Olivia: Jackson, I've got a wild statistic for you. 80% of companies believe they provide 'superior' customer service. Jackson: Okay, that sounds about right. A little arrogant, but believable. Olivia: Here's the punchline. Only 8% of their customers agree. Jackson: Whoa. Olivia: That gap... that 72-point chasm of delusion... is where our entire story lives today. Jackson: That's not a gap, that's a canyon. What is going on there? Olivia: Exactly. And that's the central question behind the book we're diving into today: Hug Your Haters by Jay Baer. Baer isn't just some blogger; he's a marketing consultant for giants like Nike and the UN. He wrote this book because he saw this massive disconnect firsthand, especially with how social media has turned every customer complaint into a public performance. Jackson: I have to admit, the title itself, "Hug Your Haters," sounds completely counterintuitive. My first instinct when someone is yelling at me online is definitely not to hug them. What does he even mean by that? Olivia: It means you engage. You answer. You show up. Because, as Baer argues, customer service has fundamentally changed. It’s no longer a private phone call. It’s a spectator sport, and the way you play the game determines whether you win or lose customers. Jackson: A spectator sport. I like that. It immediately makes the stakes feel higher. It’s not just one unhappy person, it’s an entire stadium watching you. Olivia: An entire stadium of potential customers. And that's why ignoring them is the most expensive mistake a modern business can make.

Jackson: Okay, the most expensive mistake. That’s a bold claim. How expensive are we talking? Olivia: Let me tell you a story that became a legend in business schools. It’s the story of a musician named Dave Carroll and his guitar. In 2009, he was flying on United Airlines and from his seat on the tarmac, he watched the baggage handlers carelessly throwing his expensive Taylor guitar around. Jackson: Oh, no. Every musician's nightmare. Olivia: He tried to tell the flight attendants, but was brushed off. When he landed, sure enough, the guitar was smashed. So he did what any of us would do: he filed a claim. For nine months, United Airlines gave him the runaround, a bureaucratic nightmare of 'no,' until they finally denied his claim completely. Jackson: Nine months of being ignored. I can feel the frustration building. Olivia: So Dave Carroll, being a musician, did what he does best. He wrote a song about his experience. He called it "United Breaks Guitars," filmed a simple music video, and uploaded it to YouTube. Jackson: And I’m guessing it didn’t just get a few hundred views. Olivia: Within days, it had millions of views. It was a global sensation. The story was picked up by major news outlets. And here’s the kicker: in the four weeks after the video went viral, United Airlines' stock price dropped by 10%, wiping out an estimated 180 million dollars in shareholder value. Jackson: Hold on. One guy with a broken guitar and a catchy song cost them 180 million dollars? That is absolutely insane. Olivia: That’s the power of one "hater" in the age of the spectator sport. And Baer backs this up with incredible research. He found that not answering a complaint decreases customer advocacy. For example, ignoring a complaint on email or phone can drop advocacy by a staggering 51 to 56 percent. Jackson: Wow. So silence is incredibly loud. Olivia: It's deafening. But here's the flip side, the "hug." Answering a complaint, even a public one, increases customer advocacy. On social media, a response can boost it by 20%. On a discussion board, it can be as high as 25%. You’re not just saving one customer; you're winning over the audience. Jackson: But isn't it better to just ignore the trolls? I mean, some people just want to watch the world burn. Engaging them just feeds the fire, right? Olivia: That’s the conventional wisdom, and it’s what feels natural. But Baer argues you’re thinking about it wrong. You're not replying for the hater. You're replying for the audience. The marketing guru Gary Vaynerchuk has a great line about this. He says the value of responding to one person is the magnification. It’s like holding a door for one person, but six other people see you do it. They now have a different perception of you. You’re performing for the crowd. Jackson: That’s a powerful reframe. You’re not in an argument; you’re on a stage. And your response is your performance. Olivia: Exactly. Your response says, "We listen. We care. We show up." And in a world where most companies are silent, that performance makes you stand out.

