Daniel: The worst financial advice you can get? 'Follow your dreams.' It sounds inspiring, but for most of us, it’s a one-way ticket to financial ruin. Today, we’re talking about a better, more realistic path: 'dreaming medium.' Sophia: Wow, okay, you’re coming in hot. ‘Dreaming medium’ sounds… decidedly less glamorous. But honestly, it also sounds a lot less stressful. I’m intrigued. Is this about giving up? Daniel: Not at all. It’s about getting smart. This idea is at the heart of the book we’re diving into today: The Financial Diet: A Total Beginner’s Guide to Getting Good with Money by Chelsea Fagan. Sophia: Ah, The Financial Diet. I know the brand. It’s got this reputation for being finance advice for people who hate finance advice. Very approachable, widely acclaimed, but I’ve also heard some readers say it can be a bit polarizing. Daniel: Exactly. And what's fascinating is that Fagan started The Financial Diet as a personal blog to hold herself accountable after her own 'financial meltdown' in her early twenties. She’s not some detached Wall Street guru; she’s someone who’s been in the trenches of credit card debt and bad habits, which makes her perspective incredibly grounded. Sophia: Okay, that makes me trust her more. So where does someone who's been in the trenches even begin? When you’re staring at a pile of bills or a scary bank balance, it feels so overwhelming. It’s paralyzing.

Daniel: That paralysis is the exact starting point Fagan tackles. She argues the first step isn't about spreadsheets or complex software. It's a mindset shift. Her core idea is that saving money isn’t about depriving yourself. It’s about deciding you love your future self as much as you love your present self. Sophia: That sounds lovely in a motivational poster kind of way. But in practice, it often feels like punishing your present self. My 'Today You' really, really wants that expensive coffee and a new pair of shoes. How do you actually bridge that gap between knowing what’s good for you and doing it? Daniel: By starting with her own story of failure. It’s one of the most relatable parts of the book. As a teenager, right when she turned eighteen, a bank aggressively marketed a credit card to her at her high school. With zero financial literacy, she took it. Sophia: Oh no. I can see where this is going. This feels like a horror movie for your credit score. Daniel: It was. Within a month and a half, she had completely maxed it out on frivolous things, mostly clothes from Forever 21. When the first bill came, she couldn't pay it. So what did she do? She threw the credit card away, literally, and just started ignoring the collection notices. Sophia: I have absolutely done the 'ignore the scary envelope' trick. It’s a classic avoidance strategy. You feel this pit in your stomach, this mix of shame and dread, and you just think, ‘If I don’t look at it, it’s not real.’ Daniel: Exactly. She depleted her savings to cover other things and eventually defaulted on the card, completely wrecking her credit. It was a total mess. The resolution only came years later, at age 22, when she used her first real paychecks to finally settle with the collection agency for a lower amount. Sophia: That’s a rough start. But it’s also incredibly validating to hear. So many finance books are written from this pedestal of perfection. What was her first practical step out of that hole? Please don’t say ‘make a budget.’ Daniel: She’s with you on that. She says when you're a 'hot mess,' you need baby steps. So before a formal budget, she created what she calls her "Don't You Fucking Dares." Sophia: I love that. Tell me more. Daniel: They’re just a few simple, hard-and-fast rules to stop the financial bleeding. Things you are absolutely forbidden from doing. For her, it might have been ‘Don’t you fucking dare buy a clothing item that isn’t on a pre-approved list’ or ‘Don’t you fucking dare take a cab when the subway is an option.’ It’s about identifying your specific, most destructive habits and putting up a hard wall against them. Sophia: Okay, I can get behind that. It’s less about tracking every penny and more about building a few non-negotiable guardrails. My DYFD rule would definitely be: ‘Don’t you fucking dare order food delivery when there is perfectly good food in the fridge.’ Daniel: Mine would be about buying books when my ‘to-be-read’ pile is already a structural hazard. The point is, it’s personal and it’s a starting point. It breaks the cycle of shame and inaction without the immediate overwhelm of a full-blown budget. It’s the first step toward treating your finances with intention.

