Alex: Alright everyone, let's kick things off with a question. Have you ever talked your friends into trying a specific restaurant? Maybe you've negotiated a deadline extension at work, or even convinced your kids to eat their veggies? If so, guess what? You're already in sales! Michelle: Hold on a minute, Alex. Are you saying that my toddler's epic tantrum before bedtime is actually a negotiation tactic? Because if that's the case, I'm updating my LinkedIn profile to Sales Executive immediately. Alex: Precisely, Michelle! It's one of the core ideas in Daniel Pink's book, To Sell is Human. Pink argues that we're all salespeople these days, but not in that old, pushy, used-car-salesman kind of way. Instead, it's a much more human-centered approach. Whether we're pitching ideas, trying to influence decisions, or just trying to resolve conflicts, we're always trying to move others in some direction. Michelle: So, no more sleazy sales tactics or aggressive hardball strategies? Just... helpful humans being helpful? That's a sales pitch I might actually be willing to listen to! Alex: Exactly! Pink breaks it down, showing how these skills aren’t just for people with “sales” in their job title. They’re actually essential for doing well in pretty much every aspect of life. What we’re going to dive into today is how "sales" has evolved into this universal human skill. And we’re going to tackle three key principles: attunement, buoyancy, and clarity. Michelle: Okay, "attunement" sounds like we're all becoming tuning forks. "Buoyancy" makes me think I need a life vest, and "clarity"... well, I might need some of that just to understand the first two. Alex: We’ll get there, Michelle, have no fear. For now, all you need to know is this: Attunement is about really understanding other people's perspectives. Buoyancy is about staying resilient even when you face rejection. And clarity is about making sense of all the overwhelming information around us. Michelle: I see. This is starting to sound less like a sales manual and more like survival tools for modern life. Alex: That's right, and Pink doesn't stop there. He talks about techniques like using improvisation to navigate unexpected situations, and he emphasizes servant-minded selling – where actually helping people and making a difference takes center stage. Michelle: Nice. So, less of the "sell me this pen" routine and more of a "let's work together to solve your problem" approach. That's something I can absolutely get behind. Alex: Exactly! It's about recognizing that every interaction is an opportunity – not to manipulate anyone, but to genuinely connect. So, are you ready to dive in?

Alex: Perfect transition, Michelle. Since we're talking about upgrades, let's rewind a bit and see how sales itself has evolved. It's fascinating because it impacts not just sales professionals but anyone trying to influence others—teachers, managers, healthcare workers, even parents. Traditional selling techniques just aren't effective anymore. Michelle: Exactly! Gone are the days when the salesperson held all the cards, and the buyer just had to trust whatever they said. If I told you I was selling a "barely used, vintage bicycle," you'd probably find out later it was missing a wheel. “Caveat emptor”, right? Alex: Absolutely, “Caveat emptor”—buyer beware—that was the rule for a long time. Sellers had all the information, putting buyers at a huge disadvantage. Being 'good' at selling meant being persuasive enough to close deals, even, dare I say, if you were bending the truth a little. Michelle: Ah yes, the birth of the pushy, manipulative, "snake oil salesman" stereotype. Back then, you'd want to double-check that "miracle potion" wasn’t just water mixed with… well, something questionable. Alex: Exactly, and that mistrust lingered. But then comes the internet era boom! Information is power, and suddenly, buyers have it. They can check reviews, compare prices, read expert opinions—basically do a background check on the seller before even talking to them. This triggers a massive shift from caveat emptor to caveat venditor. Michelle: Which translates to… seller beware? So now, it's the seller sweating under the spotlight, facing