Autumn: Hey everyone, and welcome back! Today we're tackling something “really” powerful: taking control of your life by understanding your mind. Rachel: So, basically, we're figuring out how to stop being your own worst enemy, right? Autumn: Exactly, Rachel! And there’s no better guide for this than Dr. Nicole LePera's book, “How to Do the Work”. It's about healing through holistic psychology – understanding how our mind, body, and soul all work together to shape our life story. Rachel: Ah, so we're talking about trauma, self-sabotage, those fun core beliefs that mess with us. Autumn: Yes, and specifically, how to take back control. We'll talk about practical tools like setting boundaries, managing our emotions, and “really” reconnecting with who we truly are. Rachel: Okay, so how are we going to break this down today? Autumn: We’ll look at three key areas: First, how our childhood and early experiences create the emotional patterns we still operate from. Second, we’ll dive into tools for rewriting those old patterns, using mindfulness and self-awareness. And finally, we'll connect it all to our physical well-being, because healing really is a mind-body experience. We can also understand it from the perspective of mind, body, and soul. Rachel: So, it's like, spring cleaning your brain, tossing out the old junk, and then redecorating? Autumn: A great analogy! But with the focus on nurturing growth and taking care of yourself completely – mind, body, and soul. Rachel: Sounds… ambitious. Alright, let's dive in.

Autumn: Let's move into where everything starts – the roots of trauma and how our core beliefs take shape. This is so important because it explains why we might feel stuck and also gives us the key to changing those patterns. Think of it like tracing the original blueprints of your emotional world. Rachel: Okay, so we're diving into the origins – what's causing all the emotional mess in the first place. I'm guessing a lot of it comes from childhood, right? Autumn: Absolutely. Our earliest interactions with caregivers, the environment, even societal structures, all shape how we see ourselves and others. If those early experiences are supportive and validating, we build a strong foundation. But if they involve trauma – whether big or small – they create weaknesses. Think of them as cracks in that foundation. Rachel: “Trauma” is a strong word, though. Most people think of huge, catastrophic events. Are we saying every tough childhood moment counts as trauma? Autumn: Not exactly. Dr. LePera broadens the definition of trauma, which is really important. It's not just the big, obvious things – like abuse or neglect – but also a build-up of smaller, consistent invalidations. For example, emotional neglect can be deeply traumatic. Imagine a child being constantly ignored or told their feelings don't matter. That can make them question their worth, just as much as physical neglect might. Rachel: So instead of a wrecking ball, some traumas are more like death by a thousand paper cuts. Subtle, but just as damaging over time? Autumn: Exactly. And it's not just personal. Systemic issues – like racism, sexism, or poverty – also contribute to trauma, leaving psychological injuries that aren't always visible, but that ripple through generations. Rachel: That's heavy. Can you give us a real-life example of what this looks like? Autumn: Sure. Take Christine's story from the book. She grew up in a home where her emotional and physical safety were constantly undermined. Her mother and siblings normalized bullying, so she internalized a sense of worthlessness from a young age. Then, when she experienced sexual abuse as a teenager, her feelings were dismissed by her family instead of being supported. That made her trauma even worse – first the abuse, then the invalidation. Rachel: Okay, so she wasn't just dealing with one bad thing – she was living in an environment that reinforced her feeling of being unsafe and unworthy? Autumn: Exactly. Over time, Christine coped by suppressing her pain and overeating to escape. But she wasn't really dealing with the root cause – the disconnection and unmet emotional needs. Her story shows how trauma shapes not just our emotional patterns, but also our physical and behavioral ones. Rachel: It's heartbreaking, but also relatable in many ways. I mean, how many of us bury things or develop habits we can't break, and then feel stuck without knowing why? Autumn: That's why looking at this through the lens of core beliefs is so powerful. Our early experiences plant those beliefs, like seeds. For example, if you grow up in a home where your feelings are invalidated – where you're told you're "too sensitive" or "dramatic" – you might start to believe that your emotions don't matter. Rachel: So you basically grow up gaslighting yourself? Autumn: Precisely! You lose trust in your own feelings and instincts. Over time, these hidden beliefs guide how you interact with the world. Imagine someone who believes, "I am not good enough." That belief could be planted by something as simple as constant criticism from a parent. As an adult, it might show up as perfectionism or fear of