Alex: Hey everyone, welcome back! Today, we're diving into wabi-sabi, a Japanese philosophy about finding beauty in imperfection and embracing life's transience . It's actually quite profound . Michelle: Wabi-sabi, huh? So, Alex, are we talking about, like, getting all excited over a cracked coffee mug? Because, honestly, I’ve got a whole cabinet full of those . If that's the key to enlightenment, then I'm practically a guru . Alex: Well, sort of, Michelle . But it's so much more than just chipped mugs . There's this book, “Wabi Sabi: Find Beauty in Imperfection” by Beth Kempton, which is a kind of guide to seeing the imperfections in our lives, not as flaws, but inherent part of their story . It's part cultural lesson, part practical guide, that reshapes how we see everything from our relationships to our careers, even our personal growth . Michelle: Okay, so it’s basically a self-help book for people like me who are comfortable in my imperfection? I mean, couldn't you just tell me "it's okay to be a mess" and save me the reading time ? Alex: Not really! Wabi-sabi isn't just about accepting it, it actually teaches us to find the beauty in it . So, in today's podcast, we'll break it down into three key aspects . First, we'll explore the philosophy itself: how it challenges our obsession with perfection and actually redefines what beauty “really” is . Michelle: Well, to be fair, perfection is overrated . My idea of decluttering is, well, shoving everything into a drawer and hoping for the best . Alex: Right, but wabi-sabi would actually change your mindset about that . And that brings us to the second point: how it applies to everyday life . It's about intentional simplicity -- letting go of the excess, rediscovering mindfulness, and really living with a purpose . Michelle: Okay, so it’s is it like a Marie Kondo thing with a little Zen sprinkled on top ? Alex: Kind of, but it's deeper than that . Which leads us to the last bit: the lessons for personal growth . Wabi-sabi shows us how to embrace how life is impermanent, that it's full of fleeting moments, and find grace in change . It's really elegant, timeless wisdom for a world that, let's face it, often feels way too rushed and unsatisfying . Michelle: Well, sounds like I might actually need this . Although, you're going to have to really convince me on the "finding grace" part . Alex: Don't worry, Michelle, I think I can get you there . Let’s dive in and unravel the beauty of wabi-sabi together .

Alex: Okay, let's jump right in. What “is” wabi-sabi, exactly? It’s this beautifully nuanced idea from Japanese culture that really reshapes how we think about beauty, time, and even imperfections. The term itself combines “wabi”, which embodies simplicity and a real connection to nature, and “sabi”, which celebrates the serenity that comes with age and wear. Michelle: So, if I'm understanding correctly, it’s basically giving your grandma’s chipped china or, you know, your scratched-up coffee table a standing ovation instead of just tossing it? Alex: Not entirely wrong, Michelle! It’s definitely about appreciating those scratches—seeing them as part of the object's story. Wabi-sabi teaches us that beauty isn't in what's flawless or new, it’s in what's authentic, what's lived-in, and what reflects the natural cycle of life. Michelle: Okay, but "authenticity"... that sounds like one of those buzzwords people like to throw around these days. What does wabi-sabi do with that concept that makes it different, you think? Alex: Great point. That’s really where the philosophy gets interesting. Let me share an example from Beth Kempton. She talks about living in a small Japanese apartment and being struck by how these everyday objects—like, say, a cracked vase—exuded this quiet grace. Instead of discarding or hiding these imperfections, the Japanese aesthetic actually integrates them. So that vase wasn't just "imperfect"; it became meaningful because of its imperfection. Michelle: So it’s basically saying, “Don’t replace the vase; befriend the crack”? I mean, that's sort of poetic, right? Alex: