Mark: Alright Michelle, you've read the book. Give me your five-word review of Let It Settle Journal. Go. Michelle: "Stop fighting. Start noticing. Breathe." How's that? Mark: Not bad. Mine is: "Your anxiety is not broken." Michelle: Ooh, that's a bold claim. I like it. What do you mean by that? It feels like the entire self-help industry is built on the idea that our anxiety is broken and needs to be fixed. Mark: Exactly. And that's the premise we're diving into today with Let It Settle Journal: GUIDED PROMPTS and PRACTICES to MOVE YOU from CHAOS to CALM by Michael Galyon. What's fascinating is that Galyon isn't some guru on a mountaintop; he's an ICF-certified coach based in New York, and he hosts a podcast himself. This book feels like it was born from real-world coaching sessions with people dealing with very modern chaos. Michelle: That makes sense. It doesn't read like abstract philosophy. It feels very grounded, which is probably why it and its companion book have been so highly rated by readers. They seem to appreciate the practical, hands-on approach. Mark: And that's where his claim comes from. The book starts with this radical idea that feeling overwhelmed isn't a sign of weakness or that you're failing at life. In his words, "It's a sign that you're moving through life, just like the rest of us." Michelle: Okay, I can get on board with that. It’s a much more compassionate starting point than "you're broken, let's fix you." So if anxiety isn't the enemy, what are we supposed to do with it? Just… live with it? Mark: We're supposed to let it settle. And that's the first big idea we need to unpack.

Mark: Galyon tells this wonderful little story about a preschool student he calls Jack. He learned from watching this child that before you can settle into the present moment, you first have to draw awareness to the unsettled moments. You have to acknowledge the chaos before you can find the calm. Michelle: That sounds simple, but it's actually quite profound. We spend so much energy trying to ignore the chaos, push it down, or pretend it's not there. We think if we don't look at the monster under the bed, it'll go away. Mark: And Galyon says that's precisely why it has so much power over us. The first step isn't to fight the monster, it's just to turn on the light and see that it's there. The book is filled with prompts that ask you to identify where the stress is coming from, what thoughts are looping in your head. It’s about observation, not judgment. Michelle: Okay, so you observe the chaos. You name the monster. Then what? How do you actually get it to "settle"? Because my monsters are usually pretty loud. Mark: This is where the book gets incredibly practical. It introduces a number of tools, but one of the most powerful is the 5-4-3-2-1 Calming Technique. It’s a grounding exercise designed to pull you out of the storm in your head and back into your physical body. Michelle: I think I've heard of this. Walk me through it. Mark: It's beautifully simple. Wherever you are, you pause and you mentally name: five things you can see. It could be your laptop, a crack in the ceiling, the color of your mug. Then, four things you can feel or touch. The texture of your jeans, the cool surface of the desk, your feet on the floor. Michelle: So you're forcing your brain to focus on sensory input. Mark: Precisely. You're hijacking its attention. After four things you can touch, you name three things you can hear. The hum of the refrigerator, a car outside, the sound of your own breathing. Then, two things you can smell. Maybe your coffee, or the soap on your hands. And finally, one thing you can taste. It could be the lingering taste of toothpaste, or you could take a sip of water. Michelle: I have to admit, my skeptical side is kicking in. In the middle of a genuine anxiety spiral, where your heart is pounding and your thoughts are racing, is naming five blue things really going to stop it? It feels a little… simplistic. Mark: I get the skepticism, and the book acknowledges that. It’s not presented as a magic cure. The point isn't that the color blue has healing powers. The power is in the act of shifting your focus. Anxiety and fear live in the abstract—in the "what ifs" of the future or the "if onlys" of the past. This technique yanks your consciousness, kicking and screaming if it has to, back into the concrete reality of the present moment. Michelle: So it’s less about solving the problem and more about interrupting the panic cycle. It creates a pause. Mark: It creates a pause. A circuit breaker. In that moment, you're not thinking about the email you have to send or the argument you had. You're just thinking about the fact that the wall is beige and the chair is hard. It gives your nervous system a chance to catch its breath and remember that in this exact physical moment, you are safe. Michelle: That makes more sense. It's not a solution, it's a tool to get you to a place where you can find a solution. You can't think clearly when you're drowning. This is like a life raft. Mark: A perfect analogy. And the book is full of these life rafts. There's the "Butterfly Hug," a somatic technique where you cross your arms and gently tap your shoulders to self-soothe. There are breathing exercises. The core idea is that you build this internal toolkit, so when the chaos hits, you have something to reach for. Michelle: So you're not trying to build a fortress to keep the chaos out. You're just packing a really good emergency kit for when it inevitably finds you. Mark: Exactly. And once you have that kit, once you know how to create that sliver of calm for yourself, the book argues you can start doing the really hard work. Which brings us to what we do with that calm.