failure. Rachel: Let me ask this, though: if you grow up believing something like “I'm not good enough," wouldn't you realize at some point that it's just not true? When do we start to question these beliefs? Autumn: That's the challenge – many core beliefs operate unconsciously. They're like invisible scripts running in the background. You don't even realize they're there, shaping your thoughts, choices, and relationships. Rachel: So we're basically puppets of our own childhood? That's… encouraging. Autumn: Hold on – it's not hopeless! Understanding this is the first step to change. Once we recognize these patterns, we can start the work of reframing them. That's where healing begins. Rachel: Alright, you've piqued my interest. What about the physical side of all this? You mentioned earlier that trauma isn't just psychological? Autumn: Correct. Trauma leaves a mark not only on our minds but also on our bodies. For instance, when we face emotional neglect or other stressors, our nervous system gets stuck in survival mode – fight, flight, or freeze. Over time, this dysregulation shows up physically, as chronic tension, inflammation, or even illness. Rachel: So my anxiety isn't just in my head – it's in my shoulders, my back, my stomach? Autumn: Exactly. And it's not just our personal trauma that has physical effects. Trauma can even be passed down. Studies show that epigenetic changes – like how genes express themselves under stress – can be inherited from one generation to the next. Rachel: You're telling me I might be stressed out because my grandma was worried about something decades ago? Autumn: It may sound surprising, but yes! For example, children of Holocaust survivors or communities affected by systemic racism often inherit heightened stress responses. The trauma doesn't just stop with one generation – it ripples through families and communities. Rachel: So how do we stop passing this stuff down? How does the healing process actually start? Autumn: One small but powerful step is breaking patterns with intentional practices like self-care. For Christine, reclaiming pieces of her daily life – simple moments of routine that affirmed her worth – helped begin her healing journey. Things like journaling, setting boundaries, and practicing mindfulness allowed her to reconnect with herself. Rachel: And reframing those core beliefs plays a role here too, right? Autumn: Absolutely. Healing ultimately requires us to challenge those invisible scripts. It's about uncovering the beliefs – like “I'm not enough” or “I don't matter” – and rewriting them. That's where therapeutic practices like journaling come in. If you can identify those beliefs, you can consciously replace them with affirmations that create new neural pathways. Rachel: So instead of carrying around an “I'm not enough” mantra, you start telling yourself, “I'm inherently valuable” – and eventually, it sticks? Autumn: Exactly. Neuroplasticity, or the brain's ability to rewire itself, means that with consistent effort, those new patterns can become your default. It's not quick or easy, but it's transformative.

Autumn: So, understanding where these patterns come from is key to breaking free, which brings us to conscious awareness and rewiring. It’s really about taking control, you know? Recognizing those unconscious behaviors and working on them – what Dr. LePera calls "ego work" – to change them. Basically, moving from automatic reactions to intentional living. Rachel: Okay, I’m with you. We’re building on this whole "childhood emotional blueprint" idea and thinking: "Alright, what can I actually do about it?" Autumn: Exactly. Breaking free means building self-awareness – noticing those immediate reactions and emotional triggers as they happen. And ego work is a big part of that. It's about seeing how your ego tries to protect you, but sometimes goes too far, leading to defensiveness and conflict. Rachel: Hang on – let's clarify this "ego" thing, because some people might think Freud or yoga retreats. What exactly does Dr. LePera mean by "ego?" Autumn: That’s a great question. The ego is the part of us that creates our self-image. Its job is to maintain that image and protect it from anything that seems like a threat. But here's the thing: it often identifies too strongly with things like our job, our relationships, or even our opinions, and sees challenges to those things as attacks on who we are. Rachel: So, my ego is why I got so upset when someone criticized my favorite TV show? Autumn: Exactly! If you’ve tied part of your identity to your taste in entertainment, then when someone criticizes it, your ego sees that as a criticism of your worth. It overreacts because it feels like "you" are being attacked. Rachel: Which is why small things can blow up into bigger problems. Someone says, “You look tired,” and suddenly you’re thinking, "What are they really saying about me?" Autumn: Exactly! That’s the ego at work, filtering neutral comments through its own insecurities or defence mechanisms. But the good news is, once you spot these patterns, you can step back and manage them. Rachel: Okay, so step one is recognizing when your ego is