Absolutely! It’s even more than poetic; it’s actually transformative, I think. Wabi-sabi invites us to stop chasing the unattainable gloss of perfection that we're so used to. Instead, we pause, we notice, and we just… let things be. Michelle: Hmm, that's the part I have a little trouble with, to be honest. Isn’t there a danger of, you know, romanticizing sloppiness? Like, if my couch is sagging in the middle, is that wabi-sabi or just… me needing better furniture? Alex: Fair distinction, Michelle. Wabi-sabi isn’t really about neglect or lowering standards. It’s really about intentionality. Kempton writes that embracing wabi-sabi often means really assessing what's truly meaningful in your life. So, if that sagging couch isn’t really adding to your life, maybe let it go. But if it holds memories—that spot where you’ve binge-watched your favorite shows? Then maybe that sag is a feature, not a flaw. Michelle: Hmm. So, it starts to feel like it’s not just about objects but, you know, about how we live. Alex: Exactly! I'd say it's a mindset shift more than anything else. Think about how modern culture teaches us to cover up signs of time—anti-aging products, spotless homes, Photoshop filters… Wabi-sabi flips that completely. It cherishes the wrinkles, the stains, and the cracks because they remind us of life’s transient nature. Michelle: Okay, Alex, but can we talk about why this concept exists in the first place? I mean, I get the sentiment, but where did this all actually start? Alex: Of course. Wabi-sabi has roots in Zen Buddhism, particularly its emphasis on mindfulness and impermanence. It emerged almost as a counterbalance to materialism and the relentless pursuit of perfection. One of the best historical examples of wabi-sabi is the Japanese tea ceremony—specifically, the tea bowls used in the ritual. Michelle: Ah yes, tea bowls. Because if anything embodies existential philosophy, it’s definitely a cup. Alex: Don’t underestimate tea bowls! In a tea ceremony, the bowls are intentionally imperfect—handmade, with uneven glazes or small cracks. These so-called “flaws” make them unique, and they ultimately tell stories about the materials, the maker, and the passage of time. Kempton describes how these bowls are revered, not in spite of their irregularities but precisely because of them. Michelle: So it’s like an anti-factory mindset? It’s not about churning out identical perfection but embracing the quirks that show the human hand at work, is what I'm getting at. Alex: Exactly! It’s about celebrating individuality and the marks of time. Even the modest tea rooms in these ceremonies follow the same principle. They’re made from natural materials like bamboo or wood—things that weather over time. And that weathering becomes part of the beauty, part of the experience. Michelle: Kind of makes you rethink places like Ikea, huh? Maybe instead of “assemble this flawlessly,” wabi-sabi would say, “Enjoy the charm of the extra screw you forgot to use.” Alex: Let’s not take it that far, but your point is definitely valid. Wabi-sabi isn’t really striving for mass-produced uniformity. It’s asking us to notice life’s details—even the imperfect ones. And Michelle, this even extends beyond objects. Take Japanese poetry, like haikus by Bashō. His work focuses on fleeting moments in nature, like one haiku about the sound of a frog jumping into a pond. He captures an instant that’s impermanent but still vibrantly alive. Michelle: Okay, Bashō gets bonus points for subtlety there. But what I’m hearing is, wabi-sabi really taught people to embrace what’s fleeting? Because if that's true, that makes this feel bigger than just tea bowls or chipped furniture, doesn't it? Alex: It absolutely does. And that’s what makes wabi-sabi philosophically so rich. Over centuries, it became more than just aesthetics—it turned into a way of living. Wabi-sabi ultimately encourages humility and finding peace with the world as it is, not how we want it to be. Michelle: And in a world full of filters and, you know, curated perfection? Sounds like an antidote we could all probably use.

