Narrator: Imagine you're at a rare Saturday breakfast with your young son. It's a precious moment, a chance to connect one-on-one. But your attention isn't on him. It's on your phone, where you're watching a postgame press conference. You're physically present, but your mind is a million miles away. As you're about to leave, you notice a note left on your table by an elderly couple who had been sitting nearby. It reads, "You should pay attention to your son instead of your phone. You only get this time once." This jarring moment of feedback, which happened to hedge fund manager Don Jabro, cuts to the heart of a modern epidemic: our struggle to be truly present. In a world of endless distractions, how do we show up for the moments that matter? The answer, according to author and executive Scott O'Neil, lies in his book, Be Where Your Feet Are. It's a guide to finding fulfillment not by chasing an elusive "balance," but by committing 100% to wherever you are, right now.

Narrator: For decades, the holy grail of personal and professional life has been "work-life balance." O'Neil argues this is the wrong goal entirely. He believes that striving for balance often leads to mediocrity in all areas, as we're never fully committed to anything. The real question isn't how to balance life, but rather, "How do you maintain the discipline to be where your feet are?"

This shift in focus is about moving from a mindset of division to one of immersion. It means that when you're at work, you are fully at work—focused, engaged, and productive. And when you're at home, you are fully at home—present, attentive, and connected. The story of Don Jabro and the note left at the breakfast table is a stark reminder of this principle. His initial reaction was anger and defensiveness, but he quickly realized the anonymous couple was right. He was squandering a priceless moment with his son for something trivial. That note became a wake-up call, prompting him to make a conscious effort to put his phone away and be fully present with his family. It's a powerful illustration that true fulfillment comes from the quality of our attention, not just the allocation of our time.

Narrator: Being present is difficult when our minds are consumed by our own problems. O'Neil suggests that the foundation for presence is perspective. Gaining perspective allows us to see our challenges in a broader context, appreciate what we have, and ground ourselves in the moment.

He shares the story of Dave Sholler, an executive for the Philadelphia 76ers. Sholler grew up in a trailer park with a father battling addiction. One winter morning, his mother drove him and his siblings to a homeless shelter to pick up his father. Filled with anger and resentment, young Dave sat in the car while his mother went inside. As he waited, he saw another woman with three small children get out of a cab. They were carrying all their worldly possessions in a single, raggedy blue duffel bag. In that instant, Dave's world shifted. He realized that while his family was there to pick someone up, this other family was there to stay. That blue duffel bag gave him a profound and lasting sense of perspective. It taught him gratitude and helped him understand that no matter how bad things seemed, they could always be worse. This ability to find perspective became a cornerstone of his character, allowing him to remain focused and calm under pressure.

Narrator: Life inevitably throws punches that can derail our plans. O'Neil argues that in these moments, we have a choice. We can either be defeated or we can "change the race." This means recognizing we have agency, confronting our pain instead of avoiding it, and leaning on our support systems.

Lara Toscani Weems lived this principle after her son, Carter, was born with a rare liver defect that caused severe brain damage. Her "perfect" life was shattered. She and her husband spent months in the hospital, facing the constant threat of losing their child. Lara left her career and isolated herself in grief. But after Carter received a life-saving liver transplant, she began to change the race. She reconnected with friends, started running again, and eventually returned to work. When Carter was fitted for his first wheelchair, a moment that could have been devastating, Lara saw it as a victory—a new way for him to experience the world. She declared, "I’m not settling for second place—I’m just running in a different race, and this is one I am winning." She redefined success, finding purpose and joy in a reality she never expected.

Narrator: To be where our feet are, we first need to know what ground is worth standing on. O'Neil stresses the importance of identifying "What's Most Important" (WMI) in our lives—our core values, whether they relate to family, faith, health, or community. This isn't just a thought exercise; it's about creating a personal compass that guides our daily actions and decisions.

He recounts a meeting with legendary music manager Marty Erlichman, who had managed Barbra Streisand for over 40 years. When O'Neil asked him for the secret to life, Erlichman offered a simple, two-part philosophy. First, wake up and be so passionate about your work that you sprint to the office. Second, at the end of the day, sprint home with that exact same passion. This advice resonated deeply with O'Neil, as it perfectly encapsulated his own WMI: a deep love for his work and an equally deep love for the joy he finds at home. Defining your WMI allows you to live with intention, ensuring your energy is spent on the things that truly matter.

