Autumn: Hey everyone, and welcome back! Today, we’re diving into a powerful tool from modern psychology—one that can actually change the way you think and feel. Rachel, I gotta ask, have you ever been caught in a spiral of negative thoughts, convinced things are way worse than they are? Rachel: Oh, you know it. "I messed it all up," "It’s my fault"—the usual self-criticism on repeat. But isn’t that just part of life, Autumn? Negative thoughts happen. Are you saying we can just… make them go away? Autumn: Not exactly vanish, but shift them. We're talking about Dr. David Burns's book, “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”. He shows how our skewed thinking isn't just a result of our moods; it often causes anxiety and depression. His solution? Cognitive therapy to spot and challenge those mental traps we fall into, so we can take control of our emotions. Rachel: So, less about forced "positive vibes" and more about changing your perspective? Autumn: Precisely! Burns argues it's how we interpret events, not the events themselves, that shape our feelings. And he gives us concrete tools to rewrite our internal narratives. Rachel: Sounds intriguing, but a little… ambitious. Let me guess, boosted self-esteem and maybe even a procrastination cure are included? Autumn: You're on the right track! We're going to break down his method into three parts today. First, we will uncover the traps of “cognitive distortions” that skew reality and feed negative thinking. Then, we'll explore life-changing techniques to rewire those patterns. And finally, we'll look at how to find hope when things seem hopeless, offering lifelines for those moments life feels overwhelming. Rachel: So, a mental martial arts lesson? Learning to deflect negative thoughts before they knock us flat? Autumn: You got it, Rachel. But it’s not about brute force. It’s about self-compassion, patience, and precision. So, let’s get into Burns’s approach to feeling good!

Autumn: Okay, so let's jump right in and talk about cognitive distortions—those sneaky mental traps that warp how we see everything: ourselves, other people, the world around us. These aren't just random negative thoughts, you know? They're deeply ingrained patterns that twist reality and “really” fuel things like anxiety, guilt, even depression. And a super common one is all-or-nothing thinking. Rachel: All-or-nothing, gotcha. So, it's like that black-and-white worldview, right? You're either totally crushing it, or you're a complete failure. Is this basically a perfectionist's worst nightmare? Autumn: Exactly, Rachel. Think of a student who says, "If I don't ace this exam, I'm a total failure." It sets this impossible standard, and when they don't meet it – which, let's be honest, is pretty likely – they end up feeling inadequate and doubting themselves. Rachel: Right, so a single misstep becomes a catastrophe. Like, one bad grade, and BAM, "I'm destined to live in my parents' basement forever.” Autumn: Precisely. And what's so tricky about this distortion is how real it feels in the moment. When you're trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, your brain genuinely frames things as success or failure, with no room for anything in between, no room for growth. And that’s just one type of distortion. Rachel: Right, because then there's mental filtering, where you zero in on, like, one negative thing in an otherwise good situation, right? Autumn: Exactly! So, imagine someone gets amazing feedback on a performance review, right? But their boss throws in one tiny bit of criticism. Instead of celebrating all the positive stuff, they fixate on that one comment, thinking, “Oh my god, I’m terrible at my job.” Rachel: It’s like watching a great movie, but you can’t even focus cause you're fixated on a smudge on the screen. Autumn: That’s a great way to put it. And this habit of focusing on the negative and ignoring the positive, it creates this distorted view of reality, feeds into low self-esteem. It can even stop people from recognizing their own accomplishments. Rachel: Okay, what about overgeneralization? I think we've all been guilty of this one time or another. You know, like one bad experience and suddenly the world is ending? Autumn: Yep. Someone gets rejected once; they think, "I'll never be loved." Or they bomb a job interview, and it's, "I'm destined to be unemployed forever." It's not just drawing the wrong conclusion; it's applying it as a universal truth, right? Rachel: Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. You spill coffee on your shirt and decide you're unworthy of ever drinking coffee again. Autumn: It sounds ridiculous when you put it