overreacting, right? But how do you actually create space between "me" and, say, the little internal meltdown that starts every time I’m criticized? Autumn: Well, Dr. LePera has a creative suggestion: name your ego! Give it a name, like it’s a separate person. Rachel: Wait, you want me to name my inner critic? Like a "Bob" or "Janet?" Autumn: Why not? Think of it as giving a name to that defensive voice. Let's say you called your ego “Sam.” When Sam starts to react – getting offended, defensive, or upset – you can acknowledge Sam's presence. “Oh, that’s just Sam trying to protect me right now.” This helps you separate yourself from the emotional reaction, instead of completely becoming it. Rachel: That’s… both weird and strangely brilliant. I guess it’s hard to take your own drama too seriously when you’re calling it "Sam." Autumn: Precisely! It creates just enough distance to see the ego's patterns without judgment. Then you can choose to respond intentionally instead of just reacting. Rachel: And where does journaling fit in? You mentioned conscious rewiring earlier. Does that mean digging deeper into the ego's tantrums? Autumn: Absolutely. Journaling helps uncover those subconscious beliefs that are causing the ego’s overreactions. Try prompts like, “What makes me defensive, and why?” or “What’s underneath my frustration in this conflict?”. Writing these things out can reveal emotional patterns you didn’t even know were there. Rachel: Do you have any examples? Stories always seem to make things click for me. Autumn: Sure! In the book, there’s a story about a woman who felt incredibly guilty every time she tried to take a break. Journaling helped her find the belief behind it: that resting made her "lazy." She realized this came from growing up in a home where being productive was the only way to be valued. Once she found that root, she used affirmations like, “My worth is not defined by how much I achieve” to actively change her thinking over time. Rachel: That’s powerful – so you’re not just reflecting, you’re uncovering those roots and actively planting new beliefs in their place? Autumn: Exactly. But it’s more than just thinking new beliefs, it's about putting them into practice every day. That’s where things like mindfulness come in. Rachel: Alright, let’s talk about mindfulness then because I’m guessing that ties into how to handle emotional triggers? Autumn: Yes, mindfulness is key here. One tool Dr. LePera mentions is the "ninety-second rule." From a neuroscience perspective, most intense emotions only last about ninety seconds before they naturally calm down. But – and this is important – they only fade away if we don’t add fuel by obsessing over them with negative self-talk. Rachel: So, if I’m angry about a snide comment, I just need to hold on for ninety seconds and let the anger pass? Autumn: Essentially. It’s about pausing and grounding yourself instead of making the emotion worse with unhelpful thoughts. For example, instead of thinking, “Why would they say that? Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”, you can focus on what’s happening in your body. Feel your heart racing, the tension in your chest, and remind yourself that it’s temporary. Rachel: Sounds simple enough, but I’m sure it’s harder in reality. What if you’ve spent years spiraling every time you’re even a little triggered? Autumn: That’s where neuroplasticity comes in. Rewiring your responses takes consistency. Every time you pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting, you’re strengthening new neural pathways. It’s literally like working out, but for your brain. Rachel: I like that idea – turning your emotional habits into gym reps. Any success stories on this? Autumn: Absolutely. Kevin’s a great example. He would get super defensive every time someone gave him feedback because he had learned to associate criticism with rejection. But with mindfulness and journaling, he started pausing when triggered, asking questions like, “What’s the truth here, and how can I respond calmly?” Over time, his defensiveness lessened. Rachel: And his relationships improved, I assume? Autumn: Exactly. By changing his default response from reacting to reflecting, he was able to build more trust and intimacy. That’s the beauty of neuroplasticity – it makes intentional, lasting change possible. Rachel: Okay, but this all sounds like a lot of effort. For people just starting out, how do they stay motivated without getting overwhelmed? Autumn: That’s where compassion comes in, not only for yourself but for your ego, too. Instead of seeing your ego as an enemy, understand that it’s trying to protect you based on old scripts. Ask yourself, “What is my ego afraid of here?” That curiosity allows you to approach change gently, without beating yourself up. Rachel: So, instead of trying to "defeat" your ego, you’re just… having a conversation with it? Autumn: Exactly. That shift from frustration to curiosity builds resilience. It’s about creating a safe space to explore and heal rather than forcing change. And in that process, you unlock your potential to break free from harmful patterns and truly connect with yourself.

