
Everyday Ubuntu
9 min14 Lessons from the Rainbow Nation
Introduction
Narrator: In the heart of apartheid-era South Africa, a young black boy named Desmond Tutu was walking with his mother down the street. It was a world of enforced separation and daily indignities, where black people were systematically treated as inferior. As they walked, a tall white priest approached them from the opposite direction. In a society where black people were expected to step off the pavement for whites, the priest did something revolutionary. He stopped, smiled, and tipped his hat to Tutu’s mother—a simple, profound gesture of respect. That small act, performed by a priest named Trevor Huddleston, planted a seed in the young boy’s mind. It showed him that another way was possible, that humanity could transcend the ugly divisions of race and power. What is the philosophy that powers such a simple yet world-changing gesture?
In the book Everyday Ubuntu: 14 Lessons from the Rainbow Nation, author Mungi Ngomane, the granddaughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, explores this very philosophy. Ubuntu is a powerful African concept of our shared humanity, teaching that we are all inextricably linked. It offers a timeless and urgent path toward connection, compassion, and community in a world that often feels fractured and divided.
The Core of Ubuntu: I Am Because You Are
Key Insight 1
Narrator: The central tenet of Ubuntu is captured in the Nguni Bantu proverb, "Umuntu, ngumuntu, ngabantu," which translates to "a person is a person through other persons." This philosophy rejects the idea of the self-made individual, proposing instead that our humanity is not an isolated quality but a shared state, caught up and bound together with the humanity of others. We define ourselves and find our fulfillment through our connections, our communities, and our relationships.
This principle was vividly illustrated in the life of the author's grandfather, Archbishop Desmond Tutu. In 1984, when he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, he invited around fifty family members and friends from all over the world to celebrate with him. During the ceremony, a bomb scare forced a complete evacuation of the hall. As Tutu stood outside with his community, looking at the faces of those who had supported him, he had a profound realization. He understood that the award was not his alone. His achievements were the result of the collective effort, sacrifice, and support of every person standing there with him. In that moment, he fully embodied the meaning of Ubuntu: "I am only because you are."
Strength is Found in Unity, Not Individualism
Key Insight 2
Narrator: While many modern societies champion fierce independence and competition, Ubuntu teaches that true strength lies in unity and collaboration. It posits that we are fundamentally social beings who thrive not in isolation but in community. This idea is captured in another African proverb: "Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable."
This principle is demonstrated not only in grand historical movements like Mahatma Gandhi's Salt March, where collective action challenged an empire, but also in spontaneous moments of human connection. In 2014, at a train station in Perth, Australia, a commuter slipped and his leg became trapped in the gap between the train and the platform. He was stuck and in danger. In response, dozens of his fellow passengers, complete strangers to one another, organized themselves without a word. They lined up and pushed against the massive train car in unison until it tilted just enough for the man to be freed. This powerful act of spontaneous cooperation shows that a crowd united for the common good can achieve what no single person could. It is a perfect example of how our collective strength far surpasses our individual capacity.
Empathy is a Choice: Walking in Another's Shoes
Key Insight 3
Narrator: Ubuntu is not a passive philosophy; it demands active participation, particularly the conscious choice to practice empathy. This means going beyond simply feeling sorry for someone and truly attempting to understand their perspective, to "climb inside of their skin and walk around in it." This requires setting aside judgment and asking not "What is wrong with you?" but "What has happened to you?"
Perhaps one of the most powerful examples of this is the story of Amy Biehl, an American Fulbright scholar who was murdered by a mob in South Africa in 1993, just before the end of apartheid. After her death, her parents, Linda and Peter, traveled to South Africa to attend the Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearings where their daughter's killers were applying for amnesty. Instead of seeking revenge, they chose to listen. They heard the stories of the young men's lives, which were filled with poverty, violence, and the dehumanizing effects of apartheid. By choosing to see the wider perspective, they began to understand the forces that had shaped their daughter's killers. This act of radical empathy led them to forgive the men and, astonishingly, to co-found the Amy Biehl Foundation with them, an organization dedicated to empowering youth in the very same community. Their story shows that empathy is a choice that can transform unimaginable pain into a force for healing and reconciliation.
Forgiveness is a Power for the Future, Not a Weakness of the Past
Key Insight 4
Narrator: In the world of Ubuntu, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but the ultimate attribute of the strong. It is not about condoning a harmful act or forgetting the past. Instead, it is about freeing oneself from the corrosive burden of bitterness, anger, and a desire for revenge. As Archbishop Tutu often said, "Without forgiveness, there is no future." Holding onto resentment traps us in the past, while forgiveness allows us to move forward.
This principle was embodied by Nelson Mandela. After spending 27 years in prison for fighting against apartheid, he could have emerged a bitter man seeking retribution. Instead, he chose forgiveness. An incredible story from his time in prison is his unlikely friendship with Christo Brand, a young white guard. Mandela treated Brand with respect, asking about his family and finding common ground. This consistent kindness slowly broke down Brand's pro-apartheid beliefs. When Mandela was finally released and became president, he invited Brand to his inauguration as a guest of honor. This act was a powerful symbol to the world that forgiveness was the only path to building a new, unified South Africa. It demonstrated that forgiving is not for the benefit of the perpetrator, but for the one who forgives, allowing them to reclaim their own humanity and build a hopeful future.
The Smallest Actions Create the Largest Ripples
Key Insight 5
Narrator: Ubuntu teaches that because we are all connected, every action, no matter how small, has the potential for a significant impact. We often underestimate the power of a simple gesture, a kind word, or a moment of genuine listening. These small acts can snowball, creating waves of positive change that we may never even see.
This idea is perfectly captured by the story that began this journey: Trevor Huddleston tipping his hat to Desmond Tutu's mother. In the grand scheme of the brutal apartheid system, it was a tiny, almost insignificant event. But for the young Tutu, it was life-altering. That single act of respect from a white man toward a black woman showed him that the oppressive rules of his society were not unbreakable. It demonstrated that a different, more humane world was possible. This small moment of Ubuntu helped shape his entire life's work, which in turn helped change a nation. It serves as a profound reminder that we do not need to be world leaders to make a difference. A small act of dignity, respect, or kindness can be the catalyst for monumental change.
Conclusion
Narrator: The most vital takeaway from Everyday Ubuntu is that our humanity is not an individual possession but a shared condition. The philosophy of "I am because you are" is not an abstract ideal but a practical, daily guide for living a more connected and compassionate life. It reframes our understanding of strength, success, and fulfillment, moving the focus from the self to the community.
The book leaves us with a powerful challenge to the modern obsession with individualism. It poses a profound question: What if the key to our own peace and well-being lies not within us, but between us? The ultimate test of Ubuntu is to actively seek our own reflection in the eyes of others—especially those we find it hardest to understand—and to have the courage to act on that recognition, one small, respectful gesture at a time.