Autumn: Hey everyone, welcome back Today we're tackling something super common: anxiety You know, that feeling of racing thoughts, that tight chest, that constant "on edge" feeling? It can feel overwhelming, for sure But the good news is, it's totally manageable. Rachel: "Manageable," huh? Okay, I’ve got questions Big ones Like, where does anxiety even come from? Why does our brain seem hardwired for worst-case scenarios? And the million-dollar question: what actually works to calm it down? Autumn: Great questions, Rachel, and lucky for us, we've got a fantastic guide for this conversation We're diving into Dr Jill P Weber's book, “Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now.” She breaks anxiety down into three key areas—feelings, behaviors, and thoughts—and gives you practical techniques to really understand what's going on, confront the things you avoid, and rethink those anxious thoughts. Rachel: So, it's like a three-pronged strategy to basically disarm the anxiety bomb that's always ticking? Autumn: Exactly! And it's all backed up with solid tools like mindfulness, exposure exercises, and ways to talk to yourself that are actually helpful The point isn't to completely "eliminate" anxiety—that's probably not realistic It's about, you know, taming it, accepting that it’s there, and building habits that make you stronger in the long run. Rachel: Okay, I'm intrigued So, podcast plan of attack? What's the roadmap here? Autumn: Absolutely Think of it as a three-step journey First, we dig into the roots of anxiety, because, let’s face it, understanding why it's happening is the first step Then, we'll get into the actionable tools—CBT techniques, mindfulness, the whole shebang—that you can use to tackle anxiety head-on And finally, we'll talk about building resilience, so you're not just coping, you're actually, you know, thriving despite the anxiety. Rachel: Sounds solid—roots, tools, resilience Though personally, I’m hoping there's a bonus level for, "What to do when I’m spiraling at 3 a.m about some awkward email I sent six months ago?" Autumn: Oh, Rachel, you are definitely not alone there! And trust me, we will talk about breaking those patterns of endless overthinking. Rachel: Alright then, let's do this Where do we even begin?

Autumn: Okay, let's dive right in, shall we? First, it's important to understand what anxiety “is” and how it works. And you know what's interesting? Anxiety isn't all bad. At its core, it's actually linked to our survival instincts, that whole fight-or-flight response. It’s an evolutionary thing—it's what kept our ancestors alert and, well, alive. Think about it: imagine you're walking through the woods, and suddenly, there's a snake right there on the path. Your body just kicks into gear, right? Heart pounding, muscles tensing up, adrenaline goes through the roof. That’s anxiety in its adaptive, life-saving form. Rachel: Right, so anxiety was basically our ancient alarm system. A kind of natural "Hey, there might be a saber-toothed tiger nearby, so heads up!" alert. But, Autumn, unless I've missed something, we’re not exactly dodging tigers on the way to work these days. So, why does my brain still react as if I am in Jurassic Park every time I look at my emails? Autumn: That’s a fantastic question! I think that's where understanding “maladaptive” anxiety comes in. See, while our fight-or-flight was meant for real, immediate danger, modern life throws us curveballs that our brains interpret as just as scary – even if they aren't. Think of maladaptive anxiety as the same alarm system, but going off when there's no real fire. So, you know, obsessing over whether your boss liked your presentation Or losing sleep replaying certain scenes in your head. Your brain sees these things as dangers, even though you don’t need immediate fight or flight. Rachel: Ah, I see. And instead of gearing up to fight or flee, we just… spiral. Overthinking takes over, we start avoiding things, and self-doubt just becomes the norm. Which brings me to this very practical question: How do we actually tell the difference between adaptive and maladaptive anxiety? Say I'm nervous before a big pitch at work. Isn't that a good thing, to some extent? Doesn't that push me to want to do my best? How do I know when it crosses the line and becomes the "unhelpful" kind of anxiety, as we're calling it? Autumn: The distinction, you're right, is crucial. Adaptive anxiety is functional. It gives like… a nudge to act in a productive way. So, back to your work example: feeling a bit nervous about a presentation might actually motivate you to prepare really