Narrator: Imagine a quiet, 45-year-old woman named Jessie, working a predictable job in her husband's office in Atlanta. She feels unfulfilled, a quiet hum of dissatisfaction beneath the surface of her life, but she has no idea what she wants to do. After months of searching for a passion, she makes a startling announcement to her support group: she wants to race sled dogs in the winter race at Bear Grease, Minnesota. The idea is absurd. She's never seen a sled dog, lives in the South, and has no experience. Yet, the desire is undeniable. Against all logic, she pursues it, finding a training camp and eventually completing the race. The experience doesn't make her a professional racer, but it changes everything. It gives her the courage to quit her job and find a new path, proving that sometimes the most impractical longings are the most important.

This profound journey from confusion to clarity is the central puzzle explored in Barbara Sher's book, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. It serves as a guide for anyone who feels lost, arguing that the inability to find a goal isn't a personal failing but a symptom of hidden internal conflicts. The book provides the tools to uncover those conflicts and, like Jessie, find the courage to follow the call of a life you were truly meant to live.

Narrator: Many people feel trapped between a longing for adventure and a deep-seated need for security. They dream of a more exciting life but cling to the safety of a predictable job and routine, even if it's unfulfilling. Barbara Sher argues that this mindset is a dangerous illusion. As she puts it, "When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life." The real risk isn't failure; it's waking up years later filled with the regret of a life unlived, having wasted precious time and potential.

Consider the story of Jerry, an editor who dreamed of becoming a screenwriter. He felt his job was a trap, an obstacle preventing him from pursuing his passion. He complained constantly, believing he had to quit his job to be free. However, when an exercise forced him to imagine having unlimited time to write, he was terrified. The truth was, his job wasn't the obstacle; it was his shield. It protected him from the emotional risk of facing a blank page and potentially failing at what he loved most. By reframing his perspective, Jerry started writing for two hours every morning before work. His job transformed from a prison into a source of stability and relief, allowing him to pursue his dream without sacrificing his security. His story reveals that jobs aren't always the enemy; often, the real cage is the fear of taking an emotional chance on what truly matters.

Narrator: When you're stuck and don't know what to do, the most common advice is to think, plan, and analyze. Sher flips this on its head, arguing that action is the true engine of discovery. Thinking alone can lead to paralysis, but taking action—any action—exposes you to real-world feedback, boosts self-esteem, and attracts what feels like good luck. The book makes a powerful claim: high self-esteem comes after action, not before.

This principle is powerfully illustrated by a drug rehabilitation program for ex-addicts. These individuals had overcome addiction but saw themselves as "ex-junkies," lacking the confidence to hold a job. Traditional therapy wasn't working. So, counselors introduced a new strategy: "acting as if." They were instructed to dress and behave as if they were confident, first-rate employees, even if they felt the opposite. They started showing up, performing tasks, and projecting competence. The result was transformative. By acting the part, they began to develop real skills and genuine confidence. Their self-esteem didn't precede their success; it was a direct result of their actions. This demonstrates that you don't need to feel ready to start. Action is not the result of motivation; it is the cause of it.

Narrator: There's a unique form of unhappiness reserved for those who are, by all external measures, "successful." They have the prestigious job, the high salary, and the admiration of others, yet they feel empty and lost. Sher describes this as being on a fast track, "moving fast and getting more and more lost." These individuals often feel they have no right to complain, trapped by the "golden handcuffs" of a life that looks perfect on the outside.

This was the case for Marguerite, a futures trader on Wall Street. With a degree in American literature, she took a job in finance to save for graduate school but got swept up in the excitement and money. She worked fourteen-hour days, achieved incredible financial success, and completely abandoned her personal life. One day, she had a shocking realization: she hadn't read a novel in eight years. Her success had cost her the very passion that once defined her. She was a winner in a game she never consciously chose to play. Her story is a warning that pursuing society's definition of success without consulting your own heart leads to a hollow victory. You can never get enough of what you don't truly want.

Narrator: Sometimes, a dream isn't abandoned; it's stolen by "rotten luck"—an event completely beyond one's control. This could be a career-ending injury, a corporate layoff, or the loss of a loved one. Sher explains that this kind of loss requires a specific healing process, starting with the courage to grieve.

Bill M. was a gifted baseball player, drafted by a major league team right out of high school. He was on the cusp of living his ultimate dream when, during spring training, another player slid into him, causing an inoperable elbow injury that ended his career. Ten years later, he was working as an auto parts salesman, feeling numb and passionless. He wasn't unhappy, but he wasn't alive either. In therapy, he realized he was still grieving the loss of his baseball career. The book argues that you cannot move on from the past until you have fully mourned it. For Bill, and others like him, healing involves expressing the bitterness, praising the good parts of what was lost, and eventually forgiving the present for not being the past. Only then can a new dream begin to take root.

Narrator: Some people seem to be in a constant battle with ordinary life. They are talented and have big dreams but live in a state of perpetual crisis, resisting menial jobs, quarreling with potential allies, and blaming others for their lack of success. Sher calls this "a rage against the ordinary." These individuals, or "Ragers," believe they are special and destined for greatness, and that mundane work is beneath them.

Patrick, a talented sculptor, embodied this. He refused to take a regular job, floating between construction gigs he'd inevitably quit after fighting with clients and living off a series of supportive girlfriends. He was always on the verge of a breakthrough or a disaster. Sher reveals that this self-sabotage is not about arrogance, but about a deep, unconscious desire. She explains, "You actually want to be rescued more than you want your dream." Ragers are often trying to settle an old score from childhood, a time when they felt abandoned or wronged. Achieving their dream through their own hard work would mean letting go of the hope that someone will finally show up and save them, validating their specialness. The first step to breaking this cycle is recognizing this hidden motivation and shifting from seeking rescue to practicing altruism—bailing someone else out to build a stable sense of self.

Narrator: Often, the goal a person is struggling to achieve isn't their real goal at all. It's a "red herring"—a more socially acceptable or less vulnerable substitute for what their heart truly wants. More often than not, the hidden desire is for love and connection. The heart's needs are primary, and as Sher notes, "You cannot tell your heart what it wants. Your heart will tell you."

This was the truth for Lee, a photographer's representative who was convinced she needed a radical career change. She explored her interests in gardening, music, and comedy writing, but nothing felt right. The counselor suspected a deeper issue and asked about her love life. Lee broke down, confessing she was still heartbroken over her ex-boyfriend, Steve, who had moved away for a job. Her frantic search for a new career was a distraction from the pain and the belief that wanting love was "weak." On her counselor's advice, Lee took a courageous risk: she moved to Steve's town. This single, bold action to address her heart's true desire not only led to their reconciliation and marriage but also freed her to pursue her other passions. She eventually became a successful novelist. Her story shows that when you give your heart what it truly needs, you unlock the energy to achieve everything else.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was is that feeling lost is not a sign that you are empty or without desire. It is a sign that you are in the grip of a powerful internal conflict. Your dreams are not gone; they are buried, protected by layers of fear, outdated beliefs, and unresolved pain. The book's true genius lies in its compassionate assertion that you already have a unique purpose within you, and its primary goal is to help you identify and dismantle the specific inner obstacle that's standing in your way.

So, what is the impractical, illogical, or "trivial" desire that keeps whispering to you? Like Jessie's sled dogs, it may seem absurd. But Barbara Sher challenges us to consider that this very longing, the one we're most tempted to dismiss, might not be a distraction from our real life. It might just be the map to it.