Michelle: Okay, so let's say I've used the 5-4-3-2-1 trick. My heart rate is back to normal. I'm grounded. Now what? Where does this journey go next? Mark: It turns inward first, and then outward. The second part of the book is called "Coming Home to Yourself," and it tackles things like self-love, letting go, and forgiveness. And it starts with another one of those counter-intuitive ideas that I think a lot of people in the self-help world need to hear. Michelle: Lay it on me. Mark: Galyon writes, "You don't have to change a single thing to be worthy of the things you desire. Who you are right now, in this moment, is enough." He challenges this idea that you have to be fully healed or "fixed" before you can experience love or connection. Michelle: Oh, I love that. It’s a direct challenge to the "I'll be happy when..." mindset. I'll be worthy of love when I lose ten pounds, or when I get the promotion, or when I've fully processed my childhood trauma. Mark: Right. He says you can lead with love even from a place of brokenness. But the most powerful section, for me, was about forgiveness. Because it's a concept we all struggle with. Michelle: It's so loaded. When someone has genuinely hurt you, the idea of "forgiving" them can feel like you're letting them off the hook. Like you're saying what they did was okay. Mark: And that's the myth the book dismantles. Galyon quotes someone who said, "Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." He frames forgiveness not as a gift you give to the person who wronged you, but as an act of liberation for yourself. Michelle: That’s a powerful reframe. It’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s about you choosing to put down the heavy weight you've been carrying. Mark: Precisely. And he offers a really structured process for this. It's not just "decide to forgive." It involves steps like acknowledging your anger, calculating the cost of holding onto that anger—what has it cost you in terms of peace, sleep, happiness? And then, and this is the key part, letting go of the vision of the future you had that the other person took away. Michelle: Wow. That’s it, isn't it? Sometimes the hardest thing to let go of isn't the person, it's the future you had planned with them. The life you thought you were going to live. Mark: Yes. Whether it's a relationship ending, a job loss, or a betrayal, we're often mourning a future that no longer exists. The book has a "Future Mapping" exercise where you literally write down that lost vision, and then you consciously work to craft a new one. It's an active, creative process of rebuilding. Michelle: That sounds incredibly difficult, but also incredibly empowering. But what about the anger? How do you get to a place of mapping a new future when you're still just… furious? Mark: You don't skip the anger. You go through it. He introduces a tool called the Anger RAID Meditation. RAID is an acronym: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Determine. Michelle: Okay, break that down. Mark: First, you Recognize the anger. You name it. "I am feeling angry." Second, and this is the hardest part for most people, you Allow it to be there. You don't suppress it or judge yourself for it. You just let the wave of anger exist in your body without acting on it. Michelle: That feels connected to the "Gremlin" idea he talks about earlier in the book—the inner critic. You have to listen to the gremlin to understand what it's trying to protect you from. You have to listen to the anger. Mark: Exactly. The third step is to Investigate. You ask it questions with curiosity. Why is this anger here? What boundary was crossed? What value of mine was violated? What is this anger trying to tell me? And only after that, you Determine the next steps. How do I want to respond in a way that aligns with my values, now that I understand the root of this emotion? Michelle: So you're treating anger not as a destructive force, but as a messenger. An alarm system that's telling you something important. Mark: A messenger that is often screaming and breaking things, but a messenger nonetheless. The whole process—from the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to the Anger RAID meditation—is about creating that tiny space between a stimulus and your response. In that space lies your power to choose.

Michelle: It really feels like a two-step process then. First, you use these simple, almost physical techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 to stop the runaway train of chaotic thoughts. You create a moment of stillness. Mark: You build the life raft. Michelle: Right. And only then, in that quiet space you've created, can you do the deeper emotional work of investigating your anger, letting go of a lost future, and ultimately, forgiving. You can't do that deep work while you're still flailing in the water. Mark: That's the entire philosophy of the book in a nutshell. It's not about becoming a zen master overnight. It's about having a toolkit for both the immediate crisis and the long-term healing. The two support each other. You can't do the deep work without the grounding tools, and the grounding tools are most powerful when they serve the purpose of that deeper work. Michelle: It makes the whole idea of mindfulness feel less like an abstract goal and more like a practical skill, like learning first aid. You learn it so you're ready when you need it. Mark: And you practice it. Galyon emphasizes that these are daily habits. You don't just wait for a crisis. You practice finding calm in ordinary moments, so the tools are sharp when you need them most. The book's final message is a really powerful reminder for anyone feeling overwhelmed. He says, "Your peace is worth fighting for, and you are worth the fight." Michelle: That’s a beautiful sentiment to end on. It puts the agency right back in your hands. It’s not about waiting for the world to become less chaotic. It’s about deciding you’re worth the effort to find peace within it. Mark: So, for our listeners, maybe the one thing to take away is to try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique just once this week. Not when you're in a crisis, but just sitting at your desk or waiting in line. Just to see how it feels to pull yourself fully into the present moment for 30 seconds. Michelle: I’m going to try that. I'm also genuinely curious what our listeners' 'go-to' calming techniques are. Everyone has something, even if they don't call it mindfulness. Let us know what works for you when the chaos swirls. Mark: When all else fails, the book's final line is the title itself: "take a deep breath in, breathe out, and let it all settle." Michelle: A perfect place to leave it. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.