well, double-check everything, and practice your delivery... all good things, right? Maladaptive anxiety, on the other hand, is when that worry becomes so intense it almost paralyzes you. Instead of preparing, you might procrastinate or just avoid the presentation altogether because you're convinced you'll fail anyway, no matter how much you practice. Rachel: Okay, that's a good distinction. Adaptive anxiety is like a personal trainer for your emotions, right? It pushes you, but in a way that's still constructive. Maladaptive anxiety is more like… the bully at the gym; it just makes you feel rotten and makes you wonder why you bothered even showing up in the first place. Autumn: Exactly. And the tricky thing is, maladaptive anxiety can turn into a self-fulfilling cycle. Let’s unpack that with an example. The text mentions Mia, a professional who struggled with anxiety about meetings at work. Physically, this would manifest as intense sweating, a racing heart, and just a flood of self-critical thoughts. Emotionally, she just couldn't shake the fear that she'd embarrass herself. And the behavioral result was that she started using up all her sick days to avoid meetings entirely. You see, every time she avoided addressing the anxiety, she just reinforced her fear, and it became harder and harder to break out of that cycle. Rachel: I see. So, instead of decreasing her anxiety, avoidance just ramped it up. And - let me guess - that didn't do wonders for her performance at work either? Autumn: Precisely. Avoidance may feel good in the short term. But it just strengthens the belief that you can't handle the situation in the long term. Over time, this kind of maladaptive pattern doesn’t just shrink your professional opportunities. It also shrinks your sense of confidence and resilience. Rachel: All right. Let's zoom out for a second. You mentioned these three domains of anxiety, right? Physical, emotional, and behavioral. I'm guessing those aren't neatly separated? Like, they must feed off each other, creating some kind of vicious circle? Autumn: Nailed it. They’re deeply interconnected. Think about physical symptoms: a tight chest, rapid heartbeat, digestive issues… These trigger emotional responses, like fear and helplessness. Which, in turn, lead to certain behaviors, like avoiding things, or overcompensating. And then the cycle just keeps going. Let’s look at the text where it mentioned Cole's case. He experienced chronic physical symptoms - headaches and back spasms - that no medical test could explain. It wasn't until his anxiety was addressed that he realized how much those physical sensations were tied to his emotional state. Rachel: Wow, that's wild. So, the anxiety wasn't just in his head – it sort of high-jacked his body too. And it becomes even harder to separate the signal from the noise when it hits the physical level, right? Autumn: Exactly, and that's why it's so important to understand these manifestations. Whether it's a physical reaction, like Cole's, an emotional storm, or behavioral tendencies like avoiding social situations-- simply naming and recognizing these patterns is the first step. Rachel: Okay, so recognition is one thing. But what do we do with it? What's the next move if we find ourselves stuck in the middle of that feedback loop? Autumn: And that brings us to strategies! Tools like mindfulness and breathing exercises can really help manage the physical symptoms. The idea is that calming your body, in turn, helps to ease your mind. Then you have emotional and cognitive techniques, such as reframing anxious thoughts, that allow you to challenge those fears and shift your perspective. For example, you can replace "I'm going to fail" with "It's natural to feel nervous, and I've prepared for this". It "really" makes a huge difference. Rachel: Translation: instead of letting your inner critic run the show, you give your inner coach a chance at the mic. Autumn: Exactly! And for behavioral patterns, exposure techniques are key here. Gradually facing what you’re avoiding, in small steps, teaches your brain that these situations aren’t as scary as they feel. Rachel: Alright, that's making a lot of sense. So, anxiety is like this overactive smoke detector. Sometimes it's warning you of a real fire, but most of the time, it's freaking out because someone burned the toast. Autumn: Precisely! And by addressing the physical, emotional, and behavioral sides of anxiety, we can recalibrate that alarm system and make it work the way it was intended to. You know, it's not about silencing the alarm entirely. It’s about helping it to become more discerning.