Alex: So, getting into the nitty-gritty, this understanding really sets the stage for how wabi-sabi can be used in daily life, beyond just a philosophy. This is where it really gets interesting. Beth Kempton does a fantastic job outlining how it applies to things like minimalism, home design, relationships, and even your career. Michelle: Okay, now we're talking! Wabi-sabi isn’t just about contemplating tea ceremonies. Are you saying it can actually help me declutter my apartment, maybe finally make it feel like home, and even chill out about work? Alex: Exactly! Let’s start with minimalism, since everyone's talking about it. Kempton reframes it through wabi-sabi. It’s not just about purging everything until your life is sterile, Marie Kondo style. It’s more about curating a space filled with things that actually mean something to you. Michelle: So less about counting pants and more about the why behind each pair? Sentimental value over spreadsheet efficiency? Alex: Precisely. Kempton uses the example of an old, beat-up journal – maybe not the prettiest thing on Instagram. But wabi-sabi says that journal, worn pages and all, holds stories and memories. Now compare that to some shiny, trendy object you bought just because it looked expensive. Which one truly resonates with you? Michelle: So the drawer full of random takeout forks that has taken up a corner of my kitchen is not exactly what Beth had in mind for sentimental clutter, eh? Alex: Probably not! Wabi-sabi is about being intentional. It’s not about strictly minimizing, but keeping what feels purposeful or emotionally significant. And that extends to your space, too. Those “flaws” people tend to hide—like a slightly imperfect glaze on a ceramic vase or a scratch on a wooden table? Wabi-sabi embraces them. Michelle: Wait, we're celebrating scratches now? So that IKEA coffee table covered in mysterious rings is suddenly art? Alex: Not so fast, Michelle. It's not about any chaos. The scratches matter if they tell a story. Maybe they’re from years of family dinners, late-night board games, or even creative projects. Kempton points out that those imperfections are living proof of life happening around that table. Suddenly flaws turn into milestones! Michelle: Okay, I get it. It’s not “clutter is wabi-sabi,” but “your space should tell a story and feel like home.” Alex: Exactly. Beth even touches on “negative space,” which I think you’ll appreciate. It's about not filling every single corner of your home. Leaving some space open creates balance, simplicity – lets the room breathe, so to speak. Michelle: You know, I've walked into some really minimalist places that felt so sterile I wanted to whisper. They just left space for emptiness. Alex: It’s not nothingness; it’s intentional emptiness. It's rooted in the Japanese concept of ma, the appreciation of intervals. That open corner isn't just aesthetic; it's a way to create mental and emotional space. Michelle: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that makes a lot of sense. Now I’m tempted to toss half my furniture just to see what a "breathing" living room feels like. Alex: And it's not just about removing – it's about adding back intentionally. Think natural materials, handcrafted items, or a piece of nature like driftwood or a stone. It's less about a polished, Instagram-perfect home and more about a welcoming, natural, tranquil space. Michelle: So instead of buying mass-produced art, I could just grab a cool-looking rock on a hike and put it on the mantle? Alex: If that rock reminds you of a meaningful moment, absolutely! It’s about the stories these objects carry. And speaking of stories, wabi-sabi applies just as much to relationships as our homes. Michelle: Oh boy, going from scratched furniture to bruised egos, huh? Alex: Kind of! Relationships are imperfect by nature, and wabi-sabi asks us to embrace that. Kempton tells this lovely story about the Japanese tea ceremony, where every gesture—the bow, the pour—is filled with respect and care. It shows how small acts of intention make interactions more meaningful. Michelle: So instead of spacing on my partner's coffee order, wabi-sabi is all about boiling water with sincerity? Alex: I think your partner would appreciate that! It’s less about grand gestures and more about attentiveness. Small things—really listening when someone’s talking, leaving a kind note—build stronger connections. Kempton remembers, a neighbor left a pot of homemade jam on her doorstep in Japan. That small gesture created a sense of community without even needing words. Michelle: Jam as a love language, I can get behind that. Still, this all sounds like it takes patience, and modern life isn't exactly built for that. Alex: True, but wabi-sabi is about slowing down, being present, and seeing beauty in the small things. Whether it’s your relationship, or even your career, which is another fascinating area Kempton explores. Michelle: Career too? I thought this was about pottery and tea! Alex: That’s the beauty of wabi-sabi—it’s a way of seeing the world, not a set of rules. Kempton writes that careers, like life, rarely follow a straight line. Imperfections, detours, and missteps aren’t failures; they’re part of the journey. She shares her own experience of shifting from a conventional career to one rooted in her passion for Japanese culture and mindful living. Michelle: So, wabi-sabi says if your career path looks like a scribbled mess instead of a neat line, you’re on the right track? Alex: Exactly! It's about redefining what success means to you. Kempton suggests asking yourself, “What inspires me?” or “Does this align with my values?” That intentionality helps us re-calibrate. Michelle: Huh. So instead of panicking every time my career hits a wall, I should see it as a "golden repair" on my path? That’s… considerably less stressful. Alex: Exactly! Wabi-sabi invites us to see challenges as opportunities for growth and reminds us that even in our work, imperfection can lead to something beautiful and authentic. Michelle: Alright, Alex, you’re selling me this wabi-sabi lifestyle. Maybe the chipped furniture, the flawed relationships, the chaotic career... maybe they all have hope after all!

