Michelle: All that advice you hear about 'just work hard and your talent will be recognized'? It's not just wrong, it could be sabotaging your career. Especially if you're not a white man. Mark: Whoa. Okay, that's a bold start. But I have to admit, it resonates. It feels true, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone say it so bluntly. It’s the kind of thing you feel in your gut but don't dare say out loud in a performance review. Michelle: Exactly. And that's why we're diving into a book that puts that uncomfortable truth front and center. It's called Mastering the Game: Strategies for Career Success by Sharon E. Jones with Sudheer R. Poluru. Mark: Mastering the Game. I like that. It already implies there are rules to learn. Michelle: Precisely. And what's fascinating is the author, Sharon E. Jones, isn't just a theorist. She's a Harvard-educated lawyer and a woman of color who spent decades in corporate America. She wrote this book because she lived the frustration of having to work twice as hard just to get noticed. Mark: Okay, so this is coming from real-world experience, not an ivory tower. What does she mean by "the game"? Is it just about office politics? Michelle: It's deeper than that. She argues that most professional environments, from Fortune 500s to government offices, were created by and for a specific group—white men. And because of that, the culture and the unwritten rules of success are based on their norms. If you're not part of that group, you're playing a game where you don't even know all the rules.

Mark: That makes so much sense. It’s like being invited to a board game night, and everyone else has been playing for years, and they just say, "Oh, you'll pick it up as you go." But you never really do. Michelle: She has the most perfect story to illustrate this. It's the one that opens the book. She was playing a game with her nine-year-old niece, Liz. It was a game Liz and her friends had made up. Mark: Oh, I can see where this is going. Michelle: Right. So they start playing. Every time Sharon thinks she's about to win, that she's figured out the strategy, Liz says, "Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you this rule." And suddenly, Sharon's winning move is invalid. This happens over and over again. She makes a great play, and Liz reveals another hidden rule that blocks her. Mark: That is the most perfect, and infuriating, analogy for being new in a company! You finally figure out how to submit a report, and someone says, "Oh, didn't you know? We have to use the blue cover sheet for Q3 reports." It feels designed to make you fail. Michelle: Exactly. And her ultimate realization in the story is that she can never win. Not because she isn't smart, but because she doesn't know the rules. And the person who does know the rules holds all the power. Jones argues this is what happens to women and people of color in the workplace every single day. Mark: But is this just about being new, or is it something deeper? Are these rules really that consistent everywhere? Michelle: That's the critical point. It's deeper. These aren't just random quirks; they're often tied to unconscious biases about who "looks" like a leader or who "sounds" credible. She tells this incredible story about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In the 90s, she accidentally interrupted Justice Sandra Day O'Connor during an oral argument. Mark: Okay... Michelle: The next day, a newspaper headline read, "Rude Ruth Interrupts Sandra." Mark: Get out of here. "Rude Ruth"? Michelle: "Rude Ruth." Ginsburg was mortified and apologized to O'Connor, who just waved it off, saying the male justices interrupted each other constantly and never apologized. Later, a reporter confronted Ginsburg about her "manners." She told him to go back and just observe how often the men on the court interrupted each other. A month later, he came back and admitted he'd never even noticed it before. It was just normal behavior for men, but for a woman, it was "rude." Mark: Wow. That's a perfect example of a hidden rule: the rule of who is allowed to be assertive. That's infuriating. But okay, the Ginsburg story is powerful, but is it always that gendered or racial? Don't all workplaces have their own weird quirks that everyone has to learn? Michelle: They do, but the systemic disadvantage falls along lines of difference. This is where Jones introduces the psychological part of the game. It's a concept called "stereotype threat." It's the fear of confirming a negative stereotype about your group. Mark: What do you mean? Michelle: There was a famous study at Stanford. They gave a difficult verbal test to Black and White students. In one group, they just took the test. In the other, they were asked to identify their race on the form right before they started. Mark: And let me guess... Michelle: You got it. In the group where race wasn't mentioned, the Black and White students performed equally well. But in the group that was reminded of their race right before the test, the Black students' scores dropped significantly. Just the subtle reminder of the stereotype that they might not be as good at this test was enough to impair their performance. Mark: That's devastating. So you're not just fighting the actual work, you're fighting the ghost of what other people might be thinking about you. It’s like you’re carrying an invisible weight. Michelle: An invisible weight. That's the psychological gauntlet. And if you don't know this is happening, you might start to believe it yourself. You might think, "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this," when in reality, you're running a race with a backpack full of rocks that nobody else can see.

