Michelle: Networking. If that word just made you cringe, you’re not alone. But what if the reason we hate it is because we’re all doing it wrong? What if the most powerful networkers are actually the most generous, not the most transactional? Mark: Oh, I definitely cringed. It brings up images of awkward conference rooms, lukewarm coffee, and forced conversations. That feeling of being a walking, talking LinkedIn profile. It’s the worst. Michelle: It is! And that’s the core question at the heart of Strategic Connections: The New Face of Networking in a Collaborative World by Anne Baber, Lynne Waymon, and their co-authors. Mark: Right, and this isn't just another book about collecting business cards. It was written in response to this massive shift we're all feeling—the move away from rigid hierarchies to what the authors call the 'Network-Oriented Workplace.' It's a very timely idea that got some really positive professional reviews for its practicality. Michelle: Exactly. They argue that in this new world, your ability to connect and collaborate isn't a soft skill anymore; it's a core competency. And it starts with a total identity shift.

Mark: Okay, but 'adopting a new networker identity' sounds a bit like corporate self-help jargon. What does that actually mean in practice? It feels a little abstract. Michelle: That’s a fair challenge. The book defines it as moving away from the idea that networking is about 'getting something' from people. Instead, it's about seeing yourself as a connector and a collaborator. It’s a fundamental change in your professional self-image. They have this incredible story that makes it crystal clear. Mark: I’m listening. Give me the story. Michelle: There was this high-tech company with 35 consulting engineers who worked on-site with clients. Management had a brilliant idea: they tied one-third of the engineers' annual bonuses to finding new or expanded work with those clients. They basically said, 'Go develop business.' Mark: A classic sales incentive. I can already feel the anxiety building for those engineers. Michelle: Precisely. At the end of the year, what do you think happened? Out of 35 engineers, only three earned the bonus. Thirty-two of them failed completely. They couldn't bring themselves to have those conversations. They felt like they were being pushy, sleazy salespeople, not engineers. Mark: Wow, so a simple mindset difference had a massive financial impact. The 32 engineers saw it as 'selling,' but the three successful ones must have seen it differently. Michelle: Exactly. The three who succeeded already had a 'networker identity.' They saw themselves as partners and problem-solvers. Asking a client, "What other challenges are you facing that we might be able to help with?" wasn't a sales pitch to them; it was just part of the job. It was a natural extension of their role as a helpful consultant. The other 32 were held back by the belief that networking is inherently fake or manipulative. Mark: That hits home. I think that’s the misconception most of us have. The book says only 20% of people are proficient networkers. The other 80% are held back by these exact beliefs. So how do they suggest we redefine it? Michelle: They offer a fantastic definition. Networking is the "deliberate and discretionary process of creating, cultivating, and capitalizing on trust-based, mutually beneficial relationships for individual and organizational success." Mark: Okay, let's break that down. "Trust-based" and "mutually beneficial" are the key phrases there. It’s not about a one-way extraction of value. Michelle: Not at all. It’s about building something together. It’s about realizing that, as they say, "business development is everybody's business." When you adopt that identity, you're not just an IT manager or an accountant; you're an IT manager and a networker. You’re a valuable node in the organization's brain.