Alex: These practical insights naturally lead to some deeper personal and philosophical thoughts. What I really love about wabi-sabi is how much it pushes you to grow, especially when it comes to how we deal with things like change, setbacks, and even what we think success really is. It’s about seeing life in a way that’s both gentle and strong. Michelle: Okay, sounds good, but “reshaping how we confront impermanence” is a mouthful, Alex. Are we getting into some heavy, existential stuff here? Because if so, I need a guide. Alex: Don’t worry, Michelle, it’s all about real, everyday experiences. Let’s start with impermanence, the very core of wabi-sabi. Beth Kempton shows us that realizing nothing lasts forever doesn’t have to be depressing. It can actually help us pay attention and be more present, you know? Michelle: Right, so we’re supposed to just be okay with the fact that life is short and sweet, and somehow feel happy about it? That’s a tough sell. Alex: I know it sounds weird, but think about this: Kempton uses the image of a garden that’s changing. Picture a garden in the spring—everything’s growing, it’s colorful, it’s full of life. Now, instead of being sad about the leaves falling and the flowers dying in the fall, what if you enjoyed the whole cycle? The green leaves, then the slow change as things start to fade, and even the soil that’s left behind, which helps new things grow? Michelle: So you’re telling me to stop freaking out about a plant dying and start thinking of it as a life lesson. Got it. Alex: Exactly! Wabi-sabi shows us how to see those changes as beautiful, even necessary. And it starts with noticing what’s happening in nature. Kempton suggests simple things, like watching how trees change with the seasons or seeing how the light changes from day to night. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and realizing that the best parts of life are often the quick, imperfect moments. Michelle: Okay, here’s a practical question: How does watching a sunset or autumn leaves actually help me grow? I mean, people look at pretty things all the time, but it doesn’t mean they’ve figured out life, right? Alex: Good point, but it’s about how you look at it. When you really think about how nature’s always changing and relate it to your own life, it changes how you deal with change. Like, if you start to really enjoy a sunset, you might also learn to appreciate a relationship, a job, or even your own goals, without holding on too tight or being afraid of losing them, you know? Michelle: I see what you mean. Little steps to make the big stuff easier. I guess it’s easier to think about change when you’re looking at a tree and not, say, your shrinking bank account. Alex: That’s why wabi-sabi works so well. It’s something you do, not something you just figure out once. And from accepting change, we naturally start to become more resilient. Kempton uses that Japanese saying, "Fall seven times, stand up eight," showing how even when things go wrong, it can change you for the better if you look at it the right way. Michelle: Ah, resilience—the classic “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” idea. But how does wabi-sabi make that feel new? Alex: It makes failure seem like it has its own kind of beauty. Think of kintsugi, the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with gold. Instead of hiding the cracks, kintsugi actually makes them stand out, turns them into the best part. It’s like saying, "This is beautiful because of its flaws, not despite them." Kempton uses that as a way to think about our own scars—whether they’re physical, emotional, or whatever. Michelle: Wait, so if my career has been one disaster after another, I can just put some metaphorical gold on it and call it a day? Alex: Well, kind of! It’s not about pretending things didn’t happen, but about learning from them and showing how they’ve made you who you are. Kempton suggests things like writing in a journal about what you’ve learned from hard times or being open with people you trust. It’s through those thoughts and connections that our "cracks" can become something really