Mark: A massive panic attack. That's what the author, a successful music executive, got for achieving everything he ever wanted. Michelle: Oh, wow. That’s not the bonus you expect at the top of the corporate ladder. Mark: Not at all. It turns out the ladder of success is often leaning against the wrong wall, and today we're finding out why climbing down is the first step to truly mattering. Michelle: I am so ready for this. That feeling is intensely relatable, even for those of us not closing deals with rockstars. Mark: It’s at the very heart of the book we’re diving into today: Every Monday Matters: How to Kick Your Week Off with Passion, Purpose, & Positivity by Matthew Emerzian. Michelle: And his background is wild. This isn't a lifelong monk sharing wisdom from a mountaintop. This was a guy with an MBA from UCLA, working as an SVP in the music industry with Robert Kardashian’s company. We're talking huge artists like U2 and Coldplay. He was, by all accounts, living the dream. Mark: He was the definition of external success. And that's what makes his central message so powerful. He had to hit rock bottom, to have his body and mind completely short-circuit, to discover that true mattering isn't about achievement. It's about service. Michelle: Okay, that’s a huge claim. Let's get into it. What does that even mean, a ladder against the wrong wall? What was his 'wrong wall'?

Mark: His wrong wall was the one we're all encouraged to climb. The one with rungs made of money, status, possessions, and career titles. He writes about how he'd been chasing these things his whole life, and when he finally got to the top, he looked around and felt... nothing. Worse than nothing, actually. He felt a profound emptiness that culminated in that massive panic attack. Michelle: That’s terrifying. To do everything "right" and have it feel so wrong. So what happened after the panic attack? You don't just bounce back from that. Mark: No, you don't. He describes it as the beginning of years of major anxiety and deep depression. He went to therapy, got on medication, and started the grueling work of unpacking his life. He had this incredible moment of clarity, which he quotes in the book: "I quickly realized that my ladder of success was leaning against the wrong wall." Michelle: I love that quote. It’s such a perfect visual for that feeling of misaligned ambition. Mark: Exactly. And the turning point came from his therapist, who gave him some advice that sounds almost absurdly simple. The therapist suggested he try to live a life that "wasn't about him." Michelle: Wait, hold on. His therapist basically told him to stop focusing on himself? That feels like the complete opposite of most modern self-help advice, which is all about self-care, self-love, and prioritizing your own needs. Mark: It is! And that's the radical shift. It wasn't about ignoring his needs, but about changing his focus. He started with a tiny commitment: every Monday, he would do something for someone else. Anything. It could be buying a coffee for a stranger, volunteering, or just writing a thank-you note. He shifted his mindset from being a 'taker'—what can I get from the world?—to a 'giver'—what can I offer the world? Michelle: And that worked? That small shift was enough to pull him out of a deep depression? Mark: Over time, yes. It rewired his brain. He discovered that the feeling of 'mattering' he'd been chasing through success was actually found in making someone else feel like they mattered. This became the foundation for his entire philosophy and the Every Monday Matters nonprofit. Michelle: It’s amazing how a personal crisis can become a public mission. Mark: It’s a recurring theme in his work. He tells this powerful story about Jennifer Friend, the CEO of Project Hope Alliance. She had experienced childhood homelessness but was hesitant to share her story publicly. She felt shame and vulnerability around it. Michelle: I can absolutely understand that. It’s not something you’d put on a resume. Mark: Right. But Matt Emerzian encouraged her, insisting that her story mattered precisely because of its hardship. He told her she had a voice that could help others who felt voiceless. He wouldn't let her back out of it. She eventually embraced it, left her partnership at a law firm, and now leads an organization that helps homeless children. Her greatest source of shame became her greatest source of purpose. Michelle: Wow. That gives me chills. So 'mattering' isn't about being perfect or successful. It's about using your whole story, even the broken parts, in service of others. Mark: That's the core of the 'Mattering Mindset.' It's the answer to the question, "Why am I here?" The book argues that we all share these fundamental human desires: to feel loved, to have a purpose, to be seen, to know our actions are meaningful. We want to know that we matter. And the path to feeling it ourselves is by making others feel it first. Michelle: Okay, I’m sold on the 'why.' It’s a beautiful and powerful philosophy born from a really authentic place. But it still sounds a bit abstract. How does one actually do that on a day-to-day basis? How do you build a life around this idea without it just being a nice thought you have once in a while?

