Mark: The average adult spends four hours a day on their phone. That’s not just a lot of time—it’s sixty full days a year. A quarter of your waking life. And the scary part? Most of it isn't even making you happy. Michelle: Wow, sixty days. That's an entire vacation, and then some. And for what? Likes? Endless scrolling through things we won't remember tomorrow? When you put it like that, it feels like we're sleepwalking through a huge chunk of our lives. Mark: Exactly. We're filling our time, but we're not feeling alive. And that's the central question behind the book we're diving into today: The Power of Fun by Catherine Price. Michelle: I love that title. It sounds so simple, but I have a feeling it's not. Mark: It's deceptively profound. And what makes Price’s take so compelling is her background. She's not a guru; she's an award-winning science journalist. She's been called "the Marie Kondo of Brains" for her work on digital decluttering. So she comes at this topic of 'fun' with data, with research, and with a healthy dose of skepticism about the easy answers. Michelle: Okay, I'm intrigued. A scientific approach to fun. So if we're spending all this time on what we think is fun, why does the book argue that so many of us feel, for lack of a better term, 'dead inside'?

Mark: That's the perfect question, because Price starts with a very personal and, I think for many, a very relatable rock-bottom moment. It wasn't some dramatic event; it was quiet and insidious. It started with a kitchen renovation. Michelle: A kitchen renovation? How does that lead to feeling dead inside? That usually just leads to dust and marital arguments. Mark: Well, it started innocently enough. She and her husband were doing it themselves, and she got really into finding unique architectural salvage online. Specifically, on eBay. She'd spend hours searching for vintage drawer pulls, antique hinges... you get the picture. Michelle: Oh, I can see this going downhill. It's a rabbit hole. One minute you're looking for a doorknob, the next you're an expert on 19th-century German hinges and it's 3 AM. Mark: Precisely. The habit stuck around long after the kitchen was finished. It became this mindless compulsion. And the moment of reckoning came late one night. She was up with her newborn daughter, feeding her. And as her baby is looking up at her, with complete love and attention, she realizes she's not looking back. She's scrolling through eBay listings for doorknobs on her phone. Michelle: Oh, that's a gut punch. That is a truly heartbreaking and, unfortunately, very modern image. The baby is giving pure connection, and the phone is stealing it away. Mark: She described it as an out-of-body experience. She saw herself from above and thought, "This is my life. I'm wasting it on things that don't matter, and I'm teaching my daughter to do the same." It was this horrifying realization that her phone had begun to control her. Michelle: But is it just phones? Or is there something bigger at play here? Because it feels like this 'dead inside' feeling predates the iPhone. Mark: You're right, it's bigger. The phone is the delivery mechanism for what Price calls "Fake Fun." Think of it as the junk food of leisure. It's easy, it's everywhere, and it gives you a quick, cheap hit. But it's ultimately unsatisfying and leaves you feeling gross. Michelle: What counts as Fake Fun? Is it just social media? Mark: It's anything that's passive, numbing, and ultimately unfulfilling. Binge-watching a show you don't even really like, endlessly scrolling through news feeds, even playing a mindless game on your phone. These things are designed by what she calls the "attention economy" to keep you hooked. They're like slot machines. Michelle: The slot machine analogy is perfect. You pull the lever—or refresh the feed—for that unpredictable reward. A like, a new email, a funny video. It's a dopamine hit. Mark: A tiny, unsatisfying dopamine hit. It's just enough to keep you playing, but it never fills you up. And while you're doing that, you're not engaging in what she discovered is the antidote: True Fun. You're consuming, not living. And that consumption, over time, creates that feeling of emptiness, that sense that your life is happening somewhere else, probably on someone else's screen. Michelle: So we're gorging on this Fake Fun, this digital junk food, and we're starving for the real thing. It's like we're emotionally malnourished. Mark: That's the diagnosis exactly. We're in a fun famine, and we don't even realize it because we're surrounded by things that are labeled 'fun'. The book argues that this isn't just a personal failing; it's a systemic problem. Our culture prioritizes productivity and achievement over everything else. From a young age, we're taught to build our resumes, not our capacity for joy. Michelle: That really resonates. Even our hobbies are supposed to be 'side hustles' now. Everything has to be optimized and monetized. There's no room for just doing something for the pure, simple joy of it. Mark: And that's the trap. We've been conditioned to believe that prioritizing our own fun is frivolous, selfish, or immature. Price quotes this great line that "comparison is the thief of joy," and our digital lives are built on a foundation of constant comparison. It kills our ability to be present and just enjoy a moment for what it is. Michelle: Okay, so our brains are being hacked by 'Fake Fun,' and our culture tells us that pursuing 'True Fun' is childish. That's a pretty bleak picture. How do we fight back? What does this 'True Fun' actually look like, and what does it do for us?