well-informed customers armed with data. Alex: Precisely! Sellers can't rely on half-truths or pressure tactics anymore. Transparency and trust are essential, and companies that embrace this shift often thrive. Take CarMax, for example. Michelle: Ah, the car industry—the poster child of shady deals under the old caveat emptor model. "Would you like the extended warranty or the mystery mechanical failure package?" Alex: Exactly! Traditional car dealerships often bred mistrust. But CarMax flipped the script. They introduced fixed pricing, provided upfront vehicle history, and created a no-pressure environment. The result? Huge success because CarMax aligned with the modern buyer's values of honesty and clarity. Michelle: So, instead of thinking, "How can I trick someone into buying this car?" CarMax is saying, "How can I make buying this car stress-free and fair?" That’s a paradigm shift—and honestly, it makes me less scared of buying a car. Alex: Exactly. And the lesson applies broadly: the most successful way to sell—or influence others—is to empower them, not manipulate them. Which brings us to another big idea: the rise of what Pink calls "non-sales selling." Michelle: Okay, this one confused me at first. How do you sell something without actually, selling it? Alex: Great question, Michelle. Non-sales selling isn't about money changing hands—it's about persuading, convincing, or influencing someone to willingly take action. Think of a teacher inspiring a student to love math or a manager persuading their team to adopt a new process. You're not exchanging money, but you're asking for time, effort, or trust. Michelle: So, it's like when I'm trying to convince my dog to stop chewing my shoes—I'm not selling him a product, but I am persuading him to change his behavior? Alex: Exactly, though I can't promise Pink's book has tips for canine negotiations. But take Norman Hall, a 75-year-old Fuller Brush salesman. He embodies this human-centered approach. He doesn’t just barge into offices to aggressively pitch his feather dusters. He takes time to build rapport, establish trust, even for a small sale. Michelle: Wait, so this guy's selling carpet sweepers when people can just have one delivered from Amazon in hours? Alex: That's the beauty of his approach! Hall shows that selling isn't just about the product—it's about human connection. People let him in and listen because he engages authentically. Sure, you could buy a brush online, but having Hall there in person, offering advice, building a relationship? That’s what sets him apart. Michelle: So, he's proof that even in the digital age, human interaction still matters. Or to put it another way, people aren’t just buying his products—they’re buying the experience he brings. Alex: Absolutely. And that’s just one aspect of the changes happening in sales. Consider the workplace trends Pink highlights—like how entrepreneurship, job elasticity, and growth in sectors like education and healthcare are turning almost everyone into a salesperson. Michelle: Are you saying even engineers and teachers have to “sell” now? Alex: In a way, yes. Entrepreneurship, for example, demands story-driven selling. Take Shamus Jones, the founder of Brooklyn Brine. His passion for artisanal pickles is obvious, but what makes people buy his product isn’t just the taste—it’s the story behind it, how he left the restaurant world for something more meaningful. Michelle: So today’s sales aren’t about the transaction; they’re about giving people something they can connect to. It’s not just a jar of pickles—it’s the picker’s journey, the local roots, the whole story. Alex: Exactly—because people want authenticity and connection. And that same authenticity extends to fields like education and healthcare, where persuasion and influence are part of the job description. Michelle: Gotcha. So, whether you’re a teacher selling the quadratic formula or a nurse convincing me to drink less coffee, you’re still engaging in what Pink calls non-sales selling. Alex: Right. And when you think about it, this shift is really about humanizing sales. It's no longer about getting people to say yes at any cost—it's about building a bridge to mutual understanding.