Mark: Okay, so the game is rigged and it messes with your head. That's... bleak. How do you even start to fight back? Do you just have to become a mind-reader? Michelle: That's where Jones's most powerful advice comes in. She says you can't win alone. You need allies. But she makes a crucial distinction that most people miss, and it's the difference between a mentor and a sponsor. Mark: I feel like people use those terms interchangeably. Michelle: And that's the trap. Jones puts it simply: Mentors talk to you. They give you advice, they help you navigate, they listen to your problems. That's all valuable. But sponsors... sponsors talk about you. Mark: About you? Michelle: Yes, in the rooms you're not in. They are the senior leaders who will pound the table for you when it's time for promotions. They advocate for you, they put their own reputation on the line to get you opportunities, and they connect you to high-stakes projects. Mark: Ah, so a mentor is like a coach who gives you pointers from the sideline, but a sponsor is like your agent who's actually in the owner's box negotiating your contract. Michelle: That's a perfect analogy! And the data she presents is stark. One study found that men are 46 percent more likely than women to have a sponsor. White professionals are 63 percent more likely than professionals of color. This isn't a small gap; it's a chasm. Mark: So the very people who need an advocate the most are the least likely to have one. That connects all the dots. Michelle: It really does. There's a great story in the book about a Black woman named Jasmine who gets two job offers. One is her dream job, but the salary is lower. The other is less exciting but pays much more. The dream company tells her the offer is non-negotiable. Mark: The classic "take it or leave it." Michelle: Right. So she calls her friend, Rachel, for advice, who tells her to follow her passion and take the lower salary. But Rachel's husband, Steve, overhears the call, grabs the phone, and says, "That is terrible advice." He tells Jasmine to channel her "inner White male," march back to that company, and demand the higher salary because she's worth it. Mark: I love Steve. Michelle: Everyone needs a Steve! Jasmine is hesitant, but she does it. She confidently makes her case, and to her shock, the company immediately agrees to the higher salary. Steve acted as her temporary sponsor. He gave her the script and the confidence to advocate for herself in a way she wouldn't have otherwise. Mark: This is great, but how do you get a sponsor? You can't just walk up to a VP and say, "Will you be my sponsor?" That sounds so transactional and weird. It feels like asking someone to be your best friend. Michelle: You're right, and that's the nuance. You don't ask. You earn it. The book is clear on this. Sponsorship is the result of everything else. You have to deliver excellent, visible work. You have to be reliable. You have to make your accomplishments known, not in an arrogant way, but in a factual one. A sponsor is a senior person who sees your potential and decides that hitching their wagon to yours is a good bet for them, too. They choose you because your success will reflect well on them. Mark: So it’s not about finding a sponsor, it's about becoming sponsor-able. You have to become the person that powerful people want to back. Michelle: Exactly. You make yourself a great investment. The relationship often starts as a mentorship and then evolves. They see your talent, they give you advice, you follow it and succeed, and over time, they become invested enough to advocate for you.

Mark: It really feels like a two-part strategy then. First, you have to recognize that the invisible game exists and protect your own mind from the psychological traps like stereotype threat. You have to know you're not crazy; the field isn't level. Michelle: Yes, you have to put on your psychological armor first. Mark: And second, you stop looking for just a 'mentor'—that friendly person who will have coffee with you—and start focusing on performing so well and building such a strong reputation that powerful people have a vested interest in your success. They become your sponsors because you've proven you're a winner. Michelle: Exactly. And Jones's ultimate point, which is so powerful coming from her, is that this isn't just about individual success. It's not about learning the rules just so you can win and pull the ladder up behind you. It's about getting enough diverse people into positions of power so they can change the rules of the game for everyone else. Mark: So it's a strategy for systemic change, one career at a time. Michelle: That's the whole point. You master the game not just for yourself, but to eventually become a game-changer. Mark: I love that. It reframes the whole thing from a cynical survival guide to a hopeful manual for change. Michelle: It really does. For anyone listening, a great first step from the book is to just start a 'kudos' folder in your email. Every time you get a positive comment, a thank you, or finish a project successfully, save that email. It's not for bragging; it's your evidence file. It's the data you'll use when you need to advocate for yourself, whether in a performance review or when you're making the case for a sponsor to bet on you. Mark: That is such a simple, powerful action. I'm starting mine today. And we'd love to hear your stories. Have you ever felt like you were playing a game without the rules? Find us on social media and share. We're always listening. Michelle: This is Aibrary, signing off.