Attached

Attachment theory designates three main 'attachment styles,' or manners in which people perceive and respond to intimacy in romantic relationships, which parallel those found in children: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant.

The promise of not being alone. He said things like 'Tamara, you don’t have to be home all by yourself, you can come and work over at my place,' 'You can call me any time you like.'

This theory revealed why Tamara and Greg found it so hard to get along even though they did indeed love each other. They spoke two different languages and exacerbated each other’s natural tendencies—hers to seek physical and emotional closeness and his to prefer independence and shy away from intimacy.

It turns out that the ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on—and this is the 'dependency paradox.'

Understanding attachment styles is an easy and reliable way to understand and predict people’s behavior in any romantic situation.

You often worry that your partner doesn’t really love you or won’t want to stay with you. I want to merge completely with another person and this desire sometimes scares people away.

This mechanism explains why a child parted from his or her mother becomes frantic, searches wildly, or cries uncontrollably until he or she reestablishes contact with her.

A secure base is a prerequisite for a child’s ability to explore, develop, and learn.

If we feel secure, like the infant in the strange situation test when her mother is present, the world is at our feet.

Each partner is able to identify when insecure strategies are activated in their relationship.