Sophia: That makes so much sense. You set up the guardrails to stop the immediate damage. But at some point, you have to do more than just play defense, right? You have to actually build something. Daniel: Precisely. Once you've stopped the bleeding with those basic rules, Fagan argues it's time to go on the offensive. And that means becoming the 'CEO of Your Life.' This has two parts: first, you have to be your money's 'asshole boss.' Sophia: An asshole boss? What does that even mean? My money already feels like my asshole boss sometimes. Daniel: It means you stop letting your money be lazy. You don’t let it just sit in a checking account earning nothing. You have to put it to work. This is where she demystifies investing. She frames it not as some high-risk casino game, but as a fundamental responsibility you have to your future self. Sophia: I’m with you in theory, but the word ‘investing’ just triggers anxiety for me. It feels like a secret club for rich guys in suits, and I don’t have the password or the capital. Daniel: Fagan gets that. She even tells a story about an expert she interviewed, Jane Hwangbo, who was a star analyst on Wall Street in the 90s. Jane described that world as being purely about winning, like professional athletics. She said it felt like "having sex without love, over and over again." She eventually burned out completely because it was so devoid of human meaning. Sophia: Wow. That’s a powerful, and bleak, image. So how does Fagan make it feel… not like that? Daniel: By making it incredibly simple and goal-oriented. She has a "Total Idiot's Guide to Investing." The first step isn't picking stocks. It’s checking if your job offers a 401(k) with a company match. If they do, you contribute enough to get the full match. Period. As one expert in the book says, not doing so is literally turning down free money. Sophia: Okay, ‘free money’ is a phrase I can get behind. That’s a clear, actionable step. It’s not about trying to beat the market, it’s about taking the benefits that are right in front of you. Daniel: Exactly. From there, it’s about opening a simple retirement account, like a Roth IRA, and putting money into low-cost index funds. The goal isn't to get rich quick; it's to let compound interest do its slow, steady, magical work over decades. Sophia: This is all great, practical advice. But I do have to bring up a common critique of books like this. Some reviewers feel they don't fully address the systemic barriers many people face—stagnant wages, crushing student debt, the gig economy. Does Fagan’s ‘CEO of You’ concept have an answer for the income side of the equation? Daniel: It does, and that’s the second, crucial part of being the CEO. It’s not just about managing the money you have; it’s about actively managing your career to increase your income. She advocates for doing an annual ‘Career Checkup.’ Sophia: What’s involved in that? Daniel: It’s a series of questions you ask yourself every year. Are you learning new skills? Are you networking? Do you know what your market value is? She tells people to use sites like Glassdoor to see if their salary is competitive. If it’s not, you have the data to negotiate a raise or look for a new job. It’s about treating your career not as something that happens to you, but as the primary engine of your financial life, which you are in charge of tuning up. Sophia: I like that. It connects the dots. Your job isn't just a paycheck; it's the main asset you have to manage. It puts the power back in your hands, even if the economic landscape is tough.

Daniel: Right. So you’ve got the mindset, you’re managing your career and investments. But as you said earlier, Sophia, so much of our money just seems to evaporate in the course of daily life. Sophia: It really does. For me, the biggest black hole is food. Between groceries I let go bad and takeout I order out of exhaustion, it’s a huge, embarrassing expense. Daniel: Fagan dedicates an entire, brilliant chapter to this, framed around a single, charming idea: you need to learn how to be your own 'Italian Grandmother.' Sophia: I want to be an Italian Grandmother! What does that entail? Besides wanting to feed everyone all the time? Daniel: It’s a philosophy of home economics. The Italian Grandmother doesn’t follow trendy, complicated recipes. She looks at what’s in the fridge and what’s in season and makes something delicious out of it. She cooks in large quantities and freezes leftovers. She wastes nothing. She knows that meat is a treat, not the focus of every meal. It’s about resourcefulness, comfort, and deriving immense satisfaction from simple, well-made things. Sophia: That is such a beautiful reframe. It takes budgeting and cooking from this place of sterile deprivation—like eating plain chicken breast and broccoli—to a place of warmth, abundance, and care. Daniel: Precisely. She includes a story about her partner’s grandmother in the South of France, Mamie, who makes this legendary roast chicken. When they asked for the recipe, her secret was just… using good, seasonal ingredients and not overthinking it. The chapter argues that mastering a few simple, go-to meals like a good roast chicken or a quiche is the ultimate financial power move. It’s cheaper, healthier, and often more satisfying than the $25 takeout you were about to order. Sophia: I’m sold on the philosophy. But what about the practical side? I’ve lived in tiny apartments where the kitchen was basically a closet. It’s hard to feel like a nurturing Italian Grandmother when you have one pot and a dull knife. Daniel: She covers that, too. There’s a whole section on the essential kitchen tools you actually need—not the fancy, single-use gadgets. A good chef’s knife, a large cutting board, a solid pot and pan. It’s about investing a small amount in quality basics that make cooking a pleasure, not a chore. The same logic applies to the rest of your home. Sophia: How so? Daniel: The next chapter is about how to feel good in the place you live. It’s about learning basic handiwork, how to thrift and upcycle furniture, and how to create a space that feels like a sanctuary. She tells a hilarious story about her first apartment, a room in a chaotic party house with a dead pig in the bathtub at one point. Sophia: A dead pig? Okay, you have to explain. Daniel: It was for a pig roast she wasn't told about! But her point is that even in that chaos, she took immense pride in decorating her little room. Because when your home feels good, you want to be there. You cook more, you invite friends over instead of going to expensive bars, you have a home spa day instead of paying for one. It’s all connected. Architecting a life you love to live is the most effective way to save money, because you’re no longer constantly trying to pay to escape it.

Daniel: It all comes together in a really holistic way, doesn't it? You start with the mindset of self-care, which gives you the courage to become the CEO of your finances and career. And you sustain it all by being a smart architect of your daily life. Sophia: It really does. The big takeaway for me is that this isn't about getting rich. It’s about building a life where money isn't a constant source of stress and shame. It’s about freedom. The freedom to leave a job you hate, to handle an emergency without panicking, to just… breathe. Daniel: And that freedom is built on small, consistent actions. If there's one piece of advice from the book that feels the most powerful and simple, it might be to just start talking about money. Sophia: Breaking the taboo. Daniel: Yes. Ask a trusted friend what they make, or how they handle their student loans, or what budgeting app they use. Fagan built her entire platform on the idea that these conversations are crucial. The shame festers in silence. Bringing it into the light is the first, and maybe most important, step. Sophia: That feels like something anyone can do, right now. We’d actually love to hear from our listeners on this. What's one 'Don't You Fucking Dare' rule you would set for yourself after hearing this? Let us know on our socials, we’re always curious. Daniel: It’s a great first step on the path to becoming your own, hopefully very well-fed, Italian Grandmother. This is Aibrary, signing off.