Alex: Welcome everyone to today’s episode. We're diving deep into a book that’s both beautifully raw and incredibly thought-provoking: This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe. Michelle: You know, Alex, love and heartbreak – they're pretty much unavoidable, right? Either you've been through it, or it’s just around the corner. The real question is, how do we even begin to make sense of the chaos in between? Alex: Exactly! And that's precisely what this book addresses head-on. Priebe uses essays and reflections. taking us on an emotional journey, exploring not just love and heartbreak, but also self-worth, forgiveness, and how our failures can actually become opportunities for growth. Michelle: "Failure as opportunity for growth," huh? That sounds great in theory, doesn't it? Though, when you're wallowing with a tub of ice cream at 2 AM, it feels less like poetry and more like a punishment. I’m curious to see how Priebe manages to reconcile that idealism with the harsh reality of moving on. Alex: Right, and that's what makes this book so compelling. It offers an honesty that doesn't shy away from life's grays. It’s about learning to treasure love, even when it doesn't last forever, and gaining strength by embracing change and letting go of things that no longer serve us. Michelle: Which leads us to today's discussion. We're going to unpack five key themes from the book. First, we'll look at the complexities of love – that crazy dance between euphoria and agony that everyone talks about, but no one really prepares you for. Alex: Then, we'll delve into the art of letting go – what it really means to release something, not with bitterness, but with acceptance and, hopefully, a bit of grace, right? Michelle: After that, I’m keen to poke at failure – you know, the “great teacher” we never asked for. Is every failure truly a stepping stone, or are some just… deep potholes we stumble into? Alex: We'll also explore the power of self-love. And no, Michelle, that does not just mean bubble baths and spa days. Okay? It’s about grounding yourself in your own value and finding fulfillment from within. Michelle: And finally, we'll get into vulnerability – that precarious tightrope we walk when we open ourselves up to love, even knowing it could sting like crazy. Alex: Together, these themes create kind of a roadmap for anyone navigating the emotional rollercoaster of relationships and self-discovery. Let's explore how love, loss, and growth can make us stronger, even when the road ahead feels far from easy. Michelle: Alright, Alex, let’s dive into this book and see what pearls of wisdom – and maybe a little healthy debate – we can uncover.

Alex: Okay, so picking up from our intro, let's dive into the real heart of the matter: the oh-so-complex world of relationships. Love, as beautiful as it is, it's hardly ever as simple as those fairy tales we grew up with, is it? It’s way more than just finding someone who gives you butterflies; it's a daily decision. Michelle: Exactly! I mean, how many rom-coms have we all seen where people just magically click without putting in any real effort? But Priebe is super clear on this: love isn’t some passive thing. It’s a conscious commitment, a choice you actively make, and keep making, especially when things get, well, messy. Alex: Precisely. And that's also why she frames love as proactive, y'know, not just reacting to stuff. The whole idea of being swept off your feet can kind of overshadow the fact that love actually thrives on effort. It's about that commitment, especially with stuff like work and family piling on. Michelle: Okay, but tell me this: if love is a daily choice, doesn’t that sound utterly exhausting? Shouldn’t it, at least some of the time, feel, dare I say, natural? Like, I dunno, breathing? Alex: Well, it can feel natural and still require effort. Think of it like gardening. Yeah, things naturally grow with sunshine and water, but you still have to pull weeds, add fertilizer, and make sure everything's just right, right? Love's the same – it needs that kind of care. Michelle: Right, I get the garden analogy, but what do you do when it feels like you're constantly pulling weeds and never actually seeing any flowers? Like, where do you draw the line and stop "choosing" it? Alex: That's a tough one, and it really ties into another big idea Priebe talks about: embracing uncertainty. It's in those tough moments—when love feels heavy or just routine—that you kind of have to re-evaluate what the