Mark: The phrase 'follow your passion' is everywhere. It’s on mugs, it’s in graduation speeches. But what if the most powerful advice is actually 'follow your envy'? That feeling we're all taught to suppress might be the most honest compass we have. We're talking about turning a 'deadly sin' into a superpower. Michelle: Follow your envy? That sounds like a recipe for disaster, Mark. My therapist would have a field day with that. It feels like it would just lead to resentment and endless scrolling on social media, comparing your life to everyone else's curated perfection. Mark: Exactly! It's a totally counter-intuitive idea, and it’s one of the core insights in Roxie Nafousi's book, 'Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life.' And this is what makes her take so interesting. Nafousi isn't just a spiritual guru; she has a degree in psychology and came to this work after a very public battle with addiction and depression. Michelle: Oh, I think I remember reading about her. She’s been called the "manifesting queen" by some major publications, right? It’s interesting that her background is in psychology. It suggests her approach might be more grounded than just, you know, wishing on a star. Mark: That’s the whole premise. She frames manifesting as a practice of deep, often difficult, self-work. The book became a massive Sunday Times bestseller, and it’s been praised by everyone from celebrities to CEOs, but it’s also stirred up some controversy. Critics of the 'law of attraction' argue it can lead to victim-blaming. Michelle: Okay, so it’s not all just positive vibes and vision boards. There’s some real psychological weight here. So, if it's not just making a wish, where does this all begin?

Mark: It begins at rock bottom. Or at least, it did for the author. The first step in the book is 'Be Clear in Your Vision,' but Nafousi’s own story is the most powerful illustration of why that matters. In 2018, she was 27, living in London, and by her own account, completely lost. She was struggling with depression, addiction, and a total lack of purpose. Michelle: That’s a long way from being a bestselling author and wellness expert. What happened? Mark: A friend recommended a podcast on manifesting. Roxie was at her wit's end and decided to listen. The idea clicked for her, but not in a 'I want a million dollars' kind of way. She decided to manifest something very specific, something she felt she’d never had: unconditional love. She got incredibly clear on what that felt like—the safety, the acceptance, the support. Michelle: So she wasn't visualizing a specific person, like a tall, dark, handsome stranger? She was focusing on the emotion? Mark: Precisely. She was creating the emotional and energetic state she wanted to live in. And then, the story gets a little wild. She’s on a dating app, Raya, and gets a message from an Australian actor named Wade Briggs. They meet, have this incredible connection, and he literally changes his international travel plans to stay with her. Three months later, she discovers she's pregnant. Michelle: Whoa. Okay, that's an amazing story, but I have to say, it also sounds a bit like a fairytale. A lightning-strike romance. For most people, I think the biggest block isn't the vision, it's the deep-down feeling that they don't deserve it. How does the book tackle that fundamental, gut-level doubt? Mark: You've hit on the absolute core of the book. This is Step Two: 'Remove Fear and Doubt.' And Nafousi is adamant about this. She quotes research from the National Science Foundation that we have up to 60,000 thoughts a day, and around 80% of them are negative. Manifesting, she argues, happens from your subconscious beliefs, which make up 95% of your cognitive activity. Michelle: So your conscious mind can be saying "I want a promotion," but your subconscious is whispering, "You're not good enough, you'll fail." And the subconscious is running the show. Mark: Exactly. And she has this fantastic quote: "TO MANIFEST ANYTHING INTO YOUR LIFE... YOU MUST BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY OF HAVING IT. READ THAT AGAIN." The inner work of building self-worth is the engine of the whole process. Michelle: That makes sense intellectually, but it's so hard to pinpoint in practice. How do you even know what your limiting subconscious beliefs are? Mark: This is where the vision board comes in, but not as a magic wand. She uses it as a diagnostic tool. She tells a story about her best friend, Leah, who came over to make her first vision board. Leah wanted to grow her business, so she wrote down '10 new clients.' But then, she hesitated, crossed it out, and wrote '5 new clients.' Michelle: Oh, I know that feeling. The "let's be realistic" voice. Mark: Right! Leah said she didn't want to put down the bigger number "in case it didn't happen." That hesitation, that act of making her dream smaller to protect herself from disappointment, was her fear and doubt laid bare. The vision board didn't just show her what she wanted; it showed her what she was afraid to ask for. It revealed the exact location of her limiting beliefs. Michelle: That’s a brilliant way to look at it. The vision board becomes a mirror for your insecurities. You see where you flinch. I also read that the author herself had a huge limiting belief about money. She grew up thinking she needed a man to be financially secure. Mark: Yes, and that belief shaped her reality for years. She got into a relationship with a much older, wealthy man, which just reinforced the idea. When it ended, she felt a complete loss of identity. It was only after she started this work, met her now-partner Wade who supported her emotionally, that she realized she was fully capable of creating her own financial success. And her income apparently increased tenfold in two years. Michelle: So the external reality—the money, the relationship—it all followed the internal shift in her belief about what she was worthy of. Mark: That's the argument. You have to become the person who is worthy of the life you want, first in your mind, and then your actions have to follow. And that's where things get really interesting, because once you start doing that work, the universe, as she puts it, starts to test you.

