to the event that she realizes it’s a lie. She throws it out and writes a new speech from the heart—one that is vulnerable, honest, and speaks the truth about the hard work of being a "doer" instead of a "dreamer." Standing on that stage, she finally feels joy in public speaking, not because the fear is gone, but because she chose to speak her whole truth.

Narrator: The "Year of Yes" quickly reveals that professional fears are only part of the equation. Rhimes confronts the pervasive myth that successful women, especially mothers, are "doing it all" on their own. She hilariously compares this to her high school obsession with Whitney Houston's seemingly perfect hair, only to learn years later that the secret was a wig. The "wig," she argues, is the invisible help—the nannies, housekeepers, and assistants—that make a demanding career possible. Rhimes makes a point to credit her own "SEAL Team Six of nannies," Jenny McCarthy, arguing that being honest about receiving help is crucial to ending the "Mommy War," the culture of judgment that pits mothers against each other.

This realization extends to her own children. One evening, dressed in a ball gown for an event, her young daughter asks, "Wanna play?" In that moment, Rhimes sees her life flashing before her eyes—a life of work and obligations, but one where she is missing out on the simple joy of play. She kicks off her heels, gets on the floor, and says yes. She discovers that her children rarely want more than fifteen minutes of her undivided attention. Saying yes to play isn't about sacrificing hours of work; it's about being fully present for a few precious, uninterrupted moments, a shift in priority that brings more love and joy back into her life.

Narrator: Paradoxically, the "Year of Yes" teaches Rhimes the profound importance of saying "no." She recalls a terrifying childhood experience in driver's ed where, on her very first day, the instructor mistakenly told her to merge onto the freeway. Too scared to say no, she did it, a traumatic event that taught her that compliance isn't always safe. As an adult, this fear of saying no manifested as people-pleasing, both personally and professionally. She would agree to things she didn't want to do and allow others to take advantage of her time and resources.

Her experiment forces her to have difficult conversations she had long avoided. When a friend casually asks for an enormous sum of money, Rhimes, armed with her newfound resolve, finally says no. The friend's entitled, angry reaction reveals the true, unhealthy nature of their relationship. Saying no becomes a tool for setting boundaries, for protecting her peace, and for clearing her life of drama. She learns that a "no" spoken from a place of truth is just as powerful and life-changing as a "yes" spoken from a place of courage.

Narrator: Perhaps the most personal "yes" Rhimes confronts is the societal expectation of marriage. She loves weddings—the romance, the dresses, the joy—but has never truly desired to be a bride herself. Yet, when she finds herself in a serious relationship, she begins laying track for a "ghost train," pretending to want the wedding and the life her partner envisions. The praise she receives for simply having a man is overwhelming, eclipsing all her professional accolades. It highlights a stark societal truth: a woman's value is often measured by her relationship status.

The turning point comes from a line she wrote for one of her own characters, Cristina Yang, who tells her best friend Meredith Grey: "He is very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are." Rhimes realizes she has been making her partner the sun. She ends the relationship, not because he is a bad person, but because the life he wants is not the life she wants. Her happy ending, she discovers, is the one she has already built: a fulfilling career, wonderful children, and a life filled with love and creativity. True happiness comes not from conforming, but from being who you actually are.

Narrator: Ultimately, the "Year of Yes" was never just about attending parties or giving speeches. It was a journey toward self-love. Rhimes observes this struggle at an industry dinner where a room full of powerful, accomplished women cannot accept a simple compliment. Each time one is praised, she deflects, demurs, or physically shrinks. Rhimes recognizes herself in their behavior and vows to change. She begins to practice accepting praise with a simple, "Thank you."

This culminates in a cover shoot for Entertainment Weekly alongside the stars of her shows. In the past, this would have been an experience of pure terror. But now, standing on an apple box under the hot lights, she doesn't run. When the photographer tells her she is beautiful, she decides to believe him. She dances, she laughs, and she owns the moment. The journey of saying yes to the world led her to the most important yes of all: the yes to herself. It was about learning to love the woman in the mirror, flaws and all, and to take up her space in the universe with pride.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Year of Yes is that saying "yes" is not about reckless abandon, but about intentional courage. It is a powerful tool for prying open a life that has been constricted by fear, routine, and the expectations of others. Shonda Rhimes's journey reveals that the path to a more vibrant life isn't about becoming someone new, but about finally giving yourself permission to be who you've been all along.

The book's most challenging idea is that this journey of "yes" will inevitably lead you to the difficult but liberating power of "no"—no to draining relationships, no to unfair expectations, and no to anything that isn't your authentic truth. It leaves us with a profound question: What are the pantries we are hiding in, and what might happen if we dared to step out and say yes to the sun?