Mark: Exactly. It's junk food. And Catherine Price argues that what we really need is a nourishing meal. That's where her concept of 'True Fun' comes in. It's the core of her prescription for feeling alive again. Michelle: So what is it? Is it just, you know, going on vacation or going to a party? Mark: Not necessarily. It's much more specific and, thankfully, much more accessible than that. After her eBay epiphany, Price became obsessed with figuring out what that feeling of genuine, energizing joy was. Through her research and surveying over a thousand people in her 'Fun Squad,' she distilled it down to a simple, powerful formula. True Fun is the confluence of three specific ingredients: Playfulness, Connection, and Flow. Michelle: Okay, 'Playfulness, Connection, and Flow.' Can you break those three down? What do they actually mean in practice? Mark: Absolutely. Playfulness is the spirit of the experience. It's a lighthearted attitude, a freedom from judgment and self-consciousness. It’s when you're not worried about the outcome or looking stupid. You're just... playing. Michelle: Like a kid, basically. Mark: Yes, it has that childlike quality. Then there's Connection. This is the feeling of having a special, shared experience. It's most often with another person, but Price says you can also feel a connection to an activity, to nature, or even to a pet. It's that sense of resonance, of being on the same wavelength. Michelle: And Flow? I've heard of that concept. Mark: Right, it's from the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is that state of being completely absorbed and engaged in what you're doing. You lose track of time, your self-consciousness disappears, and you're fully in the present moment. It's often described as being "in the zone." When these three things—Playfulness, Connection, and Flow—happen at the same time, that's the magical state of True Fun. Michelle: That's a really clear framework. It takes 'fun' from this vague, abstract idea and turns it into something you can actually identify and aim for. Mark: And to make it concrete, she tells another great story. After her phone breakup, she was feeling that existential dread on the couch one day. She asked herself what she'd always wanted to do but "didn't have time for." And she remembered a flyer for a beginner's guitar class for adults at a local kids' music studio. Michelle: That sounds terrifying. An adult beginner in a room full of other adults who are also beginners. The potential for awkwardness is off the charts. Mark: She was nervous! But she went. And she describes how the instructor, Mister John, created this wonderfully low-stakes, supportive environment. They were all parents, all fumbling with the chords, laughing at their mistakes. She felt that Playfulness. She felt a Connection with the other students, this shared vulnerability and camaraderie. And as she focused on trying to get her fingers to play a G chord, she entered a state of Flow. Michelle: And the three came together. Mark: The three came together. She walked out of that class feeling energized, alive, and utterly rejuvenated. It wasn't about becoming a rock star; it was about the experience itself. That was her first real taste of True Fun after her realization, and it became her north star. Michelle: That sounds amazing, but a weekly guitar class feels like a big commitment for someone who's already overwhelmed. How does this apply on a smaller, more everyday scale? Mark: That's the beauty of it. The book is filled with examples from her "Fun Squad" that are much smaller. One woman described her family spontaneously forming a band in the basement during the pandemic—her on drums, her husband on guitar, their kids on bass and keyboard. They were terrible, she said, but they would laugh hysterically after every song. That's True Fun. Michelle: I love that. It's not about the quality of the music; it's about the shared, playful experience. Mark: Another person's peak fun memory was from high school, just squishing mud through their toes with a friend. Another was a 75-year-old woman who got into a state of flow during a virtual drawing marathon. It can be anything. The key is that it has those three ingredients. It's active, not passive. It's engaging, not numbing. Michelle: So the first step is just noticing. Maybe for our listeners, the challenge this week is to do a mini 'Fun Audit,' which is a tool she talks about, right? Mark: Exactly. The Fun Audit is a series of exercises to help you identify your own personal 'fun magnets.' You look back at past memories of True Fun and analyze them. What were you doing? Who were you with? What was the setting? You start to see patterns. Michelle: So you're basically becoming a detective of your own joy. Mark: A detective of your own joy! I love that. You identify what gives you that spark of playfulness, connection, and flow. And once you know what your ingredients are, you can start intentionally adding more of them into your life. It's not about waiting for fun to happen to you; it's about creating the conditions for it to emerge.

Michelle: So, what's the big takeaway here? Is it just 'have more fun'? Because that feels a little like telling a sad person to 'just be happy.' Mark: That's the crucial distinction. It's not just about 'having more fun.' It's about fundamentally reframing what fun is and why it matters. The most profound insight from the book, for me, is that fun isn't a result of happiness; Catherine Price argues it's a cause of it. Michelle: Okay, unpack that. Fun is a cause, not an effect. Mark: We tend to think, "I'll have fun when I finish this project," or "when I go on vacation," or "when I'm less stressed." We see it as a reward for enduring the hard parts of life. But Price's research suggests that's backward. True Fun is a fundamental human need, like sleep or nutrition. It's not a frivolous luxury; it's the very thing that generates the energy, resilience, and creativity we need to handle the hard parts of life. Michelle: So it's not the dessert. It's part of the main course. Mark: It's a vital nutrient! We've been sold a bill of goods with Fake Fun, this cheap, sugary substitute. And reclaiming True Fun—those moments of playfulness, connection, and flow—is an act of rebellion. It's a rebellion against the attention economy that wants to keep us scrolling and a rebellion against a culture that tells us we should always be productive. It's how we actually feel alive again. Michelle: I really like that. It gives it a sense of purpose. It's not self-indulgent; it's self-preservation. It's a way of taking back control over our own experience of being human. Mark: And it has a ripple effect. When you feel more alive, you're a better partner, a better parent, a better colleague. Price ends the book by imagining a world where we all prioritize True Fun, where we defuse tension with playfulness and focus on what connects us. It's a surprisingly hopeful and powerful vision. Michelle: It really is. So the first step is just noticing. Maybe the challenge for our listeners this week is to do that mini 'Fun Audit.' Just ask yourself once a day: 'When did I feel a spark of playfulness, connection, or flow today?' It could be for thirty seconds. It could be a joke with a coworker or listening to a song you love without distraction. Mark: That's a perfect start. Just become a detective of your own joy. Notice what lights you up, even in a small way. Michelle: We'd love to hear what you discover. Share a moment of your 'True Fun' with the Aibrary community on our socials. It might inspire someone else to find theirs. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.