Autumn: Hey everyone, and welcome back to the show! Let me kick things off with a question we’ve all heard a million times: "Just be patient, love will find you," right? It sounds nice, but honestly, what if waiting around isn't really the best strategy? What if there's a more, shall we say, active way to find love? Rachel: Exactly! You know, Autumn, because just passively "waiting for it to happen" feels as realistic as hoping a prince is going to show up at your doorstep, with roses, and a check for a million dollars, right? Autumn: Precisely! That's where Matthew Hussey's "Get the Guy" comes into play. It's all about ditching those tired old romance myths and replacing them with real, actionable strategies that put you in control. It's not about changing who you are to snag a relationship. It's about building your confidence, understanding your worth, and creating a life and connections that you actually want. Rachel: Okay, so this isn’t your typical "play hard to get" or "become the perfect woman" type dating advice, then. Sounds… promising. Autumn: Not at all! Hussey has a really fresh perspective, focusing on being proactive and authentic. As he dives into what makes connections actually work—things like shared values, deep emotional connection, and supporting each other's growth—and why feeling confident and being intentional are super important for finding not just any relationship, but the right one. Rachel: Alright, so lay it on us. What’s the agenda for today? What are our waypoints on this journey to the “driver's seat”? Autumn: I'm glad you asked that, Rachel! Today, we're going to dive into three major points from the book. First, we're going to look at the big shift in how we think about romance, from waiting for fate to grabbing the reins ourselves—how your mindset is way more important than just hoping for luck. Second, we'll share some real, practical ways to create chances for real connections, without forcing things. And third, we'll dig into how confidence and intention work together—what it really means to value yourself in the dating world. Rachel: Got it. So, we're reimagining romance, getting some tangible action steps, and taking a closer look at what confidence actually looks like in practice. Sounds like a lot to unpack! Autumn: It is! So, let's get started, shall we?

Autumn: Okay, so let's dive into this cultural shift, Rachel—you know, how we're moving away from just hoping love happens and actually doing something about it. It’s quite the evolution when you really think about it. Rachel: It really is. I mean, Autumn, the whole idea that "love will find you" has been the bedrock of romantic stories for ages. Think of all those rom-coms with the cute meet-ups, coffee spills, or bumping into someone cute in the rain. But let's be honest, that's not really how dating plays out in 2023, is it? Autumn: Exactly, Rachel. Hussey argues that while those chance encounters are romantic, they're not exactly reliable in today's fast-paced world. The shift is from letting fate take the reins to us actually grabbing the steering wheel. And here's the thing—it's not just about finding someone; it’s really about taking control of your own life and happiness. Think of it as creating opportunities, rather than just waiting around for a lucky break. Rachel: So, we're flipping the script from "waiting for destiny" to… what, actively shaping our own destiny? So, it sounds like we’re DIY-ing our love lives. Do you think that sits well with everyone? I imagine there are some serious romantics out there who might think this takes all the magic out of relationships. Autumn: I see your point, but there's still definitely room for that spark, that so-called magic. It's just that we're not relying on it to get things started. Hussey believes that being proactive doesn't kill romance; it actually makes those magical moments more likely. Take Sarah's story from the book, for instance. Remember her? Rachel: Oh, right, Sarah – the marketing pro who thought Prince Charming would just stroll into her life while she waited? Spoiler alert: he didn't. Autumn: Exactly! When Sarah realized her passive approach wasn't working, she decided to shake things up. She joined a local hiking group—not just to find a date, but because she genuinely loved hiking. That’s key: reconnecting with something you're passionate about. And guess what? By joining this group, she not only met new people but also found someone who shared her love for the outdoors and ended up being her long-term partner. Rachel: Okay, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment. Some people might say, "Well, good for Sarah, but not everyone has a 'hiking group' equivalent or the time to do all these things. What's the practical advice for those who feel stuck and can't find these opportunities?" Autumn: That’s a really great question. Hussey stresses the importance of aligning your efforts with what you actually enjoy and value. So if you don’t have a hiking group nearby, maybe it's something smaller. Like a weekend workshop, volunteering for a cause you believe in, or even joining an online community related to your hobbies. It’s