Mark: Okay, Michelle. Think Like a Monk. Five words. Go. Michelle: Ancient wisdom, but make it Instagram. Mark: Ooh, spicy. Mine is: Your brain's a messy roommate. Michelle: Okay, I'm intrigued. Let's unpack that. Mark: We are diving into Jay Shetty's Think Like a Monk. And it's a fascinating case because Shetty himself is a bit of a paradox. He's a former Hindu monk who also has a management degree from a top business school. Michelle: Right, he traded his suits for robes, and then kind of traded them back to become this massive self-help figure. The book became a huge bestseller, but it's also stirred up some controversy about his background. Mark: Exactly. And that tension between ancient wisdom and modern branding is what we're going to explore today. It all starts with a very simple, but profound idea about who we think we are.

Mark: Shetty kicks off with a quote from a sociologist that basically says: "I am not what I think I am. I am what I think you think I am." Michelle: Whoa. That's a bit of a mind-bender. It feels like living in a hall of mirrors. Mark: It is. He calls it the "Looking-Glass Self." We spend our lives trying to live up to a perception of a perception of ourselves. And to illustrate this, he tells this incredible story from his time at the ashram. A senior monk, Gauranga Das, leads him into this one messy, dusty storeroom in an otherwise pristine monastery. Michelle: I'm picturing cobwebs and forgotten relics. Mark: Precisely. The monk leads him to a mirror so caked in dust and grime that Shetty can't see his own reflection. The monk then takes his robe and with one big swipe, wipes the mirror clean. A huge cloud of dust puffs into Shetty's face, making him cough and choke. Michelle: Ugh, I can feel that. Mark: And the monk says, "Your identity is like a mirror covered with dust. When you first look, the truth of who you are is obscured. Clearing it may not be pleasant, but only when that dust is gone can you see your true reflection." Michelle: I love that image. But what is that dust in the real world? Is it just other people's expectations? Mark: It's everything external. The opinions of our parents, the values pushed by advertising, the expectations of our friends, the noise of social media. Shetty argues we absorb this dust so completely that we forget it's not part of the mirror itself. He uses the example of the actor Daniel Day-Lewis. Michelle: Oh, the ultimate method actor. Mark: The very same. For the movie Gangs of New York, he trained as a butcher, only wore 19th-century clothing, and walked around Rome picking fights with strangers to stay in character. He even caught pneumonia because his coat wasn't warm enough. Years later, he admitted, "I will admit that I went mad, totally mad." Michelle: That's terrifying. He literally became the dust. Mark: He became the dust. And while that's an extreme example, Shetty's point is that we all do this on a smaller scale. We become "work-you" or "parent-you," and the lines get so blurry we forget who the actual "you" is underneath. Michelle: Okay, but isn't that what we all have to do? We're 'work-Michelle' and 'mom-Michelle.' Is that inauthentic, or is it just... survival in a complex world? Mark: That's the critical question. Shetty would say it's not about the conscious roles we play, but about the unconscious values we absorb. The problem isn't playing a role; it's when the role starts playing you. You start chasing goals that aren't yours. You value things you've been told to value. Michelle: And that's where the negativity comes in, I assume. The "cancers of the mind" he talks about. Mark: Exactly. Complaining, comparing, criticizing. He says these are the symptoms of a life out of alignment. When you're living someone else's definition of success, you're constantly comparing your life to theirs, criticizing yourself for not measuring up, and complaining about the gap. It's the sound of the dusty mirror. Michelle: That makes a lot of sense. It’s like your inner self is trying to tell you something is wrong, but it just comes out as noise. But I have to ask, given the controversy around Shetty's own story, with some people questioning how long he was actually a monk, does that change how we should see this advice? Mark: It’s a fair point, and one readers should be aware of. The book's reception is quite polarizing for that reason. But I think we can separate the messenger from the message here. The concepts themselves—the dusty mirror, the looking-glass self—are powerful psychological and philosophical ideas that stand on their own. The wisdom is ancient, even if the packaging is modern and, for some, debatable. Michelle: Okay, so let's treat it like a collection of ancient wisdom that he's curated. If we wipe away all that dust, what are we supposed to find underneath?