relationship means to you. Sometimes that uncertainty makes you stronger, but other times, it forces you to realize when it’s time to let go. Michelle: So, love isn’t just a garden; it’s also a gamble, huh? Fantastic. And here I was thinking uncertainty was something I only had to deal with when booking a budget flight. Alex: Absolutely a cornerstone, and honestly, it's kind of unavoidable. I mean, think about it: when you get into a relationship, you’re signing up to be vulnerable. And that comes with some discomfort – fears about whether it’ll last, whether you'll grow together or grow apart, y'know, even what life looks like if it ends. But Priebe says instead of running from all that, you have to lean into it. Michelle: Okay, so how does one actually embrace uncertainty? Because that sounds like willingly walking into quicksand and hoping you come out a superhero on the other side. Alex: Well, Priebe talks about practicing "present-minded love." Instead of getting caught up in the "what ifs"—what if we don’t work out, what if I get hurt—you really focus on the shared moments you have right now. Whether it’s having a great date night or just a really good conversation, those small, meaningful things help you stay grounded, which is where love actually happens. Michelle: "Present-minded love"—I like the sound of that. But don't you think, Alex, that obsessing over the present could also make people blind to the not-so-great stuff? Alex: It's a totally valid point, which is why present-minded love isn't about ignoring reality. It’s about balancing things – being grounded in the day-to-day happiness of the relationship but still keeping an eye on where it’s going. You want to treasure the good times and also know if the relationship helping you both grow. Michelle: Right, so it’s not about putting on blinders, but more about appreciating what’s in front of you while keeping the bigger picture in focus. I can see the value in that – even if it sounds easier than it is. Alex: Totally, but that’s what makes love so complex, right? Which neatly brings us to its cyclical nature—how it ebbs and flows. Think back to the early days of falling in love, when everything feels electrifying, and even boring stuff seems amazing. Priebe puts it really well: those moments create your foundation, but they don't last forever. Michelle: Ah yes, the infamous honeymoon phase. It’s like living in an indie film montage: road trip playlists, holding hands in the rain, finding joy in just… existing. But then the credits roll, and you’re left with a pile of dirty dishes. How do people deal when the magic inevitably starts to fade? Alex: Right, and that's the key – it's not necessarily that the magic disappears, but it changes. Couples often hit what Priebe calls "the inevitable decline." But it's not a failure, it's more like an evolution, one that asks both people to adapt and see their connection in a much deeper way. Michelle: Evolution sounds… noble. But all I’m picturing is someone watching their love life shrivel up like a dying houseplant. Are we talking about people just drifting apart, or is it their reaction to these transitions? Alex: It's absolutely how they manage those transitions. Priebe says those moments of friction—when the initial spark gives way to a routine—are actually opportunities. If you're both willing to step back, adapt, and really talk to each other, you can find a new connection, a redefined bond. It’s not about chasing the high of early romance, but really building a partnership that can handle whatever life throws at you. Michelle: So, instead of freaking out when the initial dopamine rush fades, we should see it as a reality check – and maybe a chance to build something more meaningful. But how do you even know if you’re genuinely evolving versus just stuck in a relationship because it's easy? Alex: That's where mindfulness and honest conversations come in. You need to recognize the shifts, figure out if they're helping you grow, and then make choices based on honesty, you know? Priebe “really” emphasizes that love isn't a static thing. It’s a journey, not a final destination. And sometimes that journey means learning when to let go with love. Michelle: Makes sense. So far, love sounds like a mix of heart-pounding risk, constant work, and, you know, learning when to cut your losses. No wonder people write entire books about it! Alright, let’s dig deeper into how all these complexities prepare us for the bigger lessons in love and letting go.

