Michelle: Okay Mark, another book on remote work. Give me your best, most cynical, one-liner summary of the genre. Mark: Easy. "How to pretend you're working while wearing pajama pants, a guide to mastering the art of the green dot on Slack." How'd I do? Michelle: That's painfully accurate for some books, but I promise, not this one. Today we're diving into The Long-Distance Teammate by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne Turmel. Mark: Okay, so what makes these guys different from the pajama-pants gurus? They sound like they should be selling ergonomic chairs. Michelle: Well, for starters, they co-founded the Remote Leadership Institute long before the pandemic made it a global scramble. They've been in the trenches of virtual communication for over two decades. This book is less about surviving remote work and more about mastering the human connection within it. Mark: Human connection? That’s a big promise when my closest colleague is my cat, and he’s a terrible collaborator. Michelle: That’s exactly the problem they tackle. They start with a really powerful distinction. They say there is a huge difference between just "working from home" and actually being an effective, connected member of a remote team. One is a location, the other is a state of being. Mark: A state of being. That sounds a little philosophical for a business book. I thought this was about productivity hacks. Michelle: It is, but the foundation is philosophical. The authors argue that we've gotten so caught up in the logistics—the Wi-Fi, the Zoom links, the project management software—that we've forgotten what it actually means to be a team. They make this great distinction between a "team member" and a "teammate." Mark: And what's the difference? Don't they mean the same thing? Michelle: Not at all. A "team member" is transactional. You're on the org chart, you get assigned tasks, you complete them. It's a functional relationship. But a "teammate," they argue, implies a social and emotional connection. You're invested in the people and the outcome. You care. Mark: I see. So a team member is someone who does the work. A teammate is someone who shows up for the potluck, even if the potluck is virtual and everyone just eats their own sad desk lunch on camera. Michelle: Exactly! And that distinction is the key to unlocking everything else. Because it leads to their most provocative idea, and honestly, the one that might make some listeners a little uncomfortable.

Mark: Oh, I like uncomfortable. Lay it on me. Michelle: They state it very plainly. "Engagement isn’t something that is done to you—it is something you choose to do." Mark: Hold on. That feels like letting bad managers off the hook. I've had jobs where the culture was so draining, it felt impossible to be engaged. My boss should be trying to motivate me, right? That’s part of their job. Michelle: It is. They're very clear that leaders have a huge role in creating the conditions for engagement. They can foster a great environment or a toxic one. But the ultimate decision, the final click of the switch to "on," is yours. You can be in the most amazing, supportive environment and still choose to coast. Or you can be in a challenging situation and choose to find meaning and connection. Mark: I'm still a bit skeptical. It sounds like a way to put all the emotional labor on the employee. "Feeling disconnected? That's a you problem, not a company problem." Michelle: I hear that, and it's a valid concern. But let's look at it from another angle. Framing it as a choice is actually empowering. If engagement is something that's done to you, then you're a passive victim waiting for your boss to make you feel good. You have no control. But if it's a choice, you have agency. You can take action. Mark: Okay, so what does that action look like? What does "choosing engagement" mean on a Tuesday afternoon when you've been in back-to-back Zoom calls and you're feeling completely isolated? Michelle: The book gives a great example with a story about a contractor named Allison. She works on a project team based in another city. Some days, she's on fire, super productive. Other days, she feels totally alone, like she's shouting into the void, and she can barely get anything done. She's experiencing that classic remote work paradox: total freedom and autonomy, but also crushing isolation. Mark: I know that feeling. It's the dream and the nightmare. You have all this freedom, but you're also completely alone with your problems. No one to casually bounce an idea off of in the kitchen. Michelle: Precisely. And what Allison does, instinctively, is what the book recommends. On her bad days, she doesn't just try to power through her tasks. She reaches out to the few teammates she has a good relationship with. She connects. She asks for information, sure, but she's also seeking that social and emotional connection. She is choosing to re-engage with the human part of her team, not just the task list. Mark: So the choice isn't some grand, motivational-poster declaration. It's a series of small actions. It's choosing to send a DM that isn't just about work. It's choosing to turn your camera on. It's choosing to ask someone how their weekend was and actually listening to the answer. Michelle: You've got it. It's about recognizing that connection is no longer a byproduct of sharing physical space. It's a deliberate part of the work itself. The authors say being connected is more than just having a good Wi-Fi signal. It's about being connected to the work, to your boss, to the organization's goals, and, crucially, to your fellow teammates. Mark: That reframes it in a way that makes sense. The job isn't just the task anymore. The job is the task plus the effort of maintaining the connection that used to happen for free. Michelle: That's the perfect way to put it. And when you make that choice, the book lists a bunch of benefits. You enjoy your work more, you see the bigger picture, you build stronger relationships, and you get noticed for opportunities. It's not about being selfless; it's a strategic choice for your own career and well-being. Mark: Okay, I'm sold on the mindset. But that brings up a huge practical problem. Even if I choose to be an engaged, proactive teammate, how do I actually do it when I'm just a name on a screen? It feels like my work, and my effort, can just disappear into a digital void.