like that, but in the moment, it feels so real. And that's the issue with these cognitive distortions---they hide behind these intense emotions. And speaking of which, a close cousin to overgeneralization is jumping to conclusions. Rachel: Ah, the mind-reading Olympics. “They didn’t text me back; they must hate me," or, "If I ask him for help, he’ll think I’m incompetent.” Autumn: Exactly – assuming you know what others are thinking, or even predicting disaster without any actual evidence. This distortion thrives when we fill in the blanks with assumptions, and those assumptions are almost always negative. Rachel: Okay, but now let's talk about one I think we all secretly love to hate: the infamous "should statements." Autumn: Oh, yes. “I should always be perfect,” or “People should never let me down.” These are these rigid, self-imposed rules that set impossible standards for ourselves and everyone else. And the result? Guilt, frustration, and constant disappointment. Rachel: It’s like having an internal dictator, barking orders 24/7. And the cruel irony is, even when you do manage to meet these ridiculous "shoulds," you just set a new one, right? Autumn: That’s exactly the problem. It's this endless cycle of trying to reach the unattainable. But here’s the thing, Rachel, and it's really important: These distortions are patterns, not facts. They feel so powerful because they happen automatically, without us even realizing it. But once you learn to recognize them, they start to lose their grip. Rachel: Okay, so what's the toolkit here? How do we turn down the volume on these negative thoughts? Autumn: Right, this is where Dr. Burns’s techniques come in. One of the most straightforward things you can do is keep a thought diary. Note down the situations that trigger you, what emotions you felt, and the automatic thoughts that pop up. When you analyze your diary, you will notice patterns, like “Oh, I always assume people are upset with me if they don’t text back immediately.” Rachel: Okay, and then? Just stare at the pattern and hope it disappears? Autumn: Not exactly. That's where the triple-column technique comes in. It's a structured way to break down your thoughts and reframe them. You divide a paper into three columns. The first column is for writing down the automatic thought, like "I’m a failure." In the second column, you identify the cognitive distortion at play. Like, "Oh, this is all-or-nothing thinking." And the third column is where you write a rational response that challenges the distortion. Something like, "I didn’t meet today’s goal, but I’ve succeeded plenty of times before, and I can definitely try again." Rachel: Turning that negative self-talk into verbal sparring practice. I like it. Autumn: Exactly. And for someone like Hal—and he’s a great case study for this—it was a “real” game changer. Hal lost his job and just spiraled down into self-criticism, thinking he was completely worthless. But then he started using the triple-column technique to challenge his automatic thoughts, and he realized they were rooted in perfectionism. And reframing things helped him see his job loss not as a flaw, but an opportunity to grow. Rachel: So, instead of sinking into, “I’ll never succeed again,” he switched to, “I’ve overcome challenges before and can rebuild.” Autumn: Yes! And that kind of reframing doesn’t just change the moment; it sets you up for long-term resilience. But, as much as we focus on conscious thoughts, Burns also talks about subconscious silent assumptions—those deeply ingrained beliefs we have that are below the surface. Rachel: So the unspoken rules that govern our lives? Like, “If I’m not perfect, I have no value”? Autumn: Exactly. And these assumptions are even trickier because they’re baked into how we see the world. Let’s take Susan, for example, whose silent assumption was, “I must always put others first to be truly loved.” And that belief led her to neglect her own needs, which, of course, led to burnout. Therapy helped her reframe that: “Helping others is important, but respecting my own needs makes me stronger and happier.” And that shift improved her relationships and her mental health. Rachel: So, these tools aren't just about fixing surface-level problems, they dig deep to find the root causes of why we think and feel the way we do. Autumn: Absolutely! When we challenge both automatic distortions and silent assumptions, it's like a double win. We get immediate relief from those negative emotions and long-term resilience. And that's the beauty of Dr. Burns's approach – it's not about forcing positivity; it's about getting clarity and treating ourselves with compassion.