Alex: So, getting a handle on how love works really sets the stage for understanding how to deal with breakups and changes in relationships. Which is a perfect lead-in to our next big topic: “Letting Go and Personal Transformation.” This part of the book, Michelle, is all about what happens after a relationship ends—how we cope and how we change as a result. Michelle: Right, so we're diving into the messy stuff that happens afterward. What I like is that Priebe doesn't sugarcoat letting go. It's not some movie scene where someone moves on triumphantly. She portrays it as something deeply personal and, honestly, pretty uncomfortable—a necessary process of unlearning all those shared habits and dreams. Alex: Exactly. Letting go isn't about deleting someone from your life or pretending the relationship never happened. It's about, you know, recalibrating who you are. And it starts with one of the book's most important ideas: accepting that things end. Acceptance is key. Michelle: That's where people get stuck, though. Accepting that something is over feels wrong because we naturally cling to what we know, even if it's not good for us anymore. It's like trying to throw out your favorite old jeans, even though they're falling apart. You know you'd be better off without them, but it still hurts. Alex: That's a really good way to put it. But Priebe's point is that acceptance isn't giving up—it's actually brave. She tells the story of a woman who was in a really significant relationship for over ten years. From the outside, they had everything: loyalty, shared values, a great partnership. But as their goals in life started to go in different directions, it became clear that love just wasn't enough to keep them together. Michelle: That story really hit home for me. They didn't break up because someone cheated or there was some big betrayal—there wasn’t a bad guy, you know? They just outgrew each other. Which, to be honest, might make it even harder to accept. At least if there's drama, you have someone to blame. Alex: True, but that's what makes her story so powerful. She spent months dealing with her grief—not just over losing her partner, but also over the future they'd imagined together. Accepting it didn't mean forgetting the love they shared; it meant valuing their time together while realizing that staying together would have held them back as individuals. Michelle: So, acceptance isn’t just about being okay with the breakup itself—it’s about being okay with the “what could have been.” That's tough. I think people naturally want to keep replaying the best moments of their relationship, holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could have turned out differently. Alex: Exactly, and that's where you have to shift your perspective. Instead of dwelling on the "what-ifs," acceptance is about focusing on "what is." It's facing reality—choosing to embrace the present instead of getting stuck in the past. And, importantly, it’s about letting go of blame. She could have blamed herself or her partner, but instead, she chose to be authentic and brave. Michelle: “Brave” is the right word. Because breaking those emotional chains—especially when you've been holding onto them for years—takes guts. But what about closure? Isn't that supposed to help us move on? Or is it just a story we tell ourselves to make the ending feel neat and tidy? Alex: Closure isn't about tidiness at all, Michelle. Priebe illustrates this really well with the story of a man who was completely blindsided when his partner left him. He went into a spiral, obsessing over every detail, convinced that getting answers or an explanation from her would somehow bring him peace. But the more he looked for closure from her, the harder it was to find. Michelle: Ugh, the dreaded post-breakup autopsy—analyzing texts, replaying conversations, dissecting every little thing they did or didn't say. It's like putting your heart under a microscope and torturing yourself in the process. Alex: Right, and that’s why his realization was so important. He realized that closure isn't something someone else gives you. It's something you have to create for yourself. Writing that unsent letter was about organizing his thoughts, allowing himself to grieve, and expressing feelings he'd been holding back. That act of self-reconciliation became his closure. Michelle: So, closure isn’t a single “aha” moment; it’s an internal process. I like the idea of seeing it as a personal responsibility, not something your ex magically grants you. Alex: Exactly, which is why Priebe emphasizes things like journaling, mindfulness, and having a good support system. These things give you the space and structure to work through your pain at your own pace. Letting go isn’t about forgetting the past; it’s about changing how you carry it, so it empowers you instead of holding you back. Michelle: That really connects with her idea of transformation, right? Once you've accepted the ending and found your own closure, the next step is... rebuilding yourself. The actual growth part of the personal-growth equation. Alex: Yes, and it’s what Priebe calls “moving forward.” It’s when you take that empty space the relationship left behind and use it as a place to rediscover who you are. She gives the example of an