Mark: Most self-help books tell you to start with your goals. This one tells you to start with your funeral. Michelle: Okay, that's a bold opening. You have my attention. A little morbid, but I'm listening. Mark: Right? And it might be the most practical advice you'll ever get. It’s from the book Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy. And the whole approach starts to make perfect sense when you learn about the authors. Hyatt is a well-known leadership mentor, but Harkavy is an elite executive coach. We're talking about a guy whose firm, Building Champions, coaches leaders at massive companies like Chick-fil-A and Bank of America. Michelle: I see. So this isn't just feel-good advice. This is the kind of high-stakes, no-nonsense strategy you'd give to a CEO whose time is worth thousands an hour. Mark: Exactly. This book is essentially them taking that C-suite-level life-architecting process and making it accessible for the rest of us. It’s a blueprint. Michelle: A blueprint to get you from where you are to... where, exactly? The grave? Mark: (Laughs) To the life you actually want, instead of the one you just happen to fall into. And to understand their solution, you first have to understand their diagnosis of the problem. A problem so common, so pervasive, most of us don't even realize it's happening. They call it 'The Drift.'

Michelle: The Drift. That sounds... passive. Almost gentle. Like something that just happens to you on a lazy river. Mark: That's the danger of it. It feels gentle, but they compare it to something far more powerful: a riptide. Daniel Harkavy, one of the authors, is an avid surfer, and he tells this terrifying story about watching a novice surfer get caught in a riptide on the Oregon coast. The guy wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just in the water. But this invisible current grabbed him and started pulling him out to sea, past a cape. He was drifting, but with life-threatening consequences. Michelle: Wow, that’s a much more potent analogy. It reframes it. It’s not about being lazy or a failure; it’s about being unaware of these powerful, invisible forces that can pull your life way off course. Mark: Precisely. And they argue this happens to all of us. We drift into jobs we don't love, relationships that are just 'fine,' and health habits we know are bad for us. We look up one day and think, "How did I get here?" Michelle: That is a universally terrifying feeling. What are these currents, then? What's pulling us? Is it just being busy? Mark: Busyness is a big part of it. They identify four main causes. The first is just a lack of awareness, like that surfer. The second is distraction. And the story for this one is so relatable. Michael Hyatt talks about going for a hike in the Rockies. It's a beautiful day, he's enjoying the wildflowers, the gurgling stream... and he's so captivated by the immediate scenery that he takes a wrong turn without realizing it. He only notices he's lost when the forest gets dark and he can't hear the stream anymore. Michelle: The distraction one really hits home. It's the life equivalent of scrolling on your phone for what feels like five minutes, then looking up to realize an hour has vanished. Except in this case, you look up and realize ten years have vanished. That's a chilling thought. Mark: It is. The third cause is feeling overwhelmed—that "I Love Lucy" scene in the candy factory, where the conveyor belt just keeps speeding up and you're just trying to stuff chocolates in your mouth to survive. You're too busy managing the chaos to think strategically. And the last one is deception. Michelle: Deception by who? Other people? Mark: Mostly by ourselves. It's the lies we tell ourselves, like "I'm just not a planner," or "It's too late for me to change," or "I don't have time for that." They quote Henry Ford: "Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." If you believe you're stuck, you will be. Michelle: Okay, so these four forces—unawareness, distraction, being overwhelmed, and self-deception—create this powerful drift. What are the ultimate consequences they lay out? Is it just about waking up at 60 with a sense of regret? Mark: Regret is the final, and maybe most painful, one. But they list others that come first: Confusion, that feeling of being directionless. Expense, both in terms of money wasted on things that don't matter and time squandered. Lost opportunities, the doors you didn't even see because you weren't looking. And real, tangible pain—in your health, in your relationships, in your finances. The drift isn't just an emotional cost; it's a full-on invoice that comes due at the end of your life. Michelle: That is a heavy, but necessary, diagnosis. It makes you want to immediately ask, "Okay, what's the cure?" I'm almost afraid to ask, but this is where the funeral comes in, isn't it?

