Olivia: A study once asked formerly obese people if they’d rather be blind or obese again. Jackson: Oh, wow. I’m almost afraid to ask… what did they say? Olivia: An astonishing 89% chose blindness. That’s the world we’re diving into today. A world where losing a sense is preferable to taking up space. Jackson: That is staggering. It perfectly sets the stage for the book we're discussing, Happy Fat by Sofie Hagen and Stina Wollter. Olivia: Exactly. And Sofie Hagen is a fascinating figure—a Danish comedian and activist known for being incredibly direct and unapologetic. Her work is often praised for its raw honesty but also criticized by some for being confrontational. This book is a blend of memoir, manifesto, and a guide to fat liberation. Jackson: So it's not just a self-help book, it's a call to arms. Olivia: Precisely. And it starts by digging into where that feeling of 'I'd rather be blind' even comes from. The book argues this self-hatred isn't something we're born with. It's taught. And it often starts shockingly early.

Jackson: How early are we talking? I think a lot of people assume body image issues are a teenage thing. Olivia: The book makes it clear it starts much, much earlier. One of the authors, Sofie Hagen, recounts a memory from when she was just eight years old. She was at a routine check-up, and the nurse, without doing any tests or even a proper examination, just looked at her and told her mother she needed to lose weight because it was "dangerous." Jackson: At eight years old? Based on a glance? Olivia: Based on a glance. And that one comment became the starting pistol for a lifelong struggle. It planted this seed that her body was fundamentally wrong, a problem to be solved. The book is filled with these small, sharp moments that build into a fortress of self-loathing. Jackson: That’s heartbreaking. It’s like a single line of code that corrupts the whole system. Olivia: Exactly. And it's not just in clinical settings. There’s another story that I just can't shake. The author Stina Wollter is at a Valborgsmässoeld—a big public bonfire festival in Sweden. She's enjoying the evening, and a complete stranger walks up to her, pokes her in the stomach with his finger, and says, "Now you've eaten a few too many bananas, huh?" Jackson: Hold on. A stranger walked up and poked her? In public? Olivia: Poked her. Invaded her physical space to deliver an unsolicited judgment. She was so stunned she could barely respond. And that feeling, she writes, the feeling of his finger on her stomach, lingered long after he was gone. Jackson: I can't even imagine. It’s such a violation. But is that just people being cruel, or is it something more? Olivia: That's the core question the book poses. It argues these aren't just isolated incidents of meanness. They are symptoms of a much larger societal sickness. It’s a culture that normalizes disgust towards fat bodies, that teaches people they have a right to comment on, police, and violate them. Jackson: So the person poking her stomach feels entitled to do so because society has given him permission. Olivia: Permission and a script. He’s just acting out a role he’s been taught. And when this happens over and over, from doctors, from strangers, from family members, you start to believe it. You internalize the idea that your body is public property and that it’s fundamentally flawed. Jackson: It’s like being gaslit by the entire world. You’re told your experience of your own body is wrong. Olivia: That's a perfect way to put it. The book talks about how this constant barrage of negative messaging, especially from a young age, literally programs the brain. An 11-year-old girl once messaged the author saying she wanted to die because she didn't have a "thigh gap." Jackson: Eleven. That’s devastating. It feels inescapable. If the world is constantly telling you you’re wrong, how do you even begin to fight back? Olivia: Well, the first step, according to Happy Fat, is realizing that the world is lying.

Jackson: Okay, so these aren't just isolated incidents of cruelty. You're saying there's a bigger system at play. What does that system look like? Olivia: The book uses a brilliant analogy: it's like living in The Truman Show. You think you're living in reality, but you're actually in a world constructed to keep you insecure and compliant. And the producers of this show are the diet industry, the media, and even parts of the healthcare system. Jackson: The ones who profit from the insecurity. Olivia: Precisely. The book gives a chilling example. The author uses an online BMI calculator. She puts in her numbers, and it immediately labels her "obese" and lists a terrifying menu of potential diseases. And then, on the very same page, an ad pops up. Jackson: Let me guess. A solution? Olivia: A solution. An offer for weight-loss surgery, with convenient locations in Stockholm or Gothenburg. She then realizes the website is owned by the very healthcare company that performs the surgeries. They create the problem and sell the cure in the same breath. Jackson: Wow. That's not healthcare; that's a sales funnel. It's predatory. Olivia: It's a business model built on shame. And the media plays a huge role in this. The book talks about the concept of "symbolic annihilation." It’s the idea that when you don't see people like you represented in culture—or when you only see them as jokes or villains—it sends a powerful message that you don't matter. Jackson: That makes so much sense. You almost never see a fat person in a movie who isn't the butt of a joke, the sad best friend, or on a "weight loss journey." They're rarely just... a person. A hero, a love interest. Olivia: Exactly. Sofie Hagen talks about tweeting "We need a fat Disney princess" and the absolute firestorm of hatred she received. People were furious at the idea of a fat person being centered, celebrated, and seen as worthy of a fairytale. It’s because it breaks the rules of the constructed world. Jackson: This is where the big question always comes up, though. The one people use to shut down these conversations. But what about health? Isn't that the real reason society is so obsessed with weight? Isn't it just about concern? Olivia: That is the ultimate weapon, isn't it? The "health" concern. And the book dedicates a huge, powerful section to dismantling it. It argues that the link between weight and health is far more complex and often exaggerated. In fact, the stigma and discrimination fat people face are often more detrimental to their health than the weight itself. Jackson: How so? Olivia: The stress of constant judgment raises cortisol and blood pressure. Fat people often avoid going to the doctor because of past shaming, which means real illnesses get diagnosed late. There's a heartbreaking story in the book about a man whose doctor told him his stomach pain was just because he was fat. He insisted on an X-ray. It was a 30-pound tumor. Jackson: My god. So the "concern for health" is actually causing harm. Olivia: In many cases, yes. The book argues that this focus on health is a red herring. It shifts the goal from a political one—the right to exist without discrimination—to a personal one: the responsibility to become "healthy" to earn respect. And that reframes the entire mission. The goal isn't to get healthy. It's to get free.