Autumn: So, stepping outside ourselves a bit, we move into expressing healing outwardly—nurturing the mind-body connection and our relationships. This brings us to what Dr. LePera calls holistic integration, a key piece of How to Do the Work. It’s really about blending that individual transformation with the well-being of the community, from tending to your own emotions and body to fostering supportive relationships. Rachel: Okay, so we’re zooming out now—moving from “fix myself” to “connect with others.” How does this all tie together, exactly? Autumn: Well, it’s a natural progression. Dr. LePera emphasizes that true healing doesn’t “really” happen in isolation. Holistic integration is all about connecting our mind, our body, and our spirit with our relationships and our communities. It’s not just about healing yourself, but also about contributing to the well-being of everyone around you. Rachel: Ah, I see where this is going. So self-improvement isn’t just a solo act—it’s more of a team sport? I can hear the introverts starting to panic already. Autumn: Not exactly! Connection doesn’t necessarily mean surrounding yourself with people all the time. It’s really about building relationships where there’s emotional safety, shared vulnerability, and mutual growth. We’ll also touch on somatic practices, the power of belief, and creating systems of mutual support—all of which tie back to physical, emotional, and spiritual resilience. Rachel: Alright, let’s dive into the body stuff first. You mentioned somatic practices earlier. What’s the big deal with breathwork, yoga, and mindfulness? Are these just trendy forms of exercise, or is there something more profound at play? Autumn: Definitely more profound. Somatic practices are “really” foundational because trauma and stress don’t just live in our heads—they’re stored in our bodies. The goal is to reconnect with your physical self and, in a way, reset your nervous system. Let’s start with breathwork: intentional breathing actually calms your vagus nerve, which helps regulate your stress responses. Rachel: The vagus nerve—sounds important. What does it actually do? Autumn: Well, it’s part of your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls your body’s “rest and digest” mode. Now, when trauma or chronic stress puts you into that fight-flight-freeze mode, intentional breathing helps reset that balance. For example, deep belly breathing—inhale for four counts, hold briefly, and then exhale slowly for six to eight counts—quiets that overactive stress response. Rachel: So, deep breaths aren’t just some cliché thing people say? They actually do something physiologically? Autumn: Absolutely, they “really” do. Breathwork practices have roots in ancient traditions, but they’re also backed by modern neuroscience. Regularly engaging in these exercises kind of rewires your baseline response to stress, essentially teaching your body to feel safe again. Rachel: Alright, breathwork sounds manageable. But yoga—are we just talking about improving flexibility here, or something more profound? Autumn: It’s both, actually! Yoga is amazing because it bridges emotional processing with intentional movement. Trauma often causes body disconnection—as if your emotions and physical self are separate. Yoga helps reintegrate that connection. For instance, poses like child’s pose or mountain pose, combined with focused breathing, gently allow you to feel grounded in your body again. Rachel: I bet that’s harder than it sounds for someone who feels totally “checked out” of their body. Are there any success stories? Autumn: Well, the book shares an example of someone who struggled with feelings of disconnection after a childhood marked by emotional neglect. They practiced trauma-informed yoga, focusing on grounding movements like planting their feet firmly into the earth during mountain pose. Over time, they reported feeling calmer and began reclaiming their body as a safe space. Rachel: So, it’s not just about getting better at downward dog—it’s about making peace with your physical self, especially if it’s felt like an unsafe place? Autumn: Exactly. And similarly, mindfulness takes this a step further by teaching us to live in the present moment. When someone experiences trauma, their mind often gets stuck in the past or worries incessantly about the future. Mindfulness helps pull them into “now.” Rachel: Okay, I get that mindfulness sounds very peaceful and meditative, but let’s be real—what does it look like in actual practice? Autumn: It’s about observing your emotions and sensations without judgment. Even just five minutes a day can make a big difference. One exercise could be sitting silently, focusing on your breath, and imagining your thoughts as clouds drifting by. You learn to acknowledge them without clinging to them. Rachel: So, instead of trying to “turn my brain off,” I’m just… watching the chaos like a spectator? Autumn: Exactly! And over time, this helps reduce emotional reactivity—because you’re no longer stuck in the whirlwind of your thoughts. Rachel: That’s a good segue into beliefs—you mentioned earlier how our thoughts