Autumn: Once we really understand anxiety, then we can start thinking about how to actually deal with it, right? We’re talking practical strategies here, ways to fight back once you know what you’re up against. So, let’s jump into some proven techniques. And I think a great place to start is with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT as it's usually referred to. Rachel: CBT, yeah, everyone seems to have heard of it, but then they struggle to actually explain what it is. So, Autumn, break it down for us. What exactly is going on in this anxiety-busting framework? Autumn: Okay, so the core idea is that your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions, they're all connected. When you're anxious, your inner voice tends to be super dramatic, right? It jumps to the worst-case scenario. "I can't do this," "I'm going to fail," "Everyone's judging me." What CBT does is teach you to identify these thought patterns, question how true they really are, and then swap them out for more balanced and realistic ones. Rachel: So, it’s like putting your own brain on trial? Like you’re cross-examining that inner voice that keeps saying everything’s going to be a disaster? Autumn: Exactly! Let's say someone's prepping for a presentation at work. Their anxiety might tell them, "If I forget one little thing, everyone will think I'm an idiot, and my career is over." With CBT, they'd stop and say, "Wait, is that really true? Have I given presentations before? What happened then?" If they look back, they might remember little mistakes that didn’t turn into disasters. Maybe people were supportive or didn't even notice. And then they can replace that panic with a more accurate thought, like, "Okay, mistakes happen, but they don't define me." Rachel: Right, so we go from "career apocalypse" to "I'm human, chill out." Makes sense. But does this actually work outside of presentations? What about those everyday moments when you don't have time to rationally talk yourself down? Autumn: That's a really good point. CBT isn’t just about changing your thoughts. It’s also about testing out those anxious predictions through what we call behavioral experiments. Take the example of Mia, who avoided team meetings because she was worried about being judged. Her therapist didn't just address her thoughts; she also worked with Mia to change her behavior. Mia started attending those meetings and paying attention to how people were actually reacting to her. She noticed nods of agreement, neutral expressions, and realized that her fears of being judged were way overblown. Rachel: Like proving your brain wrong one meeting at a time, huh? I guess these experiments are gradually done, right? You don't just jump in the deep end, but tackle your fears bit by bit? Autumn: Precisely. Small steps are super important. That's where exposure techniques come in, which we’ll talk about later. But the main idea with CBT is that it gives you the tools to challenge those anxious thoughts and weaken their hold on you. And the evidence shows it's actually really effective, one of the best treatments we have for anxiety. Rachel: Fair enough. But what about people who find it hard to question their thoughts in the moment? I mean, when you're really anxious, you're not exactly thinking clearly. Are there things you can do when you're in the middle of a panic? Autumn: That's where mindfulness comes in. It creates a pause, a little bit of space to interrupt those spiraling thoughts. Techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises can bring you back to the present moment when things feel overwhelming. Have you ever heard of the "4-4-4 technique"? Rachel: I have a feeling you’re about to tell me about it. Autumn: It's super simple. You breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and breathe out for four. It's powerful because it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm you down. Think of it like hitting the brakes when your anxiety has you speeding out of control. Rachel: Okay, but let’s be real—when you're actually panicking, trying to remember to breathe for four counts feels impossible. Is this something you can actually do when you are “really” stressed? Autumn: It takes practice, definitely. That's why doing things like mindfulness meditation or body scans regularly can be super helpful. Making them part of your routine builds muscle memory and makes it easier to use them when you're “really” struggling. For example, Cole in the text used body scans, and it helped him become aware of how his anxiety was showing up in his body physically. He noticed the tightness in his shoulders and his shallow breathing. This awareness allowed him to address those physical sensations with relaxation exercises. Rachel: So, mindfulness isn’t really about stopping anxious thoughts, but noticing them without getting carried away? Autumn: Exactly. It's less about trying to control everything and more about just observing. One technique is the “5-4-3-2-1 technique” for grounding you when your anxiety spikes. You name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Engaging your senses like that helps shift your focus away from those overwhelming thoughts and back to the present. Rachel: I like that. It’s a very tactile technique, perfect for deflecting the anxiety. But mindfulness seems very individual. What if someone’s anxiety comes from external triggers? Like being terrified of going to a social event? Autumn: That's where exposure therapy comes in. It helps people gradually face their fears and change how they see those situations over time. Think of Jenna, who had been avoiding social events for years because she worried about being judged. Her therapist helped her start with smaller gatherings, places where she knew a few people. As she felt more comfortable, she worked her way up to bigger events. Instead of just avoiding the discomfort, she learned to cope with it and even found she could enjoy herself. Rachel: Right, building up to the big challenges with small victories! But what’s the trick to sticking with exposure therapy? You're basically walking towards the things that scare you the most. Autumn: It's all about taking it slow and rewarding yourself along the way. By starting with small steps, you take manageable risks that give you the confidence to tackle bigger challenges. And eventually, you start to realize that anxiety, while it's definitely uncomfortable, it's also temporary. Avoiding things, on the other hand, just makes the fear stronger. Rachel: So, exposure therapy is like rewiring your brain’s alarm system. The more it sees the 'fire' isn’t real, the less it reacts? Autumn: Exactly! And it’s something you build on over time. And when you combine it with the other techniques we’ve talked about – mindfulness, reframing your thoughts – you’ve got yourself an anxiety toolkit that’s made just for you.