Michelle: Okay, hold on. 'Tests from the universe'? Come on, Mark. Isn't that just... life happening? Bad luck? A bad date? It sounds a little too mystical. Mark: I get the skepticism, and that's a common critique of this kind of work. But Nafousi frames it psychologically. A 'test' isn't a cosmic quiz from a bearded man in the sky. It's a situation that forces you to choose between your old, low-self-worth patterns and your new, empowered ones. It’s a practical exam on your self-worth. Michelle: Give me an example. How does this play out in real life? Mark: The book gives two perfect, incredibly relatable scenarios. The first is "The Test of the Ex." You've been doing the work, you're feeling good, you're visualizing a healthy, loving partnership. And then, boom. A text from the ex you know is no good for you. The one who was emotionally unavailable or non-committal. Michelle: Ah, the siren song of the familiar but toxic. We've all been there. Mark: Exactly. The 'test' is this: Do you reply? Do you meet up for that "harmless" coffee? Doing so gives you a temporary hit of validation, but it sends a powerful message to yourself and, in her terms, 'the universe,' that you're willing to settle. That you don't really believe you deserve better. Passing the test means ignoring the text, closing that door firmly, and holding out for what you actually want. Michelle: So it's a behavioral choice that demonstrates your new standard for yourself. What's the other scenario? Mark: It's called "The Almost Perfect Partner." You meet someone new. The chemistry is electric. They tick, say, seven of your ten boxes. You're thrilled. But after a few dates, red flags appear. They're inconsistent with communication, a little disrespectful of your time, or make a joke at your expense that doesn't sit right. Michelle: The classic "but he's so great otherwise" dilemma. Mark: Right. The test is whether you ignore those red flags because you're impatient or afraid you won't find anyone else. Walking away from the 'almost perfect' partner is a radical act of self-worth. It's telling yourself, "I deserve all ten boxes, and I'm willing to wait for it." The book has a great story about a makeup artist who was offered a contract with a good agency, but not his dream agency. He turned it down, which felt terrifying, and five months later, his dream agency signed him. Michelle: Okay, I can see the logic there. It's about aligning your behavior with your stated desires, not about magic. It's a quality control check on your own boundaries. But let's go back to that idea of envy you mentioned at the start. That feels like the ultimate test. How do you possibly turn that toxic, corrosive feeling into something productive? Mark: This is probably my favorite part of the book because it's so psychologically astute. Nafousi argues that envy is simply a low-vibration emotion that comes from a scarcity mindset. It’s the belief that there's only one pie, and if someone else has a slice, there's less for you. Michelle: Which is how most of us experience it. It feels awful. You see someone's success and it feels like it diminishes your own chances. Mark: But she says you can choose to reframe it. You can shift to an abundance mindset, which is the foundation of inspiration. Inspiration says, "Wow, look at that delicious pie! That proves pie exists and is delicious! I'm going to go learn how to bake my own." The other person's success becomes proof that what you want is possible. Michelle: So it's like seeing someone's amazing vacation photo on Instagram, and instead of feeling bad about your own life, you use it as motivation to open a travel savings account. Mark: Precisely. You turn the trigger into a tool. She tells this great story about a woman in one of her coaching groups who dreaded weekends. She'd scroll through social media, seeing everyone out at parties, and feel this intense envy and loneliness. Michelle: I think a lot of people can relate to that. Mark: So Roxie asked her, "Do you actually want to be out partying every weekend?" And the woman thought about it and realized... no. She loved her quiet nights in with a movie. She loved waking up fresh on Sunday for her running club. The envy wasn't about what she truly wanted; it was a manufactured feeling created by the comparison machine of social media. The envy was a lie. Michelle: Wow. So envy isn't just a signpost to what you want, it can also be a signpost to what you think you're supposed to want. It forces you to get authentic. Mark: It forces you to check in with your true vision. And when you do that, you take the power back. You stop letting other people's lives dictate your feelings about your own. You see their success and say, "Good for them. Now, what is it that I truly want to build?"

Michelle: So, when you strip it all down, this book isn't really about manifesting a new car or a promotion, is it? The book seems to argue that the real gift of manifesting is the person you have to become to get those things—someone with crystal-clear vision, who genuinely believes they're worthy, and who has the strength to walk away from anything, or anyone, that doesn't meet their standard. Mark: That's the perfect summary. The ultimate manifestation is self-worth. The external things are just the byproduct of that internal transformation. The final step in the book is 'Trust in the Universe,' which really means trusting yourself. Trusting that you've done the work, that you're on the right path, and that you can surrender the need to control every single outcome. Michelle: It’s a shift from a controlling, fearful mindset to a trusting, abundant one. It’s less about 'making things happen' and more about 'allowing things to happen' after you've done the foundational work. Mark: Exactly. And if there's one practical takeaway for listeners, it might be the simplest one: start by noticing. You don't have to build a five-year vision board tonight. Just start noticing. Notice what you hesitate to dream of. Notice the 'tests' that show up in your life—the ex's text, the 'almost-good-enough' job offer. And most importantly, notice what you envy. Michelle: Don't judge it, don't suppress it. Just see it as a map. Mark: See it as a map. A map pointing directly to what your soul truly wants. And once you see the map, you can start taking the first step on that journey. Michelle: That's a powerful reframe. We'd love to hear from our listeners—what's one thing you've secretly envied that, after hearing this, might actually be a clue to a bigger dream? Share your thoughts with the Aibrary community. It's a conversation worth having. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.