Mark: This is where the funeral comes in. To stop drifting, you need a destination. A North Star. And the authors argue that the fastest, most brutally effective way to find that destination is to "begin with the end in mind." They literally instruct you, as the first step in creating what they call a Life Plan, to sit down and write your own eulogy. Michelle: Wow. I mean, I get the logic, but that sounds incredibly difficult. And, frankly, really morbid. Do people actually do this? What does that process even look like? Mark: It is difficult! But that's why it's so powerful. It cuts through all the noise and trivialities of daily life. All the external expectations, the pride, the fear of failure—as Steve Jobs said, those things just fall away in the face of death. The exercise forces you to answer the most important question: How do I want to be remembered? Michelle: And who do you want to be remembered by? Mark: Exactly. You're supposed to think about the key people in your life—your spouse, your kids, your colleagues, your friends—and write down what you hope they would say about you. And it's not about listing accomplishments. It’s about character. Michelle: That’s a profound shift. It moves you from a to-do list to a "to-be" list. The focus isn't 'Did I get the promotion?' but 'Was I a present and loving father?' or 'Was I a loyal and supportive friend?' Mark: You've nailed it. There's a powerful story in the book about Eugene O'Kelly, the CEO of the massive accounting firm KPMG. He was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given about three months to live. Instead of despairing, he used that time with incredible intention. He made a list of the key relationships he wanted to "unwind," and he spent his final days creating what he called "perfect moments" with those people—fully present, no distractions, just connecting. He designed his legacy in his last 90 days. The book asks us: why wait until we're forced to? Michelle: That gives me chills. It's about living that intentionally now, not just when you get a death sentence. Okay, so you go through this... emotionally heavy... eulogy exercise. You have this vision of the person you want to be. How does that become a practical, day-to-day plan? How do you avoid it just being a nice document you write once and then forget about? Mark: That's the second brilliant part of their system. They have you translate that high-level legacy into a manageable structure using something they call "Life Accounts." Michelle: Life Accounts? What, like a checking account? Mark: It's a perfect analogy. They ask you to think of the major domains of your life—your health, your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your career, your finances, your spiritual life, even your hobbies—as individual bank accounts. Every day, you're making deposits or withdrawals. Michelle: I think I see where this is going. You can't just keep making withdrawals from your 'Health Account' by eating junk food and not sleeping, or from your 'Marriage Account' by working 80-hour weeks, to fund your 'Career Account.' Eventually, those accounts will be overdrawn. You'll go bankrupt. Mark: Precisely. The book includes a "Life Assessment Profile" to help you see where your accounts stand right now. Are they growing, consistent, or declining? It forces an honest look at the balance sheet of your life. And most people find a huge imbalance. They're pouring everything into one or two accounts, usually career and finances, while the others are deeply in the red. Michelle: And once you see that, you can't unsee it. So the Life Plan becomes about creating a budget—a budget for your time and energy—to make sure you're making regular deposits into all the accounts that matter, not just the ones that are screaming the loudest. Mark: That's the whole system. The eulogy gives you the 'why'—the ultimate purpose. The Life Accounts give you the 'what'—the specific areas to focus on. And the rest of the book guides you in creating specific, SMART commitments for each account. For your Health Account, it might be "Work out 3 times a week." For your Parental Account, it might be "Have a one-on-one date with each child once a month." Concrete actions driven by a deep, personal vision.

Michelle: So the whole framework is this powerful one-two punch. First, you get a brutally honest, high-level view of your destination by thinking about your legacy. Then, you break that vision down into a manageable, balanced portfolio of 'Life Accounts' to guide your daily and weekly actions. It brilliantly connects the ultimate 'why' with the daily 'what.' Mark: It's the perfect antidote to the drift. The eulogy gives you the compass, and the Life Accounts give you the map for the journey. It’s not about perfection; it’s about intention. The authors are adamant that this isn't a static document you create once. It's a living plan. They recommend reviewing it weekly and doing a major revision annually. It’s a practice of self-leadership. Michelle: And that concept—that self-leadership precedes team leadership—is probably why this book and its principles have had such a big impact in the corporate world. You can't effectively lead a team or a company if your own life is a chaotic, drifting mess. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first. Mark: Absolutely. The book's ultimate promise is that you can stop being a passenger in your own life and become the architect. It's a call to action. The final chapter is titled "The Choice Is Yours," and it ends with a simple parable about a boy holding a bird in his hands. He asks a wise man if the bird is alive or dead, planning to crush it or release it to prove the man wrong. The wise man simply replies, "The bird is as you choose it to be." Michelle: And so is your life. That leaves you with a really powerful, and slightly uncomfortable, question, doesn't it? What would your eulogy say if it were written today? And what one small deposit could you make into a neglected Life Account this week to start rewriting it? Mark: A question worth spending some real time on. We'd love to hear what resonates with all of you, or what your most neglected Life Account might be. Join the conversation on our social channels and let us know. Michelle: This is Aibrary, signing off.