Narrator: O'Neil is a firm believer that failure is a more effective teacher than success. The key is to "fail forward"—to treat setbacks not as dead ends, but as valuable data points. This involves analyzing what went wrong, compartmentalizing the lessons, and using that knowledge to grow.

After being publicly fired from his dream job as president of Madison Square Garden Sports, O'Neil was devastated. He felt lost and embarrassed. His mentor, Peter Guber, gave him crucial advice: "Just find a beach somewhere... Get the you back in you. Find yourself. Then call me." Instead of immediately jumping into another job to soothe his ego, O'Neil took the time to decompress and reflect. He reconnected with his wife and was fully present on a trip with his daughters. This period of forced reflection allowed him to realize that how you live is a choice. He stopped blaming others, focused on his own mental recovery, and emerged with a clearer vision for his future. He learned that setbacks, while painful, provide a unique opportunity to reassess, learn, and move forward with greater wisdom.

Narrator: In any group, whether it's a company, a family, or a community, people play different roles. O'Neil uses a viral video called "Battle at Kruger" to illustrate this. In the video, a herd of water buffalo is attacked by lions, who drag a calf into a watering hole where a crocodile also joins the fray. At first, the herd scatters. But then, something amazing happens. The herd regroups, turns around, and charges the lions, saving the calf.

O'Neil uses this as an allegory for teamwork. He asks, who are you in this scenario? Are you a "tourist," passively watching from the sidelines? Are you a "lion" or a "crocodile," acting as a predator? Or are you a "water buffalo," a committed teammate willing to charge back into the fight to support the group? He challenges readers to be a "purple water buffalo"—a standout teammate who is unreasonably hardworking, intellectually curious, and extraordinarily supportive. It's a call to take ownership, help others, and contribute to the collective good.

Narrator: Our perceptions are often colored by our own biases and insecurities. O'Neil advocates for a simple but transformative mindset shift: Assume Positive Intent (API). This means approaching every interaction with the belief that the other person is kind, has good intentions, and deserves the benefit of the doubt.

This principle was put to the test on a city-wide scale in Camden, New Jersey, once one of America's most dangerous cities. In 2013, the city abolished its police force and created a new one built on the philosophy of "Service Before Self." Led by Chief Scott Thomson, officers shifted from being "warriors" to "guardians." They focused on building relationships, getting out of their cars, and engaging with the community. They assumed the community's intent was positive and worked to earn their trust. The results were staggering. Crime rates plummeted, and hope began to return to the city. The Camden story is a powerful testament that assuming positive intent can break down walls of distrust and create profound, positive change.

Narrator: In a world that craves instant results, patience is a superpower. O'Neil champions the idea of "Trust the Process," a phrase that became the rallying cry for the Philadelphia 76ers during their controversial, multi-year rebuilding effort. The strategy involved intentionally losing games to acquire high draft picks—a painful, short-term sacrifice for a long-term vision.

The team faced intense criticism, but the leadership, the fans, and the players bought into the long-term plan. They understood that there are no shortcuts to the top. The process was about making small, incremental decisions that would compound over time. It required a clear vision, the resilience to withstand public scrutiny, and the patience to see it through. Ultimately, the process worked. The 76ers transformed from a league laughingstock into a perennial championship contender. It's a lesson that applies far beyond sports: true, sustainable success requires a long-term view, a commitment to the grind, and unwavering trust in the process.

Narrator: The single most important takeaway from Be Where Your Feet Are is that a meaningful life is not found in a perfectly balanced spreadsheet of time. It's built in the messy, beautiful, and often chaotic moments of our daily existence. The power to transform our lives lies in the simple, conscious choice to be fully present—with our colleagues, with our families, and with ourselves.

The book ends with a powerful quote from John Gardner: "Meaning is not something you stumble across... Meaning is something you build into your life." This is the ultimate challenge O'Neil leaves us with. A fulfilling life isn't out there waiting to be discovered; it's right here, waiting to be constructed, one present moment at a time. The real question is, are you ready to start building?