Mark: 65 percent of startups don't fail because of a bad idea. They fail because the co-founders couldn't stand each other. But what if the biggest co-founder conflict is with the system itself? A system that was never built for you in the first place. Michelle: Wow. That hits hard. We always hear about the brilliant idea that didn't work out, but we rarely talk about the invisible forces, or the people, that doom a venture from the start. Mark: Exactly. And that's the territory we're exploring today with the Wall Street Journal bestseller, Build the Damn Thing: How to Start a Successful Business If You’re Not a Rich White Guy by Kathryn Finney. Michelle: And Kathryn Finney is the perfect person to write this. She's not just a theorist; she was one of the first Black women to have a seven-figure startup exit with her company, The Budget Fashionista. She has lived every word of this book. Mark: She absolutely has. And she starts with a premise that is both a gut punch and a huge validation for so many people. She says entrepreneurship is like a video game. Michelle: Okay, I'm listening. Mark: Some people get to start on easy mode. She calls them the 'Entitleds'—typically, rich, white, straight, cisgender men. They start with thicker armor, special weapons, unlimited ammo, and even cheat codes. Michelle: I can picture it. They have the network, the family money, the benefit of the doubt. Mark: Right. But then there are the 'Builders.' That's everyone else. And depending on your identity—if you're a woman, a person of color, LGBTQ+—you're forced to start on a harder difficulty level. No armor, no special weapons, and no extra lives. Michelle: That is such a powerful and, honestly, accurate metaphor for what so many people feel. It’s not that they can’t win the game; it’s that the game itself is fundamentally unfair from the jump. Mark: And the mechanism that keeps it unfair is a concept she drills down on called 'pattern matching.' Michelle: Hold on, 'pattern matching.' That sounds like a corporate buzzword. What does it actually look like in a real conversation? How does it manifest? Mark: I'm so glad you asked. Because Finney gives one of the most vivid, infuriating, and clarifying stories I have ever read about exactly what it looks like.

Mark: So, picture this. It's 2009. Kathryn Finney is already a success. She's built The Budget Fashionista into a media empire with over a million weekly visitors. She's a Yale-trained epidemiologist. She is, by any measure, a powerhouse. She joins a New York incubator for her next idea: a beauty subscription brand for Black women. Michelle: Which sounds like a fantastic idea. That market is enormous. Mark: Billions. And she has the data. She stands up to give her pitch in a room of seventy people—mostly white men, tech CEOs, investors. She lays it all out: Black women are 6% of the population but buy nearly 50% of all hair care products. The market is worth half a trillion dollars. Her pitch is flawless. A guest mentor, the CEO of Meetup.com, calls it 'one of the best elevator pitches' he's ever heard. Michelle: So, a home run. They must have been throwing money at her. Mark: You would think. But then the floor opens for feedback from the cohort. One 'famous tech god' just says, "I don't do Black women." Michelle: What? He just said that? Out loud? Mark: Out loud. Another, the brother of the incubator head, questions if she can 'relate to other Black women' because she has an accountant. They question if women online are even a 'real' customer base. It's a cascade of dismissals rooted in bias and ignorance. Michelle: That is just infuriating. It's not even feedback on the business; it's a judgment of her identity and a complete failure to see a massive market right in front of them. Mark: But it gets worse. Determined, she schedules a meeting with the founder of the incubator, a man she dubs the 'Voldemort of Venture Capital.' She carefully manages her tone, smiling, being friendly, because she knows the 'angry Black woman' stereotype is a trap. She re-pitches her idea, highlighting the recession-proof market and her proven platform. He seems engaged, he's whiteboarding ideas... and then he leans in. Michelle: Oh no. I'm bracing myself. Mark: He looks at her and says, "I don’t know of any investor who’s invested in a Black woman. I’m not saying that you won’t get investment, it’s just highly unlikely that you will." And then he ends the meeting. Michelle: That's... devastating. It's the 'pattern matching' in its rawest form. He's not saying the idea is bad. He's saying she doesn't fit the pattern of who gets money. Mark: Exactly. And the worst part is, he probably thought he was giving her helpful, 'realistic' advice. He was just articulating the unspoken rules of the rigged game. He was admitting that the system is designed to exclude people who look like her, regardless of merit. Michelle: And that’s why the book is so important. It’s not just about building a business. It’s about building a business when the gatekeepers have already decided you’re not supposed to win.

