Narrator: What if the most fundamental, lifelong, and reliable sexual relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself? In an era that has seen a sexual revolution, masturbation often remains what author Betty Dodson called an "indecent little secret"—a source of private shame rather than a celebration of self. This profound disconnect is the central puzzle explored in Dodson's groundbreaking book, Sex for One. It challenges decades of social taboo by reframing masturbation not as a mere substitute for partnered sex, but as the primary, foundational sexual experience—a powerful tool for liberation, self-discovery, and profound pleasure.

Narrator: The core premise of Sex for One is a radical redefinition of masturbation itself. Dodson argues that society has wrongly relegated self-pleasure to a secondary, less-than status, a practice for when a "real" partner isn't available. She dismantles this idea, proposing instead that masturbation is the most original and constant form of sexual expression. As she famously stated, "I used to say that masturbation leads to sex, but now I know that masturbation is sex."

This insight grew from her own journey. After a sexually unfulfilling marriage rooted in traditional expectations, Dodson embarked on an "erotic evolution" during the feminist wave of the 1960s and 70s. She discovered that guilt-free masturbation was the key to her own sexual healing. It wasn't just a physical act; it was a dialogue with her own body, allowing her to understand her desires without pressure or performance. This personal liberation led her to a profound realization: the relationship with oneself is the most enduring love affair of a lifetime, a constant companion through youth, partnership, singledom, and old age.

Narrator: Dodson critiques the unrealistic ideals of sex and romance perpetuated by Hollywood and societal norms. These myths create a damaging expectation that true sexual fulfillment can only be found through a perfect, all-consuming love with a "fairy tale prince." This focus on an idealized external partner often leads to disappointment and prevents individuals, especially women, from taking ownership of their own pleasure.

Dodson shares her own painful experience of this trap. She married at 29, believing she had found her romantic ideal, only to find her sexual life become infrequent and unsatisfying. Her husband's quick ejaculations left her unfulfilled, and poor communication prevented any resolution. She resorted to secretly masturbating after he fell asleep, wracked with guilt and frustration. This experience revealed a toxic dynamic where marriage can become a transaction, with women trading sex for perceived economic security. Dodson argues that to achieve true sexual satisfaction, we must abandon the notion that there is only one "right" way to have sex and that it must always be tied to a romantic, partnered ideal.

Narrator: A significant barrier to sexual self-acceptance is the deep-seated shame surrounding our own bodies, particularly our genitals. Dodson tackled this head-on through both art and education. As an artist, she began creating erotic drawings, a process that helped her overcome her own internal censorship. Her first exhibition in New York in 1968 was a sensation, proving that the public was hungry for honest conversations about sexuality.

Her next exhibition was even more radical, focusing entirely on masturbation. This work aimed to destigmatize the act and promote self-love. This artistic mission was deeply personal. Dodson recounts a childhood memory of examining her own genitals with a mirror and being horrified by what she saw, believing she was deformed. For years, this shame inhibited her sexuality. It was only in adulthood, when a lover showed her pornographic magazines with a wide variety of vulvas, that she realized her body was perfectly normal. This transformative moment led to a core part of her work: a "genital show and tell" in her workshops, where women could see the beautiful diversity of the female form, dismantling the myth of a single, perfect ideal and replacing shame with acceptance.

Narrator: Recognizing that knowledge and community were essential for liberation, Dodson created her famous Bodysex workshops. She transformed her New York apartment into a "temple of lust," a safe and supportive space for women to explore their sexuality free from judgment. These workshops were not about abstract theory; they were about shared, practical experience.

The sessions included frank discussions, body appreciation exercises, and the "genital show and tell." One of the most impactful elements was the guided group masturbation ritual. Women would stand in a circle, and Dodson would guide them through a process of self-stimulation with vibrators, focusing on breath, movement, and sound. For many participants, this was a revolutionary experience. It brought masturbation out of the "darkest closet" and into a shared, celebratory space. The collective energy helped women overcome lifetimes of repression in a single hour, fostering a powerful sense of community and proving that they were not alone in their desires or their struggles.

Narrator: Sex for One is also a practical guide, emphasizing that orgasm and intense pleasure are skills that can be developed through practice and experimentation. Dodson encourages readers to create personal "rituals of self-love," setting aside dedicated time to explore their bodies in an erotic, sensual environment. This involves everything from relaxing baths and self-massage to using mirrors to appreciate one's own form.

She was also a vocal proponent of tools, particularly vibrators. She tells the story of her love affair with a powerful massager she nicknamed "Big Mack," which provided her with a new level of orgasmic intensity. The book includes stories from women who experienced their first orgasm at 48 thanks to a vibrator, or who used it as a tool to "re-sensitize" themselves to be able to orgasm with a partner. Dodson’s message is clear: there is no shame in using tools to enhance pleasure. Whether through fingers, vibrators, or fantasies, the goal is to learn what brings you joy and to practice it with intention and self-love.

Narrator: While much of Dodson's early work focused on women, she understood that sexual repression affects everyone. She eventually began leading Bodysex groups for men, discovering that their anxieties, while different, were just as profound. Where women often feared sex itself or their inability to feel pleasure, men were terrified of performance failure—premature ejaculation or the inability to get an erection.

In one powerful story from a men's group, a shared masturbation ritual broke down barriers of competition and isolation, leading to an experience of profound community and acceptance. The men realized they were not alone in their fears. The book also explores how these principles of self-love apply across all sexual orientations, recounting a workshop with gay, bisexual, and straight men that helped dissolve stereotypes and foster mutual understanding. By extending her work to men, Dodson reinforces her ultimate point: sexual self-discovery and acceptance are universal human needs, essential for everyone's well-being.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Sex for One is that self-love is the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling sexual life. Betty Dodson teaches that by embracing masturbation as a primary and positive sexual act, we can heal from societal repression, understand our deepest desires, and become better, more communicative lovers to both ourselves and others.

The book's most challenging idea is to view self-pleasure not as a private, slightly shameful act, but as a political one. It asks you to consider: What would change in your life if you treated your relationship with your own body with the same care, curiosity, and celebration you're taught to reserve for a romantic partner? By doing so, you don't just find pleasure; you claim your fundamental right to it.