Olivia: Alright Jackson, I'm going to say a phrase, and you tell me the first company that pops into your head. Ready? "Your call is very important to us." Jackson: Ugh. That's every cable company, airline, and possibly the DMV. It's the universal anthem of 'we don't actually care, but our lawyers said we have to say this.' It’s the sound of corporate facelessness. Olivia: Exactly! And that corporate-speak, that soulless voice, is the exact target of the book we're diving into today: Personality Not Included by Rohit Bhargava. Jackson: Personality Not Included. I love that title. It feels like a warning label on a corporate robot. Olivia: It is! And what's fascinating is that Bhargava isn't an outsider throwing stones. He wrote this after working for over a decade at huge ad agencies like Ogilvy, advising brands like Intel and Coca-Cola. He saw the personality being stripped out from the inside. Jackson: Oh, so he’s seen how the sausage gets made… and realized it has no flavor. That gives him some serious credibility. It’s not just theory; he’s lived in the belly of the beast. Olivia: Precisely. He argues that in our hyper-connected world, being a faceless monolith isn't just boring—it's dangerous. And that's where our conversation has to start: this idea of the faceless corporation.

Jackson: Okay, but why do companies even become faceless? I always assumed it was just an inevitable side effect of getting huge. You grow, you add lawyers, you add policies, and poof—the personality is gone. Olivia: That’s the common assumption, but Bhargava argues it’s a deliberate choice. Companies choose to hide behind policies and jargon because they think it manages risk and ensures consistency. But in doing so, they create a vacuum. And that vacuum makes them incredibly easy to attack. Jackson: That makes sense. It’s easy to yell at an automated menu or a generic company logo. It’s much harder to yell at a real person who’s trying to help. Olivia: Exactly. And the book gives this tiny, brilliant example of the opposite. When Apple launched the very first iPod Shuffle in 2005—the one with no screen—they were worried people wouldn't get it. But hidden in the fine print of the user manual were four simple words: "Do Not Eat iPod." Jackson: Wait, seriously? "Do Not Eat iPod"? That's hilarious. Olivia: It was a joke! A tiny, human, slightly absurd joke. And it exploded. Online forums went wild. Was it a real legal disclaimer? Was it a prank? People in other countries were complaining their manuals didn't have the joke. It generated more buzz and conversation than a multi-million dollar ad campaign, all because of a flicker of personality. Jackson: Wow. So a four-word joke on a piece of paper did more work than a Super Bowl ad. But that feels like lightning in a bottle. You can't plan for that, can you? It feels... accidental. Olivia: That's the whole point! Bhargava calls this the power of the "Accidental Spokesperson." These are the people—employees, customers, partners—who become the human face of a brand, often without any official permission. And they can be far more powerful than any celebrity endorser. Jackson: An accidental spokesperson. I like that. It sounds risky, though. What if the employee says something dumb or goes rogue? Olivia: The risk of being inauthentic is far greater. Look at the classic story of Microsoft in the late 90s and early 2000s. They were the "Evil Empire." A faceless, corporate monolith that everyone loved to hate. Their official spokespeople would go on TV and defend their market share, which only made them seem more robotic. Jackson: I remember that. They were the ultimate villain in the tech world. Olivia: But then, something started to shift. A few Microsoft employees, like a blogger named Robert Scoble, just started writing online about their work. They weren't part of a marketing campaign. They were just sharing what they were excited about, what they were building, and what it was like to work there. They were passionate and, most importantly, they were human. Jackson: So they were just being themselves, online. Olivia: Yes! And slowly, these accidental spokespeople started to humanize the entire company. People started to see Microsoft not as a monolith, but as a collection of thousands of smart, passionate people. It didn't happen overnight, but it fundamentally changed their public perception. They didn't run an ad campaign saying "We're not evil!" They just let their people talk. Jackson: That's a powerful idea. The antidote to being faceless is to show your faces. But it still feels like a tightrope walk. You mentioned the risk of saying something dumb... Olivia: And that happens! The book points to an incident where the CEO of Spirit Airlines accidentally hit "reply all" on an email about a customer complaint. His internal, dismissive message—"we owe him nothing...let him tell the world how bad we are"—went public. That’s the other side of it. The internet has no secrets. Your true personality, good or bad, will eventually come out. The question is whether you are shaping it intentionally with authenticity, or letting it leak out through careless mistakes. Jackson: Okay, so being faceless is a losing game, and authentic voices, even accidental ones, are the key. I get the 'why' and the 'who.' But that brings up the big question: how does a company actually build this personality without it feeling fake? How do you manufacture authenticity?

