Mark: Alright, here's a thought: What if the secret to making better, faster decisions... is to get really good at doing nothing? What if the most successful people, from tennis stars to Wall Street traders, have mastered the art of the pause? Michelle: Doing nothing? That sounds like my ideal Tuesday, Mark, but I'm not sure my boss would agree. It feels like in today's world, if you pause, you get left behind. The early bird gets the worm, right? Mark: That’s the conventional wisdom, but today’s book argues that sometimes the second mouse gets the cheese. We are diving into Wait: The Art and Science of Delay by Frank Partnoy. And what makes his argument so compelling is his background. This isn't just a philosopher telling us to slow down; Partnoy is a law professor who used to be a derivatives structurer on Wall Street in the 90s. Michelle: Oh, wow. So he was an insider in the culture of speed. He saw the engine room of "faster, faster, now!" and came out the other side telling everyone to hit the brakes. Mark: Exactly. He wrote this in the shadow of the 2008 financial crisis, looking at the behavioral tics that caused it. He argues that our inability to wait, right down to the millisecond, is a huge part of the problem. And the solution starts in a place you'd never expect: our own bodies. Michelle: Okay, you have my attention. I thought waiting was a mental game, a test of patience. You’re telling me it’s physical? Mark: It’s deeply physical. The journey into the art of delay doesn't start with your brain, it starts with your heart.

Mark: Partnoy introduces us to the work of a scientist named Stephen Porges, who studied something called the vagal nerve. It’s basically the superhighway connecting your brain to your vital organs, especially your heart. Porges found that a key indicator of emotional health is Heart Rate Variability, or HRV. Michelle: HRV, I’ve seen that on my fitness tracker. I mostly ignore it. What does it actually mean? Mark: It’s a measure of how flexible your heart rate is. A healthy heart doesn't beat like a metronome; it’s constantly speeding up and slowing down by tiny amounts. High variability means you have a really responsive nervous system. Think of it like a car with incredible brakes and acceleration. You can navigate tricky situations because you can adapt instantly. Michelle: That’s a great analogy. So good brakes in your heart mean you can handle life's traffic better. Mark: Precisely. And Porges ran a fascinating study to prove it. He measured the HRV of nine-month-old infants while they played with new toys. Then he followed up with them when they were three years old. The single best predictor of which kids would have behavioral problems wasn't their early behavior or what their parents said. It was their HRV. Michelle: You’re kidding. So the babies whose hearts were more adaptable and flexible at nine months old were better adjusted as toddlers? Mark: Yes. The ability to manage these superfast, millisecond-long delays in their heart rate gave them better emotional regulation years later. As Partnoy puts it, being fast in our heart helps our brain go slow later. This physical readiness to pause is the foundation of self-control. Michelle: That is wild. It completely reframes self-control. It’s not just gritting your teeth and resisting the cookie; it’s this deep, unconscious physical skill. Does this show up anywhere else, outside of toddlers? Mark: Absolutely. Look at superfast sports. Partnoy tells the story of tennis legends Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert. They dominated the game in the 70s, and their secret weapon was returning the serve. A pro serve gives you less than half a second to react. Michelle: Which seems physically impossible. How did they do it? Mark: It wasn't because they had faster visual reaction times. Studies show that's pretty consistent across most people, even pro athletes. The difference was that their physical reaction—the muscle contraction to start the swing—was almost instantaneous. They trained their bodies to be incredibly violent and quick. Michelle: Okay, but how does being faster help you wait? Mark: Because by minimizing the time it took to physically act, they maximized the time they had to think. Or rather, to let their preconscious brain work. That tiny fraction of a second they bought themselves was enough time for "ball identification"—to process the spin, the trajectory, and the placement of the serve. They were so fast physically that they could afford to be slow mentally. They stretched time. Michelle: Wow. So they're not just reacting. They're observing, orienting, and then acting, all in the blink of an eye. It’s a physical gift that creates a mental advantage. Mark: It’s the OODA loop—Observe, Orient, Decide, Act—happening at lightning speed. And it shows that the ability to delay, even for a few crucial milliseconds, is what separates the good from the truly great. But our modern world is often set up to punish that very instinct.