entrepreneur who ended a relationship that was marked by a lot of dependence. At first, the breakup left her completely lost. But instead of staying stuck, she used her grief as fuel to launch a personal project—a memoir about self-discovery. Michelle: I love that story. It's like she turned her breakup into creative fuel, something that brought her closer to herself. That takes serious resilience—and maybe a little bit of spite, but hey, whatever works. Alex: If spite gets you started, go for it! But in her case, it wasn't about external success; it was about inner transformation. She wasn’t just moving on; she was moving forward. Priebe emphasizes that true growth isn’t about forgetting—it’s about reframing. It’s about finding meaning in the experience, which makes you feel stronger and more purposeful. Michelle: So moving forward isn't just "new haircut, new me" energy. It's a deeper shift. And I guess, eventually, that also makes room for new relationships, right? How do people go from transforming themselves to opening up their hearts again? Alex: That’s the next step—embracing new connections. It’s not a straight line, though. Old fears and insecurities often come back, especially if you've been hurt before. But Priebe argues that the lessons you learn from past relationships help you approach new ones in a more thoughtful way, with better communication and healthier boundaries. Michelle: I like the story of the guy who swore off relationships entirely after getting his heart broken a bunch of times. Then, out of nowhere, one good conversation at a coffee shop, and suddenly his walls start to come down. It’s relatable because it shows that no matter how guarded we are, connection has a way of sneaking in. Alex: It does. And for him, it wasn’t about jumping headfirst into another romance—it was about dealing with his fears and trusting that he had grown emotionally. New relationships have risks, but they also have potential. Priebe reminds us that love, even with all its uncertainties, is worth the risk. Michelle: So after all the heartbreak, letting go, and rebuilding, we’re still back at love—messy, complicated, vulnerable love. It’s like a circle, isn’t it? Alex: It is. But the great thing is that each time you go around the circle, you gain a little more wisdom, a little more strength. Letting go isn’t the end—it’s a beginning.

Alex: So, letting go kind of naturally leads to thinking about failure and how it shapes us, right? Once you've dealt with the end of something and started to rebuild, bam! – failure's right there, forcing you to face those uncomfortable truths and patterns that got you there in the first place. Michelle: Yeah, and let's be real, failure's not exactly a picnic to reflect on. It's messy, awkward, sometimes even brutal. But Priebe's take on failure as something transformative got me wondering... Is it really this enlightened stepping stone? Or are we so busy trying to make it sound like we're growing that we don't see how painful and paralyzing it can be? Alex: Exactly! That’s a really insightful point, Michelle, and that's why Priebe deals with failure the way she does. She doesn't sugarcoat it. It’s not just a "failure builds character" kind of thing. She really gets into how it shows the gap between what we do and what we believe in, and forces us to take responsibility. Michelle: Ah, personal accountability. The polite way of saying "owning up to your mess." Not everyone's a fan of that, let's just say. But that story she mentioned, about the woman who kept info from a colleague to get ahead? That stuck with me. It wasn't just a mistake at work; it was about how she was insecure and scared. Alex: Exactly. And what's really interesting is that she didn't just feel guilty, she really broke it down. She realized she was being deceitful because she felt like there wasn't enough to go around – that she had to undermine others to succeed. And that realization was a turning point. It wasn't about beating herself up, but about choosing to grow. Michelle: I like that – dissecting versus wallowing. But, playing devil's advocate here, even if she fixed things at work and decided on her values, wouldn't what she did still bother her? Does taking responsibility really mean being forgiven? Alex: Well, being forgiven isn't about everyone else just forgetting what happened. It's about being honest with yourself and using that new perspective to change. Priebe's tools, like journaling or talking to mentors, help keep those lessons alive. It’s not about deleting the mistake; it’s about making sure you don’t repeat it. Michelle: Reflection journals... I see the point, but do people actually use them? Or do they write for a couple of days and then forget about it once the emotions calm down? Alex: That's a fair question, Michelle. Journaling needs to have a purpose, not just be a rant. If you write about the "why" behind your decisions, not just what happened, you can find patterns. It’s not about blaming others, but about planning your next steps. And for people who prefer talking, Priebe suggests private chats with mentors. Michelle: I like that it's about action, not just thinking. But then there's the other side – the failures that don't just hurt; they scar. Like the guy who lost his community's