Laura: Alright Sophia, if you had to describe the author Ruby Wax in one sentence, what would it be? Sophia: Oh, that's easy. A stand-up comedian with a Master's degree from Oxford who decided to write a user's manual for the human brain because, apparently, none of us got one at birth. Laura: That is spectacularly accurate. And that's exactly what we're diving into today: her book, Sane New World: Taming the Mind. It's this incredible blend of her razor-sharp wit and serious academic chops. Sophia: I mean, it’s such a fascinating combination. Most people know her from her TV shows or as a script editor for the iconic sitcom Absolutely Fabulous, but then she completely pivots. Laura: A complete pivot. She goes back to school, gets a Master's in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy from Oxford, and then an OBE from the Queen for her services to mental health. She’s not just talking about this stuff; she has lived it and studied it at the highest levels. Sophia: Which gives the book a really unique authority. It’s not just another self-help guru. Laura: Exactly. And her core argument is both terrifying and liberating: our brains are fundamentally not designed for the world we're living in. She says we're all walking around with hardware built for the Stone Age, trying to run the software of the 21st century. Sophia: And it feels like the system is crashing daily. Laura: Constantly. And that’s our starting point today—this idea of the great evolutionary mismatch.

Sophia: Okay, so what does she mean, our brains are 'not equipped' for modern life? It sounds a little dramatic. Are we all just doomed? Laura: It does sound dramatic, but she makes a compelling case. She says, and I'm quoting here, "We are simply not equipped for the 21st century. It’s too hard, too fast, it’s too full of fear; we just don’t have the bandwidth. Evolution did not prepare us for this." Our brains evolved to handle immediate, short-term threats, like a saber-toothed tiger. Sophia: Right, the classic fight-or-flight response. Laura: Precisely. But now, the 'tiger' is a constant stream of emails, a 24/7 news cycle of global crises, and the relentless pressure to perform. The book uses a great story to illustrate this, about a 45-year-old tech executive named John. He's got the high-pressure job, the demanding boss, the constant deadlines. Sophia: Sounds familiar to a lot of people. Laura: Totally. And the pressure just grinds him down. He starts skipping meals, losing sleep, becomes irritable. His relationship with his wife gets strained. Then he has his first panic attack at work, and eventually, he freezes during a huge presentation. He's what Wax would call 'normal-mad'—not clinically ill, but his mind is fraying under the strain of a life we've accepted as normal. Sophia: That's a chillingly relatable story. It’s the slow burn of modern stress. But Wax also argues it’s not just the external world, right? There’s something happening inside our heads, too. Laura: Yes, and this is where her personal stories become so powerful. She talks about how we all have this critical inner voice, a nagging parent implanted in our heads on an endless loop. She tells this wild story about her own childhood. Her parents were refugees who fled Austria, and her mother was deeply anxious and obsessive. Sophia: I remember reading this. This is the lampshade story, isn't it? Laura: The very one. She describes her mother perching on a lampshade like a vulture when guests came over, just waiting for them to do something wrong, like bring cookies into the house, and then she would just erupt. Sophia: That is… an image. A mother, on a lampshade, acting like a vulture. Laura: It’s both hilarious and heartbreaking. But her point is that we internalize those voices. The panic in her mother's voice became a part of her own inner landscape. So we have the external pressure of the 21st century, and then we have our own personal, internalized critic adding another layer of stress. Sophia: So we're basically fighting a war on two fronts: against the world and against ourselves. That’s what she means by being 'normal-mad'. It’s not a fringe experience; it's the default state for many of us. Laura: Exactly. And the book is filled with these sharp observations. She talks about our obsession with staying busy to avoid looking inside, our insatiable need for 'more,' and our tendency to get stuck in negative thinking. It’s a diagnosis of the modern condition. Sophia: Okay, so she’s painted a pretty bleak picture. We’re running on outdated hardware, our inner critic is the DJ, and the world is a non-stop rave of anxiety. Where’s the hope? Laura: The hope is the most powerful idea in the whole book. And it’s where we get into the science. She says, in all caps, "YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND AND HOW YOU THINK."

Sophia: That sounds great, but also a bit like a motivational poster. How, exactly? Is this just about positive thinking? Laura: It's much more concrete than that. This is where her Oxford studies really shine. The key concept is neuroplasticity. For a long time, we thought the brain was fixed after childhood. You got what you got. But we now know that’s not true. Sophia: Hold on, can you break down neuroplasticity? I hear that word a lot, but I’m not sure I could define it. Laura: Of course. The simplest way to put it is a phrase neuroscientists use: "Neurons that fire together, wire together." Every time you have a thought or perform an action, you create a neural pathway in your brain. The more you repeat that thought or action, the stronger and more efficient that pathway becomes. It’s like carving a path in a forest. The first time is hard, but the more you walk it, the clearer the trail gets. Sophia: So my habit of worrying about something until I fall asleep… I’ve basically built a superhighway for anxiety in my brain. Laura: You've built a six-lane, autobahn of anxiety, yes. But the flip side is that you can build new roads. You can consciously choose to think and act in different ways, and over time, those new pathways will become stronger. The old ones, from disuse, will start to fade. It’s like the brain is a muscle you can train. Sophia: I like that analogy. It feels less like I’m broken and more like I’m just… out of shape, mentally. Laura: That's a perfect way to put it. And Wax gives us a sort of "user's manual" for this brain-gym. She explains the "triple-decker brain" – the idea that we have three main layers that are often in conflict. There's the brain stem, or the 'reptilian brain,' which just cares about basic survival. Then there's the limbic system, the 'toddler brain,' which is all about emotion, pleasure, and fear. Sophia: And that’s where the amygdala, the brain's alarm system, lives, right? Laura: Exactly. The amygdala is constantly scanning for threats. And on top of all that, you have the prefrontal cortex, the 'CEO brain,' which is responsible for logic, planning, and self-regulation. Sophia: So it’s like my brain has a panicked lizard, an emotional toddler, and a stressed-out CEO all arguing in the same room. No wonder it’s so noisy in there. Laura: It's a constant negotiation! And chronic stress keeps the lizard and the toddler in charge, flooding our system with chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline. This is why we can't just 'think' our way out of anxiety. The CEO is offline. The goal is to learn how to calm the other two down so the CEO can get back to the controls. Sophia: Okay, so the brain can physically change, and we have this internal battle between different parts of it. But that still leaves the big question: what is the actual practice? How do we start building those new, healthier roads in the brain? Laura: That brings us to the heart of the book, and Ruby Wax's entire mission. The tool she offers, backed by a mountain of scientific evidence, is mindfulness.

