Mark: Positive thinking might be the worst advice you've ever received. For elite performers, from Navy SEALs to Super Bowl quarterbacks, the secret to handling extreme pressure isn't optimism. It's something far more powerful, and far more honest. Michelle: Whoa, hold on. The worst advice? The entire self-help industry is built on the power of positivity. You're telling me it's a sham? Mark: For the people at the absolute top of their game, it can be a trap. And that's the core idea in a fascinating book called It Takes What It Takes by Trevor Moawad. Michelle: Moawad… he was known as the 'world's best brain trainer,' right? Worked with guys like Russell Wilson, who even wrote the foreword for this book. Mark: Exactly. And what's so interesting is his background. His father, Bob Moawad, was a famous motivational speaker, a real pioneer in the self-esteem movement and even a contributor to the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. But Trevor's whole philosophy was a quiet rebellion against that. He moved away from feel-good affirmations towards something he called neutral thinking. Michelle: A rebellion against Chicken Soup for the Soul? Okay, now I'm intrigued. So if positivity is out, what exactly is neutral thinking? It sounds a little... robotic.

Mark: It’s less robotic and more surgical. It’s about stripping away judgment—both positive and negative—and dealing with the cold, hard facts of the present moment. The perfect example is from Moawad’s work with Russell Wilson during the 2015 NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers. Michelle: Oh, I think I remember that game. Wasn't it a total disaster for Wilson at first? Mark: A complete train wreck. For the first 55 minutes, Wilson played one of the worst games of his life. He threw four interceptions. The crowd was booing. They were down 19-7 with just a few minutes left. A positive thinker might say, "It's okay! We got this! Believe!" which is basically lying to yourself. A negative thinker would say, "I'm blowing it, it's over." Michelle: And both of those feel completely useless in that moment. One is denial, the other is surrender. Mark: Precisely. But Wilson, coached by Moawad, was neutral. He came to the sideline after his fourth interception and told his offensive coordinator, "I'm going to keep firing. Be ready." He wasn't dwelling on the past mistakes or fantasizing about a miracle comeback. He was focused entirely on the next behavior. Moawad’s key phrase for him was, "Each play has a history and life of its own. It has nothing to do with what happens next." Michelle: Wow. So he's not ignoring the bad plays, he's just... unlinking them from the future? He’s treating each moment as a separate event, not part of a downward spiral. Mark: You've nailed it. He’s cutting the emotional chain between past failure and future action. And because he did that, he was able to lead two touchdown drives in the final minutes to force overtime, where he threw the game-winning touchdown. He didn't feel his way to victory; he behaved his way there. Michelle: That reminds me of the Apollo 13 story from the book. When the oxygen tank exploded, the astronauts didn't sit around saying, "I'm sure we'll make it home!" They weren't being positive. They were brutally neutral. The famous line wasn't "We have a feeling of impending doom," it was "Houston, we've had a problem." Mark: A perfect neutral statement. It's just a fact. And from that fact, they moved to the next behavior. What's the next problem? Carbon dioxide levels are rising. Okay, what do we have on board? A square filter, a round hole, a sock, and some duct tape. Let's build a solution. Moawad boils it down to one critical question you should ask yourself. Instead of asking, "How do I feel?" you should be asking, "What do I do?" Michelle: I love that. It takes the emotional drama out of it. Your feelings are real, but they aren't relevant to the next required action. Okay, I'm sold on the what. But how? My brain is a constant stream of garbage thoughts. How do you actually build this neutral mindset when you're surrounded by negativity, including from yourself?

Mark: Moawad argues that you have to build a mental fortress, and he focuses on the two most vulnerable entry points for negativity: your own mouth and your ears. He calls the first line of defense the "Verbal Governor." Michelle: A verbal governor. Like a speed limiter on a car, but for complaining? Mark: Exactly. Moawad believed that thoughts are one thing, but verbalizing negativity gives it immense power. He uses this chilling story about the basketball legend 'Pistol' Pete Maravich. In an interview in 1974, a reporter asked him about his future, and Maravich said, "I don't want to play ten years in the NBA and die of a heart attack at age forty." Michelle: Oh no. Don't tell me... Mark: He played exactly ten years in the NBA. And in 1988, at the age of forty, he collapsed and died of a heart attack during a pickup basketball game. He had an undiagnosed heart defect, but he had spoken his future into existence. Moawad uses this to show that what we say out loud can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Michelle: That's terrifying. So the first step isn't even to think positive, it's just to... shut up? Stop saying the bad stuff out loud? Mark: That's literally it. At the elite football programs he worked with, like Alabama and Georgia, he made a bet with the teams. He called it the "No Stupid Shit Out Loud" rule. Just stop verbalizing negativity. Stop complaining, stop making excuses, stop talking about how tired you are. That alone creates a vacuum where neutral, productive behavior can take root. Michelle: Okay, so that's guarding the exit—what comes out of your mouth. What about what goes into your ears? Mark: That's the second pillar: the "Negativity Diet." And to prove its power, Moawad conducted a wild personal experiment on himself. He was a mental conditioning expert with incredible resilience, but he wanted to test his limits. For one month, he deliberately exposed himself to three to four hours of pure negativity every single day. Michelle: What did that look like? Mark: An hour of the cable news channel he hated most, an hour of angry heavy metal music, and an hour of what he called "new country music," which he found depressing. He did this on top of his already stressful life. Michelle: That sounds like my doomscrolling habit, but with a soundtrack. What happened to him? Mark: It completely broke him. After 26 days, this man who trains Navy SEALs was having crying spells, couldn't sleep, and felt a crushing sense of hopelessness. He had to end the experiment. His conclusion was stark: negativity, in any form we choose to bring into our lives, is poison. We are what we consume, and that includes the media and conversations we allow into our minds. Michelle: That's so powerful because we all do it. We put ourselves on Moawad's negativity binge every day with our phones without even realizing it. We're poisoning our own well. Mark: And we have the choice to stop. That's the whole point. You can't control the world, but you can control your verbal governor and your negativity diet.

Michelle: So when you put it all together, it's not about being an emotionless robot at all. It's about being a surgeon. You acknowledge the reality of the situation—the bad plays, the broken spaceship, the negative thoughts—but you don't let the feeling about the reality dictate your next action. You focus on the behavior. Mark: Exactly. And that's why the book is so respected in elite circles but gets mixed reviews from some general readers. It's not a comforting hug. It's a cold, hard toolkit. It doesn't promise you'll feel good. In fact, it almost doesn't care how you feel. Moawad's core message is that you don't need to feel good to do good. You just need to do what it takes. Michelle: That’s a really freeing idea, actually. It gives you permission to feel anxious or scared, but still act effectively. I think a simple first step for our listeners could be a 24-hour challenge. No complaining out loud. Just for one day. Don't say the stupid shit out loud. See what happens. Mark: I love that. A verbal governor challenge. Try it out and let us know how it goes. We're always curious to hear how these ideas land in the real world. You can find us on our socials and share your experience. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.