trust with bad financial choices. That wasn't just a mistake; it was devastating, and the consequences were huge. Alex: Yes, exactly. It’s a perfect example of what Priebe calls "the dark side of failure." Not every failure leads to a quick fix. For him, feeling ashamed was paralyzing. What helped wasn’t some great revelation – it was accepting the discomfort and sitting with the guilt, even when it was too much. Michelle: That's different. Usually, you hear "shake it off" and "learn the lesson." But Priebe shows that sometimes, the lesson takes years to sink in. This guy had to rethink trust and responsibility on a really deep level. Alex: Right, and it wasn’t about quickly trying to fix everything. Instead, he let the pain change how he made decisions. Priebe’s methods, like mindfulness or positive self-talk, were really important here. They helped him understand that while failure affected his choices, it didn’t have to define who he was. Michelle: “I made a mistake, but I am not a failure.” Easier said than done, especially when your actions have “really” hurt people. How do you even begin to deal with that kind of shame? Alex: You start by separating what happened from who you are. That's where mindfulness comes in – giving yourself space to feel emotions without letting them consume you. And if the failure affects others, you can also try to make amends. It's not about erasing the mistake but about trying to fix the damage. Michelle: Making amends makes sense. It’s concrete; it gives people a way to atone. But here's a tricky one: not every failure has a happy ending. Some scars don’t heal. How does Priebe suggest we deal with those "unfixable" moments? Alex: By changing the story we tell ourselves. Redefining failure isn't about pretending it was a good thing all along. It’s about accepting it as part of your journey. She talks about the artist who kept getting rejected. At first, those rejections made her doubt herself. But by changing her goals – creating art that resonated with her personally instead of seeking outside approval – she found real, personal satisfaction. It wasn’t about success; it was about freedom. Michelle: That’s powerful, actually. It's nice to hear about someone redefining failure without turning it into some huge achievement. Still, I bet letting go of those original dreams felt like giving up on something precious before she could move on. Alex: It’s about recalibrating. Priebe talks about reframing things creatively and imagining a future beyond the failure. This way, you’re not diminishing the loss – you're transforming it. It’s like taking a detour on a road trip: the destination might change, but the journey continues. Michelle: And recalibrating expectations isn’t just about making yourself feel better; it’s about taking back control, right? By refusing to let failure define you, you get to choose what happens next. Alex: Exactly! Failure forces you to look inside, adapt, and ultimately, evolve. And that’s what Priebe's saying – whether it’s taking responsibility, embracing discomfort, or redefining success, failure becomes the backdrop for growth. It’s not about avoiding mistakes; it’s about getting better at bouncing back from them. Michelle: Alright, I’ll give her that: failure might just be the teacher nobody wants but everybody needs. Let's see where this evolution takes us next.

Alex: Understanding how failure contributes to growth naturally leads us to discuss self-love and forgiveness. When failure strips away the illusions we have about ourselves, or even about others, we're left with the raw, unvarnished truth. And that truth often reveals a glaring issue, doesn't it? We're generally much more compassionate toward others than we are with ourselves. Michelle: Oh, absolutely. It's somehow easier to forgive a friend who's stood you up twice, than to forgive yourself for mispronouncing, say, “charcuterie” in a meeting. Self-criticism? Relentless. But self-affirmation… that feels strangely indulgent, almost cringeworthy. Alex: And that’s exactly what Heidi Priebe challenges in her writing. She dedicates a good portion of this section to explaining why self-love isn't indulgence; it’s a necessity. Self-affirmation, in particular, is about deprogramming those internalized beliefs that say our worth depends on others’ approval. It's the radical act of saying, “I am enough,” you know, without needing the whole world to validate it first. Michelle: I get what you're saying. But, playing devil's advocate here, isn’t self-affirmation just a band-aid? Like, you look in the mirror, repeat some Pinterest quote – "I deserve joy," "I'm resilient" – and then... what? Does that actually uproot years of self-criticism? Or is it just planting a garden in gravel? Alex: It's a fair question, but it’s not just about mindlessly repeating words. Self-affirmation is about consistent, intentional practice. Think about the woman Priebe mentions, the one whose entire self-worth was based on her partner's good morning texts. When those texts stopped, her world nearly crumbled. It took deliberate self-affirmation – saying, “I deserve joy, not because of anyone else, but because I am enough” – to rebuild her emotional independence. Over time, she wasn't just saying those words; she believed them. Michelle: Right, so it’s about rewiring how we perceive ourselves, step by step. But why does it always take a crisis, like a breakup, for people to start rewiring? Why don't we build that emotional independence when life's good? Alex: That's the paradox of comfort, isn't it? When we feel secure, we're less likely to challenge the foundations of our happiness. It's only when the rug is pulled out from under us that we're forced to face the imbalance. But honestly, isn't that just human nature? Growth rarely happens without a little nudge. And when that nudge comes, self-affirmation becomes a tool in our recovery. Priebe talks about things like mirror exercises and gratitude journaling – not just to boost confidence, but to create a constant dialogue where self-love becomes habitual. Michelle: That mirror exercise… that one gets me. It feels like something out of a movie, you know? Character staring at themselves giving a pep talk before a big game or pitch. Do people actually do that in real life? I can just picture myself standing there awkwardly, like, "Hey, self... looking… resilient today.” Alex: It can be awkward, definitely. But that vulnerability is part of the point. It's about confronting how you really see yourself, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. It fosters compassion over time. When you actively acknowledge your efforts, your strengths, even just your presence, it chips away at that inner critic that's usually so loud, you know? Michelle: Okay, I can see the value there – assuming people stick with it. But that raises another question: let’s say you rediscover this inner strength through affirmations. Does that erase past failures? Or, do the mistakes you’ve made, the damage caused, still linger in a way that challenges self-love? Alex: That's where self-forgiveness comes in. Priebe doesn't sugarcoat it: forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others. It means taking accountability for your decisions, acknowledging any harm you’ve caused, but refusing to let guilt run your life. Think of the guy who kept canceling plans with his friend for years. When he realized his actions communicated indifference, it hit him hard. Instead of wallowing, he journaled to understand his motivations, wrote an unsent apology letter, and changed his approach to relationships. Michelle: Interesting that writing an apology letter he didn't send could be so powerful. I wonder if it’s about closure or control. By not sending it, he wasn't depending on someone else's forgiveness for his own healing. That feels... liberating, in a way. Alex: Exactly. The unsent letter becomes a space for reflection, not just validation. It lets you process regret internally, which is key in self-forgiveness. And by recognizing patterns in your past decisions – the why behind your actions – you can reshape those narratives. It’s why Priebe suggests things like decision timelines – they turn mistakes into lessons, not labels. Michelle: That’s compelling, but there's still an emotional hurdle in all this self-forgiveness: the fear of imperfection. I think people hold onto guilt because it feels safer than admitting they’re flawed in some way they can't immediately fix, doesn’t it? It's almost like imperfection is scarier than guilt itself. Alex: Which is why Priebe emphasizes that imperfection is an intrinsic part of being human. It’s not just that we’re flawed, but that we’re meant to embrace those flaws as opportunities for connection and growth. Like the young professional who bombed a presentation. Her self-worth tanked because she equated that one mistake with incompetence. But her mentor helped her reframe it, pointing out that mistakes aren't verdicts, they’re lessons. Instead of running from it, she examined her error and figured out she needed to ask for more help, which in the end made her much better overall. Michelle: So, owning imperfections isn’t about just shrugging things off, it's about curiosity. "What does this mess teach me about myself?" I like that, as long as it doesn’t veer into overanalyzing every little thing. I mean, nobody has time to turn stubbing a toe into a Shakespearean drama. Alex: True, there's a balance. But the main point is releasing judgment. Priebe even suggests compassion mantras – simple reminders like, "Mistakes mean I'm trying," or "Perfection isn't required of me." These phrases shift the inner dialogue away from criticism and make room for patience and grace. Michelle: That sounds practical. But I imagine it takes a lot of practice, huh? Compassion doesn’t just appear overnight – especially when you've spent years being your own worst critic. Alex: Exactly. It's a muscle you have to rebuild slowly. And that rebuilding is cumulative: through self-affirmation, owning your past decisions, and embracing imperfection, you create this foundation of resilience. Together, these things make self-love and forgiveness not just a possibility, but yeah, sustainable. Michelle: And this foundation isn't just for your own benefit, right? These shifts ripple outward, influencing how you show up in the world. Maybe even in your next relationship, career move, or courageous act. Alex: Absolutely. Priebe argues that loving others authentically begins with loving yourself – flaws, mistakes and all.