Autumn: So, with these skills in hand, we can really focus on keeping the momentum going, right? Building that long-term growth. Today, we're diving into building resilience—and I'm not just talking about calming your nerves for a day, but about creating a life that's fulfilling and driven by your values, even with anxiety tagging along. Basically, we're redefining our relationship with it, and that means consistent habits, solid support, and really knowing what matters to you. Rachel: So, it's like leveling up, huh? Instead of just reacting to anxiety, we're building, like, an anxiety-proof structure around ourselves. I dig it. Sounds like this isn't a Band-Aid solution but a marathon, not a sprint? Autumn: Absolutely. Building resilience long-term is a whole mindset shift. We need to stop seeing anxiety as the ultimate enemy and recognize that it can be a backdrop, a companion we learn to live with. A huge part of that is being consistent. Take daily habits, for example. Having routines really brings stability when life feels like a rollercoaster. Rachel: Okay, so are we talking about the usual suspects here? Eat your veggies, get enough sleep, that kind of thing? Autumn: Those are definitely the foundation, but we're also talking about things like gratitude journaling or tracking your emotions. These habits are like mental anchors that keep you grounded even when anxiety tries to throw you off course. Take gratitude, for example. Studies show that it actually rewires your brain to be less negative—you know, to not always focus on the worst-case scenario. Rachel: Ah, so the brain doesn't default to seeing the bright side. Interesting. More like having your inner critic on full blast, right? Autumn: Exactly! And practicing gratitude is like turning down the volume on that critic. Like, in the text, Cole started his day writing down three things he was grateful for. It sounds so simple, but over time, it shifted his focus from "What if I mess up today?" to "What's good in my life right now?" By noticing those small positive moments—a nice word from a colleague, the taste of his coffee—he was actually building resilience against those anxious thoughts. Rachel: Okay, I get the idea. Shine a spotlight on the good stuff, so the bad doesn't dominate the scene. But some people—and I might be one of them—might roll their eyes and say, "Seriously? A happy list is going to solve anything?" Autumn: Look, it's not about ignoring problems, Rachel; it's about training your brain to stop amplifying them when you don't need to. Gratitude is just one piece of the puzzle. Another powerful habit is tracking your emotional state. Let's think about Sierra, who had really intense social anxiety. She started a journal where she'd rate her anxiety levels in certain situations and write down what helped. Over time, she started to see patterns--like how deep breathing helped before meeting with colleagues. Tracking gave her insights and, more importantly, showed her progress that she wasn't even aware of day to day. Rachel: Alright, so Sierra is basically her own data analyst. But, real talk, isn't journaling a lot of work? Especially when you already feel burnt out? Autumn: It doesn’t have to be this huge undertaking. Even if you write short entries—just a few lines about what happened, how you felt, and what made it better—you'll get incredibly valuable insights. Emotion journals are like a map, showing you where you’ve been and where you’re going. Otherwise, it's easy to feel like you're going in circles when you've actually made real progress. Rachel: Got it. So, journaling is like your anxiety GPS, kind of recalculating the route when you feel lost. Autumn: Precisely. And while individual habits are great building blocks, you also need to strengthen your support systems to build true resilience. Anxiety is isolating; it makes you feel like you’re all alone, but the truth is, a good support network will remind you that you aren't. Rachel: Let's unpack that. Are we mainly talking about therapy here, or do friends and family count, too? Autumn: You need both. Professional support, like therapy or support groups, gives you structured tools and validation. For example, Jenna joined group therapy to work through her fear of being judged at work. Hearing that others had similar experiences gave her a sense of community, and she learned some real strategies, like challenging self-critical thoughts. Rachel: Okay, I see how that works—sharing the burden with people who get what you're going through. But what about those of us who don't want to spill our guts to total strangers? Where do friends and family fit in? Autumn: Personal connections are just as important. Close friends and