Jackson: Okay, "get free." I like that. It feels bigger than just "love your body." It sounds like a rebellion. What does that rebellion look like in practice? Olivia: It’s both internal and external. The book makes a clear distinction between body positivity, which has been co-opted by corporations and often focuses on individual feelings, and fat activism or fat liberation, which is a political movement demanding systemic change. Jackson: So it’s not just about feeling good, it’s about fighting for rights. Olivia: Exactly. And the fight can start with small, personal acts of defiance. There's an incredible story where the author is in Dubai, eating a hamburger. A group of women at another table are staring, whispering, and laughing at her. The old her would have shrunk, felt ashamed, maybe left. Jackson: I think most people would. That sounds mortifying. Olivia: It was. But instead, she feels this cold anger rise up. She calls the waiter over, and loudly and clearly, for everyone to hear, she says, "I'll have another hamburger, please." Jackson: Whoa. Olivia: She eats the second hamburger while staring directly at the women. They get uncomfortable, ask for their bill, and leave. She broke the unspoken rule: fat people should be ashamed of eating in public. In that moment, she wasn't just eating a burger; she was taking up space and refusing to be shamed. It was an act of liberation. Jackson: That’s a power move. It’s turning their weapon back on them. But what about for those of us who aren't fat? How do we move from being a bystander to an ally? Olivia: The book has fantastic, concrete advice for this. It’s about recognizing what it calls "thin privilege." Simple things, like not having to worry if a restaurant's chairs will be too small, or if an airplane seatbelt will fit. Being a good ally means thinking about those things. Suggesting a place with booths instead of tiny chairs. Walking at a pace your friend is comfortable with. Jackson: Wow. I have to admit, I've never once thought about whether a chair would be comfortable for a friend. That's thin privilege right there. It's invisible to those who have it. Olivia: It is. And a huge part of allyship is just shutting down fatphobic talk. When someone makes a fat joke, you don't laugh. You say, "That's not funny." When a friend complains about "feeling fat," you can gently redirect them by saying, "I hear you're feeling bad about your body today," instead of validating the idea that fat is the worst thing a person can be. Jackson: It's about changing the culture, one conversation at a time. Olivia: Exactly. You're helping to dismantle the Truman Show from the inside.

Jackson: This is so much bigger than I thought. It’s not about bikinis and self-esteem. It’s about human rights, economics, and a fundamental re-evaluation of what we value. Olivia: It really is. The journey the book takes us on is profound. We go from the deep, personal pain of a child being shamed by a nurse, to seeing the massive, systemic lie constructed by capitalism, and finally, to realizing that the solution isn't just to love yourself more. It's to demand a world that's built to love you back. Jackson: That’s a powerful shift. It takes the burden off the individual and places it back on the system. If there's one simple thing our listeners could do today to start this process, what would the book suggest? Olivia: The most immediate, practical advice is to curate your social media feed. It's your personal corner of the world. Unfollow every account that makes you feel bad about your body—the diet teas, the "fitspo" influencers, anyone whose "perfection" feels like a judgment. Then, actively search for and follow fat creators. Fat athletes, fat fashionistas, fat artists, fat people who are just living joyfully and unapologetically. Jackson: You're essentially deprogramming and reprogramming your own brain. Olivia: You are. You're showing your brain that fat can be beautiful, powerful, and happy. It's a small act of defiance that, over time, can retrain your perception of the world and your place in it. Jackson: I love that. It’s something everyone can do right now. It leaves me with one final question for our listeners to think about: What's one "rule" about your body you've been following that you could break this week? Olivia: A perfect question to end on. Jackson: This is Aibrary, signing off.