aren’t always neutral. Let’s talk about this placebo and nocebo effect stuff. How is it that what we believe can actually affect us physically? Autumn: Great question. The placebo effect, for example, is when someone experiences real health improvements because they believe a treatment works, even if it’s just an inert sugar pill. It shows how closely linked our minds and bodies are—the brain can trigger physiological healing simply based on expectation and belief. Rachel: I’ve definitely heard about those studies. But doesn’t the opposite happen too? Like if you read a list of side effects and then bam, you magically start experiencing them? Autumn: That’s the nocebo effect. If you expect a treatment to harm you, you might actually experience negative outcomes—even if there’s no real biological reason for it. Both effects prove how powerful our belief systems are in shaping our physical and emotional well-being. Rachel: So is this just psychology, or is there solid science behind it? Autumn: There is. One study on patients with irritable bowel syndrome gave them placebos—but with warm, affirming descriptions about their efficacy. Even though the participants knew the pills were inert, many reported alleviated symptoms. It really demonstrates how optimism and trust can amplify the body’s natural healing processes. Rachel: That’s pretty wild. So the mind-body connection isn’t just conceptual—it’s actually measurable. Autumn: Exactly. It’s why nurturing a healthy mental environment is so important. Negative beliefs can trap you in cycles of pain or anxiety, while positive, empowering narratives can trigger healing. Rachel: Which ties us back to our relationships, right? Because how we connect with other people must influence those beliefs. Autumn: Absolutely. Relationships offer us what we call co-regulation—a way to stabilize our emotions through connection with others. For example, being around a calm, supportive friend during a tough moment can literally help regulate your nervous system Rachel: That makes sense. I mean, haven’t you ever walked into a room full of stressed people and felt the tension… or, conversely, noticed how one person’s calm energy seems to shift everyone else? Autumn: Exactly! Emotional states aren’t contained—they’re contagious. That’s why building supportive communities where people feel safe to be vulnerable is key to sustainable healing. Rachel: So when you said earlier that healing isn’t a solo pursuit, this is what you meant? Autumn: Yes. We heal best in community. Whether it’s sharing in a support group, leaning into reciprocal relationships, or addressing systemic inequities, these connections help us rebuild trust and resilience. Rachel: And community healing doesn’t just stop with the individual—it creates ripple effects, right? Autumn: Exactly. When someone heals and steps into their authentic self, they contribute to their community in ways that foster collective growth. This holistic integration is “really” the embodiment of sustainable well-being—where individual and collective healing merge into one unified approach.

Autumn: Okay, Rachel, we really covered a lot today. You know, from how trauma shapes us at our core, to becoming consciously aware, working with our egos, and really integrating healing into our minds, bodies, and even our communities. It's all about understanding those emotional blueprints we’re carrying around, challenging the patterns that don't serve us anymore, and, ultimately, finding strength in our connections. Rachel: Yeah, and what really resonated with me is that this isn’t just some mental exercise, right? Trauma, it lives in your body, your daily habits, your relationships… it's woven into, well, pretty much everything. But, you know, the tools that Dr. LePera’s giving us—journaling, mindfulness, even just deliberate breathwork—these are practical ways to start untangling that mess. Autumn: Exactly! And the real takeaway here is that healing is absolutely possible, but it’s a journey marked by self-compassion, a lot of curiosity, and consistent practice. It’s about creating the space to rewrite those old scripts, reconnect with yourself, and really fortify the ties that ground you. Rachel: So, for our listeners out there, here’s a little challenge for you: pick just one thing that really resonated with you today. Could be naming your ego, practicing that ninety-second rule, or, heck, even just, you know, making a conscious effort to take a deep breath. Start small, but the key is to start, right? Autumn: Absolutely. Because healing isn’t just about fixing what’s broken. It’s really about discovering what's possible for you. And by reclaiming that sense of wholeness, you're not just changing your own life, you're creating ripples that can “really” transform the world around you. Rachel: There you have it, folks. A little self-work can really go a long way. And, you know, who knows? Maybe this time next week, you'll be able to name your inner critic "Bob" and tell him to just take a seat. Autumn: I love that! So, here's to healing, personal growth, and, you know, putting in the work. Until next time!