Alex: Okay, so we’ve talked a lot about self-love. Now, to really navigate the ups and downs of life, we need to be resilient in the face of emotional turmoil. That brings us to a core idea in Priebe’s work: vulnerability and authentic living. It’s all about that push and pull between fear and genuine connection. And honestly, embracing our imperfections can actually lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships. Michelle: Vulnerability, right. That thing everyone says is essential for connecting with others. But let’s be real, Alex, it's not exactly a walk in the park. Putting yourself out there, knowing you could get hurt? Not exactly a recipe for comfort. Alex: Exactly! And that's precisely why it takes courage. Priebe sees vulnerability as a willingness to care deeply, even when you know it might sting. There’s a woman in the book who built walls after a friend betrayed her and she was terrified of getting hurt again. But then, a new friendship nudged her to share her pain. Not only did she connect on a deeper level, but she also rediscovered the freedom of being authentic, risks and all. Michelle: Right. The risk is key. Choosing to care knowing you might get burned… it’s like playing with fire, emotionally speaking. But the interesting thing about her story is that sharing your vulnerabilities actually strengthens bonds, because people relate to your humanity, right? Alex: Spot on. Vulnerability goes against the idea that showing your true self is a weakness. It’s actually the opposite, Priebe calls it "emotional resonance"—that feeling of understanding and trust. And her book is filled with practical ways to build courage gradually, like slowly opening up emotionally and journaling. Baby steps, you know? You don’t have to spill all your secrets at once. Start with trusted friends and ease into it. Michelle: Gradual emotional exposure? Sounds like vulnerability with training wheels. Probably a good call if you tend to overshare or dive headfirst into emotional drama. But what if you're open, and the other person... isn't? Does Priebe have any advice for when being vulnerable feels like a one-way street? Alex: She does. She points out that vulnerability isn’t about controlling someone else’s reaction. it’s about showing up authentically. Tools like reassuring yourself ("It’s brave to be open, no matter what happens") can help you cope when your vulnerability isn’t returned. Michelle: Got it. So, basically, you focus on the act of being vulnerable, not the response you get. That's... interesting. It shifts it from being a transaction—"I share, you share"—to something more internal: "I share because that's who I am." Alex: Exactly! And that mindset prepares you to take the kind of emotional risks needed for deeper connections. Which brings us to another aspect of vulnerability Priebe explores: taking risks in love. Michelle: Ah, love. The ultimate risk-reward! So, it's not just about wildly throwing yourself into romance; it's about measured risk. Am I on the right track? Alex: You’re on the right track, but it is more nuanced than that. Even though you can’t plan for every emotional risk, Priebe isn’t saying to jump in blindly. She shares the story of a man who gave up on love after a bad breakup, thinking the pain wasn't worth it. He met someone new, reflected on his past mistakes, and intentionally tried to apply those lessons—not to guarantee a good outcome, but to give the connection a chance. Michelle: That story resonated with me because it portrays love as something real. That guy had to weigh his fears of being vulnerable against his desire for connection. He stepped in knowing the risks. Alex: Priebe has specific tools here – things like a personal SWOT analysis to gauge emotional readiness, or committing to share an insecurity early on, to create space for vulnerability. They’re not guarantees, but steps toward accepting imperfections in yourself and others. Michelle: That bit about imperfections really hit home. Relationships get messy because people get messy. But here's a question: When you're being vulnerable, is there a temptation to put on a polished front—especially at first—instead of showing the raw, unfinished version of yourself? Alex: Absolutely! That's why Priebe emphasizes embracing imperfections. Trying to be perfect creates distance, and she shares the story of a young professional who did just that. But when she finally showed some vulnerability after a personal