family offer emotional comfort and a reality check when you're doubting yourself. After a particularly rough week, Sierra confided in a friend, who reminded her of some past successes. Being heard and getting that reassurance helped bring her back down to earth. These relationships build resilience by showing you that you have a team, even in tough times. Rachel: Okay, that's fair. But I guess we're not talking about just anyone here. Like, venting to a friend who just tells you to "relax" probably isn't the best strategy? Autumn: Right. Good support networks are about quality, not quantity. It's about having people who listen without judging and offer helpful feedback, not clichés or dismissive comments. Over time, these relationships become a place where you can recharge when things get hard. Rachel: Alright, so we've got the habits, the people—now, let's talk about the big picture. You mentioned values earlier. What's that got to do with resilience? Autumn: That's a great question. Values give anxiety a purpose. If you're living in a way that aligns with what's truly important to you, anxiety becomes less of an obstacle and more of a discomfort you're willing to push through to achieve something meaningful. Like Cole, who had a bad traffic accident, and his driving anxiety went through the roof. He didn't just avoid driving altogether; he faced it because he really valued his independence and the connection that driving gave him with friends and family. Little by little, even though it made him uncomfortable, he rebuilt his confidence on the road by taking short trips that gradually got longer. Rachel: So, Cole wasn't just thinking, "I have to drive because I have to drive". He was using his why—freedom and relationships—as his north star? Autumn: Exactly. Resilience isn't about getting rid of anxiety completely; it's about learning to live with it while living a life guided by your values. Shifting your focus gives you a reason to keep going, even when things are uncomfortable. Rachel: Makes sense. But let's be real—there are going to be setbacks, right? What happens when someone feels like they're back to square one? Autumn: Resilience isn’t about avoiding setbacks; it’s about learning from them and adapting. Jenna, for instance, froze during a presentation, even though she thought she was ready. Instead of giving up, she thought about what went wrong and realized that she skipped her usual practice presentations, which always helped calm her nerves. So, tweaking her approach didn't completely erase her anxiety, but it gave her practical tools to use for future challenges. Rachel: Alright, I like that reframing—it’s not failing, it’s tweaking. Autumn: Exactly! Building resilience is a long, ongoing process. Habits, support systems, and values give you the structure to grow, while setbacks become chances to learn and adjust your approach. Eventually, you don’t just manage anxiety; you thrive, despite it.

Autumn: Okay, so today we “really” dug into anxiety, right? We went from the fundamental causes to practical management techniques, and, crucially, how to develop long-term resilience. We talked about the fight-or-flight response that fuels anxiety, looked at cognitive and behavioral strategies like CBT, mindfulness, and exposure therapy. Plus, we emphasized how habits, support networks, and personal values can “really” ground us when things get tough. Rachel: Exactly. And for me, the big takeaway is that we're not trying to erase anxiety completely, but rather to understand it and learn to live with it. Whether it's challenging those catastrophic thoughts, basically rewiring your brain’s alarm system through exposure therapy, or even just practicing gratitude, the aim isn't perfection. It's about making progress, right? Autumn: Precisely, Rachel. Anxiety might not ever vanish entirely, but we can definitely transform our relationship with it. And to everyone listening, the main message is: anxiety doesn't have to run your life. By making small, deliberate actions – whether it's practicing mindfulness, journaling your feelings, or reconnecting with what’s genuinely important – you can develop the resources to not just survive, but actually flourish. Rachel: Yeah, and look, if everything else fails, just remember to breathe. In for four, hold for four, out for four. You've got this. Autumn: Absolutely! And remember, resilience is built, you know, bit by bit, one moment, one habit, one connection at a time. Thank you so much for being with us today — let's face anxiety armed with knowledge and empathy. Rachel: Until next time, everyone — stay curious, stay kind, and hey, don’t forget: it's perfectly okay to take everything, you know, one breath at a time.