Michelle: What if the best way to fight gender bias at work wasn't to fight it at all, but to ignore it? Mark: That sounds… completely counter-intuitive. And maybe a little dangerous. Michelle: It does, but today we’re exploring a book by a Silicon Valley pioneer who argues that sometimes, the most powerful move is to act like the obstacle isn't even there. We're diving into Power Up: How Smart Women Win in the New Economy by Magdalena Yeşil. Mark: And Yeşil isn't just any author. She's a Turkish immigrant of Armenian heritage who arrived in the US with very little, became a trailblazing engineer, and was the very first investor in Salesforce. When she talks about being an outsider, she's lived it. Michelle: Exactly. And that experience shapes her entire philosophy, which starts with a truly unforgettable story. It all begins with a moment that sounds like a workplace nightmare, but for her, it was a moment of accidental genius. It's called 'The Woman in the Men's Room.'

Mark: Okay, you have my full attention. 'The Woman in the Men's Room'? This sounds like the beginning of an HR incident report. Michelle: You would think! So, picture this. Magdalena is the only woman on a company's board of directors. They're in a super-heated, 'bet the company' discussion. It's intense. They take a short break, and the men start walking out of the boardroom, still arguing the point. Mark: Standard stuff so far. Michelle: Right. But Magdalena is so engrossed in making her case, she follows them, still talking, gesturing, completely in the zone. She walks with them down the hall, through a door, and keeps making her point... until she looks up and realizes she has followed them directly into the men's restroom. Which is… occupied. Mark: Oh no. You're kidding me! She just kept talking? What did she do? Michelle: This is the key. She doesn't miss a beat. She doesn't blush, she doesn't apologize, she doesn't even acknowledge where she is. She finishes her sentence, gives a firm nod, turns around, and walks out. Mark: That is an unbelievable level of composure. I would have spontaneously combusted. What happened when they went back to the meeting? Michelle: This is the brilliant part. When the board reconvenes, the men admit they were so taken aback by her unruffled demeanor—her sheer confidence that she belonged in any room where the conversation was happening—that they didn't even discuss the company issue. The incident completely broke the tension and they were able to have a much more productive conversation afterward. Mark: Wow. So her acting like it wasn't a big deal made it… not a big deal. In fact, it made it a power move. Michelle: Exactly. It's the core of her 'Power UP' philosophy. It's about acting as if you belong everywhere, because you do. But this leads to a more controversial point in the book. Mark: I was waiting for this. Okay, that's a great story, but is the advice really to ignore sexism? That feels... problematic. Doesn't that let the system off the hook? It sounds a bit like telling people to just 'lean in' to a burning building. Michelle: It's a fair question, and one the book addresses. It's not about denying that systemic barriers exist. It's a psychological strategy for maintaining your own agency. She tells another story about being at a G20 Innovation Summit. Someone asks her about the challenges of being a woman in Silicon Valley. She says, honestly, it's opened doors for her. Mark: Which probably didn't go over well with everyone. Michelle: Right. Another panelist, a German researcher, immediately pulls up slides with all the grim statistics about the barriers women face. But afterward, that same researcher came up to Magdalena and said something profound. He observed that her success might be precisely because she ignores those statistics. She proceeds as if she has an equal, or even greater, chance of success, and so she does. Mark: Huh. So it's about managing your own internal narrative. You can't control the bias, but you can control whether you let the awareness of that bias paralyze you. Michelle: You've got it. It's about not seeing yourself as a victim. The moment you do, you've already lost. She connects this to a Turkish saying her father told her when she left home for America: "May you be like water—easily flowing past any obstacle." It’s not about crashing against the rock of sexism; it’s about flowing around it to get where you need to go. Mark: 'Flowing like water.' I like that. It’s about being adaptable and resilient, not naive. Okay, so it's about an internal mindset. But how do you translate that inner confidence into outward action without being labeled... well, you know the word. The book has a fantastic term for this.