Michelle: And once you have that identity, you need a map. The book offers a brilliant one called 'The Four Nets.' Mark: A map for your relationships? I'm intrigued. Michelle: It’s a way to visualize your entire relational world. They break it down into four distinct networks. First is your WorkNet—these are the people you interact with daily to get your job done. Your immediate team, your direct clients, your core vendors. Mark: Okay, that’s the obvious one. The people in my Slack channels every day. Michelle: Right. Then there’s your OrgNet, which is your network across the entire organization, outside your immediate team. People in different departments, different divisions, different locations. Mark: The people you see in the cafeteria but maybe don't know their names. This is where it gets trickier. I mean, who has the time to build that? Everyone's so busy. Michelle: The book has a great little story about that. A purchasing manager named Nancy made it a point to eat lunch in the company cafeteria two or three times a week, but with a rule: she had to sit with someone from a different department each time. She’d just ask about their work and their challenges. Within months, she had this incredible map of the entire organization. She knew who to call for anything and could anticipate problems before they even hit her desk. Mark: That’s so simple, but so effective. Okay, so we have WorkNet and OrgNet. What are the other two? Michelle: The third is your ProNet—your professional network outside your company. People from old jobs, members of professional associations, contacts from conferences. These are your peers in the wider industry. Mark: Your professional lifeline if you ever need to find a new job or benchmark what you're doing against the rest of the world. Makes sense. Michelle: And the last one, which I think is the most overlooked, is your LifeNet. This is your family, your friends, people from your hobbies, your alumni association, your kid's soccer team. Mark: It’s like a diversified investment portfolio, but for people. I get the professional ones, but I'll be honest, the idea of strategically managing my 'LifeNet' feels a little... icky. My friends are my friends, not assets to be leveraged for my career. Michelle: I completely understand that reaction. The book argues that you don't have to be transactional about it. The value often emerges organically, precisely because the trust is already there. They tell the story of two engineers, Bob and Juan. They met at an alumni golf tournament—a total LifeNet connection. They became friends, and years later, they realized they had complementary skills and decided to start their own engineering consulting firm together. Mark: Huh. So the connection wasn't made with a business goal in mind, but it created a business opportunity down the line. The point isn't to use your friends, but to recognize that valuable relationships exist everywhere, and you shouldn't build artificial walls between the parts of your life. Michelle: You've got it. A savvy networker understands that ideas, resources, and people can flow between these four nets. Your friend from your book club might know the perfect person for a role in your OrgNet. Your old colleague from your ProNet might have a solution for a problem your WorkNet is facing. It’s about seeing your relationships as a holistic ecosystem.

Mark: Okay, I've got the identity and the map. I'm ready to be a collaborative problem-solver, and I see my Four Nets. But how do I actually do it? What's the first step in a real conversation that doesn't feel awkward? Michelle: This is my favorite part of the book because it’s so practical. The authors say the currency you're trading in isn't favors or business cards. The real currency of connection is trust. And you build trust by communicating your character and your competence. Mark: And how do you do that without just saying, "Hey, I'm a competent person with good character"? Michelle: Through storytelling. Specifically, by mastering the answer to the most common networking question in the world: "What do you do?" Most of us answer with what the book calls a "Fog," "Blob," or "Cement" answer. We just state our title. Mark: Guilty. "I'm a podcast producer." It's a conversation-stopper. Michelle: Exactly. The book offers a simple, powerful tool to fix this: the Best/Test formula. Your "Best" is a single, concise sentence about the one thing you want them to remember. Your "Test" is a brief story or example that proves it. Mark: Okay, give me an example. Michelle: There’s a story about Keri, a Senior Manager of Utility Plant Construction. Her old answer was just that title—a total "Fog." Her new answer became: "I make sure construction projects stay on time and on budget." That's her Best. Then she adds her Test: "For example, at a wind farm going up in Oregon, our community education efforts just succeeded, and now the local residents are actually supporting the project." Mark: That is so much better! It's a story, not a title. In two sentences, I know she's competent, she cares about community, and I have a visual of windmills. I want to ask her more about that. Michelle: It completely changes the dynamic. It invites a follow-up question. It’s not a dead end; it’s an on-ramp to a real conversation. And it works for everyone. A finance VP went from "I'm in finance" to "I figure out how to come up with the money to build new nursing homes." It immediately shows her impact. Mark: That’s a brilliant, actionable tool. It’s about communicating your value, not just your label. Is that the main storytelling tool they offer? Michelle: That's the entry point. For more complex situations, they introduce the 5-S story formula: Segue, Situation, SNAFU (which is a great word for a problem), Solution, and Significance. It's a framework for crafting compelling narratives that demonstrate your problem-solving skills in a memorable way. It’s how you show, not just tell, your competence.

Mark: It’s fascinating. It all comes back to this idea that networking isn't about collecting contacts, it's about connecting with people through genuine value and storytelling. You're not trying to impress them; you're trying to teach them who you are and how you can help. Michelle: Exactly. The book's ultimate message is that in a collaborative world, the most strategic thing you can do is be human. It’s about building trust, sharing your story, and generously helping others share theirs. That's what creates real connections, and ultimately, real success. It’s not about being an extrovert; it’s about being a contributor. Mark: I love that. So the challenge for everyone listening is simple: The next time someone asks what you do, don't just give your title. Try the Best/Test formula. Tell a tiny story. Michelle: I love that. And we'd love to hear how it goes. Share your Best/Test answers with us on our social channels. Let's see what stories we can uncover together. It's a small change that can completely re-wire how you approach these conversations. Mark: A fantastic and surprisingly human-centered book. Michelle: This is Aibrary, signing off.