Mark: And that's the bridge to the book's 'how.' It’s not about one grand, life-altering gesture. Emerzian built a system for practicing this new mindset, one Monday at a time. The book is literally a 52-week guide. Michelle: The antidote to the failed New Year's resolution! I like it. So it’s a training program for your soul? Mark: That’s a perfect way to put it. It's an architecture for change. The book is divided into themes like "Monday Gets Introspective," "Monday Gets Ambitious," "Monday Gets Selfless." Each Monday within that theme presents a 'mindful moment' for reflection and a simple, concrete 'challenge' to take action. Michelle: Give me an example. What’s one of the most surprising ones? Mark: I think one of the most powerful, because of its simplicity, is from the "Monday Gets Selfless" chapter. The challenge is: "Go Second." Michelle: Go second? What does that mean? Mark: It means consciously choosing to let someone else go first. Let someone merge in front of you in traffic. Hold the elevator door for someone rushing. Let the person with only two items go ahead of you at the grocery store, even if you’re in a hurry. Michelle: Okay, 'Go Second' sounds nice, but does letting someone cut in line at the coffee shop really change your life? Isn't that a bit... small? It feels almost trivial. Mark: And that’s the genius of it! It seems trivial, but it's a micro-dose of selflessness. In a world that screams "me first," it's a tiny act of rebellion. The book argues that our lives are the sum of our choices, and these small choices create a ripple effect. Each time you 'go second,' you are actively training your brain to de-center yourself. You're building a muscle for empathy and patience. Michelle: Huh. So it's not about the single act, it's about the cumulative effect of the practice. It’s like doing one push-up. One won't change your body, but one every day for a year absolutely will. Mark: Exactly. You're building the 'mattering' muscle. Another great example is from "Monday Gets Resilient." The challenge is to "Be a Bouncer." Michelle: A bouncer? Like, at a club? Mark: Metaphorically! He asks you to think about what happens when you drop a rubber ball. It bounces right back up. But what happens if you drop a tomato? Michelle: It splatters. It becomes a sad puddle. A wallower. Mark: Precisely. The book says that in life, we all get dropped. We face setbacks, failures, and disappointments. The question is, are you a bouncer or a wallower? Do you bounce back, maybe a little scuffed up but still whole, or do you stay on the floor in a puddle of self-pity? Michelle: I think we’ve all been the tomato at some point. So what’s the action? How do you practice being a bouncer? Mark: It starts with awareness. Recognizing when you're in 'wallower' mode. The book suggests inviting feedback from trusted friends, choosing your response wisely, and reframing the narrative. He uses this great quote: "I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." Being a bouncer is a choice you make in the moment of impact. Michelle: I love that. It connects back to his own story. He could have wallowed in his anxiety and depression, but he chose to bounce back by building this whole movement. Mark: It's all connected. The book is filled with these simple, actionable metaphors. "Fail at Something" to build courage. "Smile at a Stranger" to practice connection. "Track Your Time" to build awareness. None of them are earth-shattering on their own. But together, week after week, they form a practical blueprint for living out the 'Mattering Mindset.' Michelle: It’s interesting because the book has received a generally positive but somewhat mixed reception. Some readers find it incredibly inspiring, while others say the advice can feel a bit simplistic or repetitive. Hearing you explain it, I can see both sides. Mark: I think that's fair. If you just flip through it, you might see "be kind" and think, "I've heard this before." But the power isn't in the novelty of each individual idea. It's in the structure. It’s the relentless, weekly consistency. It’s the understanding that this isn't a book you just read; it's a workbook you live. And knowing that the proceeds support a K-12 curriculum that's reached millions of students adds another layer of meaning. You're not just buying a book; you're participating in the ripple effect.

Michelle: So, the book is really a one-two punch. First, a radical wake-up call, delivered through the author's own harrowing story, that our modern definition of success might be the very thing making us miserable. Mark: A ladder leaning against the wrong wall. Michelle: Exactly. And second, a surprisingly simple, almost mundane, weekly training program to build a new life. It’s not about finding your passion in one lightning bolt moment; it’s about building a life of purpose, one small, intentional Monday at a time. Mark: That’s it perfectly. It's about making purpose a practice, not a destination. It demystifies the idea of 'living a meaningful life' and breaks it down into something you can start doing right now, this afternoon. Michelle: Which is probably what makes it so effective. It lowers the barrier to entry for change. Mark: Absolutely. And the book makes it incredibly accessible. The author suggests a simple action for listeners: this week, just try one thing from the book. You don't even need to buy it. Just pick one. "Smile at a stranger" on your commute. Or in your next conversation, practice "Listen first" without planning your response while the other person is talking. Just try one small act of intentional mattering. Michelle: I love that. It’s not about overhauling your life by Tuesday. It’s a tiny experiment. I'm going to try the 'listen first' one. I am notoriously bad at that. Mark: Me too. It’s a challenge. But a worthy one. Michelle: We’d love to hear what small action you all try. Find us on our socials and let us know how it went, or what your 'go-to' small act of kindness is. It’s always inspiring to see what the community comes up with. Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.