Alex: So, understanding this shift really sets the stage for the skills you need “now” in sales. And that’s where Pink’s New ABCs of Selling come in: Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity. They're not just tips, really—they're core skills that bridge theory and practice. It's essential stuff for anyone trying to influence people effectively. Michelle: Woah, hold up. The “New” ABCs? What happened to "Always Be Closing"? Are we just throwing Alec Baldwin's whole speech from “Glengarry Glen Ross” in the trash? Alex: Well, that's kind of the idea. The old "Always Be Closing" thing is all about pressure, urgency, tactics... it just doesn't work anymore. Not when buyers are so informed and have all the power. The New ABCs are about human connection—attuning to others, staying resilient, and being really clear. It’s way less about closing the deal and way more about connecting with people. Michelle: Okay, you've got my attention. Let's start with attunement. Sounds like we're doing, like, a crash course in emotional intelligence or something... or some kind of Jedi mind trick. Alex: Not “too” far off, actually! But it's more about being aligned than, you know, tricking people. Attunement is really about syncing up with someone—understanding their point of view, their needs, and even what they're “not” saying. It's based on perspective-taking, which is more than just empathy. Empathy is feeling what they feel. Perspective-taking is more like, "I get what you think and why." Michelle: Oh, so it’s less me sitting there going, “I’m so sorry that you’re sad” and more like, “Okay, what’s driving your decision-making here?” Alex: Right. Pink talks about this research on how power affects attunement. He mentions the "E Test." Imagine someone drawing an "E" on their forehead, right? When people felt powerful, they often drew it so “they” could read it, but backwards for everyone else. People who felt less powerful? They flipped it so “others” could read it. It's a great way of seeing how power gets in the way of really connecting. Michelle: So, feeling powerful makes you a little self-centered, basically. You forget how things look from someone else's perspective—literally. Alex: Exactly! And that's a huge problem when you're trying to be persuasive. Pink says to reduce your sense of power. If you go into a situation as an equal—or even as someone who’s learning—you'll be more aware and better able to see things their way. Michelle: But, isn't there a risk this becomes manipulative? Like, "I'm attuning to you so I can steer you where I want you to go." Alex: Right, but that's where authenticity comes in. There's a difference between mirroring someone to manipulate them and understanding them to make a real connection. And speaking of mirroring, Pink talks about the "chameleon effect." Subtly mimicking someone's gestures or tone... it can build trust. Studies actually show this works—negotiations went better when mimicry was used. Michelle: I knew it! So the next time I unconsciously use someone’s hand gestures, I can just call it a “relationship-building tactic.” Alex: Well, there's a catch! If it's obvious or feels fake, it backfires big time. People can spot insincerity, so it has to be authentic. Attunement isn't about steering someone; it’s about collaboration. Figure out their needs so you can “meet” them, not ignore them. Michelle: Okay, fair enough. Let's move on to buoyancy, 'cause rejection? Honestly, it's exhausting! I can see staying positive in sales, but in life? It's easier said than done when you're getting "no" after "no." Alex: Totally. And that's why Pink says resilience—“buoyancy”—is so crucial. He breaks it down into three phases: before, during, and after. Let's start with "before." He says self-talk is important, but it shouldn't be empty stuff like, "I got this!" He suggests asking yourself questions like, "Can I do this?" Michelle: Wait a minute. Wouldn't that just make you doubt yourself? If the answer is, "Nope, probably not"? Alex: Good question! But here's why it works: when you ask "Can I do this?" your brain actually starts looking for evidence and strategies. "Yeah, I can do this because I've solved similar stuff before," or "What if I try this approach?" It sparks motivation and gets you ready. Studies show this actually works “better” than just saying positive affirmations. Michelle: Okay, so instead of trying to pump myself up before a tough meeting, I just... interrogate myself a little? Sounds… exhausting. Alex: That's only step one! The "during" phase is where positivity becomes key. Pink uses Barbara Fredrickson’s "positivity ratio"—you need three positive emotions for every negative one. Being optimistic, yes, but also being realistic and finding chances in the moment to turn things around. Michelle: Hmm, that's easy to say until you're, I don't know, cold-calling for hours, and the only person who answers is a very angry cat owner. Alex: True, but that's where focus matters. Norman Hall, the Fuller Brush guy we talked about, stays buoyant by focusing not on the rejections, but the friendly little wins that keep him going. Michelle: And what about "after"? Because, honestly, negative feedback sticks like glue. Alex: That's where mindset comes in—the "explanatory style" Pink borrows from Martin Seligman. Optimists see setbacks as external, temporary, and specific. "The client said no because their budget's tight this quarter, not because I'm a terrible salesperson." It keeps rejection from feeling like a personal failure. Michelle: So, train your brain to bounce back and not take everything so personally. Got it. Now, let's talk clarity. Because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's making simple things sound complicated. Alex: Clarity is all about simplifying. Having the information isn't enough—you need to frame it in a way that makes people want to “act” on it. Pink mentions this study where employers valued "problem identification" “more” than "problem-solving." If you can reframe how someone sees a problem, you’ve already made it easier to solve. Michelle: So it’s like those moments where someone goes, “I didn’t even realize “that” was the problem until you put it that way.” Alex: Right! And Pink gives you ways to do this. The "Less Frame" is one of my favorites. Studies show people are more likely to decide when they have fewer options. Too much choice is paralyzing. Think about browsing 24 kinds of jam versus just six! Michelle: Right, the paradox of choice. Makes sense. What’s this about blemishes, though? Alex: Ah, the "Blemished Frame." It's a bit weird, but it works. Sometimes, pointing out a small flaw makes you seem “more” credible. Like an AirBnB host saying, "The bathroom's a little small, but it's cozy!" It makes the rest of the place sound even better. Michelle: It’s like saying, "I’m not perfect, but that’s why you can trust me." Okay, Alex, I’ll admit—these New ABCs are starting to make a “lot” of sense.