Jackson: Okay, I'm sold on the 'why.' The cost of silence is terrifying, and the benefit of responding is huge. But the 'how' still seems overwhelming. A complaint on Twitter is so different from an angry email. How do you even begin to handle all of it? Olivia: That’s the genius of Baer's next idea. He says not all haters are created equal. To hug them effectively, you first have to understand who you’re talking to. He splits them into two distinct groups: Offstage Haters and Onstage Haters. Jackson: Onstage vs. Offstage. Can you break that down? Is it just public versus private? Olivia: Pretty much. Offstage Haters complain in private channels. Think phone calls and emails. Baer's research shows they tend to be a bit older, less tech-savvy, and they complain less frequently. Most importantly, they want an answer. They have a problem and they want it solved. Jackson: I can picture this person. This is my uncle calling the cable company, with a notepad, ready to document the entire conversation. He wants a resolution. Olivia: Precisely. Then you have the Onstage Haters. They complain in public—on social media, review sites, forums. They're generally younger, more mobile, and they complain more often. And their motivation is different. They don't just want an answer; they want an audience. Jackson: Ah, the Yelp reviewer writing a dramatic monologue about their slightly-too-cold soup. They're performing for their followers. Olivia: Exactly. And because their motivations are different, your strategy for handling them has to be different. Baer creates two brilliant playbooks, with easy-to-remember mnemonics. For the Offstage haters—the ones who call or email—the playbook is H-O-U-R-S. Jackson: H-O-U-R-S. What does that stand for? Olivia: Be Human. Use One Channel. Unify your data. Resolve the issue. And do it with Speed. The "Human" part is so critical. He tells this amazing story about an oral surgeon, Dr. Glen Gorab. Every weekend, he personally calls every single new patient scheduled for the upcoming week. Jackson: A surgeon calls them? Before they even come in? Olivia: Yes. He just says, "Hi, this is Dr. Gorab. I know you're coming in next week, and I just wanted to introduce myself and see if you had any questions." It takes him about an hour. The effect is profound. Patients' fears melt away. They feel cared for before they even walk in the door. That’s being human. It’s not a script; it’s a connection. Jackson: That's incredible. It completely changes the dynamic. Okay, so that’s for Offstage. What about the Onstage haters, the public performers? Olivia: For them, the playbook is F-E-A-R-S. Find all mentions. Display Empathy. Answer publicly. Reply only twice. And Switch channels. Jackson: 'Reply only twice.' That one jumps out at me. Why only twice? Olivia: This is Baer's golden rule for public disputes. Your first reply is to acknowledge and offer help. Your second reply is to reiterate that help and try to move the conversation to a private channel. After that, you go silent. Anything more and you get dragged into a public mud-wrestling match that you can't win. You’ve shown the audience you tried. Now, it's on the hater to accept the help. Jackson: That’s so smart. It gives you an exit ramp. You look helpful, but you don't get stuck in an endless, toxic argument. But what about the first step, 'Find all mentions'? That sounds great for a huge company like KLM with a 150-person social media team. But what about a small coffee shop owner? How can they possibly do that? Olivia: It's more achievable than you'd think. Baer points out that most people don't even use the "@" symbol to tag a company. So you can't just wait for notifications. But simple tools like Google Alerts or searching your business name on Twitter can uncover most of it. And he tells this fantastic story about Fresh Brothers Pizza in California. Jackson: A pizza place? Perfect. Olivia: The co-owner, Debbie Goldberg, personally reads every single review on Yelp. When she gets a bad one—someone says the pizza was like cardboard or the service was slow—she responds publicly. She apologizes, shows empathy, and offers them a gift certificate to come back and give them another try. Jackson: And does it work? Olivia: It works wonders. She says people are shocked to get a response at all. They often come back, have a better experience, and sometimes even update their negative review to a positive one. She’s not just fixing a problem; she’s turning her biggest critics into fans, all while the entire Yelp audience watches. She’s using the F-E-A-R-S playbook perfectly. Jackson: Wow. So it’s not about having a massive budget. It’s about having the right mindset and a clear plan. Olivia: It's about choosing to show up. Whether you're a global airline or a local pizza shop, the principles are the same.

Jackson: This is all starting to click into place. It’s not about being a doormat or letting people walk all over you. It's actually about taking control. You control the narrative by showing up, being human, and having a strategy for when to engage and when to move on. The silence, the ignoring—that’s what's actually killing your brand. Olivia: Exactly. You’ve nailed it. And Baer's most profound point, the one that really sticks with you, is that the most dangerous customers aren't the haters. It's the "meh" middle. The research shows 95% of unhappy customers don't complain in a way the business can find. They just quietly leave. And they tell, on average, ten of their friends. Jackson: So the haters are actually doing you a favor. Olivia: They are giving you a gift. It's a free, if sometimes painful, consultation. They're showing you exactly where the cracks are in your business. They're giving you a chance to fix the problem, not just for them, but for all the silent, unhappy customers who didn't. And more than that, they're giving you a public stage to show everyone else that you care. Jackson: That's a huge mental shift. A complaint isn't an attack; it's an opportunity. So what's one thing someone listening can do today to start putting this into practice? Olivia: I love that question. Here’s a simple experiment. Find one negative review or comment online—it could be for a business you love, or even your own if you have one. And just watch what happens. Does the business respond? If so, how? How does it make you feel as an observer, as part of that spectator sport audience? Jackson: I like that. Become a student of the game. Olivia: Exactly. And we'd love to hear what you discover. Share your findings with us on our social channels. Let us know what you see out there in the wild. Jackson: A fantastic challenge. This has been eye-opening. It’s about so much more than just saying "sorry." Olivia: It's about turning criticism into connection. This is Aibrary, signing off.