Narrator: Sarah, a devout Christian, met David at a local coffee shop. The attraction was immediate. He was ambitious and charming; she was compassionate and kind. But as their two-year relationship unfolded, a fundamental crack in their foundation began to show. Sarah wanted to build a life centered around shared faith—attending church together, raising children within the church, and prioritizing charitable giving. David, an agnostic focused on his career and investments, respected her beliefs but couldn't share them. Their arguments grew from small disagreements about how to spend a Sunday into deep, painful conflicts over values, finances, and the future. Despite couples counseling, the chasm was too wide to bridge. They ended the relationship, a painful testament to a simple truth: chemistry is not enough to sustain a partnership when core worldviews are misaligned.

This painful disconnect is at the heart of the search for a life partner, a journey that author and relationship coach Stephan Labossiere addresses in his book, The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits to Help You Determine Your Life Partner. Labossiere provides a faith-based framework for women, arguing that finding the right partner isn't about luck or a passive wait for a soulmate, but an active process of personal preparation and spiritual discernment.

Narrator: One of the most discouraging beliefs for single women of faith is the myth that there simply aren't enough "good men" to go around. Labossiere calls this a "message of sabotage" that kills hope and faith. He argues that God’s provision is not limited by statistics or demographics. The real issue is not a lack of men, but a lack of personal readiness.

To illustrate this, he uses the analogy of a VIP club called "You Get a Husband." Women of God, he explains, have VIP access and can skip the long line. However, when they get to the front, the security guard asks for their "internal ID." This ID isn't something they can buy; it's something they must cultivate. It represents a deep understanding of oneself, healing from past wounds, and a clear sense of purpose. A woman who hasn't done this internal work—who hasn't healed from past trauma, discovered her God-given purpose, or learned how to hear God's guidance—will be turned away at the door, not because she isn't worthy, but because she isn't ready. The problem isn't the availability of men in the club; it's the lack of preparation to enter. Therefore, the focus should shift from worrying about scarcity to actively working on one's own healing and purpose.

Narrator: Labossiere outlines several foundational traits that are non-negotiable for a lasting, God-centered relationship. Chief among them is being "equally yoked." This goes far beyond sharing the same religious label. He presents a stark example: a Methodist married to a Jehovah's Witness. While both may be Christians, a crisis, such as their child needing a blood transfusion, would create an irreconcilable conflict due to their differing doctrines. Being equally yoked means having aligned core values that guide how you navigate life's most critical decisions.

Another non-negotiable is the presence of a genuine connection, which is distinct from simple chemistry. Chemistry is getting along well, but a connection is a deeper spiritual bond where two people feel at peace and can be completely themselves. Labossiere suggests a "road trip test": if you can't spend hours in a car with someone without the radio, TV, or other distractions and still genuinely enjoy their presence, you likely have chemistry, not a true connection. This connection is what provides the resilience to overcome challenges. Finally, while character is paramount, attraction is the necessary ingredient that transforms a platonic relationship into a romantic one. God, Labossiere asserts, desires a relationship that glorifies Him, which is impossible if it lacks affection, desire, and mutual respect born from genuine attraction.

Narrator: A central warning in the book is to avoid "dating a man's potential." Many women fall into the trap of trying to build a man into the partner they want him to be, a dynamic Labossiere strongly cautions against. He uses a powerful analogy of building a house. If you show up to the construction site with your tools and materials, ready to work, but your partner shows up with a lawn chair and a sandwich to watch you, you aren't building with him; you are building for him. This one-sided effort leads to exhaustion and resentment.

This ties into the critical difference between supporting a man and sponsoring him. Support is mutual and encouraging; sponsorship is a one-way investment that often enables laziness or a lack of ambition. A man who wants a "helpmate," not a "playmate," will be clear about his intentions. Mixed signals, inconsistent actions, and a desire to just "go with the flow" are red flags. Labossiere shares a story he overheard in a barbershop, where a man confessed he only married his wife because she was the one who "stuck around" while he was figuring his life out. He didn't truly choose her; he settled for her by default. The man God has for you, Labossiere insists, will choose you purposefully, not as a consolation prize. Any man who consistently disrespects you or requires you to be his "crutch" is not the one.

Narrator: Perhaps the most practical spiritual advice in the book challenges a common prayer. Labossiere tells the story of a coaching client, Patricia, who was frustrated that all her relationships failed. When asked about her prayer life, she said she always prayed, "Lord, remove him if he is not for me." Labossiere explained that this is the wrong prayer. It fosters passivity, encourages a woman to build emotional walls, and puts the responsibility entirely on God to act, while she waits.

The better, more effective prayer is, "Lord, show me if I should be dealing with this man, and if so, how should I proceed?" This prayer requires active participation. It demands that a woman listen for guidance, trust her intuition, and take obedient action. It transforms her from a passive spectator into an active partner with God in her own life. This aligns with the principle that "faith without works is dead." God provides direction, but it is up to the individual to walk the path. This active faith is crucial for discerning whether a man is truly for you or if you are being called to step away, not out of fear, but out of obedience to a higher plan.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from The Man God Has For You is that the journey to finding a life partner is fundamentally an internal one. The process is not about "waiting for Boaz" but about preparing yourself to receive him. The emphasis is less on finding the perfect man and more on becoming the whole, healed, and purpose-driven woman God intends you to be.

This shifts the entire paradigm from a frustrating external search to a fulfilling internal mission. The book’s most challenging and hopeful idea is crystallized in a client's story about meeting the "right person at the wrong time." A man she liked told her he wasn't ready and disappeared for a year, only to return a more mature and spiritually grounded person. Her initial anger gave way to prayerful consideration, and they began building a healthy relationship. This illustrates that God's timing is complex. The ultimate challenge, then, is not just to look for the right traits in a partner, but to humble yourself, embrace your own growth, and trust that becoming your best self is the only true way to be ready for the love that is meant for you.