Olivia: That's the million-dollar question, and it's where Bhargava gets really practical. He says it's not about manufacturing anything. It's about uncovering what's already there. He offers a simple framework to guide your thinking, which he calls the UAT Filter. It stands for Unique, Authentic, and Talkable. Jackson: Unique, Authentic, Talkable. UAT. Okay, break that down for me. Olivia: Unique is about standing out. Are you offering something genuinely different? Authentic is about being believable and true to who you are. Do your actions align with your words? And Talkable is about giving people a reason to share your story. Does it have a hook? Jackson: That seems straightforward enough. Can you give me an example of where a company got it wrong? Olivia: Absolutely. Think about marketing stunts. The book brings up a classic: Taco Bell's April Fools' Day prank in 1996. They took out full-page ads in major newspapers announcing they had purchased the Liberty Bell and were renaming it the "Taco Liberty Bell." Jackson: I remember that! People were calling the National Park Service, furious. It was definitely talkable. Olivia: Massively talkable. It checks that box. But was it authentic? Did it have anything to do with Taco Bell's actual brand or product? No. It was a clever, one-off stunt. It generated buzz for a day, but it didn't build any lasting connection or brand loyalty. It was a sugar high, not a nutritious meal. It failed the authenticity test. Jackson: Okay, I see the difference. A good stunt gets attention, but an authentic story builds a relationship. So what does a brand that passes the UAT filter look like? Olivia: This is where Bhargava's idea of a "backstory" comes in. He argues that a signature or a logo isn't enough. You need a compelling story that people can connect with on an emotional level. And he gives this fantastic comparison between two banana companies: Chiquita and Dole. Jackson: Bananas? How can a banana have a personality? It's the definition of a commodity. Olivia: That’s the challenge! For decades, Chiquita dominated by branding their bananas. They created the "Miss Chiquita" character and that catchy jingle. They were unique and talkable for their time. But Miss Chiquita is a cartoon. She’s not authentic. As consumers started craving more transparency, that approach lost its power. Jackson: Right, nobody feels a deep emotional connection to a cartoon banana lady. Olivia: Exactly. Now, contrast that with what Dole did. They started a program for their organic bananas. On each bunch, there's a small sticker with a three-digit farm code. You can go to their website, type in that code, and see the exact farm in Colombia or Costa Rica where your banana was grown. Jackson: Whoa, really? Olivia: Yes. And it gets better. The website features letters from the actual farm workers, photos of their families, and stories about their lives. One letter on the site was from a consumer in the US, and it was followed by a response from a worker at the Don Pedro farm, thanking her. Suddenly, you're not just buying a banana. You're connecting with a real person, a real place. Jackson: That's incredible. You're connecting a piece of fruit in your kitchen to a family hundreds of miles away. That’s not just marketing; that’s storytelling. Olivia: It's a perfect backstory. It’s Unique—no one else was doing it. It’s deeply Authentic—it’s real people and real stories. And it’s incredibly Talkable—you just proved it by having that "whoa" reaction. You'd tell someone about that. Dole didn't invent a character; they revealed the characters that were there all along. Jackson: So one is a cartoon character, and the other is a real person you can connect with. It’s about showing the 'who' behind the 'what'. That completely reframes it. It’s not about a marketing department inventing a personality. It's about the company having the courage to show its own.

Olivia: And that's the central insight of the entire book. It's not about inventing a personality, but uncovering the one that's already there—in your people, in your history, in the way you do things. The biggest risk for a brand today isn't saying the wrong thing; it's saying nothing at all and becoming completely invisible. Jackson: So the real "personality not included" is when the people are not included. When the company hides its humanity behind a wall of corporate-speak and policies. That’s a powerful takeaway. Olivia: It really is. And it applies to everyone, from a global giant like Microsoft to a local bakery. The principles are the same. Find what makes you unique, be honest about it, and give people a story to tell. Jackson: It makes you look at the world differently. Here’s a challenge for our listeners: the next time you have to deal with a 'faceless' company, think about the one human thing they could have done to change that entire interaction. What was that one missed opportunity for a personality moment? Olivia: That’s a great exercise. And we’d love to hear your stories. Have you ever been won over by a brand's unexpected personality? Or have you ever been an "accidental spokesperson" for a company you love? Share your experiences with the Aibrary community. We're always learning from each other. Jackson: It’s a reminder that behind every logo and every product, there are people. And connecting with them is what truly matters. Olivia: This is Aibrary, signing off.