Narrator: What if the biggest obstacles to achieving your goals aren't external, but internal? Imagine that the reality you experience is governed by a set of invisible rules, not imposed by the world, but created by your own mind. These rules dictate what you see as possible, what you believe is true, and what actions you are willing to take. For author Dave Gray, this wasn't just a thought experiment. At age 29, he was a smoker who desperately wanted to quit. One day, while sick with a chest cold, he had a vivid, horrifying vision of himself as a wheezing old man. That single, powerful shift in perspective gave him the resolve to quit for good, a change that cascaded into transforming his career, relationships, and entire life. This art of creating change by understanding and reframing the very beliefs that hold us captive is the focus of his book, Liminal Thinking: Create the Change You Want by Changing the Way You Think. It provides a blueprint for navigating the ambiguous space between an old way of thinking and a new one, revealing how to find doorways to possibilities that were previously invisible.

Narrator: The foundational principle of liminal thinking is that our beliefs are not reality itself, but rather mental models or maps we use to navigate it. Reality is infinitely complex, and our minds create simplified representations to make sense of it. The problem arises when we forget this distinction and treat our personal map as the one true territory.

Gray illustrates this with the ancient parable of the blind men and the elephant. In the story, a king asks several blind men to describe an elephant. Each man touches a different part of the animal. The one who touches the leg declares the elephant is like a pillar. The one who feels the tail insists it's like a rope. Another, holding the ear, is certain it's like a large fan. Because their individual experiences are real and valid, they begin to argue, each convinced that their limited perspective represents the whole truth. They fail to understand that they are all correct in their own small way, yet all completely wrong about the nature of the elephant.

This parable serves as a powerful metaphor for human perception. We each grasp a small piece of a much larger, more complex reality. Our beliefs are formed from these limited experiences, yet we often defend them as if they are objective truth. Liminal thinking begins with the humility to accept that our map is incomplete and that others’ maps, however different, may hold valid information about parts of the territory we cannot see.

Narrator: Beliefs don't just shape our perception; they actively defend themselves from conflicting information. They create blind spots and are protected by what Gray calls a "bubble of self-sealing logic." This is the mechanism that allows us to maintain our beliefs even when confronted with contradictory evidence. We unconsciously filter, distort, or dismiss information that challenges our worldview.

A stark example of this can be seen in a study on how Democrats and Republicans interpreted facts about the 2003 Iraq War. The Bush administration justified the invasion by claiming Iraq was concealing weapons of mass destruction (WMDs). When no WMDs were found, people were faced with evidence that contradicted the initial justification. Democrats, who were generally opposed to the war, tended to conclude that the WMDs never existed and the administration was wrong. However, many Republicans, who largely supported the war, found ways to protect their belief. They offered alternative explanations, such as the WMDs being moved or hidden, rather than conclude the initial premise was false.

Both groups were looking at the same fact—no WMDs were found—but their underlying beliefs led them to construct entirely different realities around that fact. This demonstrates how powerfully beliefs defend themselves. To create change, one must first recognize this defensive bubble in themselves and others, understanding that new facts alone are rarely enough to break through it.

Narrator: Since beliefs are so closely tied to our identity and sense of security, attempting to change them in others can feel like an attack. Gray argues that if you don't understand the underlying emotional need a belief is serving, you will never be able to influence it. Therefore, a critical practice of liminal thinking is to create a safe space where people feel secure enough to share their true needs and fears without judgment.

Consider the case of a large grocery store chain that invested heavily in a new web store for home delivery. The project stalled, and senior managers were baffled. Store managers, when asked, would raise logistical concerns about storage, reliability, and staffing. But the real problem was hidden. The store managers' bonuses were tied directly to in-store sales. They secretly feared that the web store would cannibalize their sales and shrink their paychecks. They couldn't voice this fear openly for risk of seeming like they weren't team players. Instead, their unstated need for financial security manifested as a series of seemingly practical objections that sabotaged the project.

The stalemate was only broken when senior management created enough trust to uncover this hidden fear. Once the incentive structure was changed to credit online sales to the local stores, the objections vanished and the project moved forward. This story shows that what often looks like resistance to a logical idea is actually a person's rational response to an unstated, and often emotional, need. Without safety, that need remains invisible and becomes an insurmountable barrier to change.

Narrator: Many of our most powerful beliefs are not conscious ideas but are embedded in our daily routines and habits. We do things a certain way because that's how they've always been done, and these actions reinforce the beliefs that underpin them. To break free from a limiting belief, sometimes the most effective strategy is to disrupt the routine that keeps it in place.

Gray shares the story of a couple struggling with their defiant teenage son. The more they tried to control him by setting curfews, the later he would stay out, creating a vicious cycle of conflict. They were stuck in a routine: he rebels, they clamp down, he rebels more. A therapist advised them to disrupt this routine entirely. They were told to inform their son they wanted him home by ten, but to add that they realized they couldn't force him. Then, if he wasn't home, they were to lock the doors, turn off the lights, and go to bed. When he finally came home and banged on the door, they were to make him wait, then act sleepy and apologetic for having locked him out.

By refusing to play their part in the power struggle, they removed the very thing their son was rebelling against. The routine was broken. Suddenly, it was in his best interest to get home on time to avoid the hassle of being locked out. By attacking the solution (clamping down) instead of the problem (his defiance), they shifted the entire dynamic and created a new, more constructive reality.

Narrator: The final step in liminal thinking is moving from understanding to action. One of the most potent ways to test a new belief and create change is to simply act as if a different reality were already true. This practice surfaces the real, and often imaginary, constraints that hold a system in place.

Jason Roberts, an IT consultant in Dallas, was frustrated by his city's lack of vibrant public plazas like those he'd seen in Europe. He discovered that city rules, like a $1,000 license for outdoor tables, made them nearly impossible to create. Instead of lobbying for years to change the rules, he and his friends decided to act as if the rules didn't exist. For one weekend, they created a "guerilla" pop-up neighborhood. They turned a vacant lot into a park, used chalk to create bike lanes, and set up a temporary sidewalk café, breaking as many arcane rules as they could.

Then, they invited the city council to see it. Faced with a living, breathing example of a better alternative, the council members were forced to confront the rules. When asked why these rules existed, they often didn't know. The pop-up scenario made it clear that the constraints were not immovable laws of nature but changeable agreements. By acting "as if" a better Dallas were possible, Jason Roberts made it so. This demonstrates that testing a new belief through action is the fastest way to discover whether the walls holding you back are made of brick or just paper.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Liminal Thinking is that the worlds we inhabit—personally, organizationally, and socially—are constructed from our beliefs. Because we are the architects of these beliefs, we also have the power to be their renovators. Change is not about finding the one right answer, but about developing the psychological agility to see our own blind spots, question our most cherished assumptions, and step into the uncomfortable, in-between spaces where new possibilities are born.

The book leaves us with a profound challenge: to change the world, you must first be willing to change yourself. Are you willing to empty your cup, to disrupt your own routines, and to act as if a better world is possible, even if it means challenging the very beliefs that make you who you are? Because leadership isn't about a title; it's about having the courage to lead from wherever you are, starting with the space between your own ears.