Narrator: Imagine being a senior executive at Facebook, the head of a multi-billion dollar payments division. You walk the floor of a major industry conference, ready to meet potential partners, but something strange keeps happening. Over and over, people greet you and your male colleague, only to turn their bodies, their attention, and their entire conversation to him, physically edging you out as if you were his assistant. After your keynote speech, these same people are suddenly desperate for your time. This isn't a hypothetical scenario; it was the reality for Deborah Liu. This experience reveals an invisible architecture of bias that operates in plain sight, subtly disempowering women in the moments that matter most. In her book, Take Back Your Power: 10 New Rules for Women at Work, Liu dissects this architecture and provides a blueprint for not just navigating it, but dismantling it, one rule at a time.

Narrator: The first and most crucial realization is that the professional world is not a meritocracy. It operates on a set of unwritten rules and systemic biases that disproportionately penalize women. From a young age, society conditions women to view power as a "dirty word" and to default to silence. This conditioning is reinforced in the workplace, where assertiveness in men is seen as leadership, but in women, it's often labeled as abrasiveness.

Liu illustrates this with the story of Naomi Gleit, a highly influential and long-tenured Vice President at Facebook. During a critical meeting, Gleit, who cared deeply about the topic, remained completely silent. When Liu later asked why, Gleit confessed that she didn't feel she had the authority to speak. This is a woman with immense institutional power, yet she had internalized the feeling of powerlessness. Liu’s response was a wake-up call: "Don’t give away your power. If you had said anything, everyone would have fallen in line." The system is designed to make women feel this way, but recognizing the game is the first step toward changing the outcome.

Narrator: Given the rigged playing field, it's easy for women to rationalize staying silent or invisible. Liu calls this "giving yourself a free pass"—the choice to not speak up, not ask for the promotion, or not take a seat at the main table. While it feels safer in the moment, it comes at the huge cost of your own power and influence.

A powerful example of the cost of this free pass comes from the career of Maeley Tom, one of the most influential Asian American women in California politics. For years, she served as the deputy to the Chief Administrative Officer (CAO) for the Speaker of the California State Assembly. She was so competent that she hired and trained three different men who became her boss in the CAO role. After the third one came and went, she finally approached the Speaker and said, "If I am good enough to train three CAOs, I should be good enough to be the CAO." The Speaker was surprised, not by her request, but that it had taken her so long to ask. He appointed her to the position, which she excelled in. Her story is a stark reminder that opportunities are often waiting for you to claim them, but you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

Narrator: Society often presents a clear, linear "map" for success: get good grades, get the right job, and climb the ladder. Liu argues that true fulfillment and impact come from tearing up that map and charting your own course. This means defining success on your own terms and embracing a non-linear journey.

Consider the story of Abigail Wen. By all external measures, she was a success, working in AI at Intel in Silicon Valley. But she had a secret dream: to write fiction that reflected her Asian American background. For twelve years, while holding a demanding corporate job, she wrote every night, producing four novels that were all rejected. Instead of giving up, she wrote a fifth, Loveboat, Taipei, which became a New York Times bestseller and was adapted into a film. She left her corporate job to become a full-time author and producer. Wen didn't follow a pre-defined path; she carved a new one by relentlessly pursuing her passion in the margins of her life until it became her center.

Narrator: Holding onto anger, resentment, or shame gives the past power over your present. Liu argues that forgiveness—especially self-forgiveness—is a radical act of reclaiming your power. It’s not about excusing bad behavior; it’s about freeing yourself from its emotional weight.

This is powerfully illustrated by the story of Rowena Chiu. In the late 1990s, she was sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein and then silenced for two decades by a nondisclosure agreement. She carried immense guilt and self-blame, attempting suicide twice. Her turning point came when she realized that her silence only benefited her perpetrator. She decided to break her NDA and tell her story in the New York Times. In doing so, she had to forgive herself for the shame she had carried. She explains that forgiveness is for the forgiver. By taking back her narrative and embracing the truth of her experience, she transformed from a victim into an advocate, reclaiming her power and helping countless others do the same.

Narrator: No one succeeds alone. Taking back your power requires a strong network of allies, mentors, and sponsors. While mentors give advice, sponsors use their capital—their reputation and influence—to advocate for you and create opportunities. Allies are the people who stand with you in the trenches.

Liu shares a story of being in a meeting to discuss a potential company acquisition. The CEO of the other company directed the entire conversation to her male product lead, P.J. Linarducci, completely ignoring Liu. Seeing this, P.J. didn't stay silent. He looked directly at the CEO and said, "She actually decides if we buy your company, not me." In that moment, P.J. used his position to correct the bias and transfer the power in the room back to where it belonged. That is what an ally does: they lend you their privilege and power until you can fully stand in your own.

Narrator: For many women, the biggest obstacle to their career isn't in the office; it's at home. The "second shift"—the unpaid labor of managing a household and family—disproportionately falls on women, even when they are the primary breadwinners. Liu states that the most important career decision a woman makes is who she chooses as her partner.

To combat the second shift, Liu and her husband developed what she calls a "swim lane marriage." Instead of vaguely "sharing" responsibilities, which often leaves the woman as the project manager, they divided up entire domains of household management. For example, her husband is solely responsible for the family's finances and their children's medical care. He owns it completely, from scheduling appointments to managing the paperwork. This eliminates the cognitive load and nagging that comes from one person having to oversee the other's tasks. It creates a true partnership, freeing up mental and emotional energy for both individuals to thrive in all areas of their lives.

Narrator: The ultimate expression of power is to use it to make a positive impact. Liu encourages readers to think about the end of their story—to literally write their own obituary—to gain clarity on what truly matters. This isn't a morbid exercise, but a clarifying one that helps define a personal vision statement.

Dr. CC Lee’s story is a profound example. While volunteering at a clinic in rural China, she witnessed a mother lose her newborn to asphyxia, a preventable condition. The baby’s death haunted her. In that moment, she found her life's mission. She said, "I knew I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to saving the mothers and babies like the one I couldn’t save that day." This vision has guided her entire career. She has since become a leading researcher in maternal and infant care, developing simple, low-cost tools like the "bili-ruler" to detect jaundice in newborns, with the potential to save millions of lives. She didn't just find a job; she found a purpose, and that is how she is making her mark.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Take Back Your Power is that power is not a finite resource granted by others, but an internal capacity that must be recognized, claimed, and exercised. It begins with the individual choice to reject silence and invisibility, and it expands outward through building alliances, redefining partnerships, and ultimately, living a life of purpose.

The book's most challenging idea is its insistence on individual action in the face of systemic problems. While we must fight for broader change, we cannot wait for the world to become fair. The journey starts within. So, the question the book leaves us with is not just for women, but for everyone: What is one "free pass" to stay silent or small that you have been giving yourself, and what would happen if you decided to tear it up today?