Autumn: Understanding these cognitive distortions really sets the stage for tackling them, right? Cognitive therapy kind of bridges that gap between identifying the problem and actually transforming it. Today, we’re diving into the specific tools Burns lays out for personal growth. And these aren’t just abstract ideas, they’re concrete methods aimed at issues like low self-esteem, procrastination, anger, you know, dealing with criticism. The best part? Real-life examples that show us how they actually work. Rachel: Okay, so we’re moving from "Here’s how you’re messing things up" to "Here’s how to, you know, “not” mess things up." Give me a roadmap, Autumn, because I’m definitely intrigued. Autumn: Absolutely. Burns structures these methods into a few key areas. First, enhancing self-esteem using techniques like challenging perfectionism and really recognizing your own intrinsic worth. Then, we'll tackle procrastination – breaking that cycle of lethargy with actionable tools like the daily activity schedule. Next up, we'll explore managing anger and criticism, and, you know, ways to stay rational, even when things get heated. And finally, self-compassion – building a foundation for everything else. Each tool sort of builds toward resilience and emotional growth. Rachel: So, it's like putting together an emotional survival kit. Let's dive in – what’s the first tool we pull out of the box? Autumn: Let’s start with self-esteem and this technique Burns calls "Dare to Be Average." It’s really aimed at people who are sort of trapped in perfectionism, where their self-worth is all tied up in achieving impossible standards. Rachel: Ah, yes, perfectionism. The gift that keeps on taking, right? What’s this “daring” bit about, then? Autumn: Well, essentially, it’s about freeing yourself from that need to perform at, like, 110% all the time. Intentionally aiming for "average" on certain tasks, just to show yourself that your worth isn’t actually riding on being perfect. Rachel: Wait, so you’re telling people to deliberately try to do worse? Sounds... counterintuitive, to say the least. Autumn: I get why it sounds weird, but hear me out. Jennifer, for example, was a straight-A student but the pressure to be perfect left her anxious and totally drained. Her therapist suggested "Dare to Be Average" for her next assignment – not, like, failing it, but just aiming for "good enough." Rachel: And I'm guessing the world didn't implode because she didn't write Shakespearean-level essays? Autumn: Exactly. Jennifer finished the assignment with way less pressure, and she realized her value wasn’t about acing everything. It wasn't about settling for mediocrity; it was about breaking those chains of self-imposed perfectionism. Rachel: Right, so the goal wasn't to lower her standards permanently, but to, like, recalibrate what was truly necessary for her well-being? Autumn: You got it. And another key technique for self-esteem is recognizing intrinsic worth – understanding that your value as a person doesn’t come from external validation or success. Rachel: Okay, that one sounds a bit tougher, maybe? Easier said than done, right? Autumn: Totally true, but it’s life-changing when it clicks. Take Susan’s story. She believed her worth depended on others’ approval. So, she chased validation constantly. In therapy, she started reframing her thoughts: “Appreciation feels nice, but my value “doesn’t” depend on it.” She started exploring hobbies like watercolor painting and gardening – not to impress anyone, just for herself. Rachel: So, by shifting her focus inward, she built, like, internal proof that she mattered even if nobody else was cheering her on? Autumn: Exactly! It’s super empowering to realize that your happiness and self-worth are under your control, not someone else’s. Rachel: Okay, I see how these techniques can boost self-esteem, but what about the procrastinators out there? Because, Autumn, believe me – some days, getting out of bed feels like summiting Everest. Autumn: You’re definitely not alone there, Rachel. Procrastination isn’t just laziness, though – it’s often rooted in fear of failure or feelings of overwhelm, which creates this vicious cycle. That’s why cognitive therapy approaches it differently, with tools that really target those emotional blocks. Rachel: Alright, then. Walk me through it. How do we get unstuck from this cycle of avoidance, then? Autumn: Let’s start with the "Daily Activity Schedule." It’s simple but effective – you map out your day, hour by hour. That could be "eat breakfast," "respond to emails,", or even "take a 10-minute walk." For someone paralyzed by inactivity, even noting tiny accomplishments builds momentum. Rachel: So, it’s like breaking the day into bite-sized pieces, instead of staring at the entire mountain you have to climb? Autumn: Exactly. It’s evidence that even small wins chip away at the larger goal, which then boosts your confidence. And then there’s the "Antiprocrastination Sheet," which helps you challenge your fears around specific tasks. Rachel: And how does “that” work, then? Autumn: You list a task you’ve been putting off – grading papers or submitting an application, say – and you predict its difficulty versus the satisfaction you'll feel afterward. Then, after finishing it, you compare those expectations to reality. Usually, people find the task was less daunting than they thought, and that realization makes tackling future tasks much easier. Rachel: Right, so it's like myth-busting your own avoidance habits. Autumn: Totally. And don’t forget the "But-Rebuttal Method" – addressing those excuses that keep you stuck. Like, you might think, “I could start writing now, but I don’t have enough energy.” The rebuttal could be, “Even writing one sentence will make me feel like I’ve made progress.” A way to shrink the resistance and just get started. Rachel: Feels like all these tools are really about flipping the script in your head. Instead of letting the task or the fear dominate, you’re taking back control. Autumn: That’s the essence of it, Rachel. Whether it’s self-esteem or procrastination, these tools remind us that change happens in small, manageable steps – steps that show us we’re capable of more than we tend to think.