Alex: Okay Michelle, now that we’ve unpacked Pink’s New ABCs – attunement, buoyancy, and clarity – let’s dive into how mastering those skills actually translates into practical selling techniques. Think of the ABCs as the foundational principles, and these techniques are the real-world tools to apply them. It’s all about combining creativity, empathy, and adaptability to really connect with people effectively. Michelle: Alright, let me get my hands on those tools. Are we talking about hammering ideas into people's heads? Or maybe just throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks? Alex: Well, actually, innovation is a great place to start – in this case, innovative pitching methods. Think about how pitching has evolved. With so much information flying around and short attention spans, you need pitches that grab attention, are memorable, and above all, concise. Forget those endless PowerPoint decks. It’s about connecting with people in a real and impactful way. Michelle: So, no more death-by-PowerPoint, huh? What’s the alternative then? Performing a Cirque du Soleil act while pitching? Alex: Not exactly, but definitely more creative. Take Maurice Saatchi’s "one-word pitch." It’s about boiling your whole message down to a single word. Remember Obama’s "Forward" campaign slogan? That one word conveyed progress, optimism—a whole vision. It was simple, memorable, and powerful. Michelle: One word? Risky move. Imagine if his word was, I don't know, "Regret." Suddenly, not so inspiring, right? Alex: Exactly! The word has to really resonate with your audience and capture your message. It’s about something that people can immediately connect with on a deeper level. Then, there’s the Pixar pitch – it follows Pixar’s storytelling formula. "Once upon a time... Every day... One day... Because of that... Until finally..." It turns even dry concepts into compelling stories. Michelle: The good old "Once upon a time..." formula. So, you’re saying I can pitch a project at work like I’m pitching the next Toy Story? "Once upon a time, our team was drowning in spreadsheets. Every day, we battled data entry. One day, we discovered this AI tool. Because of that, our efficiency skyrocketed. Until finally, we're all home by 5 PM." Happy ending, the end. Alex: Spot on! The Pixar pitch isn’t just for Hollywood. It’s for anyone trying to make their ideas stick. By framing your pitch as a story with a clear problem, struggle, and resolution, you’re inviting your audience to see themselves in the narrative. It’s about engaging emotions and creating something unforgettable. Michelle: Okay, I like the story angle. Makes sense. But what if your audience throws you a curveball mid-pitch? You know, asks a question that completely derails you, or a client suddenly pivots their priorities? Alex: That’s where improvisation comes in. Not just for comedians, by the way. It's a skillset that anyone can use to adapt in real-time, and the core principles of improv can be a goldmine for collaboration and creativity. Like actively listening—improv calls it "hearing offers". It’s picking up on those subtle signals, verbal or nonverbal, that can guide your response. Michelle: Okay, test me on this. If I'm in a meeting and someone says, "This plan seems a little ambitious," my "Yes, and" response might be, "Yes, we recognize it’s a bold move, and that’s why we’ve built in multiple contingency plans to address potential roadblocks." Am I on the right track? Alex: You nailed it. "Yes, and" acknowledges their concern while steering the conversation toward a solution. It’s collaborative, not combative, and keeps the dialogue constructive. Compare that to "Yes, but," which, even if you agree, can come across as dismissive and defensive. And then there’s the improv principle of "making others look good." You’re creating space for mutual wins. When you lift others up—be it a client, a colleague, even a competitor—you’re fostering an environment of trust and collaboration. Michelle: All this makes sense, but can it actually work in hyper-competitive, high-stakes environments? Like when you've got two minutes to make your case and everyone’s stressed and cynical. Alex: Absolutely. Actually, the Tippie College of Business at the University of Iowa once challenged MBA applicants to submit a tweet rather than a traditional essay - just 140 characters. Applicants had to condense their sales pitch into a punchy message that highlighted their focus and creativity. One submission even used a haiku. Now that forces some quick thinking, much like improv in real life. Michelle: A tweet as an admissions test? That’s-- wait for