Narrator: Imagine a rising star at a top consulting firm. Let's call him "M." To the partners, he's a genius—a future leader. But to his team, the people who work with him day in and day out, he's incompetent, rude, and a master of taking credit for their work. He once became enraged at a junior analyst for correcting his spelling errors on a slide, shouting, "If I wanted you to think, I would have told you to think." Yet, his reputation remained spotless. How is this possible? The junior analyst, who would later become the author of this book, discovered M's secret: he was a relentless and shameless self-promoter. He told everyone who would listen how great he was, and they believed him.

This frustrating and all-too-common disconnect between competence and credit is the central puzzle that organizational behavior expert Alison Fragale dismantles in her book, Likeable Badass: How to be Assertive and Warm (So People Notice Your Greatness). Fragale argues that for many people, especially women, the path to success is blocked not just by a lack of power, but by a more fundamental and often invisible "status problem." The solution isn't just to work harder, but to fundamentally change how others see you.

Narrator: In the professional world, we often focus on the pursuit of power—the control over resources, budgets, and people. But Fragale argues that we're missing the bigger picture. Before power comes status, which she defines as the respect, admiration, and value others place on you. While power is about what you can do, status is about how you are seen.

The evidence for this "status problem" is everywhere. Fragale points to research on the U.S. Supreme Court, where even the most powerful women in law are not immune. A study of eleven years of oral arguments found that female justices, who made up a quarter of the court, were responsible for a third of all interruptions. This isn't just a matter of rudeness; it's a signal that their contributions are perceived as less valuable.

Fragale frames this with a powerful metaphor attributed to Mark Twain: "If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first." For women navigating their careers, the power problem is a frog, but the status problem is the bigger, uglier one. Why? Because, as Fragale states, "resources follow respect." People grant power to those they already hold in high esteem. Therefore, focusing on building status first makes acquiring power a natural consequence, not an uphill battle.

Narrator: If status is the problem, the solution is to become what Fragale calls a "likeable badass." This isn't about being aggressive or arrogant. It's about mastering two fundamental dimensions of human perception that psychologists have mapped on what's called the interpersonal circumplex: Assertiveness and Warmth.

Assertiveness is about task competence. It's being seen as confident, capable, and effective. Warmth is about social connection. It's being seen as agreeable, caring, and trustworthy. The mistake many people make is believing these are a trade-off. Women, in particular, are often caught in the "competence-likeability bind": if they're assertive, they're seen as competent but cold; if they're warm, they're seen as likable but submissive.

A likeable badass shatters this bind by demonstrating both qualities simultaneously. Fragale illustrates this with the story of Kate, a young analyst who joined a company with the goal of rising quickly. Her boss gave her simple advice: "Make my life easier." Kate took this to heart. She started by doing small, helpful tasks, but soon discovered her real talent was creating compelling PowerPoint presentations. She began proactively offering this skill to senior leaders, saving them time and making them look good. She was demonstrating both competence (Assertiveness) and helpfulness (Warmth). Within four years, she was promoted twice, eventually becoming chief of staff to the CEO—a two-level jump. Kate didn't just do her job; she made sure her value was seen by being both a problem-solver and a generous colleague.

Narrator: Once a negative reputation is formed, it's incredibly difficult to change. This is due to confirmation bias—we tend to seek out and interpret information in a way that confirms our existing beliefs. If someone is labeled as "intense" or "not a team player," people will view all their future actions through that negative lens.

This is why Fragale argues that building a reputation requires playing offense, not defense. It's far easier to shape an initial impression than to fix a bad one. She tells the story of Victoria Pelletier, who became a COO at just twenty-four. Feeling insecure, she leaned into a no-nonsense, all-business style that earned her the nickname "the Iron Maiden." Her reputation was one of pure Assertiveness, with no Warmth. It took her years of intentional effort—and eventually moving to a new organization—to undo that damage and build a new reputation from the ground up.

In contrast, an offensive strategy means proactively shaping your narrative from day one. Like Kate, who immediately established herself as a helpful expert, you can enter your colleagues' consciousness as a likeable badass before they have a chance to form other, less favorable opinions.

Narrator: The idea that "great work speaks for itself" is a dangerous myth. In reality, you must be the chief storyteller of your own career. Fragale shares the powerful story of Meghana Dhar, who, after graduating from Harvard Business School, landed a high-level job at Instagram. Despite working tirelessly and delivering results, her first performance review was a shock: her manager told her other teams had complained about her lackluster performance.

Her manager gave her a crucial piece of advice: "Look at what Walt is doing." Walt was a peer who was considered a rockstar. Meghana observed him and realized he wasn't necessarily working harder, but he was a master of self-promotion. He sent out weekly newsletters celebrating his team's wins and hosted cross-functional meetings to showcase their work. He was controlling the narrative. Meghana immediately adopted this strategy. Within one quarter, her performance rating shot up to "exceeds," and a promotion soon followed. She learned a vital lesson: "Doing 90 percent of the work with self-promotion was better than doing 150 percent of the work without it."

Narrator: While self-promotion is essential, having others sing your praises is even more effective and efficient. Fragale outlines a clear strategy for building a network of "other-promoters." It begins with "mere exposure"—the psychological principle that people tend to like things they are familiar with.

She tells the story of the late professor Kathy Phillips, who, as a doctoral student at Stanford, made it a point to walk the hallways once a day, striking up brief conversations with every faculty member she passed. She wasn't asking for anything; she was simply making herself known. By the time she graduated, she was a household name, which laid the groundwork for a legendary career.

The next step is making "small deposits" of value. This is about giving without the immediate expectation of return. Fragale highlights Clare Hart, a CEO who is known for sharing a list she compiled called "twenty ways to say no." By generously offering this valuable resource to women in her network, she builds immense goodwill. This small, thoughtful act turns acquaintances into advocates who are eager to promote her to others.

Narrator: When it comes time to ask for what you want—a raise, a promotion, a new project—the likeable badass approach is to frame it as a mutual benefit. You must answer the other person's unspoken question: "What's in it for me?"

Fragale points to Annie Duke, the former poker champion turned corporate speaker. Duke disliked virtual keynotes, so she proactively offered clients a "fireside chat" format instead. By moving first, she anchored the negotiation. She framed it as a win for them: a more dynamic, engaging, and unique event for their audience. Clients loved it.

A masterful example of this is Sheryl Sandberg's salary negotiation with Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook. Instead of making it a contentious back-and-forth, she reframed the entire interaction. She reportedly told him, "Of course you realize that you’re hiring me to run your deal team, so you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only time you and I will ever be on opposite sides of the table." In one move, she demonstrated her value (Assertiveness) while signaling her future loyalty (Warmth), making it a clear win for him to give her what she wanted.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Likeable Badass is that status is not a fixed trait but a malleable game of perception. Getting the credit you deserve isn't about adopting a persona that feels fake or becoming ruthlessly aggressive. It is about strategically and authentically demonstrating two of the most fundamental qualities of human connection: that you are competent enough to get things done, and that you are warm enough to be a trusted ally. It is the deliberate, skillful combination of Assertiveness and Warmth.

The book's most challenging idea is its rejection of the comforting belief that meritocracy will save us—that our great work will eventually, inevitably, be recognized. It won't. The real-world challenge Fragale leaves us with is to shift our mindset. We must see self-advocacy not as a necessary evil, but as an essential and authentic part of our work. So the final question is: Are you willing to stop just being great, and start the crucial work of ensuring the world notices your greatness?