Mark: Precisely. And facing that kind of systemic wall is why the very first step in her book isn't about business plans or pitch decks. It's 'Step 1: Get Your Mind Right.' Michelle: I love that. It’s not about the external world first; it’s about your internal foundation. Mark: Finney argues that the founder is the hub of the company. If the hub is broken, the whole wheel falls apart. So before you can build the damn thing, you have to build yourself. And a huge part of that is reframing your relationship with failure. Michelle: Okay, but 'embracing failure' is a classic piece of Silicon Valley advice. It's easy to say for a rich white guy from Stanford who can fail upwards into another well-funded startup. But Finney points out the stakes are way higher for 'Builders,' right? Where failure can wipe out a family's entire savings. Mark: She absolutely does. She highlights that the median net worth of a Black family is about one-eighth of a white family's. The pressure is immense. But she makes a critical distinction between the expectation of failure, which is what the system imposes on you, and giving yourself the permission to fail, which is about seeing it as part of the journey. And she illustrates this with the incredible story of her own father, Robert Finney. Michelle: Tell me. Mark: Her dad grew up in 1960s Milwaukee. A high school guidance counselor told him to forget his dream of being a surgeon and learn a trade. He ended up serving two tours in Vietnam, came back, and got a good job at the Schlitz brewery. But in 1982, the brewery shut down overnight. The whole community was devastated. Michelle: A classic story of industrial decline. That could have been the end of his story. Mark: For many, it was. But Bob Finney, while working odd jobs like driving a snack cake truck, took a Saturday C++ class. That led to an unpaid internship, which led to an entry-level programmer job in another state. He moved his entire family, leaving their support system behind, against the advice of friends who predicted he'd fail. Michelle: That takes incredible courage. And a belief in himself when no one else had it. Mark: Unbelievable courage. And he didn't just survive; he thrived. He rose through the ranks and by 1993, he was a senior engineer at Microsoft. He became a millionaire by age 50. He defied every single expectation and every single failure along the way. Michelle: Wow. So it's not about expecting to fail, but having the resilience to get back up when you do, just like her dad did. It’s about building that internal armor. Mark: It's the perfect example. His story shows that your starting conditions don't have to define your outcome. That's the mindset she argues every 'Builder' needs to cultivate.

Mark: And that resilience is absolutely key when you get to the final step she outlines: getting the money. Because Finney's most powerful point here is that not all money is good money. Some of it is incredibly expensive. Michelle: And she's not talking about interest rates, is she? Mark: Not at all. She's talking about the cost to your control, your vision, and your company's soul. And she uses the cautionary tale of Nasty Gal and its founder, Sophia Amoruso, to make this point. Michelle: Oh, I remember that story. It was a phenomenon. Mark: A massive one. Amoruso built Nasty Gal from an eBay store into a $100 million-a-year retail success, all without debt. It was a true 'Builder' story. But then, the 'Entitleds' came knocking. In 2012, venture capitalists invested $40 million. Michelle: Which sounds like the dream, right? Mark: It sounds like it. But that money came with a price. The VCs expected hyper-growth. They wanted sales to more than quadruple in a single year. As Amoruso herself said, that investment "put an unreasonable price on our head." Michelle: So what happened? Mark: They were forced to grow at an unsustainable pace. They hired 100 people almost overnight. They opened massive headquarters and fulfillment centers. A former employee said, "Things became too complex too fast." Sales started to drop, but the expenses kept rising. The company, which had been built on a specific, authentic culture, was now being forced to act like a generic tech unicorn. Michelle: So the 'cost' of that $40 million wasn't interest, it was the company's soul. It forced them to become something they weren't, and it broke the business. Mark: It broke the business. Nasty Gal filed for bankruptcy in 2016. It’s a perfect parable of what happens when you take money that isn't aligned with your business model. And it's why Finney made a different choice with The Budget Fashionista. She had VC offers for millions, but she knew it would mean giving up control and continuing to run a company she was ready to move on from. Michelle: So she sold it instead. Mark: She sold the whole thing. And because she owned 100 percent of it, she got 100 percent of the proceeds. She chose control and sanity over a bigger check with strings attached. That's the strategic thinking she champions.

Michelle: So when you put it all together, the book isn't just a 'how-to' guide for starting a business. It feels much bigger than that. Mark: Exactly. It's a philosophical intervention. It reframes entrepreneurship for the majority of people who don't start on 'easy mode.' The core message is that your biggest asset isn't your idea or your MBA; it's your resilience, your unique perspective, and your community. Michelle: And the most powerful way to prove the 'Voldemorts of Venture Capital' wrong, as she shows, isn't to argue with them. It's to build the damn thing and let the market prove them wrong. The success of the Black beauty industry, which is now celebrated everywhere, is the ultimate response to that investor who said he "doesn't do Black women." Mark: That's the ultimate validation. The market has the final say. It really makes you want to go out and do something. And Finney's first piece of practical advice in her 'Personal Success Toolbox' chapter is to build a Personal Advisory Board. Michelle: I love that idea. Not a professional board, but a personal one. She suggests roles like a 'BS Meter' to call you out, a 'Motivator,' and even a 'Personal Comedian' for when things get tough. Mark: A brilliant and humane tool. It acknowledges that you can't do it alone. Michelle: It's a great first step for anyone listening. Who would be on your PAB? We'd love to hear from our listeners. Find us on our socials and tell us who you'd pick for your 'BS Meter' or 'Personal Comedian.' Mark: This is Aibrary, signing off.