all about creating environments where you feel comfortable and can be yourself. Rachel: Right, because when you're in a space that feels authentic, the connections will also feel more real. It's not just, "Hi, I'm Rachel, and I'm single." It's "Hi, I'm Rachel, and we're both here because we love, I don't know, collecting vintage maps or something." Autumn: Exactly! And Sarah isn't the only example. There’s Elena, who turned her frustration with dating apps into a proactive experiment. She started going to local art workshops. These workshops reflected her creativity and artistic passion, and she ended up forming a meaningful relationship with someone who truly appreciated her and her talent. Rachel: So, it’s really about shifting your focus. Instead of banging your head against the wall with things that don’t work – like endless swiping – you put that energy into places you actually enjoy being. Autumn: Totally. But it’s not just about the activities themselves; it’s about showing up with intention. Being present, open to talking to people, and willing to see where things go. Hussey insists that being proactive isn't about being desperate, but about making your life richer, which then makes it more likely you’ll meet someone who’s right for you. Rachel: Okay, Autumn, I have to ask: How does all this intentional social participation affect your confidence? Because, honestly, jumping into new situations—like a workshop or a meetup—is easier said than done. It can be “really” intimidating, especially if you're not naturally outgoing. Autumn: That's a valid point, Rachel, and Hussey addresses that too. He suggests starting small and focusing on places where you feel comfortable. Confidence isn’t something you need to have beforehand; it’s something that grows as you take small steps to engage with the world around you. You don’t have to be the most charismatic person in the room; you just need to show genuine interest in the people you meet. Rachel: So, no need to be the life of the party right off the bat. You're saying something like volunteering or going to a casual event could be a good starting point? Autumn: Absolutely. In fact, David and Fiona’s story is a great one from the book. Neither of them was actively looking for love when they started volunteering at an animal shelter—they just wanted to give back to the community. But as they worked together, walking dogs and organizing events, they built a natural connection based on shared values. That's the power of authenticity and proactivity working together. Rachel: I like that. It's almost like these opportunities aren't just about meeting someone; they're about making your own life better first. And love? Love becomes a nice bonus, not the only thing you’re after. Autumn: Exactly, Rachel. And I think that’s what Hussey is “really” driving at. Relationships work best when they're built on personal fulfillment and mutual growth. By actively shaping your dating life – and your life in general – you're opening yourself up to connections that are not only meaningful, but also built to last.

Autumn: Okay, Rachel, so we've covered a lot today. Shifting away from just passively waiting for dates, and really embracing a more proactive approach. Matthew Hussey's work is a great reminder that love isn't just something you stumble upon. It's really about actively creating opportunities that match your passions, values, and goals. Rachel: Right. And it’s not just about this idea of, "Oh, I need to find someone," but really, it's about building a life that feels full and authentic to you first, right? Like whether you join a hiking group, volunteer, or attend a workshop, the point is to live intentionally, and then just let connections happen naturally from that space. Autumn: Exactly! And let's not forget about confidence, right? Hussey really emphasizes that confidence is built from these small, deliberate actions we take. So whether you're an extrovert or an introvert, what really matters is showing up in spaces that feel right for you, and just being open to those possibilities. Rachel: Alright, so what's the takeaway for everyone listening? Be intentional, but maybe don't overthink it. Start small—whether that's exploring a new hobby, attending an event, or, heck, even just saying hello to someone new. The key is to engage in things that actually feel authentic to who you are. Autumn: Yes! And with that intentionality comes empowerment, right? Instead of sitting back and just letting life happen to you, you're actually crafting a life—one that's vibrant, fulfilling, and open to meaningful connections. Remember, the magic isn't gone, we're just taking the reins in crafting it ourselves. Rachel: Well said, Autumn. So basically, what we're saying is finding love isn't about just stumbling onto it it’s about building a life that is so awesome that somebody just wants to stumble alongside you! Autumn: Oh, I love that, Rachel! What a great note to end on. So alright, to everyone out there: take charge, live authentically, and build the life and love you deserve. Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next time! Rachel: See you next time!