Mark: And that's the perfect bridge to the next idea. If our identity is buried under all that dust, how do we find what's real? Shetty says it's not about what you do, but why you do it. He breaks down human motivation into four categories. Michelle: Let me guess. Money, fame, power... Mark: Close, but more fundamental. He says we're driven by either fear, desire, duty, or love. Fear and desire are what he calls "lower values." They're unsustainable. You can't build a life on running away from something or endlessly chasing the next shiny object. Michelle: That feels true. It's exhausting. So what are the "higher values"? Mark: Duty and love. And this is where he tells one of the most memorable parables in the book. Two monks are by a river, and one sees a scorpion drowning. He reaches in to save it, and the scorpion stings him. He drops it, but it's still drowning, so he picks it up again. It stings him again. Michelle: This monk is not a fast learner. Mark: The other monk, thinking the same thing, asks him, "Friend, why do you keep trying to save this creature that is trying to harm you?" The first monk looks at his swollen hand and says, "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to save." Michelle: Wow. Okay. That hits hard. So dharma isn't a job, it's your nature. It's like your factory setting. Mark: That's the perfect way to put it. It's your intrinsic way of being. This is why Shetty quotes the Bhagavad Gita: "It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection." He says, "You can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are." Michelle: I like that. It's actually more freeing than the 'you can be anything' mantra we're all fed. It takes the pressure off. But that sounds profound, how does someone stuck in a cubicle, who feels their nature is definitely not filling out spreadsheets, figure out their 'scorpion nature'? Mark: By experimenting. He shares his own story. When he first got to the ashram, he was doing all sorts of chores—scrubbing floors, cleaning toilets. He didn't love it. But one day, a senior monk asked him to prepare and teach a class on a verse from the Gita. Michelle: Thrown into the deep end. Mark: Completely. But as he researched and prepared, he felt alive. He was fascinated by the psychology of communication. He delivered the class, and it was a huge success. In that moment, he realized his dharma wasn't scrubbing pots; it was studying ideas and sharing them. He found his nature through service and experimentation. Michelle: So it's about paying attention to what energizes you versus what drains you, even in small tasks. It’s not about quitting your job tomorrow to become a painter. Mark: Exactly. It's about finding opportunities to express your nature wherever you are. Maybe you're an accountant, but your nature is to bring people together. So you start a social club at work. You find a way to let your nature out.

Michelle: Okay, so we've deconstructed our identity and found our 'why.' But my mind is still a chaotic mess. My to-do list is screaming at me, my phone is buzzing. How do we actually do this? How do we build that monk mind in the middle of modern chaos? Mark: This is where the philosophy gets incredibly practical. Shetty uses an ancient Vedic analogy called the Charioteer's Dilemma. Picture your mind as a chariot. The chariot itself is your body. The five horses pulling it are your five senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. Michelle: And they're wild horses, I'm guessing. They want to run toward every distraction. Mark: Precisely. The reins are the mind, the driver is the intellect, and the passenger is the self, or the soul. In an untrained person, the wild horses—the senses—are in control. They see a notification, they hear a piece of gossip, and they yank the whole chariot off the path. The intellect is asleep at the wheel. Michelle: The 'drunken monkey' mind he talks about. I know that guy. He's driving my chariot most days. Mark: We all do. The monk's goal is to train the intellect—the charioteer—to take hold of the reins and guide the horses with intention. And the way they do that is through routine. This is the core of the monk mindset in practice. Michelle: So the 'monk mind' is like putting your phone on 'Do Not Disturb,' but for your entire brain. The 'monkey mind' is having 20 tabs open at once. Mark: That's a perfect modern analogy. And the key to achieving it is Shetty's principle: "Location has energy; time has memory." At the ashram, they woke at 4 a.m. every day. They meditated in the same place, ate in the same place, studied in the same place. By doing the same thing at the same time in the same location, they removed the need for willpower. The routine became automatic. Michelle: It's like building guardrails for your mind. You don't have to decide whether to meditate; it's just what happens at 5 a.m. in that specific corner of the room. Mark: Exactly. And this is backed by modern science. We know that multitasking is a myth for 98% of people. It just creates a 'dopamine hangover' that leaves us feeling scattered and exhausted. Single-tasking, a core tenet of monk life, builds focus. Creating a designated space for work, and another for relaxation, helps our brain switch modes. Michelle: So, we don't need to wake up at 4 a.m. and take cold showers, but maybe we should stop working from our beds? Mark: That's the takeaway. Start small. Have a specific chair where you read. Put your phone in another room for the first hour of the day. Create a simple evening routine to prepare for the morning. These small, structured habits are how you train the charioteer and tame the drunken monkey. It's not about a massive life overhaul; it's about building a system that supports your intention.

Michelle: So it seems the whole journey is a three-step process. First, realize your identity is a construct, a dusty mirror. Second, find your core motivation—your 'scorpion nature.' And third, build a daily system, a routine, to protect that nature from the chaos of the world. Mark: Exactly. And the most powerful part is that this isn't about becoming perfect. Shetty, despite the controversies surrounding his personal story, emphasizes that this is a practice. The goal isn't to arrive at a destination called 'enlightenment.' The goal is to learn how to drive the chariot, even on a bumpy road. Michelle: It’s about progress, not perfection. I think that's what makes these ideas feel less intimidating. You don't have to be a monk to think like one. You just have to be a little more intentional. Mark: The book is really a manual for intentionality. It's about moving from a reactive life, where you're pulled around by your senses and other people's expectations, to a responsive life, where you choose your direction. Michelle: It’s the difference between being a passenger in your own life and grabbing the reins. Mark: That's it exactly. It makes you wonder, what's the one piece of 'dust' you could wipe off your own mirror this week? Michelle: That's a great question. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Find us on our socials and let us know. What's your 'scorpion nature'? Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.