crisis, her partner responded with empathy, not rejection. The honesty became the foundation for a deeper closeness. Michelle: It’s understandable though. You mess up, show a flaw, and worry about being judged instead of embraced. It's terrifying. Alex: It is, no doubt, but it’s also liberating. Priebe advises reframing our imperfections as part of what makes us human. And second, do small acts of vulnerability, like tackling a new challenge together. Nothing connects people like laughing over shared awkwardness. Michelle: Okay, I’ll admit it: those moments of shared imperfection definitely break the ice and build closeness. But what about timing? Priebe challenges the idea of “perfect timing,” especially in relationships. What does she say about that? Alex: Priebe’s take is that timing is often an excuse. People blame "bad timing" when the problem is something deeper, like fear of commitment or emotional unavailability. She talks about a couple who started dating during a chaotic time – one was moving abroad, the other was having money problems. They knew it wouldn’t last but still embraced the connection. They didn’t expect “forever”; instead, they valued the lessons and love they shared in those six months. Michelle: I like that perspective. Relationships don't have to last forever to be valuable. That's a hard pill to swallow for anyone raised on Disney movies, though. Any tips for embracing these kinds of connections, especially when you know they’re not going to last? Alex: Yes. She always recommends reflection journaling— focus on what you learned from the relationship, not how long it lasted. Another one is recalibrating your expectations. Learn to appreciate emotional impact rather than longevity. These changes help you see relationships as fluid, rather than defining success or failure. Michelle: That's a refreshing approach—taking away the pressure to measure relationships based on time. Instead, ask, "What did this teach me about myself?" Sounds meaningful, and a little scary. Alex: Scary because it requires honesty, but freeing too. By living authentically and appreciating imperfections, we make room for deeper, more human experiences. And that's Priebe's strength – she shows us how vulnerability, though risky, is the key to authentic living.

Alex: Okay, so as we wrap up our discussion on “This Is Me Letting You Go”, we’ve really covered a lot, haven't we? From the whole tangled web of love and relationships, to how much courage it takes to actually let go. And then, reframing what failure even means. Plus, really getting down to the basics of self-love and forgiveness. And finally, this incredible power of just being vulnerable and living authentically. Heidi Priebe's work is, I think, a beautiful reminder that love, loss, and growth are all deeply connected. Michelle: Yeah, I think what really stands out for me is just how honest and useful her thoughts feel. Love isn't some perfectly edited highlight reel. It's messy, it's uncertain, and honestly, sometimes it's just plain painful. But, like we've been saying, it's in those cracks, in those rough spots, that we actually build resilience. Letting go, facing failure, even forgiving yourself... It's not about striving for perfection. It's really just about making progress, right? Alex: Exactly! Priebe challenges us to just embrace the messiness, to really honor the lessons, even in those short-lived connections, and to show up for ourselves with the same compassion that we so freely give to others. I mean, letting go isn't the end of the road, it's more of a… transition, a doorway opening up to something new. Michelle: So, here's something to think about: whether you're dealing with a broken heart, facing a setback, or maybe you're just hesitant to really be yourself, to be vulnerable, what if you tried approaching each experience not as a judgment on who you are, but as a genuine chance to learn, to grow, and really, to live authentically? Alex: Oh, that's beautifully put, Michelle. And as we leave everyone with that thought, just remember that the path forward, as messy as it might be, holds just as much meaning as the past that you're letting go of. So, thank you for joining us for this exploration of love, loss, and what it truly means to grow through it all. Michelle: Yeah, until next time, keep asking yourself those tough questions. And dare I even say it... embrace the uncertainty? Because, you know, that's where the magic often happens.