it-- short and sweet. But it makes sense. Proves you can be impactful under pressure. Definitely beats the "Why do you want to join our program?" essay. Alex: Exactly. It’s just a more dynamic way to gauge adaptability and conciseness. Now, speaking of adding value, let’s talk about servant-minded selling—a technique rooted in service and empathy. Michelle: Servant-minded selling, huh? I guess that's going to be a lot less irritating than being upsold on warranties I'll never use. What exactly are we aiming at here? Alex: It's the opposite of upselling! Daniel Pink introduces the concept of “upserving,” meaning exceeding expectations and adding value based on someone’s actual needs. For example, a server might suggest a dessert they think that the cafe customer would genuinely enjoy, even if it’s not the most expensive item on the menu. Michelle: Okay, so not about maximizing the transaction, but about building some trust, right? But how does this work in, say, high-volume industries with paper-thin margins? Alex: It can work anywhere if you shift your focus to long-term loyalty rather than short-term gain. There’s a study that paints a point on this: In a Jerusalem hospital, radiologists started reviewing scans alongside patient photos. By seeing a real person, not just an image, their diagnostic accuracy improved. That connection meaningfully improved the quality of their work and the overall service. Michelle: Adding a face to the task made them more attentive to the outcome. That's powerful. It shows how connecting with people, even indirectly, can completely reframe your approach. Alex: That same mindset can apply far and wide. It's about seeing individuals, and not just transactions. Adam Grant’s study on hospital hygiene showed that reframing handwashing as a way to protect patients rather than just checking a box boosted hygiene compliance dramatically. Michelle: So, purpose over pressure? Got it. Honestly, this makes selling sound, well, less icky. Kind of refreshing; it’s about helping people, not pushing products. Alex: Precisely! And when these techniques - innovative pitching, improvisation, and servant-minded selling - are paired with the mindset that Pink champions, they become powerful tools for creating authentic, meaningful connections.

Alex: So, to wrap things up, Michelle, we’ve covered how Daniel Pink “really” rethinks selling for today’s world. We’ve talked about how selling has changed, you know, from those old, manipulative days where it was "buyer beware" to this new era of "seller beware," which is all about trust and being upfront. And it's not just for salespeople anymore, right? This whole idea of influencing others is now just a key skill for how we work, learn, and connect day-to-day. Michelle: Right, and that skill set is what Pink calls the New ABCs: Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity. Attunement—getting on the same wavelength as someone. Buoyancy—bouncing back when you hear "no," which, let's face it, we all do. And clarity—taking something complicated and making it simple and actionable. Forget those cheesy closing lines from the past. Now it’s about empathy, being able to adapt, and reframing situations. These are skills anyone can use. Alex: Exactly! And then we went into some very practical stuff—like the power of storytelling with the Pixar pitch, the creativity that comes from a one-word pitch, how to be adaptable through improvisation, and this concept of "upserving" rather than upselling. It's a subtle but powerful mindset shift. When we focus on genuinely connecting with people, on service, and on “really” understanding them, we move from just selling to them to making every interaction better. Michelle: So, “really”, selling isn’t about, you know, pushing something on someone, or trying to sweet talk them. It’s about being a decent human being who solves problems and just makes someone’s life a little bit easier. Alex: That’s “really” the heart of it, Michelle. If there's one big takeaway from today, it’s this: Selling is “really” just understanding other people, meeting them where they are, and building trust by helping them. Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, or trying to launch some big idea, these principles can “really” make a difference. Michelle: So, next time someone says, "Ugh, I'm not a salesperson," maybe remind them—or gently, you know, "pitch" them on the idea—that actually, we're all in the business of connecting with each other and moving each other forward. Alex: Exactly! Because at the end of the day, to sell “really” is human. And that’s something we can all embrace. Right?