Michelle: That’s a perfect transition. Having good internal brakes is one thing. But it feels like our entire culture is a runaway train with no brakes. What happens when the environment itself pushes us to go faster and faster? Mark: You get some very strange and dangerous outcomes. Partnoy tells the incredible story of a high-frequency trading firm called UNX. In the mid-2000s, they were falling behind, so they hired a new CEO to build a faster, cutting-edge trading platform. Michelle: The classic business solution: if you’re losing, speed up. Mark: Exactly. So they built this new system, and it worked. But they wanted to be even faster. Their computers were in Burbank, California, and the stock exchanges were in New York. That distance created a delay of about 65 milliseconds. To eliminate that, they physically moved their entire computer system to New York, right next to the exchanges. Michelle: And I’m guessing their profits went through the roof. Mark: Their trading costs went up. They got faster, but their results got worse. They were paying more for stocks and getting less when they sold. The team was baffled. Michelle: Hold on. In the most efficient, speed-obsessed market in the world, getting faster made them lose money? That breaks my brain. Mark: It broke theirs, too. Finally, out of desperation, they tried something crazy. They deliberately programmed a delay back into their system. They slowed their computers down. And when they hit that original 65-millisecond delay, their performance shot back up to the top of the charts. Michelle: That is unbelievable. So there was a "sweet spot" for delay. Being first wasn't the best strategy; being slightly behind the first wave was. The second mouse gets the cheese. Mark: Precisely. Sometimes there’s a first-mover disadvantage. But this pressure to react instantly isn't just in finance. It happens in high-stakes human decisions, too, often with tragic results. Partnoy brings up the infamous 1978 football game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles. Michelle: Oh, I think I’ve heard of this. The "Miracle at the Meadowlands." Mark: That's the one. The Giants are ahead with 31 seconds left. All their quarterback, Joe Pisarcik, has to do is kneel and run out the clock. It's the most standard, no-brainer play in football. But on the previous play, an Eagles player had aggressively tackled Pisarcik during the kneel-down, which is a huge breach of etiquette. Michelle: So tensions were high. Mark: Extremely high. The offensive coordinator, Bob Gibson, has to call the final play. His expert, rational brain—his System 2—knows to just call another kneel. But his panicked, protective, intuitive brain—his System 1—is screaming to protect his quarterback from another cheap shot. In that split second, under immense pressure, he makes a bad call. He calls a handoff play to the running back. Michelle: Oh no. I can feel where this is going. Mark: It's a disaster. The players are confused, the handoff is botched, the ball is fumbled. An Eagles player scoops it up and runs it in for a game-winning touchdown as time expires. The Giants lose a game they had absolutely locked up. Gibson was fired the next morning and never coached in the NFL again. Michelle: Wow. So in both the trading firm and the football game, the pressure of the moment forced a snap reaction that was completely wrong. One was a computer, one was a human, but the fundamental error was the same: reacting too fast. Mark: It’s the tyranny of the now. And it’s interesting, some critics of the book felt it was a bit too focused on these high-stakes finance and sports examples. But I think these stories reveal a universal lesson about the danger of letting urgency override wisdom. Michelle: I agree. It shows that whether the decision is worth billions of dollars or just one football game, the principle is the same. But this all feels very high-level. How does this apply to more everyday things, like... putting off doing the dishes?

Mark: That’s the perfect question, because Partnoy argues this art of delay scales up from milliseconds to days, months, even years. And it applies to things we'd never expect, like making an apology. Michelle: An apology? We’re always told to apologize immediately. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger," and all that. Mark: Right, and for small, accidental offenses, that’s good advice. But for bigger, more intentional hurts? Partnoy highlights research that shows a delayed apology is often perceived as more sincere and effective. Michelle: Really? Why would that be? Mark: Think about it. A snap apology can feel like a way to just end the conversation and escape the discomfort. It doesn't give the wronged person time to process their feelings or even fully express their anger. A delay shows you've actually thought about what you did, you've sat with the consequences, and you're not just trying to get yourself off the hook. Michelle: That makes a lot of sense. You’re giving their feelings space and time to breathe. Rushing to say "I'm sorry" can feel like you're rushing them to forgive you. Mark: Exactly. It's the difference between Mel Gibson's immediate, rambling, self-serving apology after his anti-Semitic rant, which was a disaster, and comedian Tracy Morgan's response. After telling some awful jokes, Morgan waited a few days, let the public react, met with community leaders, and then issued a thoughtful, multi-step apology that showed remorse and a desire to repair the harm. His career recovered; Gibson's is still tarnished. Michelle: Okay, the apology thing, I'm sold on. It’s a strategic pause. But what about procrastination? Come on, Mark. You can't tell me that's a good thing. My to-do list is giving me a dirty look just for talking about this. Mark: (laughs) Well, Partnoy introduces us to the concept of "structured procrastination," from philosopher John Perry. The idea is that procrastinators rarely do nothing. They do marginally useful things to avoid the big, scary task at the top of their list. A structured procrastinator weaponizes this. They put a huge, daunting, and maybe even imaginary project at the top of their list. Michelle: Like "Solve world hunger." Mark: Exactly. And to avoid that, they end up doing all the other important things on their list, like filing their taxes or writing a report. They trick themselves into being productive. Partnoy tells the story of Nobel-winning economist George Akerlof, who spent eight months in India putting off mailing a box for a friend because he knew it would be a bureaucratic nightmare. Michelle: Eight months! I would feel so guilty. Mark: But in those eight months, he wasn't just sitting around. He was doing the research that would eventually win him the Nobel Prize. He strategically procrastinated on the low-value task to focus on the high-value one. Michelle: Okay, I see the distinction. It’s about prioritizing, not just avoiding. But how do you know the difference in the moment? When is it a "strategic delay" and when is it just... me avoiding life? Mark: That’s the art of it. It requires self-awareness. You have to ask: am I delaying this to gather more information, to find a better moment, or to focus on something more important? Or am I just delaying it because it's uncomfortable?

Michelle: This is all so fascinating. It seems like the big idea in Wait isn't just "slow down." It's about becoming the master of your own timeline. Whether it's a millisecond, a minute, or a month, the power comes from consciously choosing your response time instead of letting the world, or even your own panicked instincts, dictate it for you. Mark: Precisely. Partnoy argues this is a fundamental human skill we've started to lose. He says our frontal lobe gives us a kind of "time machine" to think about the future, a capacity no other animal has to the same degree. But we're letting technology and cultural pressure trap us in the immediate present. The book is really a call to reclaim that uniquely human ability to look ahead. Michelle: It’s a powerful idea. It’s not about being slow, it’s about being deliberate. It’s about owning your time. Mark: And it's a skill we can all practice. The book received some mixed reviews, with some readers finding it a bit polarizing or too business-focused, but I think the core message is universal. Michelle: I agree. So maybe the challenge for all of us this week is to find one decision—big or small—and deliberately wait on it. Don't answer that email right away. Don't make that impulse purchase online. Just give it an hour, or even a full day. Create a little space and see what happens. Mark: I love that. A personal delay experiment. And if you try it, we'd love to hear how it goes. You can find us on our social channels and share your story. We're always curious to see how these ideas play out in the real world. Michelle: It’s a great way to put the art and science of delay to the test. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.