Michelle: It does. And it's my favorite phrase from the entire book. She calls it the "delicious eff-you attitude." Mark: A delicious eff-you attitude! That's amazing. It sounds both aggressive and delightful. What does it mean in practice? Michelle: It’s audacity balanced with grace. It’s the ability to be bold and assertive, but in a way that isn't alienating. She learned this early in her career. In her first engineering job, she had to present a design to a review team, and they just tore it apart. Absolutely shredded her work. Mark: Ouch. That's a confidence-killer, especially early on. Michelle: For most people, yes. But Magdalena just sat there, listened calmly, took notes, and maintained this positive, unruffled demeanor. Afterward, her boss pulled her aside and said, "Magdalena, I don’t know where you got that delicious eff-you attitude, but I like it. You don’t let anything get to you!" Mark: So the 'eff-you' part wasn't yelling back. It was the inner resilience to not let their criticism define her. The 'delicious' part was her calm, professional exterior. Michelle: Precisely. It’s confidence that isn't brittle. But it's also about proactively using that audacity. My favorite story of this is when she wanted to get her company, CyberCash, on the map. She needed to get into a hyper-exclusive tech conference called AGENDA, run by a guy named Stewart Alsop. Mark: And I'm guessing she wasn't on the invite list. Michelle: Not a chance. She was a founder of a tiny, unknown company. So during a meeting with Alsop, she just blurts out, "I want to be a speaker at your conference." And then, for good measure, she adds, "It would be a great birthday present." Mark: She asked to speak at a top conference... for her birthday? That's brilliant! It's so audacious it's almost disarming. What did he say? Michelle: He was probably a bit stunned, but six months later, after her company had made some progress, he called her. He remembered the conversation and invited her to be a panelist. She got in. Mark: That's a perfect example of the book's point that "credit isn't given, it's taken." Or in this case, a speaking slot isn't given, it's asked for. Boldly. But you said this has to be balanced with something else? Michelle: Yes, and this is crucial. She says what makes the attitude 'delicious' is gratitude. She believes her experience as an immigrant, being grateful for the opportunities she had, prevented her audacity from tipping into arrogance or entitlement. It kept her humble and open, which made people want to help her. It’s a combination she calls "humbition"—humility plus ambition. Mark: Humbition. I like that. It’s a powerful combination. It’s not just about being bold; it’s about being bold in a way that enrolls people in your vision. Michelle: And that audacity isn't just for founders. Yeşil makes a powerful case that you can—and should—be the boss of your career even if you never start your own company. This is the idea of 'intrapreneurship.'

Mark: This is the most practical part for me. The Silicon Valley narrative is so focused on the heroic founder, but most people work for someone else. The idea that you can be an entrepreneur inside a big company is a game-changer. Michelle: It's a central argument in the book, and she uses the story of Clara Shih to illustrate it perfectly. Shih was a summer intern at Microsoft when social media and blogs were just emerging. She recognized the potential of RSS feeds for Outlook, but her superiors just didn't get it. Mark: A classic case of big-company inertia. So what did she do? Write a memo that went nowhere? Michelle: No. She just volunteered to build the feature herself. She worked all-nighters, coded it, and made it happen. She didn't ask for permission; she just saw a need and filled it. She said, "I didn’t know how RSS worked, but nobody on my team knew how it worked either. It was new. Even though I was an intern, we were on even footing." Mark: That is such a powerful mindset. She didn't let her job title—'intern'—define her potential contribution. Michelle: And she did it again later at Salesforce! She saw the potential of using Facebook for salespeople, but her bosses were hesitant. So, on her own time, she built an app called FaceForce. It went viral and became a huge asset for the company. She was acting like a founder, but with the resources of a major corporation behind her. Mark: That's what being the 'boss of your own career' means. It’s not about your title; it’s about your initiative. It’s about creating value and opportunity instead of waiting for it to be assigned to you. Michelle: Exactly. And this ties into her idea that careers aren't linear. She calls it the "zig and zag." Her own career is the perfect example. She started as an engineer at AMD, then jumped to a startup, then went to a consulting firm for formal business training, and only then became a founder. Each 'zag' gave her a new skill set. Mark: It challenges that old-fashioned idea of climbing a single, predictable corporate ladder. Instead, you're building a portfolio of experiences. Michelle: Yes, and the book is full of stories of other successful women who did the same. Debra Rossi at Wells Fargo, who became an 'intrapreneur' by championing partnerships with tech upstarts like eBay and PayPal from within a massive, conservative bank. Or Leah Busque, who spent eight years at IBM, absorbing their discipline and rigor, which she then used to build TaskRabbit. Mark: So the book isn't saying 'everyone must be a founder.' It's saying, 'everyone must think like one.' Take ownership, be audacious, and create your own path, whether it's inside a Fortune 500 company or in your own garage.

Michelle: That's the perfect summary. It's a complete philosophy for professional empowerment. Mark: It really is. When you put it all together, it's not just a collection of tips. It's a cohesive worldview. You start with an internal mindset that refuses to be defined by external limitations—you 'flow like water.' You express that outwardly through 'calculated audacity'—that delicious eff-you attitude. And you apply it by proactively being the 'boss of your own career,' creating your own path wherever you are. Michelle: And it’s all grounded in her incredible life story. This isn't theoretical. It’s forged in the fires of being an immigrant, a woman in engineering in the 80s, and a venture capitalist in the dot-com bust. She’s faced every obstacle imaginable. Mark: Which makes the advice feel so much more authentic and earned. It’s not just cheerleading; it’s a battle-tested strategy. Michelle: Exactly. And Yeşil's challenge to the reader is simple but profound. She quotes the great Shirley Chisholm: "If they don’t give you a seat at the table, pull up a folding chair." Mark: I love that. It’s not about asking for permission. It’s about taking action. So the question for all of us is, what folding chair can we pull up this week? It might not be walking into the men's room, but maybe it's speaking up in a meeting, or volunteering for a project no one else wants. Michelle: That's the perfect takeaway. What's a 'folding chair' moment you've had, or one you want to create? We'd love to hear about it. Find us on our socials and share your story. It’s a conversation worth having. Mark: Absolutely. This has been a powerful one. Michelle: This is Aibrary, signing off.