valuable. Michelle: Being vulnerable, huh? I think a lot of people would struggle with that. It’s like admitting your pottery is broken in a world that wants everything to be perfect and shiny. Alex: Exactly, and that’s why embracing imperfection is such a big deal. By sharing our struggles, we understand each other better and become closer. It takes guts, but it also makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger. And that leads us to the third thing about personal growth in wabi-sabi: gratitude. Michelle: Gratitude feels like it’s everywhere these days. Everyone’s writing down three things they’re thankful for every morning. What’s different about wabi-sabi’s view? Alex: Wabi-sabi gratitude is more real, less like checking off a list. It’s about noticing the small, ordinary joys in your everyday life. Kempton talks about this one time when she was drinking tea in a small café while it was raining outside. Nothing special happened, but she felt really grateful for that simple, cozy moment. Michelle: So wabi-sabi’s gratitude is more about noticing the amazing in a normal Tuesday afternoon? Alex: Exactly! And you can make that a habit by doing small things, like thinking about moments that made you happy each night. The more you focus on those little things—like the smell of rain or a kind word—the more you train your brain to see what you have instead of what you don’t. Michelle: Okay, that’s actually useful. Probably better than dwelling on everything that went wrong each day, right? Alex: Definitely. Gratitude doesn't make problems disappear, but it makes them less painful. And that brings us to the big idea of fulfillment. Wabi-sabi says that true happiness isn’t about what other people think, or having a lot of stuff, or being perfect. It’s about being yourself, living by your values, and focusing on what “really” makes you happy. Michelle: So, basically, I should stop chasing those Instagram dreams and start enjoying the coffee in front of me? Alex: Pretty much. Kempton talks about the Japanese tea ceremony. Everything in it—from the cup you choose to how you pour the tea—is done with purpose and care. It’s like a small version of how life could be lived, with awareness and attention in even the smallest things. Michelle: That’s… surprisingly beautiful. Quiet, simple, intentional. Like finding happiness in the process instead of some big, shiny goal. Alex: Exactly, Michelle. Wabi-sabi teaches us to define success not by being perfect, but by being real and connecting with others. It’s about finding peace in the messy flow of life, accepting both the cracks in our road and the quick moments of beauty along the way.

Alex: So, there you have it. We've taken a deep dive into wabi-sabi, looking at how it's rooted in accepting imperfection, embracing simplicity and the fleeting nature of things. We've seen how that translates into practical stuff, like designing a more mindful home, living with intention, building stronger relationships, and, ultimately, how it all encourages us to grow by being more accepting, resilient, and grateful. Michelle: Okay, so, in a nutshell, wabi-sabi is about, well, giving up on this impossible idea of perfection. It's about, instead, really noticing those little imperfections, the scratches and dents in life, and realizing that, hey, maybe those are actually the best bits? Alex: Precisely! It's a nudge to slow down for a second, really be thankful for what we've got, and see flaws in a new light – as something beautiful, even. So, makes you think, right? What's one “imperfection” in your life – could be at home, in a relationship, or even something about yourself – that you could choose to embrace, rather than trying to hide it or fix it? Michelle: Right, good question! Okay, so maybe I'll start with this beat-up coffee table I've got. From there, I can work my way up to tackling my absolutely out-of-control email inbox. Small steps, right? Alex: That’s the way to do it! Just remember, wabi-sabi is really about letting go of this need to be perfect and instead finding some real peace, and why not, maybe even joy, in the whole process.