Autumn: So, with these techniques in mind, naturally we start thinking about really deep emotional struggles, like hopelessness. In “Feeling Good”, Dr. Burns really delves into coping with hopelessness and even suicidal thoughts. I mean, this section gets to the core of what depression feels like at its worst. We’re going to look at where hopelessness comes from, talk about some real-life examples of how people have overcome it, and end with a message about hope and resilience. Rachel: Hopelessness, wow, that's a heavy topic, Autumn. I mean, when someone believes there’s just no way out, no future worth fighting for – how do you even begin to change such a deep-seated belief? Autumn: That’s such a good question, Rachel, because hopelessness can feel like this huge, insurmountable thing. But the thing is, a lot of the time, hopelessness comes from cognitive distortions. Depression kind of twists reality, making things feel like they're never going to change and like suffering is going to last forever. The first step, really, is realizing that these distortions are fueling that feeling of hopelessness. Rachel: So, you're saying it’s not some objective truth, but more like an illusion created by a distorted way of thinking? But even illusions can feel incredibly real when you're in the middle of them. Autumn: Exactly. When someone's feeling that way, these emotions are very real and overwhelming. Like, a big distortion that plays into hopelessness is "catastrophizing" – always expecting the absolute worst. And then add in mental filtering, which is focusing only on the negative and ignoring anything positive, and hopelessness just snowballs. Rachel: So throw in a little personalization—blaming yourself for everything— and suddenly your brain’s serving up this completely bleak outlook on life. How do you even begin to help someone see through that? Autumn: Well, Dr. Burns uses techniques like cognitive restructuring, which is all about challenging those automatic, distorted thoughts. But even more importantly, it’s about showing people that feelings – no matter how intense – are temporary, not facts. The human mind has this amazing ability to heal when we give it the tools to change how it sees things. Rachel: Okay, but that all sounds kind of…theoretical. Do you have any examples of this actually working in real life? Autumn: Absolutely. Take Holly, for instance. She was 19 and felt like she was completely surrounded by problems that couldn’t be fixed – family issues, treatments that hadn't worked, and she was really, really critical of herself. She even told her therapist, "I want to kill myself" because she was convinced her life was beyond saving. But through therapy, they were able to start reframing how she saw things. Rachel: How do you even begin? I imagine someone in that state isn't exactly receptive to a pep talk. Autumn: Exactly, which is why practical exercises are so effective. Her therapist used something called the "courtroom exercise," where Holly had to play both the prosecutor and the defense attorney to argue the case for her own worth and her future. Rachel: Let me guess, she probably came out swinging, prosecuting herself, right? Autumn: You could say that! At first, Holly came up with some really devastating arguments against herself – statements like, "I'm worthless," "Nothing will ever change," and "I ruin everything." But then, when she switched to the defense attorney role, the therapist helped her find evidence to counter those claims. Rachel: So, this forced her to engage with facts, not just emotions? Autumn: Precisely! For every negative claim Holly made, the defense had to find factual evidence to contradict it. So, if she said, "I've ruined everything," they'd pull out examples of academic achievements or relationships she’d maintained. The more she practiced, the more she could actually see how distorted her initial thoughts were. She even said, "For the first time, I feel like I might be able to believe in myself again." Rachel: That’s huge. It sounds like she built this factual safety net that was strong enough to catch her when her emotions tried to drag her down again. Any other stories like that? Autumn: Yeah! There’s Louise, a woman in her fifties who had lived through years of unnoticed accomplishments—raising her son, supporting family members during a crisis—but felt utterly irrelevant. Her depression got so bad that she even attempted suicide. She was convinced her life hadn't