Michelle: That is the perfect bridge to the second half of the book. Because a mindset without a skillset is just a nice idea. You need the tools to act on that choice. And this is where the book gets incredibly practical. Mark: Good, because I need practical. My mindset is ready, my skills are… questionable. Michelle: They tell this fantastic, and slightly painful, story about a guy named Hector. Hector is an experienced, confident project worker. He's always gotten great feedback, always been a top performer in the office. Then the company goes remote. Mark: Let me guess. It doesn't go well. Michelle: It's a disaster. He's doing the work the exact same way he always did, but suddenly his results are slipping. The feedback he's getting is negative. He's confused and frustrated because his tried-and-true methods are failing him. He's a victim of what the book calls the remote work paradox. Mark: The one you mentioned with Allison? Independence versus collaboration? Michelle: Yes. In the office, Hector's independence was balanced by casual collaboration. People saw him working hard. They overheard his smart comments. His manager could walk by his desk and see him focused. His value was ambiently visible. Remotely, all of that context is gone. His independence just looks like isolation. His quiet, focused work just looks like… silence. Mark: He's a ghost in the machine. He's doing the work, but nobody can see the effort or the intelligence behind it. That's terrifyingly relatable. Michelle: It is! And it's why the book introduces this concept of "Ethical Visibility." It's about making sure your work, your contributions, and your value are seen and understood by your boss and your teammates, without being obnoxious. Mark: Okay, "ethical visibility" sounds like corporate jargon for "bragging politely." How do you share your wins without being that annoying person who replies-all to every email with "Great job, team!" and a list of their own accomplishments? Michelle: That's the key question. It’s not about bragging; it’s about narrating your work. For example, instead of just saying "Task X is done," you might say, "Task X is done. I ran into a snag with the data, but I figured out a workaround that might be useful for the rest of the team on similar projects. Here's what I learned." Mark: Ah, I see. You're not just reporting the result; you're sharing the process and the value created along the way. You're making your thinking visible, not just your output. Michelle: Exactly. You're contributing to the team's collective knowledge. Another tip they give is to connect your updates to the team's larger goals. Instead of "I finished the report," it's "I finished the sales report for Q3, and the data in section two should give us exactly what we need for that upcoming client pitch." You're showing you understand the "why" behind your work. Mark: That’s a powerful shift. It moves you from being a task-doer to a strategic partner. It shows you're thinking about the team, not just your own to-do list. Michelle: And this all ties into the other critical skill: building trust. In an office, trust is often built on proximity and familiarity. You see someone every day, you assume they're competent and have good intentions. Remotely, trust has to be built deliberately, through evidence. Mark: What kind of evidence? Michelle: The book talks about a "Trust Triangle": common purpose, competence, and motives. You provide evidence of your competence by delivering high-quality work consistently. You show positive motives by assuming good intent in others and communicating transparently. And you demonstrate common purpose by linking your work back to the team's goals, just like we discussed with ethical visibility. Every action either builds or erodes that trust. Mark: It's like you have to be your own PR agent, but in a way that serves the team. You're constantly providing data points that say, "You can count on me. I'm here, I'm capable, and I'm on your side." Michelle: That's a fantastic way to put it. You're managing your professional reputation with every interaction. And it's why Hector failed. He assumed his reputation would just carry over. He didn't realize he had to rebuild it from scratch with a whole new set of skills designed for a world where no one can see you.

Mark: So when you put it all together, it's a two-part solution. First, you have to make the internal choice to be a "teammate," not just an employee who happens to work from their house. Michelle: Right, that's the mindset shift. The personal commitment to engagement. Mark: And second, you have to back up that choice with a specific set of skills—like creating ethical visibility and deliberately building trust—because the old office-based skills just don't translate. Michelle: Exactly. The choice to engage gives you the "why," and the skills give you the "how." And what this ultimately means is that remote work doesn't just change where you work; it fundamentally changes what the work is. Mark: What do you mean by that? Michelle: The work is no longer just the task on your plate. The work now includes the communication, the connection, the trust-building, and the narration of your value. That's all become part of the job description. It’s not optional fluff; it’s a core competency for success in the modern workplace. Mark: Wow. That's a profound takeaway. It's not about adding more work; it's about redefining the work itself. So, if someone listening wants to start making this shift today, what's one simple, practical thing they can do? Michelle: I love this suggestion from the book because it's so simple but so effective. This week, proactively ask your boss and maybe one key teammate this question: "To help me align my priorities, what would a successful week from me look like to you?" Mark: Oh, that's good. It's not needy. It's proactive, it shows you care about their definition of success, and it immediately creates clarity and visibility. It’s a trust-building action right there. Michelle: It is. It’s a small step that embodies the entire philosophy of the book. It’s choosing to be a teammate. We'd actually love to hear from our listeners about this. What are your biggest challenges with being a long-distance teammate, or what's one trick you've discovered that really works? Find us on our socials and share your story. Mark: I'm genuinely curious to see what people say. This is a universal struggle right now. Michelle: It truly is. And this book provides such a clear, empowering roadmap through it. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.