Sophia: Ah, mindfulness. I feel like that word is everywhere now. And honestly, my first thought is always, "I can't do that." My mind is a circus. The idea of emptying it feels impossible. Laura: And that is the biggest myth about mindfulness, and Wax is on a mission to bust it. She says mindfulness is not about emptying your mind. The mind is a thought-generating machine; it's what it does. Trying to stop it is like trying to stop your heart from beating. Sophia: Thank goodness. So what is it, then? Laura: It’s about changing your relationship with your thoughts. It’s the practice of paying attention, in the present moment, on purpose, and without judgment. It’s about becoming an observer of the circus, rather than being the clown getting hit with pies. Sophia: I like that. Observing the circus. Laura: She uses a powerful Buddhist metaphor of the "two arrows." The first arrow is the actual pain or negative event—you get a critical email, someone cuts you off in traffic. That arrow hits you. It hurts. That's unavoidable. Sophia: Okay, I’m with you. Laura: The second arrow is the one we shoot at ourselves. It’s the judgment, the rumination, the self-criticism. "I'm such an idiot for making that mistake." "That person ruined my whole day." "I'll never be good enough." That second arrow is where the real suffering comes from. Mindfulness is the practice of learning not to fire that second arrow. Sophia: Wow. That’s a powerful frame. The pain is mandatory, but the suffering is optional. Laura: Precisely. And she offers a very practical tool for this, an acronym called R.A.I.N. It’s a four-step process for dealing with difficult emotions when they arise. Sophia: Okay, walk me through it. Let's say I'm feeling that wave of anxiety before a big meeting. What do I do? Laura: First is R - Recognition. You just notice and name the feeling. "Ah, there's anxiety." Just labeling it engages the prefrontal cortex—the CEO—and starts to calm the emotional toddler. Sophia: So you don't fight it, you just acknowledge it. "Hello, anxiety, my old friend." Laura: Exactly. Next is A - Acceptance. You allow the feeling to be there without judging it. You don't have to like it, but you stop resisting it. You remind yourself that all emotions are okay; it’s the story we attach to them that causes harm. Sophia: That feels hard. My instinct is to push it away. Laura: It is hard, which is why the next step is crucial. I - Investigation. You get curious. But not about why you're anxious. Instead, you investigate the physical sensation. Where is it in your body? Is it a tightness in your chest? A churning in your stomach? You just observe the raw physical data. Sophia: So you shift from the story in your head to the feeling in your body. Laura: You got it. And finally, N - Non-identification. This is the big one. You realize that you are not your anxiety. The feeling is just a visitor passing through. It's not the entirety of who you are. You create some space between "you" and the emotion. Sophia: R.A.I.N. Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, Non-identification. That actually sounds… doable. It’s a structured process, not just a vague instruction to 'be calm.' Laura: It's a mental workout. And the more you practice it, the stronger that "observer" muscle gets, and the faster you can move through these emotional storms without getting swept away.

Sophia: It's really a profound shift in perspective. The book starts by telling us we’re all a bit broken, running on this outdated, glitchy mental software. But it ends by handing us the source code. It says we have the power to debug our own minds. Laura: That's a perfect way to put it. The ultimate message is one of agency. It’s about moving from being a slave to your mind's automatic, fearful, and critical reactions to becoming its compassionate master. It’s not about eliminating the 'crazy,' but learning to tame it. Sophia: And the science she presents is so empowering. The fact that a trained mind is physically different from an untrained mind—that our brains have more grey matter, better connections, a calmer amygdala—that’s not just philosophy, that’s biology. Laura: It is. And it makes the practice feel so much more concrete. You're not just wishing for peace; you're actively building the neural architecture for it. And it doesn't require some grand, life-altering retreat. Sophia: Right, she talks about these tiny interventions. Laura: Exactly. Which brings us to a really simple takeaway for our listeners. If all of this sounds like a lot, Wax suggests starting with what she calls the 'Five Seconds' exercise. The next time you feel that wave of stress or notice your mind racing, just stop what you're doing. For five seconds. And just notice. Sophia: Just notice? That’s it? Laura: That’s it. Notice your breath. Notice the feeling of your feet on the floor. Notice the sounds around you. That tiny pause is the beginning of mindfulness. It's the first step in breaking the automatic pilot and choosing to be present. Sophia: I love that. It’s so simple. I think we can all find five seconds. And for our listeners, we’re so curious—what are your own 'five-second' tricks? What are the small things you do to tame your own mind when it feels like a circus? Let us know and join the conversation in our community. Laura: It’s a journey we're all on. Ruby Wax just gave us a much funnier, smarter, and more hopeful map. Sophia: This is Aibrary, signing off.