mattered at all. Rachel: And therapy helped her rewrite her story? Autumn: It did. Dr. Burns challenged Louise to write down all the moments in her life where she had an impact on others. At first, she resisted, downplaying everything as "just what anyone would do." But as they talked about these experiences together, Louise started to see them as acts of strength and selflessness. Even something as simple as just being her family’s anchor during a tough time became this monumental thing. That sense of pride in her resilience became the foundation for her recovery. Rachel: So, by seeing her life in a new light, Louise was able to rebuild her sense of self-worth. It sounds like mental archaeology – digging through buried feelings to uncover overlooked gems. Autumn: I love that analogy, Rachel – exactly! The stories of Holly and Louise really show how important it is to challenge the feeling that despair is permanent. Every emotion, no matter how overwhelming, is temporary. Rachel: Right, but what if someone is so paralyzed by depression that they can't even engage in those exercises? I mean, there's no reasoning your way out of it when you can’t even get out of bed. Autumn: That's such an important point, and it’s why these kinds of therapies often combine cognitive work with focusing on basic daily functioning. Someone in that state, the first steps might be as simple as establishing daily routines, or even just talking through their pain with a therapist who validates their experience while gently challenging their assumptions. Rachel: And the therapist isn't just there to “fix” them, but to walk alongside them. Autumn: Exactly. Therapists like Dr. Burns aren’t just telling people to "think happy thoughts." They're guiding people to build their own toolkits. And positive reinforcement matters – celebrating even the smallest victories creates momentum. Rachel: So, the big takeaway here is that hopelessness might feel like this immovable wall, but with insight, some time, and the right tools, you can start to see cracks appear. And eventually, that wall can even crumble. Autumn: Beautifully said, Rachel. And here’s the truth that all of these techniques point to: hope is always within reach, even when it feels impossibly far away.

Autumn: Wow, Rachel, what a journey we've had today! We started by digging into cognitive distortions—those sneaky thought patterns that mess with our perception of reality and mess with our emotions. Then, we explored practical techniques like cognitive restructuring and the triple-column method, and even tackled procrastination and perfectionism. And finally, we looked at coping with hopelessness, showing how reframing these distorted thoughts can “really” change things. Rachel: Yeah, and what “really” struck me was how simple, yet effective, these tools are. It's not about suppressing how you feel but more about learning to question and balance those feelings. Burns’s work showed that even the toughest feelings, like hopelessness, often come from distorted thinking that can be changed. So, it's not just about positive thinking; it’s about accurate thinking. Autumn: Exactly. The key takeaway is: your thoughts aren't always facts. Feelings like despair can feel intense, but they're often from thinking patterns that can be changed with practice and kindness towards yourself. Rachel: So, whether it's changing "I have to be perfect" to "It's okay to be human," or doing those triple-column exercises, the goal is to take small steps towards clarity and emotional strength. And, “Feeling Good” isn’t just a book title—it's a real skill you can develop. Autumn: Absolutely! To our listeners, remember—the tools we talked about aren’t just techniques; they’re a way to see yourself and your life in a more realistic and accepting way. If you see yourself in these patterns, don't see it as a failure, but as a chance to grow. You can rewrite your story. Rachel: So, be kind to yourselves, question those harsh thoughts, and maybe try "Dare to Be Average." You might be surprised what happens when you let go of needing to be perfect and just focus on making progress. Autumn: Well said, Rachel. And with that, we'll leave you with this: your mind might play tricks, but you have the power to question and reframe. You’re stronger than you realize. Rachel: And with a bit of practice, you might just find yourself feeling... well, good. Autumn: Thanks for being with us, and until next time, take care and be kind to yourself!